by Liliana Hart
“I bet he did.” Jack stood up. A grey, hazy light was starting to peak over the city, and he knew it wouldn’t be long before traffic started to pick up.
“Did he want to know only about me, or did he mention other names?”
“He said something about an Edgar Harris, but you were our priority.”
“What’s your name?”
“Brian Kirby.”
“Today’s your lucky day, Kirby. Go back to Mr. Kimball and tell him that if he wants to tangle with me, then he needs to have the guts to do it himself. Tell him I’ll be waiting for him.”
Jack stepped over the dead guy and headed out of the alley. One of his damned ribs was cracked, and he’d need stitches in his arm, but the important thing was he had information to give to Ethan to put in that amazing computer of his. Brian Kirby had just given him part of the pieces to the puzzle.
The good news was they were making someone out there really nervous. People who were nervous made big mistakes. And people who made big mistakes ended up dead.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
Gabe waited until the water went off and Grace was out of the sight before going to take his own shower. Her words pounded through him over and over again until all he could hear was the accusing tone of her voice in his mind.
Had he been too involved in agency work to pay attention to what was happening with his family? He knew he’d started to shut down that last year of their marriage. Living a double life had taken its toll on him. Life among terrorists and human beings of the lowest life form was a cruel and terrible existence, and the only bright spot in his life had been Grace and Maddie. And he hadn’t wanted them to be touched by the other life he was having to live.
Despite it all, he and Grace had somehow made their marriage work. Or at least he thought they had. When one of them was away on assignment, the other was always at home with Maddie. But his time with Tussad, and what the CIA wanted Gabe to do within Sayad’s organization, had made him pull away from the goodness that waited for him at home. He had a duty to his country. That had been drilled into him from an early age, and he was glad to do it. Proud to do it. But he’d had a duty to Grace as well—the most basic being to love, honor, and cherish. Somewhere along the way he’d failed miserably.
And when Maddie had died and Grace had left, he’d closed in on himself. Grace spoke the truth when she blamed him. He blamed himself. If he hadn’t been working with Tussad, then Maddie would still be alive. He couldn’t even blame the CIA for giving him the job—he’d been eager to take it, eager to see the terrorist finally brought to justice.
But things had gone terribly wrong, and he and Grace had each wallowed in their own fear and anguish and guilt until something else formed—something unhealthy and consuming. It had obviously affected Grace differently than it had affected him, and he needed to do whatever it took to fix it. She was hurting. And she wasn’t healthy. If she wanted him out of her life after she was better, then so be it. But he owed it to her to help with the healing. He owed it to both of them because he needed to heal too.
He ducked his head under the hot spray and let the water soothe his sore muscles. He thought of Grace and how she’d felt around him, and his body automatically hardened. She’d felt better than he’d remembered. And he couldn’t help but wonder if she’d found comfort and solace with another man over the last two years. Jealousy consumed him, and he closed his eyes and blanked his mind against the faceless man he saw in his imagination. He needed to get a grip.
Gabe turned off the water with an agitated flick of the wrist and wrapped a towel around his waist. He brushed his teeth but was too tired to bother with shaving. The beard would have to stay a little longer. When he opened the door into the bedroom area, he saw Grace lying on her side, facing away from him. She was burrowed under the covers, so only the flame of her hair showed against the white of the sheets.
He dropped the towel and slid in next to her, pulling her against him so their naked bodies spooned together. He buried his face in the scent of her hair and drifted off to sleep.
* * *
Grace woke up slowly—and somewhere familiar. The heat of flesh was wrapped around her in a comfortable cocoon, and she sighed with contentment before realization struck her and her muscles tensed.
“Relax,” Gabe whispered in her ear. His breath was hot across her neck, and his hand splayed possessively over her stomach.
She let out a slow breath and didn’t fight against his hold. It felt too good. “I’m not strong enough for this anymore, Gabe.”
“For what?”
“For anything. The job. You.”
“You’re the strongest person I’ve ever known, Grace. But everyone needs a little help now and then.”
“Not you. You’ve never seemed to need help with anything.” Or from anyone, she added silently.
“Not true.” He pulled her closer and burrowed into her softness. Grace wondered if anyone else knew that the most dangerous man in the world liked to snuggle. Her heart pounded in her chest, and something inside her felt so full she thought she’d burst from it. She wanted to tell him the rest of it. What else had happened after Maddie’s death and their estrangement, but she didn’t have the courage. She didn’t want his pity. And she didn’t want to see how the news affected him.
“Touch me, Gabe” she begged. “Make me feel. It’s been so long since I felt anything but cold.”
Gabe dropped his head against her and groaned. His fingers tightened against her stomach, and his erection stirred against her ass.
“Not fair, Grace. I’m trying to be good here.”
“Just once more. Please, Gabe. Make me warm.”
He ran light kisses over her shoulders and in the hollow of her neck. She turned over onto her back so he loomed over her, and she wrapped her arms around him, bringing him closer. She smoothed his unruly hair back from his forehead and looked deep into the blue of his eyes.
“I want this,” she said, lowering her hand until she grasped his hard cock. “And you want this too.”
