“Of course I do, but it’s a new school year and another season.” She smacked her bright pink lips together, checking her teeth, and closing the mirror. God, I adored Nat, but subtlety was an art completely lost on her. Between the lip color, the large, orange, acrylic globe earrings, and funky ombré yellow shift dress, she looked like a walking homage to tacky eighties fashion. It hurt my eyes just looking at her in that get-up.
“What about that gorgeous Viking of a man, your neighbor…” she tapped the center of her forehead with her middle finger, like there was an invisible button she was pushing to help her remember. “Martin? No, that’s not it. Mike? Mack?”
I rolled my shoulders back several times, as if trying to relieve the sudden tension buildup. “Max,” I said through clenched teeth, “you mean Max.”
“Max!” she practically yelled. “That’s it! Max! Max-the-Viking!”
“Shh! Geez, keep your voice down!”
“Sorry, sorry,” she replied, placing her hand over her own mouth for a second, but of course, it didn’t last. “I get loud when I’m excited.”
“I don’t know why,” I mumbled. “He wants absolutely nothing to do with me.”
“What are you talking about?” Natalie sat back in her chair, her hazel eyes starting to blink rapidly. “He has you watching his only child. He obviously trusts you more than anyone in the world.”
I let out a sigh and shook my head, trying not to meet her eyes. Instead, I busied myself with packing up my stuff to go. It was Friday, which meant Piper wouldn’t be meeting me today. It hadn’t been that long since we had started the new arrangement, but already, I looked forward to my time with her. Of course, with Piper came Max, and after our last debacle, I had become creative in finding ways not to deal with him directly. One time, I pretended to have stomach issues and couldn’t come out of the bathroom. Several times, I purposefully arranged Skype calls with my sister right at Piper’s pick-up time and just waved them off from the other side of the house.
Natalie leaned her long frame forward, putting her legs down from the desk. It was appropriate that Natalie was the math specialist because she was all straight lines and sharp right angles: a body made of pure geometry.
“What’s wrong? Something’s off. You can tell me.”
I knew I could tell Natalie anything. I peered over her shoulder, just to make sure there wasn’t anyone lurking near our office. The last thing I needed was half the town of Vienna knowing my business. Okay, well, I didn’t have any “business” necessarily, but I still didn’t need them to hear my secret longings.
“Look, there’s nothing to tell.” I stared down at my hands. “Max moved into the neighborhood, then a half second later, Samantha was in danger and he insisted I stay with him until that psycho was caught. While I was there, it was…it was…”
“Yeah?”
I met her eyes. “It was amazing.” My voice was soft. I sighed and looked off to the side, tucking my hair behind my ear, just the way Max had.
“Look, I know I’m supposed to be all modern-woman and say ‘I’ve got this’ and ‘I don’t need anyone’s help’. But my parents had just died and a madman was hunting down Sam. I was a complete wreck and when I turned to the man I was actually dating at the time, do you know what he did?”
Natalie knew better than to verbally answer at that point, so instead she offered a small smile and shook her head.
“That poor excuse of a man actually had the nerve to cite probability statistics on the low likelihood that another catastrophic man-made event could happen in my family in the short timeframe allotted!”
“Noooo he didn’t.” Her eyes were now as wide as saucers.
“Yes he did.” I let out an awkward laugh while curling and uncurling my fingers, the skin around my hands feeling tight, like they had been shrink-wrapped. I reached for the lotion on my desk and gave it a couple of pumps, rubbing the creamy salve in. “He really thought that was going to make me feel better. And then Max came in, all alpha-male protective. He assessed the situation in a heartbeat, took one look at Henry and how he was ‘helping’ me handle things, and that was it. He decided he wasn’t cut out ‘to do the job’, told him so by saying—and I quote ‘get the hell out of my Gingersnap’s space’—and took over.”
“Max was right,” Natalie agreed. “Henry was a plumped-up peacock, not a real man.”
