He looked through the hospital windows to Josh standing outside. Indecision played out on his face. Fuck, I knew he didn’t want to go. None of them would want to. Carly was their sister-in-law, and she was pregnant with their nephew. Of course, they wouldn’t want to leave Josh.
“I can go,” I finally said, surprising even myself.
“You don’t have to do that,” Will spoke up. “I can go. This doesn’t concern you.”
Hell, I must be the biggest asshole around if I was offering to go in place of them and they didn’t think I should do it because it was none of my concern. If it wasn’t clear before how big of a jerk I was to all of them, I knew it now. You could hang a neon sign over my head with arrow pointing at me saying World’s Biggest Asshole.
“Look, he’s your brother and you shouldn’t leave him.”
“Christ, Jack,” Will shook his head. “Do you really think we’d let you go see the man that had a part to play in all the shit that went down with Natalie?”
I stood there for a moment, staring at Will in surprise. I thought for sure he was pissed at me for getting involved, but once again I was wrong. He was trying to protect me.
“I appreciate that,” I said, my voice full of sincerity, “but you should stay here with your brother. I’ll go get Antonio and make sure he knows what’s going on.”
He gave me a tight nod and I headed for the door, passing Josh on my way out. He still looked lost in thought as Charlie stood with him. I shouldn’t have yelled at him the way I did. People said stupid shit all the time when they were scared. Once he had a chance to really think about everything, he would probably agree that she shouldn’t have her license. I needed to stop losing my shit on people all the time.
I didn’t even get out of the parking lot when my phone rang. Looking at it, I sighed. Eric was calling me, probably to check on me because that’s the type of guy he was, always checking on everyone else.
“Yeah?”
“Why the hell are you driving out to see Antonio?”
I rolled my eyes, even though he couldn’t see me. “Because it’s my job.”
“It’s not your job to go see a man that we both know you can’t stand.”
“Well, it wouldn’t have been right for one of you to leave. You should be with Josh.”
He huffed in irritation. “We’re waiting on the doctors. We can’t do anything anyway.”
“No, but you can be there for him.”
“Why are you so hell-bent on doing this? And why were you even at the hospital? I thought you were pissed at Josh.”
“Call it a change of heart,” I muttered.
“No, you don’t get to do that. You’ve been harassing all of us since Natalie’s death. You don’t suddenly just change over night.”
“It wasn’t overnight, okay?” I snapped. “Carter said something to me about hurting Brody with my anger.”
It was quiet for a moment on the other end. “I don’t know what to say.”
“There’s nothing for you to say. You didn’t do this. It’s all on me. I took it out on all of you because I was hurting. I’m not saying it’s a good excuse, but—”
“I know,” he said quickly. “Why do you think we all let you drag us down to the station and give us all those bullshit tickets?”
“Hey, jaywalking is illegal,” I said in my defense.
“Right, Jack. And you give tickets to everyone that jaywalks in town.”
“Well, now I’m going to have to so it doesn’t look like favoritism.”
“If it was favoritism, you would be giving them to everyone else and not us.”
I sighed heavily. “Are you going to give me shit about this for the rest of my life?”
“Well, I’m the good brother, so probably not. I can’t speak for the rest of them, though.”
I chuckled slightly, already feeling better about the whole thing.
“So, why are you really doing this?”
“Because Carter was right. I need to put this shit behind me.”
“Yeah, but I’m pretty sure he didn’t mean for you to rush out and do it all in one day.”
“If not today, then when? Besides, it’s my job.”
“And you don’t need that kind of shit in your head,” he snapped. “One of us should be going to see Antonio. He’s only going to dredge up the past.”
“And that wouldn’t happen otherwise?”
“Of course not, but it doesn’t have to be today, and not because of this.”
“I’m the sheriff in this county. It doesn’t matter what the reason, I still need to be able to interact with the people in this town.”
“And you also have a deputy-sheriff, which would be Corduroy. He’s perfectly capable of telling Antonio.”
“I’m not going to argue about this,” I sighed. “Look…this guy is everything I despise. He’s a horrible person that comes from an even worse family. There is absolutely nothing about him that I find redeemable.”
“You’re making a great case here,” he said drolly.
“But…as much as I hate him, I hate myself even more for not being able to deal with him. I’ve let Natalie’s death affect every part of my life. I’ve treated your family like shit because I didn’t know how else to cope. I need to know that I can do my job, even if it is with someone I hate. In fact, even more so because of my hatred for him. If I can’t do something as simple as going to tell him about his sister, how can I do my job in this town?”
I heard his heavy sigh over the phone, but he didn’t argue anymore. He knew I was right. In this job, I couldn’t be biased toward Antonio. If he did something to fuck up, I would haul his ass in, but until that happened, I had to treat him like everyone else.
“I know things have been tense, but if you need me, I’ve got your back.” I nodded, even though he couldn’t see me. “I mean, I’ll call Corduroy to have your back, because I’m pretty sure I would piss my pants if I had to fight Antonio.”
I laughed at that. “I know, and I appreciate that. I’ll see you later.”
