by Dee Yates
It had been a warm day, but a breeze freshened the evening air and a few stars twinkled indistinctly in the sky above. In the twilight, she walked fast, conscious that it would not be long until she was unable to see where she was planting her feet and could easily twist an ankle in the uneven terrain. Halfway up the hill, she ran out of breath and sat down heavily in the dew-wet grass to rest. Within the space of two or three minutes, she heard footsteps approaching and a dark shape grew larger in the encroaching darkness.
‘Don’t do that,’ Tam said in a low voice. ‘Don’t run away in the dark. You don’t know what might happen to you,’ His voice was shaky.
He sat down beside her in the grass and put his head in his hands. Jeannie reached out to him, realising what memories her action had brought back.
‘I’m sorry, sweetheart,’ Tam whispered. ‘I shouldn’t speak to you like that. Sometimes I can’t believe my good fortune in having you as my wife and I imagine that it won’t last, that you’ll be snatched away by someone else better than me.’
‘There is no one better than you, silly,’ she said, feeling guilty. ‘I mean it.’
Tam took her chin between his fingers and turned her face to his, kissing her tenderly. Then he lay back in the grass and stared up into the night sky where a million stars were now scattered. ‘Nights like this are rare,’ he said. ‘No rain, no midges, and no moon to hide the stars.’ He put his arm round her shoulders and she lay back silently beside him, his harsh words still echoing in her head.
‘I’ve something to tell you,’ she said, gazing up at the stars. ‘Mr Cunningham thinks you need me here more than he needs me there, so he’s applying for another land girl, two in fact, and he’s told me that from now on I can stay here and help you – not that there’s anything wrong with my work,’ she added. ‘He’s very sorry to lose me, but he thinks it’s for the best. Do you think it’s for the best? Would you like me to be here all the time or would I annoy you?’
‘Of course I would love you to be here all the time,’ Tam replied, propping himself up on his elbow and looking down at her. ‘That’s really good news. And Dad will be more than happy about it as well. Shall we go and tell him now, before he takes himself off to bed?’
‘Aye, in a minute, Tam. Let’s lie here and enjoy the stars first. Like you say, there aren’t many nights like this, so peaceful, no one and nothing to disturb us.’
*
Jeannie was washing up the dinner things when she heard a step behind her and two hands covered her eyes so she was unable to see. Peeling the fingers away, she spun round and came face to face with her brother-in-law. She was so shocked that she brought soapy hands up to her mouth to smother her gasp of surprise.
‘Steady, steady, you’ll be covering my new uniform in soap suds,’ Alan laughed, not letting go of her. ‘Don’t I get a kiss then? After all, it’s eight weeks since you last saw me and I’ve a swanky new uniform to make me even more appealing.’
Jeannie paused, then planted a kiss on his cheek. He responded by taking her head in his hands and kissing her longingly on the mouth. She knew she should pull away but she made no attempt to do so.
‘That’s better,’ Alan sighed. ‘No, on second thoughts I need another one of those.’ He pulled her close and started to kiss her again.
Jeannie, who had closed her eyes, heard the door latch and sprang back, her cheeks burning, as Tam entered the room. For a moment he stood bemused, seeing Alan in the middle of the room and Jeannie, her cheeks flaming red, backed against the kitchen sink.
‘Tam! How are you doing, pal? It’s good to see you again. This is me called in to say goodbye. I’m off to fight my battles the day after tomorrow.’
‘You look as though you’ve been fighting them already,’ Tam muttered, looking at the wet front of Tam’s uniform.
‘Och, you know, just saying hello to my sister-in-law. After all, I hear she’s now the lady of the house. I need to keep on the right side of her.’
‘It’s a very smart uniform, Alan, a bit smarter than farmers usually look,’ Jeannie said, to deflect attention from herself.
‘It should be, the amount of time we have to spend brushing it and ridding it of even the slightest crease, to say nothing of my shoes, which are going to need another clean before I get on that boat.’
‘So, when do you go?’ Tam asked.
‘I have to report to Leith Docks Wednesday morning, embarking at dinnertime. It will be good to see some action.’
Douglas entered the room and his face lit up at the sight of his elder son.