“Anyway,” I continued, “Max hadn’t even unpacked, but every night, he cooked me dinner and stayed up late, listening to me rattling on about the loss of my parents and how freaked I was at the thought of losing my sister too.” I blew out an exasperated breath and gazed out the window of my office, noticing how the wind was bending the trees to their will. Under my breath, I muttered, “I can’t even remember how many times that man held me as I cried that week.
“But as soon as the crisis was over, whatever we had was obviously over too.” I turned toward Natalie again, seeing her without really seeing. “It was like a switch had been turned off.” I snapped my fingers. “Just like that. I moved back to my place and out of his mind and heart.”
“Oh honey.” She reached over, placing her hand over mine. “I’m sure that’s not true.”
“For a while I thought there was hope, but recently it was made obvious to me he has absolutely no real interest in me. He just wants me for Piper, not for him.”
“Did he actually say that?”
“He sure did.” I could feel the humiliation all over again, crawling over my skin like tiny insects. “He said he was doing me a favor, keeping me at arm’s length.”
“He said what?”
“You heard me.” I shoved some notes into my briefcase. “Listen, we were never a thing, so I don’t even know why I’m stressing over it, right? I’m being ridiculous.”
“No you’re not. You really liked him. I honestly can’t remember the last time you got so excited over a guy. I’m sorry it didn’t work out the way you wanted.”
“You’re sorry what didn’t work out for Ms. Jessica?”
Both our heads snapped up to see Piper and Max standing right outside our office doorway. My hand flew to my mouth, as if the gesture could retract all the words that had just flown out of it. Piper’s big green eyes were volleying back and forth between Nat and me, totally confused, and meanwhile, I wanted to crawl into a hole and die. Looking over at Max’s expression—well, he was impossible for me to read, which I suppose was a good thing. If he had overheard, he’d probably be even more uncomfortable than Natalie and me.
“What didn’t work out?” she repeated.
“Oh! Uh, uh…” I stuttered. “Nothing for you to worry about, honey.”
Yep. I totally lied and was blushing hot pink so I knew I wasn’t getting any better at it with age. “So, uh, what brings you two here?”
Max casually draped his arm across his daughter’s shoulders, which made her whole being light up like a fireworks show. Both were dressed in T-shirts, faded jeans, and leather jackets, not identical, but obviously belonging together.
“I had a dentist appointment earlier, but I had to come back to school to get my assignments. Dad and I are making homemade pizza tonight!”
“That sounds like a good time. Try to chew between bites,” I teased. She rolled her eyes but did it grinning.
I bent down for my briefcase and then stood up, grabbing my jacket off the hook. “I’d love to stay and chat but I have to get going. You coming?” I said to Natalie.
“I’m staying,” she replied. “I’m still waiting on that conference call. I don’t know why there’s a hold-up.”
“All right, I’ll see ya then.” I scooted sideways to get around my desk and Natalie’s phone finally rang. She gave me a half wave, and I closed the office door behind me, to give her some privacy. Piper was still standing there with her dad, grinning ear to ear and rocking back and forth on the b
alls of her feet.
“Ready to go?” she practically squeaked as she took my hand, and my heart melted. Her hand was so small and warm in mine. I didn’t want to let go, but there was no way I was spending an evening in Max’s company.
“I’d love to, sweetie, but I can’t.” I gave her hand a squeeze while trying to offer a reassuring smile, which was hard because hers slid right away as she heard me.
“You’re not getting it, Gingersnap,” Max said, as his gaze slowly perused the length of me. “You’re with us tonight.”
Both my brows shot up. “Excuse me?”
Piper gave a sharp elbow to her dad’s side. “Dad is asking if you want to come over and make pizza with us.” She gave him the stink eye. “Right, Dad?”
His eyes crinkled in the corners as he beamed down at her. “Yeah, baby, that’s right.” His eyes pierced into me, as if he could see everything I was so desperately trying to hide under this polite conversation.
