Niki cursed under her breath. She was making a big deal out of something that she shouldn’t. This wasn’t necessarily about Rory missing Shannon or about Rory feeling neglected lately. It could simply be that she liked Eva. That she liked the attention Eva was giving her. I can’t make her feel guilty over this.
“It’s all right, honey. I didn’t mean to make you feel bad. I’m glad you like Eva.”
Rory brightened. “You do?”
“Yes. I do.” She smiled at Jenny, who nodded in agreement.
“Good, ’cuz she said I could sit with her in the stands tomorrow when you guys play her team.”
Great, Niki thought.
“Mom? How come you and Eva broke up a long time ago?”
Niki signaled the waiter for the check. “That, my dear, is a conversation for another time. I have to get to work, okay?”
“Eva told me she’s never forgotten you.”
Niki’s heart thundered in her ears like a low-flying jet plane. She’d never forgotten Eva either, but not forgetting someone didn’t have to mean anything more than that. The hopeful glint in Rory’s eyes was evidence that the girl wasn’t mature enough to understand such things yet.
“Well,” Niki said casually. “Friends shouldn’t forget each other, right?”
What else, she wondered, had Eva said about her.
* * *
Eva lined up her pool cue and broke the triangular formation of balls. She loved the sound of the sharp crack as the balls careened into one another, followed by the soft snick when one slid into a pocket. She’d spent a lot of time around pool tables during the many months and years of rehabbing injuries. Playing pool had always provided a calming distraction.
A few of her teammates crowded around the table. They were at a bowling alley that featured as many pool tables as bowling lanes, and the team was making use of both activities as a way to unwind and relax before tomorrow’s tilt against Team Canada. None of the women was drinking more than a single beer—Eva saw to that. She knew from experience that the body only performs according to how it’s been treated, that if you disrespect it, it’ll let you down every time.
While waiting for her next shot, she noticed two of her defensemen and her center, Dani, whispering furiously in a corner, huddled over a cell phone, twittering like grade schoolers.
Eva insinuated herself between them. “What’s the big secret, ladies?”
Dani struggled to pocket the phone while the others shuffled from foot to foot, avoiding eye contact with Eva. “Nothing,” she said flatly. “Just some rumors I heard about Canada trying out a new breakout strategy on us tomorrow.”
Eva narrowed her eyes at Dani. “Really? And where did you hear that?”
Dani grinned, the secret ready to burst from her like a dam being breeched. “Word around the rink, that’s all. Wanna know what it is?”
“No. If the information is important—and accurate—Coach will tell us before the game.” She refused to get sucked into gossiping about her opponent or second-guessing them. It was a good way to get mind-fucked about a game before you even hit the ice. “How do you know somebody’s not messing with you?”
“They aren’t,” Dani said, holding firm.
“Well, I’d be careful about believing that kind of information. If it’s wrong, you’ll look awfully foolish chasing ghosts around the ice. You’ll be out of position and scrambling to catch up. Best to worry about yourself and your own play.”
The trio nodded politely, but it was the kind of indulgent politeness you gave your crazy old aunt at a family dinner. As they shuffled off, they stole a look back at Eva, their expressions saying they didn’t believe her. Well, hell, Eva thought. Of course they think they know better. I did too when I was their age.
Her cell phone chimed an incoming text. When she saw it was from Niki her stomach sprouted butterflies.
Thanks for taking Rory to the HOF. She had a great time and hasn’t stopped talking about it!
Eva thumbed the keypad of her phone.
It was fun, I had a blast. She’s a great kid!
It took a couple of minutes for Eva’s phone to chime again.
My kid has a huge girl crush on you! ;)
Nice! Eva texted, insanely thrilled. How about her mom?
No response. Eva took her pool shot, then another because she was on a roll. When her turn finally expired she checked her phone again. Nothing. Her heart sank. Dammit! She’d gone too far with her last comment. What had she been thinking? She was only teasing, but it was obvious Niki wasn’t amused.