Grace lifted up and took his mouth in a hot kiss that promised a fast and furious coupling. She gripped his shoulders hard and scissored her legs to get him into the position she craved, but he softened the kisses, making each one slow and steady, nibbling his way across her body, and driving her absolutely crazy.
“What are you doing? I want it faster. I need you inside me now.”
“And I want it slower. Believe me, we’ll both get to the same place eventually.” He whispered the words against her skin, causing her to shiver.
Grace shook her head in denial. He was going too slowly. Giving her too much time to think. She needed him hot and hard and fast, and she moved under him frantically, trying to bend him to her will. She squeezed his hardness in her hand and began pumping him up and down.
“I don’t think so,” Gabe said, grabbing her hand and anchoring it with his own. “If you do that, this will be over much too fast.”
“That’s the idea.” She didn’t recognize the throaty purr when she spoke. He was doing this all wrong. He kissed his way to her lips, his mouth soft and moist against her. The kiss was sweet—loving—as he stroked the inside of her mouth with his tongue. He didn’t give her room to evade, to shield herself from everything it meant. She lost herself in the kiss, the room spinning around her in delirium as she didn’t know which way was up, only that Gabe was her anchor in the storm.
He moved from her mouth and trailed wet kisses lower, stopping to savor the taste of each nipple. Circling the stiffened peaks with his tongue and sucking gently, making her cry out as each suckle pulled at something low in her womb. He kissed his way even lower, leaving a wet trail.
“Stop it, Gabe. This isn’t what I want.” She pushed against his head, but he wouldn’t be deterred.
“Just stop thinking and enjoy.” He swirled his tongue in the dip of her belly button and then lower into the moist curls between her thighs.
“I’ve alw
ays loved the way you tasted,” he said, inhaling the scent of her arousal. “Sweet, like honey. God, you’re so wet and ready for me.”
His mouth clamped over her clit and she couldn’t help the moan that tore from her throat. He was relentless, and his tongue flicked across the nub unmercifully until she was screaming with pleasure. She buried her fingers in his hair and rode the wave that pushed her over the edge.
She fell back limply on the bed, her body slicked with a light sheen of sweat. Her heart thudded in her chest, and colors danced behind her closed eyes. She shivered again as she felt the flat of his tongue licking her slowly like a cat with a bowl of cream. The heat started to build again.
“I can’t take any more,” she pleaded.
“Liar.” He grabbed her ass with both hands and lifted her to his mouth like a starving man at a banquet table, and he devoured her until she was begging for mercy. Her climax slammed through her, and it was still going strong as he moved over her and pushed inside the pulsing walls of her pussy.
“Fuck, you’re tight.”
Grace was incapable of speech. She’d been making love to this man for almost a decade, and she’d never felt anything like what was happening to her now. Her body was no longer her own, just as she knew Gabe’s body no longer belonged to him. They were truly melded—mind, body and spirit.
He grabbed her hips and changed the angle, thrusting deep so the tip of his cock hit against her womb. An orgasm rolled through her again, and her legs tightened around him, holding him closer. He thrust against her one last time before she felt him swell and release his seed inside of her.
She didn’t remember falling asleep.
* * *
Grace didn’t know how long she slept or what time it was. She just knew that when she woke, she was still in Gabe’s arms. It felt good to be there, but she didn’t deserve anything good in her life, so she moved out of his grasp as punishment to herself.
He ignored her movement and pulled her back against him, rubbing her head gently and tangling their legs together.
“It was my fault.” She could barely get the words past her dry throat as she broke the silence between them.
“What?” Gabe asked, leaning over her so he could see her face.
Her eyes were dry. She didn’t think there were any more tears left in her.
“Maddie’s death was my fault. I should have known we were being watched. It was my job to know. But we went to the park that day anyway. I wanted to spend some more time with her because I’d been given a job in South America, and I was supposed to leave the next day. Whoever took the shot was good. I didn’t hear the report until she was already down, and by then it was too late.”
Gabe stroked her back, and she slowed her breathing, trying to get the images from that day out of her mind. “I kept waiting for my turn. I kept hoping for it as I held her. But the second shot never came, and I knew that living was going to be its own kind of death. Everything I’d been trained for failed me that day. I never even noticed them.”
“Believe me, Grace. Tussad can afford to hire the best. You can’t blame yourself for this. Sometimes bad things just happen, and you can’t question why. I liked it a lot better when you were putting the blame on my shoulders.”
She tried to smile, but her face seemed frozen. “I wanted to blame you. You were the most convenient target. But it wasn’t your fault. I understand the burden you carry with your job, Gabe. I didn’t want to understand at that time, but someone has to do it. And no one’s better at it than you are.”
“If Tussad hadn’t found out I was undercover, none of this would have happened.”
“I’ve stopped trying to play the ‘What if’ game. Nothing will bring her back. I don’t know if I can finish this job with you. I’m no good anymore. My instincts are off, and Ethan was right. I’m no better than a mercenary, though I do have my standards as to who I’ll work for.”
“I know that. I’ve been keeping track of you the last couple of years.”