‘Sit down, then, all of you,’ Jeannie said. ‘The kettle’s boiled. I’ll make yous a nice cup of tea.’
*
After Alan had said his goodbyes under Tam’s watchful gaze, Jeannie wandered over to the ploughed plot of land behind the cottage. Tam had earlier in the year planted carrots and turnips and Jeannie was trying hard to keep them free of weeds, in the hopes of getting an autumn crop that would see them through the winter. Even in the week since her last effort, the weeds had sprouted again. She fetched a bucket and got down on her hands and knees to make the task easier. She was tired. The bubbling personality that had been hers on her arrival seemed to be changing into a world-weary and disheartened one. She sat back on her heels, a sudden idea blossoming.
‘What are you thinking about?’ It was Tam, who had appeared quietly around the corner of the cottage.
‘Tam. Could I pay a visit to my Auntie Christine – just for a couple of days? I miss her. And I’m worried about Uncle Cameron. He’s no’ been well and if anything should happen to him and I’d not seen him, I’d feel bad.’
‘Aye, I don’t see why not. When would you want to go?’
‘Whenever suits you. I would need to write to her to make sure she’s free. Say, next week?’
‘Aye. It’s no’ so busy here and it would give you a break. I shall miss you, so you’ll no’ stay away too long, will you?’
‘Of course not.’ Jeannie jumped to her feet, smiling. ‘I’ll go and write to her now.’
*
It was a misty autumn morning that held the promise of sunshine when Tam hitched up the wagon to Holly and drove it across the moors, up to the village and through the valley until they came to the train station.
‘Remember – no longer than three days.’ Tam hugged her tightly. ‘I shall be here to meet the train on Friday afternoon.’
Jeannie’s excitement rose as the engine with its line of carriages chugged slowly out of the station. She hadn’t seen her aunt and uncle since coming south. Out of the window, the sun sparkled on the Clyde as the train mimicked its path. Here and there, fields of corn still waited to be harvested. She looked at her hands, remembering the cuts and sores inflicted on them by last year’s harvesting at Rob Cunningham’s. That seemed an age away now. So much had happened since that time.
Soldiers passed up and down the corridor and, seeing them, Jeannie’s thoughts returned to Alan’s visit. Her pulse quickened at the memory of his kiss. Tam had been strangely silent on the subject of his brother after his departure, maybe glad that he was out of the way and no longer a distraction to his wife. Not for the first time, she wished that her husband could be as spontaneous in his affections as his older brother was. Was Alan right when he said that she and Tam would make each other miserable? Was their marriage doomed to fail? Jeannie sighed deeply and stared out of the window at the mocking sunshine.
‘Excuse me. Can I squeeze past? That’s my seat next to yours.’ A woman who looked to be no more than a few years older than Jeannie stood in the aisle of the carriage. She was well dressed, in a smart woman-about-town style. ‘I’ve just been in the restaurant car for a cuppa. I’m Madge by the way. How do y’do?’
‘Hello, I’m Jean, though friends call me Jeannie.’
‘Jeannie it is then.’ The woman’s voice sounded strange. She was certainly not from around those parts. ‘I’ll be glad to reach Glasgow,’ Madge continued. ‘It’s
taken me since yesterday morning to get this far, though I did stop in Carlisle overnight. And the trains are so full of soldiers and kitbags and what-have-you – not that I’m complaining of course!’ she said, chuckling.
‘Where have you come from?’
‘London. I’m going to my cousin’s wedding. She’s met a soldier from Glasgow and they’ve decided not to wait.’
‘London! You’ve come a long way then.’
‘You can say that again, love. What about you? You come from these parts?’
‘Aye. I’m married to a farmer. We stay out in the countryside. I’m visiting my aunt and uncle in Glasgow for a couple of days. I haven’t seen them for over a year.’ Jeannie glanced at the woman’s well-cut skirt, nylon stockings and smart shoes. ‘So, what do you do in London?’
‘Me? Oh, I’m a secretary up in town. I work for a firm of solicitors.’
