When I had my pants fastened, I finally let myself really look in the mirror. My hair was sticking up at crazy angles, my cheeks were bright pink, and my lower lip was puffy from where I’d bitten it again and again as I’d done my best not to be too loud. Had Lucien’s assistant and the others in the office heard me? Did they know what he’d done? I didn’t think he’d be shy about staking his claim on me.
I own you.
How the fuck had I gotten myself into this, and what could I do about him expecting me back tomorrow?
When I fuck you for the first time, it’s going to be somewhere private.
Was there any chance I could get away from him? Anything I could say to change his mind?
Not after the way I’d responded to him this morning. I certainly couldn’t convince him I didn’t want him because I did. My body did at least, but I was afraid of him—of his power, of his ability to just take over my life and make demands. He hadn’t hesitated to spank me until my ass burned. What else would he do to me if I disobeyed?
He’d mentioned his belt and a cane. That sounded scary as fuck.
My instincts told me he hadn’t lied when he said he’d never damage me and that he wouldn’t force me to do anything I didn’t want. I would never have asked for him to spank me, but I’d enjoyed every second of it.
I didn’t belong in this world, though. I belonged somewhere I could live a quiet life, a place where I didn’t have to confront my fears, where no one expected anything more than adequacy from me.
I pressed the heels of my hands to my eyes. I would not cry. I might not be strong. I might not be brave. But somehow I was going to walk out there, sit behind my desk, and make Lucien proud. In that moment, pleasing him was what I wanted. Maybe it was time to stop just surviving and enjoy myself. Or maybe I’d end up discarded by him and dead in a ditch. For now at least, I didn’t have a choice but to obey him.
6
Lucien
Carla attempted to get my attention when I left my office, but I walked right past her. I pushed open my brother’s office door, not in the mood to knock. He glanced up from where he was working or more likely pretending to work. “Lucien, what the fuck?”
I didn’t answer. I just stepped into his bathroom and shut the door. I needed to wash the scent of Peter off my hands. Obviously, I could’ve used my own bathroom, but I needed to get away from him before my resolve broke. If I’d stayed one more minute, if I’d taken Peter into the bathroom to clean him up myself, I would’ve fucked him no matter who was around. I told him I’d honed my control, and that was true. My life demanded it. But something about him was pushing me to my limits. I turned on the cold water and stuck my hands under it, needing to feel something that wasn’t the heat of my desire for that gorgeous boy. The way he looked as he came, the ecstasy on his face…. It had been years since I’d come in my pants, but I’d been fucking close then.
“Lucien!” Angelo banged on the door. “What the fuck are you doing?”
“Using your fucking bathroom, moron. Back off.”
By the time I stepped out into my brother’s office, my hard-on was gone, and my control was fully back in place. “It’s time for our meeting. Let’s go.”
“Why are you in here?” Angelo asked. “And why the fuck didn’t you knock?”
“I own this building. I don’t have to knock.”
“Don’t try that imperious shit with me.”
“That’s a big word for you. Better be careful how you throw that around.”
He flipped me off. “What was wrong with your bathroom?”
“I needed a change of scenery.”
Angelo grinned. “You got that little twink in there? The new receptionist? What did you do? Fuck him until he passed out, then leave the scene of the crime?”
I grabbed the front of Angelo’s shirt and slammed him against the wall. “Don’t ever speak about Peter like that again. In fact, don’t speak about him at all.”
Angelo raised his brows. “Damn. I’ve never seen you like this over a man.”
“I want this one to myself.”
Angelo whistled, and I’d never regretted more how impossible it was for me to intimidate him or how easily he read me. He was right. This wasn’t normal for me. I rarely felt possessive of the men I fucked, and I rarely had the same man twice. I wasn’t sure why Peter was different, and that made me uneasy. I didn’t want to talk about this, not even with Angelo.
“Don’t push me on this, Angelo.”
He must’ve seen something in my expression that made him realize how serious I was.
He brought up a hand and cupped my face. “If you need to talk, you tell me, okay?”
I nodded. “I’m good.”
“Stay that way.”
I let him go and stepped back. “We’re late, and I need you to behave in there.”
Angelo grinned. “Always.”
“Liar.” He fucking never acted like he took anything seriously. I knew better. He was listening, absorbing everything that was said even as he joked around until everyone was ready to kill him.
Everyone else was already there when we arrived: Devil, Vincent Trevisani, the son of one of my father’s closest allies, Vinnie was slowly taking control of the family, but this was the first time I’d worked with him directly.
We’d also invited Stefan Romano, another member of an allied family. He was Angelo’s age, but he’d often hung out with me and his older brother, Ash, which had been awkward since Ash and I were a hell of a lot more than friends though very much in the closet.
Next to him at the table was Marco Ricci, Damian’s estranged nephew. I had serious reservations about trusting him. He’d argued with his uncle years ago, thinking their business should go a new direction. After being disowned, he’d set himself up as a fence, and we’d worked with him occasionally. He came to me asking to help take down his uncle, but a few days ago, Stefan had heard a rumor that Marco had been sniffing around his uncle again trying to make amends. Maybe he just wanted info or maybe he wanted to bring us down. I was watching him, but I had every intention of using him to get the information we needed.