“I needed the money the side jobs brought. I couldn’t afford to pay my contacts to keep track of Tussad. He moves so frequently, and I had to make sure I’d be told whenever he surfaced. But every lead I’ve gotten has been a dead end.”
“I know, baby. I understand why you’ve made the choices you have. You don’t have anything to justify to anyone.”
“But I’m not the same person I was, Gabe. You saw what happened back in Iran. I never know when it’s going to happen. Anything can set it off—a group of schoolchildren walking down the street, a family having a picnic. Making it through a job without losing focus is rare. I know it’s dangerous, but I can’t seem to find the strength to care.”
She longed to tell him what had finally sent her over the edge, and the words were almost on the tip of her tongue before he spoke.
“Do you know the reason I really left the agency?”
Grace turned partially over onto her back so she could face him. Her nipples rubbed against the soft mat of his chest hair, and she found the familiarity of it bittersweet.
“Why?” she asked.
“Because I stopped caring. I started taking ops that were no more than suicide missions. I had to have that element of danger that made me think, this will be the one that finally kills me. It was the only way I could feel alive.”
“And now?”
“Forming The Collective has kept me busy. I’ve worked eighteen-hour days for the past year so I wouldn’t have to remind myself that I should be dead. To remind myself that I can’t kill Tussad if I’m six feet under.”
“You have to promise me something, Gabe.” Grace could tell by the stiffening of Gabe’s body and the hard look that came into his eyes that he already knew what she was going to say.
“No, I won’t do it. We go in together and we come out together. Those are the rules.”
“No, Gabe. This is what the rest of my life is meant for. I know it with certainty. I will gladly trade my life for Tussad’s. You have to promise me that when it’s time to take him out, that I go it alone. If I don’t make it, you have to swear you won’t jeopardize your own life by trying to get me out. What you do is too important to risk yourself.”
“Shut up, Grace. I’m not even going to have this discussion. I’d never send anyone on my team on a suicide mission.” Gabe sat up on the side of the bed and ran his fingers through his hair. “We’re all worth too much, not just me. I swear to you we’ll find a way to get to Tussad. It might take some time, but we’ll get him. You’ve got to trust me on this.”
Gabe couldn’t mask the hurt in his eyes as she hesitated in her response. She didn’t mean to hurt him. Didn’t want to hurt him. But she wasn’t sure she was capable of trust anymore after everything she’d been through.
He blew out an impatient breath and got out of bed, rummaging through the closet for clean clothes. Her breath caught at the beauty of his naked body.
“You were asleep before I got to tell you before,” he said. “We’re headed to Boston. Ethan tracked Dr. Standridge there.” Gabe pulled on underwear, fresh cargo pants, and another black T-shirt while she stared at him in silence. “You’re going to have to put your acting skills to the test once we get there. Wear the green silk dress. Standridge won’t know what hit him.”
Gabe buckled his high-tech watch around his left wrist and looked at the time. Grace wished she knew the right words to say. What she could do to do to make things right.
“Gabe,” she said, her voice barely a whisper. “I thought you’d understand.”
He shook his head. “The only thing I understand is that I love you and I don’t want you dead. We have a couple more hours till we land. Try to get some more sleep.”
He closed the bedroom door behind him quietly, and Grace winced at the amount of control he used to make sure it shut quietly. There was no way in hell she’d be getting any more sleep. Restless thoughts invaded her mind, and for the first time in two years, her goals were being altered. She
couldn’t afford to let Gabe make her wish for things that weren’t possible. She had a score to settle, and nothing would stand in her way. Not even Gabe.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
“Where the hell am I supposed to put my gun in this dress?” Grace asked her reflection in the full-length mirror that hung on the back of the bathroom door. She looked at her Sig and then back at the miniscule dress in irritation.
The green silk plunged in the front and the back. It fit like a second skin, and it barely covered all the parts that needed to be covered. It emphasized all the curves she’d thought she’d lost over the last couple of years, and it made her breasts look spectacular. She was pretty sure that wearing this dress on the street would be illegal in some states.
She slipped into a pair of black stilettos that were going to make her feet scream with agony by the end of the night, and she finally settled on dropping her Sig into an oversized black handbag.
“I’ve got a problem here, Gabe,” she called out.
He’d occupied himself by keeping as far away from her as possible for the remainder of the flight. They’d each needed a little space after what had happened between them. She hadn’t been able to go back to sleep as he’d suggested, though. She’d lain in bed with her eyes open, her mind a symphony of memories overdubbed by Gabe’s words.
It didn’t take her long to come to the realization that leaning on Gabe and trusting him again was asking for more heartache. He would always see the final outcome of any mission in his head first—decide on the right course to take and act on it—before any of the rest of the team had a chance to catch up. It was a gift he’d always possessed. If Gabe said a mission would be successful, then it would be. Plain and simple. He could blend in anywhere, a chameleon for every climate and any country.
Gabe had promised her that Tussad would be taken down. But he’d promised her things before. He’d promised he’d love her and their daughter forever and protect them both. There were some promises that were just impossible to keep.