“Call me if you need backup.”
I shook my head as I pulled up in front of Antonio’s house. For just a moment, I felt like I used to. There was banter and friendship…it was normal. It felt good, which made me feel bad, because it felt like I was moving on without Natalie. Deep down, I knew I had to. I couldn’t continue to hurt my son. Not to mention that I needed to be sure the town had faith in me. Whatever happened from here on out, I had a job to do, and it was time to see if I could handle it.
4
Antonio
“I’ve had calls every day for stray animals that need a home,” Jo said, rushing after me as I walked around the new animal shelter that was still being built. I didn’t like it. I mean, there was a cat that was pretty cute, and I had been debating bringing it home, just so it didn’t have to be around all the other flea traps sitting around the damn barn, but I already had two dogs.
“What about the spa center?” I asked, ignoring her comment.
“I think getting the shelter up and running first is more important than a spa center,” Jo responded with a little snark.
I spun on her, infusing as much anger into my voice as possible. “I think since this is my property, my building, my fucking money, that I should get the say in what project gets completed first.”
She rolled her eyes at me. “Yeah, tough guy. Keep trying to scare me. It’s not going to work.”
I hated that she was right. I would give anything for people to be terrified of me again, just so they would leave me the fuck alone.
“Look, I get that you want the spa area done, but you can just as easily do that in your bathtub.”
“You want me to clean my own dog?” I asked incredulously. “There’s a reason I kept you around.”
“Sure, it had everything to do with taking care of your dogs, and nothing to do with you trying to protect me from the psychos that were following you around.”
“This is my property,” I
argued. “I don’t want people showing up at random times to look at pets.”
“Well, that’s what an animal sanctuary is for. And don’t pretend like you’re really against this. If you were, you wouldn’t have allowed me to live in the mother-in-law house—”
“You were homeless.”
“Or to build the sanctuary on your property—”
“Like I really had a choice in the matter,” I muttered.
“And you definitely wouldn’t be eyeing that cat like you’re ready to take her home.”
I stared at the little yellow fluff ball and told myself I didn’t need her. But then she jumped at the cage, her claws coming out as she tried to attack me as if I was standing right beside her. I grinned, loving her feistiness. She was like my animal counterpart, if those existed. Deciding I had to have her, I opened the cage and snatched her up in my arms, grimacing when she dug her claws in.
“Fine, take your damn time building your shelter, but the cat stays with me until you’re finished.”
Jo snorted. “Yeah, like you’re really going to bring her back.”
I glared at her and stomped out of the shelter, all the while scratching my new cat under the chin. I must be going fucking insane, bringing another animal into my house. But it was big enough and Princess and Max would enjoy the competition, and I had a feeling this little one would too.
The construction around the property was driving me crazy. I missed the silence of my mountain and the knowledge that no one would just stop by unannounced. Since we arrived and bought the house, I’d made sure every room had at least one hidden weapon. I couldn’t take the chance ever again that someone would show up to kill me and I wouldn’t be prepared.
As for Ciara’s father, I had been watching him since our little chat. He’d stuck to his end of the deal so far. We all knew that what I had on him would pretty much cause him hell if it ever got out. But keeping tabs on his moves was expensive. I wasn’t inside anymore, so I had to find other ways to keep track of his movements. One way was blackmailing one of his soldiers. It didn’t take much to find out who wasn’t completely loyal to Kieran O’ Sullivan. There had been growing hostility in the ranks for some time. Kieran had made some bad choices in the last few years, and now his people didn’t trust him quite as much as they used to. Having that knowledge, I used it as leverage against someone who’d made some very bad decisions and also had a good understanding of how Kieran operated. It wasn’t fool-proof, but it was the best I had at the moment.
I opened the screen door on the back porch and stepped inside, groaning when I smelled whatever Ciara was making. Since becoming “domesticated”, she’d taken to learning to cook and bake, something she already wasn’t half bad at, but now could enter cooking competitions.
“What is that smell?” I asked, wiping off my boots before I stepped into the kitchen.
She smiled at me as she turned, then laughed when she saw the kitten in my hands. “You just couldn’t resist, could you?”
“It’s temporary.”
“Uh-huh.”
“I’m holding the kitten hostage until Jo finishes my spa.”
She quirked an eyebrow at me and grinned. “You’re holding a kitten hostage until your doggy spa is complete?” She nodded slightly, the knowing look she was giving me said she didn’t believe me for one damn minute. “Looks like I won.”
“What are you talking about?”
“Jo and I had a bet to see how long it would take you to get the cat. I said you would have the kitten by Friday, but Jo thought you would hold out longer.”
“You were betting on me?”
“Oh, don’t be sour about it. It’s a good look on you. The cat, I mean.”
My phone vibrated on the table, but I ignored it. I tended to ignore most people whenever I could.
“Whatever. The cat was stuck in a cage. I’m just giving it someplace to run around.”
“Well, did you expect Jo to let the animals run around while construction is going on?”
“No, but that doesn’t mean I have to sit around and watch it.”
The phone vibrated again.