Devil had also insisted we include a couple of men he liked to use for muscle who’d worked for the Riccis and been screwed over. The Riccis still owed them for a big job they’d never paid up on.
I unbuttoned my coat and took a seat at the head of the table. “All right, gentlemen, as you know, we’re here because word on the street has it that Damian Ricci is gearing up to make a move on my territory. He’s been putting out feelers, gathering allies, talking to some of our suppliers, and making promises to some of those under our protection. I intend to put a stop to it before it goes any further. I’ve already sent someone to talk to him, but he’s not a man to see reason, so this is likely to turn ugly. Needless to say, I expect your loyalty and obedience.” I glanced around the table stopping when my gaze met Marco’s. “Is that going to be a problem?”
“I don’t like your insinuation, Marchesi.”
“I don’t like the fact that I don’t know if I can trust you.”
“My jackass of an uncle disinherited me five years ago. I ain’t talked to him since. What gives you reason to doubt that?”
“I never trust anyone until they prove their loyalty to me.”
Marco’s expression hardened, but eventually he inclined his head toward me. “I intend to prove it.”
I looked at Vinnie and Stefan next. “You’ve worked with the Riccis before. I need your word that you’re all in with me now.”
“My family and I are behind you on this,” Vinnie assured me. Stefan did the same.
I looked at the two men Devil had brought in. The taller one, who I only knew as Six, responded. “Anything Muffin and I can do to send Ricci straight to hell, I want in on it.”
“I need more than that. I need to know you’re going to follow my orders, and that you understand if you don’t, there will be consequences. Serious consequences.”
“You tell me and my cousin”—he punched the other man’s shoulder—“where to go, and we’ll go there, get the job done, and enjoy it. You got my word on that.”
“I’m glad to be able to provide you with some entertainment.”
They just smiled. I glanced at Devil, and he winked. I knew he was telling me he’d keep them in line. I trusted him to do that as much as I trusted him in anything. His loyalty was unquestionable. His ability to follow orders and agree to a plan, not so much. He’d always been a wildcard, but he was family. Over the last few years, I’d seen some of his impulsive decisions win big for us, so I’d learned to create a fuckload of contingency plans.
“Were taking this threat seriously. You wouldn’t be here otherwise, but I’m not making a move now unless things escalate. So far, all I’ve got are a lot of rumors. I need names. I need those who were talking to the Riccis. I need the names of their wives, their girlfriends, their kids, their dogs. I want to know everything about them so when it’s time to make a move, we know how to hit them where they’re most vulnerable.”
Angelo and Devil had wanted to make a preemptive strike, so I’d called my father to discuss my plan, and he’d given his approval. I fought the urge to smile at the memory of our conversation. I liked to make him proud. Yes, he was a hard man. Few dared to cross him, and he’d made me sorry for doing so plenty of times as a kid. But I’d always known he loved me.
When I’d come out as gay, he’d initially ranted and raved and told me how fucking inconvenient and embarrassing it was that I needed to stick my dick in some man’s ass. But after one quelling look from my mother, he’d told me that while he didn’t like it, nobody was going to mess with me. He’d dared anyone to say a word against me. The first man who had done so in my father’s presence had gotten a bullet to the knee. After that, people kept their thoughts to themselves. That made it a hell of a lot easier for Angelo and Devil to let everyone know they were bi. I doubted Devil would’ve cared, but Angelo wanted our father’s approval as much as I did.
“When we make a move against them, I want to keep them guessing. We’ll go after their weakest allies first. I want to make Ricci sweat. We’ll work from the bottom up until we have Ricci in a stranglehold. I want him stripped of everything, his money, his power, his friends. I want him on his knees, ready to beg me for mercy. He’s mine. Am I clear about that?”
“Yes sir,” Vinnie said.
I looked to Stefan next. “Very clear, sir.”
“Are you sure they’re going to move slow with this?” Marco asked. I already didn’t like his lack of team spirit. I was almost hoping I found out he did still have family connections because that would give me an excuse to make sure I never had to work with him again. But I knew better than to start trouble when there was no need. Once a guy started going out looking for trouble, more of it came to him. I’d seen more than one family lose their footing because they thought they had to start a fight over everything. That’s how you got yourself overextended.
“Let me repeat this for you once more and maybe this time listen and act like you got a brain cell left in your head. I’m running this show. You work for me. You do what I say. If you’ve got concrete intel you want to share or if you’ve got reason to believe your family’s making a move, then I expect you to bring that to the table, but if all you’ve got are opinions, that’s no good. The only opinion that counts here is mine.”
“Yes, sir. I’ll get you the intel you need.” I could tell he was working hard to keep his expression neutral.
“See that you do and that no one finds out what you’re up to.”
“I know how to keep secrets, sir.” The last word came out through gritted teeth.
“I hope to hell you do.” I turned to Six and Muffin.
“We’re on it, boss.”
“Excellent.”
