“My grandmother taught me.”
Holly smiled. “Well, I have your present right here.” She jumped up and pulled Nicole’s gift from beneath her tree. “It’s store bought and practical,” she said sheepishly. “And nothing as beautiful as this.” She fingered the soft wool, curling it between her fingers.
Nicole opened a box and pulled out a Tiffany key ring with her initial. On the key ring was a key to the office. “I thought you’d want more freedom to come and go as you please once you have the title of office manager,” Holly said, hoping her friend would be pleased with the gifts.
Nicole’s eyes grew wide. “Me? Office manager?”
Holly nodded. “With my new partner starting soon and him bringing in his patients from the next town over, we need a full-fledged manager. I talked to Lance—Dr. Tollgate—and he agreed to a promotion and a raise. Merry Christmas,” she told her friend.
Nicole squealed and hugged Holly tight. “You’re the best. Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.”
“Okay, now that the gifts are over, where’s the man?” Growing serious, she glanced around the room, obviously looking for Dylan.
“He’s in L.A. Or should I say on his way back to L.A.”
Nicole frowned. “That snake. I thought you had more time together.”
“Something came up.”
“You seem okay with it?” Nicole tipped her head to the side, questioning.
“It’s not like I have a choice. Look, he lives in L.A. His career is there. His life is there. Mine is here. It’s not like we could make a relationship work anyway. Assuming he even wanted something serious.”
“Does he?”
“I don’t know.”
“Do you?”
Holly stood and arranged the blanket over one end of the couch. The colors complemented the room beautifully, and she smiled. “This is gorgeous.”
“And you’re avoiding my question.”
Holly laughed. “That’s my prerogative, isn’t it?”
Nicole rolled her eyes. “You’re going to have to figure things out eventually or you’ll make yourself crazy. I need to get going.” She rose and started for the door, and Holly followed. “What are you doing for dinner?”
“No real Christmas plans. Want to come back here and we’ll have girls’ night?”
“Now, that’s the best offer I’ve had in a long time.” Nicole hugged her tight. “What about this afternoon?”
“I need to see John.”
Nicole sighed in understanding. “I don’t envy you.”
“I owe him answers.” And she owed herself a lot more.
It was time to face her fears once and for all.
Later that day, Holly drove to John’s and knocked on his door.
He greeted her warmly, looked into her eyes and said, “Why do I have the distinct feeling you aren’t here with the news I was hoping for?”
She studied him with a fresh, new perspective. His gorgeous green gaze and handsome face would have a smarter woman than her swooning. God, she wished she were smarter because then her life would be so much less complicated.
“Can we talk?” she asked.
He gestured inside with a sweep of his arm, and once they were seated on the leather couch in his spacious den, Holly mustered her courage. “You’re such a good man,” she said softly.
“But you don’t love me.”
She shook her head. “Not the way you deserve.” And the signs had been there all along. She had never given to him physically or emotionally the way she gave herself to Dylan. Oh, she had tried hard to convince herself she could love John, but the truth is she didn’t. She couldn’t.
She loved Dylan, and no other man would do. “I’m just so sorry it took me so long to—”
“Don’t say you’re sorry.” He cut her off. “I’m not sorry for the time we had, and I know I learned a lot about myself. Especially about my patience level. It’s too damn high,” he said with a self-deprecating laugh.
Holly laughed with him before covering his hand with hers. “There’s something you need to know though. While we were together I never consciously thought we couldn’t have a future because of Dylan.”
“I knew that or else I would have given you an ultimatum much sooner. I take it you two are back together?”
“I don’t know what we are.” She grimaced, unsure how to explain. “He went back to L.A.,” she said, deciding that since he was asking, she’d talk to John. Old habits, she mused. They had been close, and she’d always confided in him.
“I caught the morning’s news,” he said, the implication clear.
Besides, Holly knew they watched the same channel. “Interesting stuff, huh?” She ducked her head in embarrassment.
“Is it true?” John touched her shoulder, forcing her to look up, then pinned her with his steady gaze.
“No.” She shook her head. “No, it’s not.”
“You trust Dylan enough to say that with such certainty?”
She nodded, no hesitation in her heart.
“Then why are you in such a bad mood?” John leaned back against the couch, relaxing as they talked like old friends.
Which they were, she thought, feeling more settled than she had in a while. And he was right. She was in an awful mood.
“It sounds like you two finally have everything going for you, no?”
“Yes. No. I don’t know. He lives in L.A. Not only is it across the country, but his lifestyle, the people in it, they’re Hollywood. I’m small town. What kind of chance do we have?” she asked, expressing all of her doubts and fears.
Not all, a tiny voice in her head chided her.
“Listen to me,” John said. “You have exactly the kind of chance that you want. If you’re looking for excuses to bail on Dylan, I know you can be the master of avoidance. But if you want a future, you’re going to have to trust him.”
“I do!” She narrowed her gaze. “Didn’t I just finish telling you I was certain the gossip about Melanie isn’t true?”
“And that’s a start. It’s just not everything. When’s he due back?”
She shrugged. “He didn’t say. He just promised he’d return.”