‘I used to work in Glasgow when I left school,’ Jeannie smiled. ‘I stayed with my uncle and auntie – the ones I’m going to visit today. I worked in a library until the war started and then found a job as a land girl on a farm far away from anywhere.’
‘You must find it very quiet after city life.’
‘Aye, it is quiet, but I’ve made a lot of good friends since I moved there.’
‘And met your husband?’
‘Aye. He farms with his father and brother further up the valley. At least he did, but his brother Alan has just joined up and been sent abroad.’
‘Not your husband though – he didn’t join up?’
‘No, not Tam. He did go to be a soldier, but he was told he was unfit because of a heart condition caused from an illness when he was a child. How about you – are you married?’
‘Me, love? No, I’m not married. Too many fish in the sea for me to settle down. Mind you, I wouldn’t say no to a good-looking farmer if there’s one to spare. What about that brother-in-law – Alan, did you call him?’
‘Och, he’s not free,’ Jeannie replied quickly.
‘Only joking, love. I don’t think I’d want to come and live up here – too quiet for me. Actually, things are hotting up now in my part of the world. The Germans have been dropping bombs on English airfields, trying to destroy our planes. It’s getting a bit too close for comfort, so it’s nice getting away up here for a couple of days. I’m travelling back down Saturday though, because they won’t let me take more than three days off work.’
The two women continued to chat as buildings and factories began to replace the trees and fields flashing past the window of the train.
‘I’ve never been to London,’ Jeannie said to her new friend. ‘It must be exciting to live in such a busy place.’
‘Well, usually it is. Why don’t you come and see for yourself?’
‘Och, I don’t think so. It’s not my husband Tam’s cup of tea at all.’
‘That’s good then because I’m not inviting him, I’m inviting you.’ As she spoke, Madge drew from her handbag an envelope and, removing the letter from it, passed the envelope to Jeannie. ‘There you are… my address. Keep it. And if you get bored with Scotland, come and visit and I’ll show you the bright lights, at least I will when this wretched war is over and they switch them on again.’
The train neared Glasgow and the sun struggled to make its mark on the city streets. The two girls said their goodbyes as they pulled in to Central Station, dark and forbidding as ever. The only ray of sunshine in the gloom was her aunt’s excited smile. Hugging her niece, she guided her out of the station to the waiting car. It was going to be just like old times.
But one glance at her uncle, when they arrived at the house she knew so well, showed Jeannie that it was never going to be like old times. He was no longer able to work and, although he rose from his bed at the usual time and ate his meals and walked when the weather allowed, his appetite was poor and his pace had slowed. He was no longer the bustling and efficient man of the house that he had been when Jeannie was staying with them. Her aunt was cheerful as ever, although it was difficult to avoid noticing the careworn lines that creased a face always so ready to smile.
Christine had put Jeannie in her old bedroom. That at least was unchanged. Jeannie lay back on the pillows that night and thought of the last time she had been in the room. It was another life. It was only a little over a year ago – but here she was married with a new family and new responsibilities. She was now another person.
*
When Tam met her at the station, Jeannie was bubbling over with the news of her three-day visit.
‘I had a shock when I saw my Uncle Cameron. He used to be such a strong man, going off each morning to work. Now he’s had to give up his job. He takes a long time to get going in the morning. He used to have a good appetite, but not now. Auntie Christine takes a walk with him during the day if the weather’s good. She says she hopes it will bring his appetite back, but it doesn’t seem to.’ Jeannie paused briefly before continuing, ‘Auntie Christine – she’s the same as ever. She’s helping distribute food to the poorest families in the area whose men are away. You remember Alice – Ian and Malcolm’s mother? We went to see her. I had taken her address with me, in case there was an opportunity. The wee girl is fair growing up now. Alice misses her sons. She’s living with her mother-in-law now, Granny Jess. I think I told you.’
Jeannie stopped and glanced at Tam. He was staring straight ahead concentrating on the road, although Holly knew the way without being prompted.
‘Oh, I’m sorry, Tam. I haven’t asked how things have been at home.’
‘I take it you haven’t missed it then – or me,’ Tam said with a wry grin.
‘Of course I have. I told Auntie and Uncle all about the farm and the farming year. Auntie said that they would love to come and see it for themselves, but they can’t right now, not until Uncle improves. So, have you been busy while I’ve been away?’