Please just go away. Leave me to my books and daydreams.
He looked over at his daughter. “Go get your assignments for the weekend, ’kay, Pipe?”
“Okay Dad,” she said on a half skip, letting me go and making her way to her classroom on the other side of the building.
“You know, I don’t appreciate you putting me in this position, having to say no to her.”
He came closer to me, our proximity suggesting a relationship we certainly didn’t have, so I backed up, only to hit the wall. I grimaced, sneaking a peek to my left and right, but the halls were still empty. Jesus, this is the longest five minutes of my life until that bell rings.
“She wanted to come back, to ask you to dinner. You’re important to her. I wasn’t going to interfere with that.”
“Ah, I see.” I nodded, keeping my focus down on my shoes. “Well, please make my excuses and tell her I’ll see her Monday.” I started to walk away, only to feel a band of steel wrap around my waist and move me back into place.
I looked down at his arm and then snapped my head up. “What the heck, Max?”
He didn’t flinch. “Listen, I—”
I pushed him away. I couldn’t handle him touching me anymore.
“Stop,” I pleaded, my voice coming out in a hoarse whisper. “I really have to go.”
“You’ve been avoiding me. Why?”
“Oh well, I’ve…um…” I let my sentence trail off, not able to look at him.
He placed his warm hand on the curve of my neck. “Will you look at me, baby?”
That’s the last thing I wanted to do. It was too hard and it brought back all the humiliation and anger I had been feeling for the last couple of weeks.
And in my mind I was no longer standing in the school hallway, but in front of Max’s house, watching woman after woman coming in and out his front door. They all had tasted his kiss. His manly scent had rubbed off on their clothes. And not to sound like an elitist or anything, but the fact that he thought those Barbie doublewides were worth time in his bed and not me, well, it just enraged every cell of my being every time I thought about it.
I blew out an exasperated breath and gave him my eyes. “Just leave it, Max. We’ll keep the peace for Piper’s sake, but that doesn’t mean we have to be…anything.”
He squeezed my neck and opened his mouth to talk, but I pulled away and cut him off. “And please stop touching me like I belong to you or something.”
He frowned but didn’t have a chance to say anything.
“Hi guys!” Piper yelled as she jogged down the hall toward us. “Ready to go?”
Just then, the bell rang, and a swarm of kids busted out the doors and into the halls. I felt surrounded and claustrophobic.
“I can’t do this,” I said under my breath.
“Give us a sec, Pipe,” he said to her, and then he wrapped his whole frame around mine, like a shield from the onslaught of kids.
I stared at my shaking hands for another few seconds before shoving them into my front pocket. I knew he saw because he started petting my head, trying to soothe me.
But I couldn’t get the carousel of women out of my head. Never the same one, but all looking alike: biker chicks with big hair and lots of denim, cocktail waitresses with spray-on tans and half shirts, even in autumn, and strippers wearing mile-high, acrylic heels and sporting boobs bought with stacks of cash.
“Why never the same woman twice?” I asked the floor.
I heard him mutter “shit”, and the heat of his hand disappeared.
“What do you want me to say, Jess?” he asked, his tone already sounding defeated.
“Hey, you’re still here?” I heard Natalie coming up from behind Max, all cheery and sunshine, completely unaware of the maelstrom in her path. “I thought you’d be long gone by now.” She stopped right next to me, her eyes going back and forth between us. “What’s going on here?”
“Are we going or not?” Piper called out, probably seeing Natalie coming over and figuring it was all clear to join us.
I backed away from all three of them, a small cluster in a busy hive of buzzing children, anxious to exit the school and dive into their weekends. Between the questions and the people surrounding me, I started feeling sick to my stomach, the bile rising, burning in my throat. I placed my palm on the cool wall next to me, taking a cleansing breath, doing everything in my power to not have a panic attack in the middle of the hallway.
“I don’t think it’s a good idea for the three of us to spend time together. Piper, I’d love to take you out some other time. Just us girls, okay?”