“Then I guess it’s up to you whether you believe him or you’re going to let one mistake the guy made ten years ago ruin any future you two could have.” In that one sentence, John nailed Holly’s last remaining fear.
That Dylan would up and leave her again the way he had before. The last time, he didn’t know what he was running to. He had only the idea of fame and fortune beckoning to him. Now, ten years later, he knew what kind of lifestyle awaited him in Hollywood. He was America’s favorite movie star.
For how long would he be content with his hometown girl?
She blinked, her eyes burning. “When did you get to be so wise?” she asked John.
“About the time I realized we were over.” His lips pulled into a thin tight line.
She had to bite the inside of her cheek to keep from apologizing again. “What about you?” She asked. “Are you going to be okay?”
He nodded with certainty. “I definitely saw this coming. I’ve been thinking about moving to Boston,” he said, surprising her.
“Really?”
“Yep. There’s more of a social life there, and since I do want to settle down with the right person, I need more exposure.”
“I think the women in the city had better watch out,” she said, laughing.
He winked at her, assuring her that he really was going to be just fine.
Would she? Her heart caught in her chest because she realized she would miss him as her friend. “I admire you for making the decision and going after what you want in life.”
He brushed a kiss on her cheek. “I’d like to be able to say the same thing about you. Think about what I just said, Holly.”
She forced a smile. “I will.”
In the coming days, with Dylan gone, she’d have plenty of time to focus on her
life and make a decision about whether she was ready to put her heart on the line again. Or whether she could live with herself if she chose not to even try.
Three days passed in which Holly kept busy. She saw patients and readied the office for her new partner. She’d been using the extra room for personal storage, and she needed to clear her things out before the first of the year, when Dr. Tollgate started working. After tackling the boxes and moving them into her own office, she began dusting the bookshelves and desk. She found that keeping busy also helped her think. Office cleaning was akin to clearing her mind and facing what she needed and wanted out of life. What she wanted from Dylan.
He had called her two or three times a day since he’d been gone, testament to his desire to prove he’d changed. That he wasn’t leaving her behind—if not without a thought, then without another word for ten years. She didn’t know what more he had in mind for them, but she understood that she had to come to terms with her own feelings before he returned.
She shook her head. Her feelings weren’t the issue. She loved Dylan. The problem lay with her insecurity. John had called her on it, and she knew he was right.
The door chimes startled her. Wondering if there was an emergency, she headed for the outer room to see who was there. She opened the door, looked around but saw no one. She was about to go back inside when she glanced down. A large manila envelope sat at her door. Inside was a map, a set of directions to what appeared to be someplace about half an hour outside of town and a note. In Dylan’s handwriting.
Heart pounding, she stepped back into the office so she could read the letter to herself aloud. “I promised I’d be back, and here I am.” She licked her dry lips before continuing. “I can’t change the past, but I hope to alter the future. Stop running and meet me. If you dare.”
If she dared. She shook her head, laughing and trembling at the same time. Leave it to Dylan to challenge her in the most basic way.
It was simple really. Either she trusted or she didn’t. Melanie’s fake announcement and her own reaction to it had proven to Holly that she believed in him. Now it was time to question whether she trusted herself.
Before now she’d never have pegged herself as an insecure person. Yet she was forced to admit that when it came to men and relationships, she was a complete weenie, and those insecurities dated back to Dylan’s departure ten years ago. After he left, she had thrown herself into her studies. Once she’d recovered and started dating again, she’d chosen safe men, none of whom affected her emotions and none of whom gave her that sexual zing she felt with Dylan. They were all good, decent men but posed no threat to her heart.
But now Dylan was back, and he was definitely a threat, not just to the heart she’d taken such good care of, but to everything she’d become as a person. She’d always considered herself confident and capable; after all, she was a doctor who’d been making decisions about her patients for years. What about herself and choices on her own behalf?
She glanced down at the note in her shaking hands. Stop running and meet me. If you dare.
Did she dare? She could easily offer Dylan North her heart and maybe even trust in his promise to handle both it and her with care. But was she secure enough in herself to believe she could hold on to him this time?
There it was, her biggest fear exposed.
She could run and never know the happiness she felt certain Dylan could provide, or she could shut the door on the past forever and believe in herself at last. Holly closed the extra office door, and aware of the symbolism, she locked it up tight.
Then she straightened her shoulders, decision made. Damn straight she was secure enough to handle Dylan now. If not, she wasn’t the person she thought she was.
And she’d worked too hard and come too far not to believe in the woman Dr. Holly Evans had become.
Snow covered the ground and big flakes began to fall. The longer Dylan stood on the property he’d own as soon as the legalities had been finalized, the more time he had to convince himself that Holly wouldn’t show.
He trusted Nicole to deliver the directions, so he didn’t think that was the problem. No, if anything, Holly was still unsure whether she could believe in him again. He’d done everything in his power to convince her. The decision was hers to make.
He rubbed his hands together and shoved them into his jacket pocket. Closing his eyes, he envisioned the house he wanted to build on this land. The only thing was that when he pictured a wife to come home to, it was Holly he saw there. Their children playing in the yard.