If she were honest with herself, she was pushing Niki’s buttons for a reason. She wanted—needed—for the two of them to talk about what happened all those years ago. And she needed Niki to tell her how she felt, not philosophize about what went wrong and why, like they were dissecting a new hockey drill. Had Niki ever been sorry, sad about their breakup? Did she feel something, anything, about Eva now that they were regularly bumping into one another? Not attraction, and certainly not love, but maybe some regret for how things had gone down? A shared feeling that they’d both been foolish and hasty? That they’d never given the proper closure to their relationship? Even an expression of anger that she’d wasted her youth on Eva would be better than this…this…we’re-sort-of-friends-but-not-really attitude. On the other hand, maybe digging up the past was a mistake that could only lead to more arguments, more blame. Either way, it wouldn’t change anything.
“Your turn, Cruzie.”
Eva stepped back to the pool table, determined more than ever that she needed to let this thing with Niki go.
Chapter Eleven
Unsportsmanlike Conduct
Niki raised the glass of Chablis to her lips and took a bird-like sip. She always advised her players to never consume more than one drink the night before a game, and the rules applied to her too. She was not the kind of coach who preached one thing and practiced another.
Jenny poured herself a second glass from the bottle. The two sisters-in-law sat at the small table for two in Niki’s room, while Rory slept in the adjoining room.
“It really is harmless, Nik.”
“Sorry, what?” Niki was thinking ahead to tomorrow’s game against Team USA, worrying at the details of her new breakout strategy. She hadn’t let her team use the techniques all weekend because she wanted to spring it on the Americans tomorrow. If it worked, it would give her opponent one more thing to worry about.
“Rory’s little crush on Eva Caruso.”
“Oh. That.” So Jenny had noticed too.
“I can tell it worries you, and it shouldn’t.” Jenny had a level head about her, and she’d been very close to Shannon.
“I don’t want her getting attached to someone she’s never going to see again after the Games are over, that’s all.”
“Really? That’s all?”
Niki absently swirled the remaining wine in her glass. Of course her feelings on the matter were more complicated than that. “Rory has me. And you and Tim and Stevie. Isn’t that enough?”
Jenny sat back in her chair and coolly appraised Niki with eyes eerily similar to Shannon’s. “Sorry, but I’m going to be blunt here. You know what I really think this is about? I think Rory’s feelings about Eva mirror your own. And that’s the part that scares the hell out of you.”
“Oh, please. Eva and I were finished a long time ago. We were oil and water. Still are, from what I can tell.”
“It’s been over three years, Niki. It’s okay to be attracted to someone else. And it’s okay to act on that attraction. Shannon wouldn’t want you to be alone forever. We both know that. And I know for a fact Shannon told you as much.”
The prick of tears behind Niki’s eyes came as an unwelcome surprise. It wasn’t that being around Eva made her feel guilty that she was in some way being unfaithful to Shannon. It was Eva, in fact, who had come first, Eva who had been her first and most intense love—something that Shannon had always been mildly jealous of, though
she either suppressed it or made light of it. What bothered Niki was people’s reluctance to respect her self-imposed aversion to thinking romantically about another woman. Why couldn’t people understand that she wasn’t ready yet? And why did they think they knew better? Truth was, she didn’t need or want anyone’s permission, but it wasn’t worth doing battle with her sister-in-law.
“No, Jen. I don’t want to fall in love with anyone again. It’s too…hard.”
“It doesn’t have to be. It wasn’t so hard with Shannon, was it?”
That part was true. She and Shannon had slid easily into one another’s life, like a hand fitting into a glove. They were comfortable together, didn’t fight or disagree very often. Theirs was a drama-free, peaceful equanimity, and it was exactly what Niki needed at the time, and it was especially needed because they were raising a daughter together. She swallowed another mouthful of wine for courage. “Do you think she loved me, Jen? I mean, really loved me?”
“Of course she did.” Jenny grasped her hand on the table and squeezed it. “Why do you doubt that?”
“It was good with us, don’t get me wrong. We both needed the tranquil life we made together. But there weren’t a lot of fireworks, you know?”
“Like there were between you and Eva?”