“No, it’s not okay,” she answered, her voice so small. “All summer you were fine with it being the three of us. But now, you’re doing everything you can do avoid us. What’s wrong? Did I…” She got tears in her eyes. “Did I screw up, Ms. Jessica?”
“Absolutely not. I adore you, Piper. It’s nothing you did.”
She wiped her eyes with the back of her hand as she looked into me and then at her dad. Piper furrowed her brows. “Then it must be something you did.”
He opened his mouth, but closed it again.
“That’s why she’s been acting so weird.” Her voice cracked. “Why she’s been avoiding hanging out with us any longer than she has to. I thought it was me, something I did!”
“Of course it isn’t you, Pipe.” Max cleared his throat. “It’s something between us and it’ll be fine.”
“Doesn’t look like she’s fine to me. It looks like Ms. Jessica can’t get far enough away!”
“Piper—” I tried to interject.
“No, don’t.” Her voice was breaking now, like the tears were about to well over. She looked at her dad, like she didn’t know him, and I could see from the look on his face that it was gutting him.
“And I kept bringing it up to you, on how something was wrong with Ms. Jessica, wondering if her family was okay or if she had cancer like mom and was going to die like her. And the whole time you knew it was something you did and you never said anything.”
Max’s hands were on his hips. “Shit.” He cursed again under his breath. Looking right at Piper, he said, “All you need to know is that this is grown-up stuff and has nothing to do with you.”
“No, you’re right,” she shot back, the disgust evident in her tone even as the tears spilled over. “I know the problem. It’s you. You’d rather be with easy women than good women. The kind that smells like cigarettes and beer and only care about partying.”
“Preach it, kid,” Natalie muttered under her breath.
“Keep your friend out of my business, Jess,” Max said, his whole body tense, the muscles in his jaw ticking.
“You’re in front of our office, Max!”
“He doesn’t know how to stick. That’s what Mom used to say about you, you know. That’s why she only had us meet when she knew she wasn’t going to
get better. I don’t know why she even bothered.” And with that, she took off and ran down the hallway.
“Piper!” Max ran after her but had a harder time with all the small bodies intercepting.
I was about to follow when Natalie grabbed my arm. “Let them go, Shortcake. They’ll work it out.”
* * * * *
“Fuck, I knew it,” he groaned as he slid into me for the first time. “I knew you’d feel this good, this tight for me.”
I couldn’t believe it was finally happening: Max and me, making love. I couldn’t remember how we got there, but there he was, a wall of tattoos and muscle with a thin sheen of sweat. Then he flipped me and I was on top, thrusting his cock deep inside of me, with both his hands holding onto my ass, helping me shimmy back and forth against his length. The friction was delicious and he was stretching me to the point of feeling some pain.
It was perfect.
“Oh God,” I moaned, digging my nails into the most perfectly muscled arms I’d ever felt. He growled at the contact.
“Jesus, baby, there’s a wildcat underneath all that kitten.” He let go of one of my butt cheeks, taking hold of my breast. He sat up, wrapping his lips around my nipple, sucking in deep. I arched my back and cried out.
“Max, that’s it, I’m going to come!”
“Yeah, baby, come for me. Cream all over my dick.” But instead of reaching for my clit like I expected, he knocked on the wooden headboard above my bed.
“What are you doing? I’m so close!”
He just smirked, rolled me off of him, and knocked again, real insistent and loud. Then, with the other hand, he jolted my shoulder.
My eyes flashed open.
Ah crud, I had fallen asleep on my couch. And that meant what happened was just a dream. My heart sank. It had felt so real.
But then I heard that knocking again. Even though I had the shade drawn down, I just knew who was on the other side and I closed my eyes again, wishing I could disappear.
“Dear God, why? Why are you tormenting me like this?” I picked the sleep out of my eyes and sat up. Reluctantly.
Girl Breaker Page 4