As the Light Fades (ARC)

by Catherine West

  Matt sighed. Okay . . . “She did, but my folks . . . when she started using, after it was clear she was an addict and refusing treatment, they went to court and denied her access.”

  “Can they do that?”

  “They did.” He shrugged, not clear on the details. “I think the judge was a friend.”

  “She would have probably shot it all up her arm anyways.”

  “I’m sure that’s what they were afraid of. Anyway.” He ran a finger around the collar of his shirt. “If I take the money, I’m not going to spend it all on a yacht or anything, so don’t get any ideas.”

  She bounced a little on the bed. “You could buy me a car. You know my birthday’s coming up. My sixteenth birthday.” Her grin was infectious, and he couldn’t help smiling.

  “I guess you should probably get your learner’s permit in that case.”

  “Are you serious?” She narrowed her eyes, that distrust creeping in. He longed for the day when it wouldn’t be there.

  “I think you can get your learner’s, yeah. But I’m not buying you a car. I’ll help you out a little when the time comes, but you should earn that on your own.”

  “How? I don’t have that kind of money!”

  Her incredulous look was almost too much. He let out a chuckle. “You’re babysitting, right? And maybe Mrs. McIntyre will hire you on once you’re done working off what you owe her for the garden. How long has it been now?”

  “Too long.”

  “Okay. Well . . . we can talk more about that later.” He liked this, just shooting the breeze, without the tension. “So your grandparents decided to abandon us in favor of a romantic getaway this evening.”

  “Gross.” Mia screwed up her nose. “But kinda cool. Where’d they go?”

  “The Wauwinet.” Matt grinned. “I wondered if you wanted to go out with your lame uncle for pizza tonight? You can ask Cooper to come along if you want. You know, your friend.”

  A sly look inched into her eyes. “I’ll ask my friend if you ask yours.”

  Dang, she was good. Heat raced up the back of his neck. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

  “Do too. I see the way you look at Liz when you think nobody’s watching. I think you’d like to be more than friends.”

  Seriously? At this rate he’d never move on to the reason he came in here. “I’m not asking Elizabeth out for pizza.”

  “Chicken.”

  He gaped. Well, that was so not true. And all she could say was no. “Nuh-uh. Give me that phone.” He scanned her contacts for Elizabeth’s number and punched it in before he lost his nerve. “Hi. No, it’s me. Hijacked her phone. So, what are you doing tonight?”

  A moment later Matt handed Mia her phone back. “There. Your turn.”

  She slapped a hand to her forehead. “You know what? I’m helping with the twins tonight! I totally forgot. Oh dear. Well, I guess you and Miss Carlisle have a date, huh?”

  Matt stared at his niece in disbelief. “You set me up.”

  She shrugged and gave her head a toss. “You deserved it. And lighten up. You might even have fun.”

  “You’re something else, you know that?”

  “Yup. And so are you.”

  Oh, man. Matt sighed and studied the floor a moment. Time to get on with it. He steadied his breathing, looked back at Mia. She stared back at him through questioning eyes. “I need to ask you something, but I don’t want you to freak out. I want you to be honest.”

  The wall went up almost at once. He could see that old defiance creeping in. “I didn’t do anything. Whatever anyone is accusing me of.”

  Hostility laced with a bit of desperation covered her words and pulled his stomach into a knot. “It’s nothing like that.” He pressed his palms onto his knees, stared at the faded floorboards, then faced her again. “Mia, have you ever . . . um, hurt yourself?”

  She inched backward. “What do you mean hurt myself? Like fell down and hit my head or something?”

  “No. Not like that. Like . . . intentionally.” He sucked in air and said the awful word. “Cutting.”

  Her eyes widened, just enough to tip him off. “Of course not.” Moisture pooled on her lashes, and she swiped a hand across her face. “Why would you ask me something so stupid?”

  Matt exhaled and prayed for the right words. “Because I know you’ve been through a lot, and I just—”

  “I said no! You don’t believe me?”

  “I’m just saying that I want you to know I’m here for you, Mia. You can talk to me. About anything. Even that Cooper kid.” He tried out a grin, but she still looked miserable.