In his heart he knew she shared those dreams, and he couldn’t make himself believe she’d let them down.
“Hi, Dylan.”
At first he thought he was imagining the sound of her soft voice until he opened his eyes. She stood before him bundled in a puffy down jacket, scarf and a hat with a small brim. Her eyes were wide and curious.
He was just damn glad to see her. “Hey, babe. Merry Christmas.”
She smiled before she shocked him big-time by throwing herself into his arms. Dylan wasn’t stupid, and he held on tight. “I missed you,” he whispered in her ear.
“I missed you too.” She stepped back and studied his face. “Where are we?”
This was it, he thought. The beginning or the end. “It’s home.” He gestured around the wide expanse of land. “Five acres of grass and trees. Of course, it needs a house and some other necessary things, like a dog and a few kids.”
He tried to shoot her a cocky grin but failed. Everything he wanted out of life was on the line, and for the first time, his charm, looks and fame couldn’t give it to him.
Only she could.
A dog? Kids? “Home?” Holly asked, stunned.
She blinked and glanced around. The land looked the same as much of the landscape she’d passed while driving out here. A beautiful white landscape covered in snow and ice while the sun shone overhead.
“I own it, or I will once the contract is signed. Actually—” He paused, obviously uncomfortable.
Her heart thudded so loud she was surprised he couldn’t hear. He’d bought land here?
“Actually what?” Her voice cracked, she was so afraid of what came next. It was ridiculous being afraid of happiness, but it had been so long since she’d dared to hope or dream.
“Actually, I want us to own it. You and me.” He grabbed on to her hands and held them in front of her. “I want to live here and raise our kids here.”
“What about L.A.? Your life? Your career?”
He smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes. “I’ve thought this through, you know. This wasn’t an impulse buy. I want you to take some time off and come with me to L.A., so you can see my life and friends for yourself. I want you to be a part of everything that I do.”
She swallowed hard, daring to believe. Meeting him here had been the first step. Now she listened with an open heart as well as an open mind. “Go on.”
“Then we come back here to live. I’ll leave only for movie shoots and, honest to God, I’d planned on cutting back. Doing only what appeals to me creatively because financially I’m already set for life. I’ll be here with you as often as I can, and you’ll come to me when you can take the time. We can make this work. You just need to believe.”
Tears dripped down her cheeks, practically turning to ice before they fell. She grasped his face in her hands and looked into his gorgeous blue eyes.
“You have no idea what your leaving the first time did to me. I withdrew, Dylan. I didn’t get involved with another man who I thought could hurt me the way you did.”
A muscle ticked in his jaw as he listened and replied. “I’m not sure I like where this is headed.”
“Shh.” She placed her finger over his lips. “You need to hear this as much as I need to say it.”
He nodded slowly.
“But I also realize now that there isn’t another man who could hurt me that way because there’s no one I could ever love the way I love you.”
He sucked in a deep breath, and when he released it, a puff of white hovered in the air. “I love you too. I never stopped, not even after I left.”
“I know that now.”
He brushed at her tears. “We were so young, and I was so stupid.”
She shook her head. “We needed to follow the paths we did. It made us who we are.”
“And who are we?” he asked.
“Two people who found their way back to each other.” She laughed. “Or rather, you found me again. Either way I’m not stupid enough to turn you away.” She pulled him into a long, deep kiss, savoring the warmth of his mouth and how he devoured her, as if he could never get enough.
She knew she’d never get enough of him.
Too soon, he pulled back. “You realize there’ll be times I’m gone for weeks, maybe months at a time?”
She nodded.
“And you need to trust that while I’m gone, I’m still with you in here.” He patted the place above his heart. “You have to know I’ll be back, and you need to remember there’s no one else but you.” His deep gaze never left hers. “No matter what you see, hear or read. Can you do that?”
She nodded again. “Dylan, I love you. It’s always been you. And not only do I trust you with my heart, I trust you to remind me not to be an idiot if those old insecurities ever arise.” Because she was only human and understood she couldn’t promise not to be.
Dylan met her gaze, and in her eyes, he saw everything he was, everything he desired and everything he wanted to be. “Babe, I can do that. I can do anything as long as I have you. And that angel I gave back to you? It was because I want it to top our tree. Because you’re my Midnight Angel.”
She grinned and planted a kiss on his lips. One that was warm, hot, giving and went on and on and on….
Epilogue
New England Express
Daily Dirt Column
(Taken from Entertainment Weekly) Hollywood heartthrob Dylan North tied the knot on New Year’s Day, but not with his former flame, Melanie Masterson, as previously reported. Ms. Masterson was secluded on an island retreat while Dylan North wed hometown girl and first love, Dr. Holly Evans. The two pulled off the coup of the new year, marrying in a private ceremony at a small catering hall called Whipporwill’s in Acton, Massachusetts. As of now, details are sketchy, but this reporter was promised an exclusive, complete with wedding photographs of the bride and groom after they return from their honeymoon. One guest who couldn’t contain her excitement reported that the desserts were all topped with Marshmallow Fluff.
Holiday Heat Page 12