by Leah Atwood
Janie pressed a hand against her warm cheek and caught a glimpse of the deep red blush on them through the mirror. “Yes.”
“For what it’s worth, I’ve seen the way you look at each other and think there’s something there worth exploring.” Kate put a hand on the door, about to get out. “My advice—enjoy your last day here, but when you get back to North Carolina, don’t waste time having that conversation.”
“I will.” Needing a change of subject, she nodded toward the building. “And I’ll enjoy my last day by getting a manicure and getting these nails back in shape.”
Chapter Ten
The New Year’s Eve party at Luke and Kate’s house had been a last-minute decision when they found out for sure that Bryce and Sophie would be in town. Janie had nothing to wear and had stopped at one of Kate’s favorite boutiques after their spa time.
Sticking closely to Kate’s impeccable style suggestions, Janie had left the store with an off-the-shoulder boho top and trendy jacket that she could wear with a pair of jeans she’d brought with her. A new pair of cognac-colored leather slouch boots completed the outfit.
Back at Evan’s parents, her reflection in the mirror pleased her. She’d lived in jeans and t-shirt far too long. Okay, okay, I’ve lived in sweats and flannel pajamas far too long. Not that she planned to give up her basic denim and cotton attire—there was much to be said for comfort—but she enjoyed the touch of style that stared back at her. It was time to put effort in her appearance again.
She went downstairs and saw Evan talking to his parents. He’d shed his beloved hoodie for a button-down shirt and his sneakers for a pair of chukka boots. His hair sported a tighter trim than it had hours earlier.
“You look lovely.” Maria left her son’s side to greet her. “I always wished I could pull off ivory shirts, but alas they wash me out. You have the perfect complexion for it.”
“Thank you.” She noticed Maria wearing an apron. “Aren’t you coming?”
“Oh, no. I prefer to watch the ball drop in the comfort of my own home where I can go to bed directly after.” Maria turned to Evan. “Give my love to Sophie, and ask her to stop by tomorrow if she’s able and show off those sweet children.”
“I will.” He looked at Janie. “Mom’s right. You look great.” He held out an arm. “Ready to go?”
“Yes.” She slid an arm through his and allowed him to escort her to the car. “How many people will be there?”
“Not many.” He opened her door for her and finished answering before closing it. “Calling it a party is an overstatement. As far as I know, me, you, Kate, Luke, Sophie, Bryce. I think their kids are staying with Bryce’s grandmother in Oden Bridge for the night.”
“What’s Bryce like?” Her stomach twisted in knots. She didn’t follow pop culture or celebrities very closely, but spending the evening with one caused bursts of nervousness.
“I’ve only met him twice, but he’s a down-to-earth, all around nice guy. Kate knows him much better than I do and has nothing but good things to say about him.”
“At least I’ll get to thank him in person for the prayers and funeral.” The mention of Mike’s funeral didn’t strike her as hard as it normally would, didn’t make her want to crumble to pieces. “Kate said she’d hand-deliver a note, but in person is even better. I had sent a note to his management company, but you never know if the stars actually see them.”
Evan shrugged. “Probably not. I bet they have a full-time staffer in charge of handling fan mail.”
“Have you heard from Jared? I sent him a text earlier today and never heard back. That’s not like him.”
“He didn’t want to tell you his plans for tonight.” Evan frowned as he rounded a curve in the road.
“Why not?”
“A bunch of guys from the squadron are having a party tonight.” He darted his gaze at her before looking back at the road. “Not the ones we usually hang with.”
“Oh.” A disappointed sigh came out. “I’m assuming lots of alcohol will be involved?”
“Yes.”
“What happened to Wyoming? Wasn’t he supposed to be there until next week?”
“His full leave wasn’t approved. I thought he told you.” He parked along the curb in front of Kate’s house.
“Maybe he did, and I forgot.”
“Ready for a night of fun?” He cast her a wink. “Welcome to New Year’s Eve for boring adults.”
“Most people’s boring is my idea of fun.”
“Which is why I like you so much.” He leaned over, as if about to kiss her cheek, then pulled away.
What was that about? She walked beside him, taking deep breaths and praying she acted normal around Bryce. Now wouldn’t be the time to be star struck for the first time in her life. Unlike her sisters—who’d pierced her eardrums with their shrill screams when she told them who’d be at Kate’s tonight—she’d never even had a celebrity crush.
Kate opened the door. “Come on in. We’re hanging out in the living room.”
She led them through the house, which she’d given a tour of earlier in the week, to where the other three were. Janie recognized Luke, and then Bryce from magazine covers. Making a reasonable assumption, she guessed the other female was Sophie.
Everyone stood, and Kate made the introductions.
Sophie drew her into an embrace. “Kate’s told me all about you. It’s a pleasure to meet you.”
“You, too.” She slinked back awkwardly. Everyone knew about her, but she knew little about them.
“It’s an honor to finally meet you in person.” Bryce stepped forward and shook her hand.
“And you. Thank you for all you did last year.”
“It was the least I could do.” His eyes expressed sincere emotion. “I only wish there had been a better outcome.”
“Me, too, but I have to trust God will make it work for the good.”