  “I’m not doing anything,” she whispered, lower lip trembling. “I can’t even believe you would ask me this.” Her eyes didn’t meet his.

  Ask to see her arms.

  The thought jarred him. Because what if . . . No. He couldn’t do that. Wouldn’t. He knew she wasn’t being honest with him. But if he pushed her, she was too unpredictable. She had run away before, back in Boston. He couldn’t risk her running now, getting on the ferry and disappearing on the mainland.

  “Are you telling me the truth?”

  “I swear! You’re just like everyone else, aren’t you? Nobody believes anything I say. Ever.”

  “Mia, that’s not—”

  “Whatever. Just stop. Leave me alone.”

  “I’m not done.” He raked his hands through his hair and waited until she looked up, her glare scathing. “I think it might be a good idea for you to talk to someone, about your feelings. About everything you went through with your mom.”

  “A shrink?” She spat the word at him, anger flashing again. “No freaking way! I’m not crazy!”

  “I’m not saying you’re crazy.” He fisted his hands and swallowed acid. “But you’ve been through more than most kids your age. I’d like you to see this therapist. I talked to her yesterday, she’s real nice. I think it would help. The nightmares aren’t going away, Mia . . . come on, when’s the last time either of us got a full night’s sleep, huh?”

  “I’m so sorry to be such a burden to you.”

  “Yeah, you should be.” He tapped her on the knee and smiled, hoping to chase off a bit of her dark mood. “Listen, kid, if you don’t know by now, I’m on your side. For better or worse, I’m not going anywhere. And that means I’m going to do everything in my power to make your life the best it can be. If that means dragging you to therapy appointments, I’m down. And I’m not above using you getting your learner’s permit as bribery.”

  “What the—? Oh my gosh, you are such a jerk!” She ground out the words through gritted teeth.

  Yeah, he could live with that. “Do we have a deal?” He held out his hand and wondered if anything he’d said had sunk in. Only God knew.

  “Not like I have a choice.” She smacked his hand away.

  “Unless you want to get rides from me and Elizabeth for the foreseeable future. There’s always the bus too.”

  “Okay, fine. But I don’t have to like it. And I kind of hate you right now.” She reached for her cellphone and fiddled with it.

  He stood up. Conversation over.

  twenty-five

  Liz brushed her hair a final time, applied a little lipstick, and studied her appearance in the mirror. Since the alarm had been installed, she’d been sleeping better. The shadows under her eyes weren’t quite so dark. She hadn’t woken from a nightmare in a few days. She still didn’t feel completely safe, but you couldn’t have everything.

  Her cell phone sat on the dresser. Lately, her gut churned every time it buzzed. Laurence wasn’t quitting. He kept texting, leaving voice mails. Baiting her.

  She’d almost ignored the call from earlier, thinking it was him again. Then she saw Mia’s number and picked up. Funny how the surly teen had somehow managed to work her way into Liz’s life. But they shared common ground, although Mia didn’t know it.

  Liz understood her fears, her struggles to be liked and accepted, even understood her nigh
tmares. And to her surprise, she’d actually come to care for the girl. Not so long ago, she wouldn’t have given her a second glance. Would have written her off as trouble and steered clear. She wouldn’t have looked beyond the makeup and the fashion choices and the attitude. Wouldn’t have seen the talented young woman hiding beneath it all, just waiting for someone to unlock the chains that held her prisoner.

  Liz still had a few chains of her own clanging along behind her.

  She pressed her palms down on her dresser and blew out a breath. “What am I doing?” Times like these she missed the dogs. At least she could talk to them without coming off as crazy. What had she been thinking, agreeing to go out for pizza with Matthew? He’d said Mia was going to ask her friend Chris Cooper to come along. But wouldn’t that make it a date? A double date?

  Is that was this was? Oh, Lordy. And hadn’t she just told the man she wasn’t about to go out with anyone or get into another relationship? He’d seemed to understand. So maybe this really was only a couple of friends chaperoning the kids and enjoying some pizza together.