“Aren’t you going to get that?” Ciara asked. “It’s been going off all morning.”
“Yeah, precisely why I didn’t have a phone up in the mountains. If I wanted to talk to people, I would.”
“So, you’re ignoring whoever it is out of spite.”
“No, out of principle. If I answered every phone call that came in, I’d never have any time for you.”
“Right,” she snorted. “Everyone wants to talk to you.”
“When I was in charge of the Family, I always had my phone on me. The damn thing was attached to my hip. Even during sex—”
She held up her hand to stop me. “I get the point.”
“So, up on my mountain, I didn’t have to talk to anyone, and at first it was weird, but it grew on me. I liked the silence. Now we’re back here and people are calling me constantly.”
“Well, maybe they like you.”
“They don’t like me,” I reassured her. “You know, Joe, Josh’s brother, called me the other day to ask if I wanted to join his little biker gang?”
“He’s in a gang?”
I rolled my eyes. “They’re the least criminal people I’ve ever met. They do good shit for the community and stuff.”
“And he wanted you to join, why?”
“Beats the fuck out of me.”
She grinned slightly. “He wants your contact with Jo. She runs the animal shelter, and you pay for it. There’s your answer.”
My jaw dropped. “They’re using me for my animals?”
“For Jo’s animals.”
“They’re on my property,” I grumbled.
I set the kitten down to explore, then went to the cabinet where the dog food was kept. When I opened it, a bag of kitten food was already waiting for me. I pulled it out and turned to Ciara, who was trying to hide her grin.
“You already bought the damn food?”
“What? Oh, come on. You stare at that kitten every time we go to the barn. And don’t think I don’t know about you sneaking out there to see her.”
“You know about that? How—”
“I installed cameras out there. For our safety, of course.”
“Of course.”
“And I review the footage every day, just to make sure none of my father’s goons are coming after us.”
“And you just happened to have the cameras trained on the animals.”
“For their safety,” she amended my statement. “If someone gets in there, we need to know about it.”
“So, you thought your father would send his men after us to hit us where it really hurts, with the animals.”
“He can be a ruthless bastard,” she grinned.
I pulled her into my arms and kissed her, wincing when the cat started climbing my leg. “Goddamnit!” I shouted, trying to fling the kitten off me, but she had her claws in deep.
Ciara pulled her off my leg, rubbing her face against the cats. “Oh, you’re just a precious little thing, aren’t you?”
“That precious little thing just nearly dug a hole in my leg.”
“She wouldn’t hurt a fly, would you?” she asked the kitten.
I snatched the kitten out of her hands and held her up against my cheek, listening to her purr. “Precious or not, she’s not yours to snuggle with.”
“Well, isn’t this cozy? Two criminals cozying up in the kitchen over some good food and fluffy, innocent animals.”
I turned and scowled at the sheriff, Jack Harding, who was standing on the other side of the screen door. Princess came into the room, growling as he heard him outside. At least he had good instincts.
“What the fuck do you want, Harding?”
He glared at the dog and then looked back at me. “You want to call off the guard dog…that’s wearing a sparkly collar?”
“I didn’t choose it,” I muttered.
“Eith
er way, call off the damn dog.”
I crossed my arms over my chest and glared at him. “No.”
“I need to talk to you.”
“Well, I don’t want to talk to you. Go away.”
I turned to walk away, but he shouted, “It’s about Carly.”
“What about her?” I asked, turning back around.
“She had a seizure this morning. She’s in the hospital.”
I narrowed my eyes at him. “Yeah, and they sent you to come give me the news? What are you really doing here?”
“I came because you wouldn’t pick up your damn phone. And call me crazy, but I thought it would be wrong to drag Josh’s brothers away from him when he’s waiting in the hospital to hear about his wife and unborn child.”
I looked for any sign that he was lying to me, but I couldn’t find it. If this was real, if Carly really had a seizure, then something was seriously wrong. Ciara walked up to me, sliding her hand in mine and giving it a squeeze.
“Is she okay?” I finally asked.
“For now. They have to run tests to find out what happened. The baby is fine.”
My head dropped almost involuntarily as I closed my eyes and fought off the panic. Carly was my last remaining family member, and instead of instantly being worried about her, I was trying to find the trap. God, I was a piss-poor brother. I shouldn’t have come back here. I shouldn’t have stayed when she asked. I should have stuck with my instincts and walked away. She would have been better off.
“Do you need a ride?” the sheriff asked, a bitter sound coming from his mouth.
“No,” I croaked out. “Ciara can drive.”
“She’s going to be okay,” Ciara reassured me as we headed to the hospital.
“I know.”
I stared out the window, angry with myself for being so fucking stupid. I was still thinking like I was in the mafia, but this town was nothing like being in the mafia. Not everyone was out to get me, and despite the fact that the sheriff hated me, he still came out to tell me that Carly was in the hospital. He wasn’t the prick, I was.
“Antonio, talk to me.”
“What the fuck do you want me to say?”
Drawing Dead: A Small Town Romance (A Good Run Of Bad Luck) Page 3