“You can’t go wrong with that.” Bryce stepped back to stand beside his wife.
Janie immediately liked him and Sophie. Neither had an ounce of pretense or arrogance, and they both possessed a warm and welcoming demeanor.
“If you’re hungry, there’s tons of food in the kitchen.” Kate stepped that way. “That was a hint this pregnant lady wants food.”
Everyone laughed as they went to make plates of food.
Evan leaned over her shoulder and pointed to a small slow cooker. “You have to try that one. I found a recipe for artichoke fondue last night and made it while you were out earlier.”
She turned her head to reply but quickly spun it back once she realized how close it put their faces. Much too close for comfort after Christmas night.
Though artichokes didn’t appeal to her, she dipped a scoop on her plate anyway in support of Evan and added several bite-size chunks of bread. She filled the remainder of her plate with Swiss cheese and crackers, taco salad with tortilla chips, and barbecue meatballs.
“You can eat in the living room,” Luke announced. “You don’t have to stay in here.”
As they made their plates, they each returned to the living room. Kate turned the television to one of the countdown shows, but no one paid it attention.
“Your tree’s gorgeous.” Janie admired the old-fashioned theme with plaid ribbon, homemade ornaments, and electric candles. “I didn’t notice all the details when I saw it before.”
“That was our compromise this year—a traditional theme but one that wasn’t the standard glass bulbs and white lights.” Luke grinned at Kate. “She helped me decorate my tree last year, and I told her I didn’t want ordinary. I ended up with an LSU theme.”
“What’s wrong with that?” Evan ribbed Luke. “It’s not scarlet and gold, but a close second.”
“Not a thing wrong with those colors. I’m a proud LSU alum, but purple isn’t a Christmas color.”
Kate pointed at her husband. “He complains, but guess whose idea it was to put a small LSU tree in the bedroom this year?”
“I
t seemed like a waste to only use them for a year.” Luke winked, then popped a tortilla chip filled with dip in his mouth.
Bryce swallowed a bite and raised his hand. “Not that talk of trees isn’t fascinating, but there’s a more important matter to discuss.”
“What could possibly be more important than Christmas trees?” Sophie lifted her plate. “Unless it’s about this amazing fondue.”
“You read my mind.” Bryce’s eyes widened. “This is amazing, and I don’t normally care for artichokes.”
“Evan made it.” Kate volunteered the information instantly. “He’s turned into quite the cook.”
“All I did was follow a recipe.” Typical Evan, brushing off the compliment.
“That doesn’t always guarantee success.” Bryce ate another scoop. “You should call my cousin, Dani. She’s looking for another chef to open up a second location.”
Evan snorted. “Yeah, okay. Until a month ago, I didn’t even know a teaspoon from a tablespoon. I’m a far cry from a chef.”
“Dani taught herself, and she’s the best cook I know, next to Gran.” His expression demonstrated his pride in his family. “If you’re interested, I can talk to her.”
“Thanks, but I’m far from qualified, and I still have my life in North Carolina.”
“All right, but if you change your mind, let me know. You’ve got natural talent with food.” Bryce dropped the subject and continued eating.
Janie’s heart palpitated, and the meaning of it scared her. She’d worried Evan wouldn’t stay in North Carolina. For months, she’d braced herself for the announcement he’d leave and return to Louisiana. Wyatt had already left, and Jared made it clear he didn’t plan to stick around once his contract ended. But Evan—she’d be lost without him. And the immense relief that he wasn’t leaving told her a fact she hadn’t wanted to face.
She’d developed feelings for him that extended beyond friendship. For her part, the kiss hadn’t been a fluke. She hadn’t realized it then, but now she knew she’d wanted it to happen. But did those feelings translate into wanting a relationship?
The weight of her wedding band became extraordinarily heavy on her finger. The ring Mike had slipped on her finger as they’d recited vows.
Memories of the crushing pain when she’d first heard the news surged forward. She reflected on the last year and how difficult it had been to put one foot in front of the other each day. How in the dark hours of the night, her heart still ached until she cried herself to sleep.
If only she could take back that kiss. She had no future with Evan—she couldn’t risk that level of pain ever again.
Every minuscule brush of Evan’s arm against hers, every time he looked at her, became a harsh reminder of what she couldn’t have. Too many thoughts attacked her at once, and the room closed in on her.
If she didn’t get out of there, she’d scream. She hadn’t felt this out of control in months. Standing up, she set her plate on an end table. “Excuse me.”
She focused on slow steps, so as to not draw attention to her current meltdown. Let them think she needed the restroom or a refill on her drink. She did grab a cup and fill it with ice cold water, took a large gulp in hopes it would numb her.
Go back in and enjoy the evening. Tomorrow’s worries will take care of themselves.
She finished off the water in a second swallow. Regaining her composure, she convinced herself to return to the living room with shoulders held high, like nothing had changed. Essentially, it hadn’t. She’d ignore her feelings for Evan until they disappeared, then she and Evan would remain friends as they’d always been.