“I guess.” Niki hated that they were having this conversation and yet she was relieved too. “Look, there’s nothing to talk about with Eva and me. We’re barely friends, and that’s all we’ll ever be.” She wished she could stop comparing Eva to Shannon, wished she could stop analyzing the way each woman made her feel, because the whole exercise was stupid and pointless. Neither woman was in her life anymore. What only mattered now was Rory and these damned Olympic Games; everything else was inconsequential. “How’s Rory been doing in my absence? Are you sure she’s okay?”
“She’s more than okay. She’s loving the change of scene at our place, and she loves the fact that you’re in the news at least once a week and on the sports highlights on TV. She’s proud of you. And I think she’s really happy you’re getting on and doing what you do best.”
Maybe she hadn’t given Rory—and herself—enough credit for their ability to finally adapt and grow beyond their grief. Because as much as she hated being apart from Rory, joining Team Canada had given her life purpose again. And had given her a sense of pride in herself and in her work. “Good. That’s a huge relief to me. And I can’t thank you and Tim enough.”
Jenny stood and smiled. “You don’t need to thank us, we’re family. And we want you and Rory to be happy. I mean that.”
“Thank you, Jenny.” Niki hugged her sister-in-law goodnight. It wasn’t terribly late, but she needed to be up early tomorrow to prepare for the afternoon game. And then it was a red-eye flight back to Calgary, while Jenny and Rory would catch a Monday morning flight to Windsor.
“Oh, about the game tomorrow,” Jenny said, halfway to the door that separated Niki’s room from the room Jenny shared with Rory. “You’re okay with Rory having invited Eva to sit with us in the stands?”
Niki didn’t have the energy to be upset. She threw up her hands in resignation and grinned. “Fine. Just don’t let Eva give her anymore Team USA jerseys and pucks and crap. I don’t want that kid getting her loyalties mixed up.”
Jenny laughed. “I’ll make sure of it.”
* * *
Eva handed the bag of buttered popcorn to Rory before turning her full attention to the play on the ice fourteen rows below them. Both teams were locked in step, trading back-and-forth plays, matching one another’s shots on net. As the first period ground on, Canada was being hemmed in its own end more and more, pinned there helplessly while Team USA leapt into the passing lanes and jumped on Canadian players to create turnovers. A quick glance across the ice at Niki told her how frustrated she was. She paced behind the bench, her jaw clenched. Something had clearly gone off the rails.
A minute before the buzzer signaled the first intermission, Eva excused herself and made her way down to her team’s locker room. Scratched players watched games from the stands but were expected to spend the intermissions with their team, in case they could impart any helpful advice.
The smell of sweat hit her like a wall. Damp gloves and soggy shin pads were the worst. Funny, Eva thought, how you never notice the smell when you are one of the offenders.
“Good job on preventing those breakouts,” Alison was saying to the players. The private look she flashed at Dani failed to escape Eva’s attention. “Now that they don’t have a clue how to get out of their own end, I want shots on their net. Lots of them. Got it? Put everything on the net and make sure someone’s in place for the rebounds.”
Alison nodded at Eva. “Cruzie, anything you’re seeing out there?” It was a team bonding ritual to refer to one another by their goofy nicknames.
“Not really. We’re doing a really good job at being first on the puck. And I’ve never seen us pin them in their end so badly. Good job, women.”
Alison left the room to let the players talk among themselves. Loudly, they replayed all the things they’d done right in the period, reliving the glory moments. Eva slid onto the bench next to Dani.
“So,” she said quietly so the others wouldn’t hear, “did you really know ahead of time how Team Canada was going to get out of their end? Was it more than just innocent gossip around the rink? Huh?”
A tiny smirk curled Dani’s lips, and Eva wanted to smack it off her. “You said yourself last night not to believe any of that kind of talk, so I didn’t. It was obvious to me early on that they were trying to get the puck to their centers, who were coming in deep to help, instead of sending it up the boards to their wingers.”