“Don’t they get questioned?” Marco asked, looking toward Angelo and Devil.
“Are you suggesting my brother and my cousin aren’t loyal to me?”
Devil slapped his hands on the table and stood. “You don’t want to go there, Marco. I don’t fucking care what anybody says about me, but you talk shit about Angel, and I’ll be up in your face. You got that?”
Marco held up his hands. “Fine. I just thought we should all check in.”
“What did I tell you about thinking?” I asked.
“You want me to remind him, Luce?” Devil asked. I saw the spark of excitement in his eyes. It had been too long since he’d gotten himself in trouble, and he was spoiling for a fight.
I held Marco’s gaze. It took a few seconds, but he dropped his eyes to the table and said, “Forgive me, sir. I don’t do good with having my loyalty questioned.”
“This is your last chance, Ricci.”
“Yes, sir.”
I surveyed all the men in the room. “Does anyone else have any questions?”
No one said anything. “Then I’m done here. I’ve got a client coming in soon. Angelo will give you each a set of targets and talk through the rest of the details.”
I needed to meet with the contractor who was finishing up the final touches on DiGiulio’s, the restaurant I was opening soon. It was the first project I’d taken on that was solely for me, and I was determined to have everything perfect. Leaving the meeting early also gave me the chance to give Angelo more responsibility. I’d always known I’d be the one who took over for our father, but I wanted Angelo to feel like our empire was his too. He needed to know I trusted him with the serious stuff.
As I walked out, I laid a hand on Devil’s shoulder. He turned and glanced at me. I didn’t need to say anything. I just gave him a look he knew meant that I was counting on him to keep himself in check so I didn’t have to manage him while I was managing the rest of this.
He lifted his chin toward me. “You got it, boss.”
I smiled at him, shaking my head as I walked out of the room.
I had more time than I’d let on before my next meeting, but I had business to attend to that I didn’t want to mention to anyone yet.
“In my office,” I said as I passed Carla’s desk.
“So you’re talking to me now?”
I didn’t bother to respond to that. She closed the door to my office behind her and took a seat in front of my desk. “Are you all right?”
“I’m fine. I have some things I need you to do. This is top priority.”
“First, about Peter—”
I’d known she’d want to interrogate me. “We’re not talking about him.”
“He’s shaken, but he’s doing an excellent job. I showed him the appointment calendar and how to work the phone system. Then I gave him a few things to do for me. I thought it would be better for him to be busy.”
I closed my eyes and drew in a breath. I trusted Carla implicitly, but I hated that she sensed any weakness in me. “Thank you.”
“One other thing. He’ll need a salary offer and a contract if he’s going to be a legitimate employee.”
“He’s working off Jimmy’s debt, so make up a number and be generous with his benefits.”
“How quickly do you want the debt paid off?”
I considered that. I would provide Peter with everything he needed, but I didn’t want this debt hanging between us for too long. “Six months.”
Carla’s eyes widened. “Doesn’t Jimmy owe over a hundred thousand?”
“Yes.”
“Wow. He must be… skilled.”
“Don’t.” I snarled. “He’s to be treated with respect.”
She started to speak, and I held up my hand. “I know I’ve permitted you to be frank with me, but this is something you need to keep your mouth closed about.”
“Yes, sir,” she snapped, making very clear how pissed off she was.
“Carla, please.”
“All right. Since you said the magic word, but don’t hurt that boy. I think he’s actually as sweet as he seems.”
I should send him away, fi
nd him a job somewhere safe and secure where I wouldn’t run into him again. But I wasn’t going to do that, at least not until I’d taken everything I wanted from him. I was selfish and used to getting what I wanted, and he was too fucking delectable for me to let him walk away.
“You said you had some high priority tasks for me?”
I nodded, thankful she was dropping the subject.
“Does it have to do with the meeting? It sounded like things got tense in there.”
“When are they not?”
She smiled. “Never, but you don’t always bring people here whose loyalty is in question.”
Carla didn’t like the vibe she got from Marco. I couldn’t say I blamed her. The man was a sleaze. I wouldn’t let him near any women under my protection. As far as I knew, he was one hundred percent straight, but if he even looked at Peter, I’d cut his eyes out. I didn’t care what alliance I fucked up.
“Peter’s apartment is unsafe and unsightly, and while he’s working off his cousin’s debt he won’t be able to pay the rent. I’m moving him to my house.”
She studied me for a moment, then simply said, “Yes, sir” as she typed something on her tablet. “See how I’m not making commentary?”
“You know I’ve shot men for less backtalk than you give me.”
“They don’t make your life run smoothly.”
She had me there. “Things are heating up with the Ricci situation. I don’t want Peter caught in the crossfire.”
“Of course you don’t.” I didn’t like the knowing look she gave me, but I let it go. “I assume you need me to arrange to have his things brought to your house.”
“Yes. But more importantly, he needs new clothes, shoes, toiletries, anything else that would make him comfortable. And a room needs to be readied for him.”
She frowned. “He needs a room of his own?”
“According to Virginia Woolf, yes.”
Lucien Page 4