Her plan worked for the next several hours. The group played games, talked, and relaxed. She made it a point not to always sit near Evan and took the opportunity to become acquainted with Sophie. The only uncomfortable moment came when Sophie innocently asked what she did for a living, and she explained that she’d been a housewife, and hadn’t decided what she would do now.
She wasn’t ashamed of her choice to be a housewife. Once Mike’s checks could support them both, they’d made that decision together, and she’d left her job as a sales associate at a department store. Despite the jokes about her cooking, there were a few meals she’d managed to make, and she kept her house spotless. She volunteered at church and the USO to have a life outside of work, but she loved the freedom to spend more time with her husband. If she’d have known how short Mike’s life would be, she’d have found a way to quit her job even sooner. At least they’d had that extra time together the last two years.
Regardless, in modern times, many women didn’t understand, and she always hesitated to answer the “what do you do” question. She’d faced the judgments many times and cringed when asked. Fortunately, Sophie showed nothing but understanding and support, even expressing her own struggle to decide if she should work or stay home.
Despite her worries earlier in the evening, the night had been pleasant and stress-free for the most part. Until the approach of midnight.
The countdown began, and seconds ticked until the new year arrived.
Boisterous screams, flashing lights, and clouds of confetti erupted on the television screen.
Refrains of “Happy New Year’s” made their rounds, and then “Auld Lang Syne” played as couples embraced and welcomed in a fresh beginning. Not only on TV, but in Kate’s home.
She stood awkwardly, averting her gaze from the two couples.
Evan locked eyes with her.
Oh no, she was in trouble.
All her convictions of hours ago melted away. Tonight. She’d allow herself tonight, but what happened in Louisiana would stay in Louisiana. That’s how it would have to be.
Sliding his arms around her waist, Evan pushed all thoughts from her mind. “Happy New Year.”
“Happy New Year,” she murmured before his lips cut off any more speech.
Chapter Eleven
The words blurred on the page and Evan set the textbook aside. He’d conquered deployments—he could conquer economics. When he’d decided to take classes at the community college for culinary arts, he hadn’t realized he also had to take electives that, to his thinking, had little to do with his career goals.
None of his classes this semester related to culinary arts, but he’d knock out those pesky electives. He’d been fortunate to be admitted on such short notice, so he accepted the inconveniences with his mind focused on the end result.
He rubbed his eyes and picked up the dreaded book again. If he didn’t knock out his understanding of the material, he’d fail his first exam. Supply and demand made sense, and so did utility, but he struggled with elasticity. He filled out practice charts, but confused elastic supply with inelastic supply, then inelastic demand with elastic demand. The lines ran together, and his frustration soared. Why couldn’t he remember what seemed like a simple concept?
He needed a break. For the last six weeks, he’d thrown himself into his classes, barely seeing the outside world. Most of it came naturally to him—economics is the only one that caused extra work—and the distraction kept his mind off Janie.
Or at least that’s what he told himself. The truth was, she rarely strayed far from his thoughts.
In the two months since the trip home for Christmas, they had strategically avoided being alone and had only seen each other in group settings. The only exception had been when he’d given her car a jump start.
He missed her. Would it be so bad to invite her out to eat? He would call one of the guys, but they’d left Monday for training in Yuma until mid-April. With Jared gone, the probability Janie would need him increased.
Maybe not. She was finding her independence, which made him proud, but he missed being needed. He enjoyed helping her, being her shoulder to cry on, the man she could count on.
Why had he gone and kissed her? Not once, but twice.
Everything had changed since then. They’d come back to North Carolina without ever talking about it. There seemed to be a
mutual agreement to pretend it had never happened—except it had, and had changed their relationship.
Gone were the days of ease and comfort between them. Their conversation on the plane ride home could have defined stilted in the dictionary. He wanted the old them back, and they couldn’t reach that unless they found a way to move past the kisses.
He reached for his phone with the intent to call her. It wasn’t wise. He knew distance presented the best option for protection of his heart, but he was lonely. One little dinner wouldn’t hurt …
Why did she have to be his best friend’s widow? Why did he have injuries that prevented him from offering her the life she wanted? Why, why, why.
He threw the phone on the coffee table and ran his hands through his hair.
This was stupid. He’d spent years learning the art of self-discipline and courage, but he was going to let a little crush on Janie stand in the way of their friendship?
Grabbing his phone for the second time, he decided to put aside his feelings at all costs in order to repair what had been broken. If he took the first step, maybe she’d follow, and they could be friends again without letting a little misplaced passion hang between them.
Her phone rang. And rang. Finally went to her voicemail. Go figure.
“Hey, it’s Evan. Just calling to see if you’re free to grab dinner tonight. If you get this in the next hour or so and want to, give me a call.”
He disconnected and laid the phone on the microfiber sofa’s armrest. Reluctantly, he stared at the textbook pages again, trying to make sense of the material. Twenty minutes later, he tapped his phone for any sign of a response from Janie. Nothing. He checked the volume to make sure it hadn’t been switched to silent. It was on medium.
Low growls rumbled from his stomach after an hour. Still no word from Janie. He wished he knew if she’d gotten the message or not. Was the lack of response a passive no or not knowing of the invitation yet. If she didn’t want to go, he could handle a negative answer. He was a big boy.