‘Aye. We didnae do bad at market yesterday with the fat lambs. What else? Tuesday, I had some time later in the afternoon, so I went to give Alec a hand. I took Malcolm with me. I met the two lads on their way home from school and Malcolm asked if he could come. Ian was no’ so keen, so we left him with Rob and went on, just the two of us. Alec’s getting ready for the shoot in a few weeks, so I did some tidying up, while he fussed over the birds – made sure they were in top condition. Malcolm went from one to the other of us, holding nails while I mended, admiring the pheasants and giving them food and enjoying helping the two of us.’
‘I can imagine that,’ Jeannie laughed. ‘Talking of small boys, look what Auntie Christine’s given us.’ Jeannie pointed to a square package on the top of her string bag. ‘One of her delicious fruit cakes.’
‘Och well, in that case you can go again!’
Holly guided the wagon and its cargo through the village, down into the valley and onto the rough track leading to their farm. It had been another beautiful day and the sun was setting huge and red behind the distant hills. Tam drew in the reins and brought Holly to a standstill, where she took advantage of the grassy sides of the track to eat her tea. Tam and Jeannie sat close, watching the sun disappear and paint the clouds with orange tints.
‘This is something I miss in Glasgow.’
‘You mean being close to me?’
‘Of course. What else did you think I meant?’ They turned to one another and kissed.
*
When she came through the door, Douglas gave his daughter-in-law a wide smile and a welcoming hug and insisted on getting tea ready, while Tam took her outside to see the repairs he had done to the walls enclosing the back garden.
‘And what’s more,’ Tam concluded, ‘we’re having the first taste of the carrots with our tea tonight!’
‘We’ve no’ had news of Alan yet,’ Douglas said later, when they had finished their meal and were enjoying a cup of tea. ‘I thought we’d have had a letter by now.’
‘I told you, Dad. They maybe aren’t able to write or perhaps they’re not allo
wed. We’ll hear in good time.’
‘Why don’t I walk into the village tomorrow and call on Fiona? She may have heard something by now,’ Jeannie suggested.
‘Aye, lass. That would make me very happy, if you would do that. You could make sure that lass of his is all right. We don’t see so much of her as we’d like.’
*
Jeannie turned to Tam as they lay side by side in the ancient double bed and kissed him softly on the cheek.
‘What?’ he murmured.
‘Wake up, sleepyhead. You’re not allowed to go to sleep yet. I’ve something important to tell you.’
‘Mm.’
‘Are you awake – properly awake?’
‘Mm.’
‘I’m going to have a baby.’
‘What?’ Tam sat bolt upright in bed. ‘Why didn’t you tell me?’
‘I’m telling you now. I wanted to wait until there was just you and me and not your dad and not even that horse with her big ears!’
‘But that’s wonderful news. When did you realise?’
‘Well, I had a suspicion before I went to Auntie’s, but I wasn’t sure. She’s not had any first-hand experience, them not having children, but she took me to her doctor and he confirmed it.’
‘So, do you feel all right? When will it be born? What do we have to do?’ The questions came thick and fast.
Jeannie laughed. ‘For someone who’s been delivering lambs all his life, you’re in a real panic. It will be born sometime at the end of March.’
‘So early? It must have happened as soon as we were married.’
‘Likely so! Are you really surprised?’
Tam frowned, then shook his head with a smile. ‘No, not really!’
‘As for me, I feel fine. And as for what we have to do, well nothing right now. Later I will need to see the midwife but not yet. So for now, let’s get some sleep. I’m tired after all that travelling.’
They lay back and Jeannie nestled into his shoulder. When Tam felt her relax and her breathing slow, he gently eased the covers off his legs and silently left the bed. He sat on the windowsill looking out at the dark moor and the distant hills. A crescent moon hung in the sky. The excitement of Jeannie’s news had been replaced by the nagging doubt that had troubled him intermittently ever since the afternoon that had threatened to put an end to his marriage before it had ever begun. Times and dates jumbled in his brain. Episodes that he had tried to explain away returned to haunt him.