  She threw on a gray cashmere sweater over her white blouse and skinny jeans. Heels or no heels? Or maybe boots. It was cold enough. A moment later she’d grabbed her purse and jacket and pulled on leather gloves. Liz locked up, took a final deep breath, and walked across the courtyard to the main house. As she was about to head up the back steps, the door opened and Matthew appeared, jangling a set of keys.

  “Right on time.” He hopped down the steps, looking sharp in a thick navy cable-knit, skinny jeans, and brown Oxfords, a faded leather jacket slung over one arm. “We can take my Jeep, unless you wanted to drive.” His smile was a tad too cheery.

  “No, I figured you would.” Liz stepped back a bit and caught a snatch of woodsy cologne. “Where are the kids?”

  “Ah.” He gave a half-smile, a feeble laugh tagging behind. “Funny thing.”

  “Don’t even tell me.” Liz gripped the strap of her purse.

  Matthew held up a hand with a look of chagrin. “She’s babysitting. Said she forgot.”

  Liz stared. Opened her mouth to speak and shut it again. “You’d better be kidding.”

  “Sorry. No. It’s uh . . . just the two of us.”

  “Or not.” Liz turned on her heel and he caught her by the hand.

  “See, I figured that’d be your reaction. But listen. You have to eat. So do I. We can go get a pizza together, Elizabeth. I promise not to propose until dessert.”

  She almost smiled. “This was a total set-up?” Of course it was. And she was no longer having warm and fuzzy thoughts about Mia Stone.

  “So it would seem. Sorry about that.” He chucked his keys from one hand to the other. “If you’re up for it, I could really use the company. It was kind of a rough afternoon.”

  Liz assessed the unease on his face, the worry lines on his forehead, and the slight hint of hope in his eyes. “I could use the company too.” She tossed him a small smile and headed toward his Jeep.

  Later that evening, surrounded by amazing aromas, she was pleased she’d agreed. “I can’t remember the last time I had pizza.” Liz looked at the large pan of cheesy goodness just placed in front of them, wanting to dive right in.

  Matthew served her two slices. “No pizza in New York?”

  “Oh, of course. Very good pizza. But I never ate it. We usually hit the high-end restaurants. You know, the kind where food is art and the servings are small and . . .” Liz smiled at the look on his face. “You have no idea what I’m talking about.”

  “It’s been a few years since I ate in a fancy restaurant.” He waggled a brow and took a big bite, mozzarella dripping off the pizza onto his chin. “But this has to be better. Right?”

  “Definitely.” She enjoyed a few bites in companionable silence.

  “Did you like living in New York?”

  Did she? Good question. “I thought I did. I really enjoyed my job at the beginning. But it was high pressure. The company I worked for dealt with a lot of massively wealthy clients. I was always terrified I’d be the one to make the mistake that would bring the whole place crashing down.”

  “That’s no way to live is it?” His question was gentle, not judging, and garnered a smile.

  “I suppose not. I did like the hum of the city though. But now that I’m here, I think there’s something to be said for peace and quiet and the sound of the sea. Laurence always called me an island girl.”

  “Your ex?”

  “That would be him.” She thought about the cellphone in her purse and wondered how many messages she’d see by the time the night was over.

  “Heard from him lately?”

  Liz wrestled with telling the truth as he poured more wine into their glasses. “He’s been pretty relentless. I haven’t talked to him, but the thing is . . . he’s got something of mine I want back.” Her head screamed at her to stop. “I mean, money I invested with him. I’d like to get that cash back. It’s a significant amount.”

  “That won’t be easy. Can you go to court?”

  She shook her head. “It sounds simple enough, but no. Trust me, he’s not a man you want to cross.”

  “I’m sorry.” His sincere words wrapped around her and made her feel a little better.

  “I’ll figure it out.” The cozy restaurant was half empty. Most were this time of year. Her mother always bemoaned the winter. Too boring; all the fun people were back on the mainland. But her father relished it, holing up for hours in his studio, creating his masterpieces. Mom would leave sometimes. Travel off on her own someplace. Or maybe she wasn’t alone. That wasn’t out of the question, given what they knew now.