Dani wasn’t the most perceptive—or the brightest—on the team. Figuring it out on her own just seconds into the game was highly unlikely. So where the hell had she gotten her information? Was she involved in something that wasn’t aboveboard? Was she outright cheating? It was a disturbing thought, and it would be damned bad for the team if she was. Cheating could get them all expelled from the tournament. It was serious stuff, but an awfully big leap at this point. “Well, good on you, then.”
Eva returned to the stands in time for the start of the second period. Team USA came out hard and potted a goal—the first of the game—within the first minute.
“Uh-oh,” Rory complained. “Mom’s not gonna be happy about that.”
“No, I suppose she won’t,” Eva said distractedly, her eyes following every move on the ice. Canada was still having trouble breaking out, which meant their goalie and defensemen would be fatiguing. She thought about what advice she’d give her own team and what she’d tell Team Canada if she were their coach.
I’d tell my own team to keep their foot on the gas and to get another goal before the period ends. And if I were Niki I’d tell my defensemen to start skating the puck out, which would open things up. They just need to regroup, and having their defensemen skate the puck out instead of passing it would put my team on their heels.
Eva bled red, white and blue, but she almost felt sorry for Niki and her team. If they lost this game, it would seriously damage team morale. A pattern of losing was not a pretty thing, especially when you kept losing to the same team. It got in your head until you started thinking you couldn’t beat your opponent. Everyone knew the gold medal game would be between Canada and USA. They were the elite of women’s hockey, in a class all by themselves. If USA kept beating Canada in these pre-tournament games, it would be mentally devastating.
As the third period began, Eva noticed right away that Niki must have read her mind. Her defensemen were suddenly making the adjustment, skating the puck out of their end and surprising Team USA. It took only a few more minutes before they scored, knotting the game at a goal apiece. From there it was an evenly matched dogfight, and the game ended in a 1-1 tie. There would be no overtime or shootout, since it was only an exhibition game.
Eva threw her arm around Rory’s shoulders. “G
uess a draw is a good thing, right, kiddo? Because if your mom’s team lost, she probably wouldn’t let us hang out anymore.”
“Yeah,” Rory agreed. “And if your team lost, you wouldn’t want to be friends with us anymore either.”
Eva gave her a squeeze. “That’s not true. I promise I’ll be friends with you win or lose, okay?”
Fans began filtering away. Eva was about to usher Rory and Jenny down the stairs when she caught sight of Niki stomping her way toward them. It was not only unusual, but unheard of. Coaches always went immediately to the locker room for parting words to their team and a postgame debriefing.
“Mom!” Rory exclaimed. “What are you doing here?”
“Hi, honey. Jenny.” She locked eyes with Eva. Eyes that were hot coals. “Eva, can I talk to you for a minute?”
“Of course.” Eva excused herself and followed Niki to two empty seats a couple of rows up. Niki was breathing hard through her nose, and it wasn’t from the exertion.
“Did I do something wrong, Nik?” She couldn’t imagine what.
“I don’t know, is that your guilty conscience speaking?”
“What are you talking about?”
“How did your team know exactly how we were going to break out from the minute we hit the ice?”
“I have no idea. But I did notice right away you guys were trying something new. And that it wasn’t working.”
The grinding of Niki’s molars was as loud as a band saw. “We haven’t used it in other games before today, nor in any practices open to the public. Nobody outside our team knew we were going to try this. What the hell, Eva? Is Alison planting spies among us now? Hacking into my computer? What?”
“C’mon, that’s a little over the top, don’t you think?” They both knew Alison hadn’t met a scruple she liked. But spying? Hacking into computers? Alison was a win-at-all-costs jerk, but she wasn’t the Kremlin.
“Are you forgetting what she did to me—to us—right before Nagano?”
Ah, yes, the floppy disks. About time they got around to this long overdue conversation. “Look, I tried to tell you a long time ago that I was sorry I didn’t believe you when you said you had no idea how those stupid things got into your possession. But you didn’t exactly try very hard to deny it either. Of course Alison did a stupid, unforgivable thing planting those disks in your bag, but we didn’t handle it well. And that part’s on us.”
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