  “You okay?” Matthew studied her in concern. “You disappeared for a second there.”

  Liz pushed off the past and took a sip of the rich cabernet he’d ordered. “I was thinking things are never as they seem. Not really.”

  He helped himself to the Caesar salad and offered the wooden bowl to her. “How do you mean?”

  Liz swallowed sorrow that still came when she thought of the past summer’s events. “I always envisioned my parents as the ultimate happy couple, you know? I mean, they had their issues, but they always seemed so content together. Then when I was about twelve, I guess, everything changed.”

  “They weren’t so happy anymore?” His clear gaze made her want to tell him the whole story. So she did. Beginning with her father's slow descent into alcoholism, her mother's untimely death, ending with the revelations last summer had brought.

  The wine was finished, the pizza long gone, and the salad bowl scraped clean. And her soul bared. Liz sat back and dabbed her lips with a napkin. “So there you have it. My ideal family wasn’t so idyllic after all. Shocked?”

  “Not especially.” Matthew spun his glass, running a finger around the rim. “I’m not sure any family is perfect, Elizabeth. I’m sorry your mother had an affair though, sorry you found out the way you did.”

  They had found their mother’s diary this past summer, and the revelations it held had changed all of them. But in a way, she realized having to deal with the past had also brought her siblings closer together. “It’s strange,” she mused. “As jaded as I am, as unhappy as I knew she was in her last years, I never went there. Never thought she would cheat on my father. And I certainly wouldn’t have imagined it would be with a man like Anthony Cooper.”

  “It must have been awful for all of you.”

  “Yes. Nick. Lynnie especially, blocking it all out for so long. But we have to move on, don’t we? No amount of moping will change the past.”

  “I guess that’s true.” He released a sigh and shook his head. “Speaking of the Coopers, I think Mia might be interested in being more than friends with the Cooper boy. Nick’s cousin. Chris? I’m not sure I’m ready for this part of the parenting package.”

  Liz laughed at his anxious expression. “I did pick up on that. He tends to hang outside the gallery right around the time Mia heads out. I’m sure he’s a g
ood kid. I don’t know him personally, of course. But I can talk to Nick if you like. Put out a few feelers.”

  He widened his eyes. “Only if you can do it on the sly. Mia already hates my guts at the moment. Finding out I was snooping would just seal the deal.”

  “She does not hate your guts, Matthew. She’s a teenager with issues. It’s not going to be like riding the teacups with her.”

  “No. More like The Tower of Terror.” He ran a hand down his face. “So I talked to her. Today. About the cutting.”

  Their waiter chose that moment to interrupt, so they ordered coffee, no dessert. Liz sat forward. “What did she say?”

  “Denied it. She was pretty hostile, like she couldn’t believe I’d even ask such a thing.”

  “Did you ask to see her arms?”

  He sat back with a pained expression. “Thought about it. But I couldn’t bring myself to do it.”

  Liz nodded and took a moment to consider her reply. “But you think she is. I can see it all over your face.”

  “Yeah. I think she is. But I did get her to agree to see somebody. Well, I kind of bribed her.” He chuckled and fell silent as their coffee arrived.

  “This I can’t wait to hear.” Liz stirred sweetener into her coffee and passed on the cream.

  “I told her she could get her learner’s if she agreed to see a therapist.” He tugged at his collar with a grim smile. “It wasn’t one of my finer moments.”

  “Hey, if it worked.” Liz shrugged. In her old world, a little bribery now and again got the job done. “I’ve been thinking about going back to counseling myself. Seems I still have some unresolved issues.”

  He smiled, no judgment. “Maybe I should sign up too.”

  They shared a laugh and Liz finished her coffee. “I have to admit, your niece has grown on me. I think she’s got a good heart. Once she figures out how to deal with her pain in other ways, I have a feeling she’ll be all right.”

  “She does seem to be resilient, I’ll give her that.” He paid the bill and stood. “There. That wasn’t too painful was it?”