by Beth Rinyu
“What?” I played dumb, trying to stall for time to come up with a response.
“It’s written all over your face and I can’t believe that Gia has never picked up on it. You really love her, don’t you?”
“Of course I love her. Gia’s like my little sister.”
“Oh no, no….you can’t fool me man. You may be a superstar baseball player but I’m a cop, remember? Which, unfortunately for you, means that I know how to read people very well, and you, my man, are in love with her.” I ran my hand through my hair and let out a nervous chuckle, hoping that his police skills weren’t picking up on the fact that he may be right. “Look, I know it’s not really my business, but Cam, don’t be stupid like I was with Carrie, thinking you could fill that void with other women. Be straight up with her and let her know.”
I stood there speechless, knowing that he had just totally picked up on how I had been feeling for a while and didn’t want to admit, even to myself.
Carrie walked out of the bedroom breaking up the awkwardness. “Okay, Cam, I wrote down the time she has to take her antibiotic. I’m going to give her some Tylenol when she gets out of the shower and she only gets the painkillers if she’s in extreme pain. If she doesn’t need any by tomorrow, flush them down the toilet. I really hate those things….comes with my job, I’ve seen way too many people ruin their lives with them.” I shook my head and laughed at Carrie’s regimented attitude. She was the polar opposite of her sister.
“Got it Carrie! I promise your sister will be in very good hands.”
“I know!” she smiled.
Twenty-One
Gia
“Carrie, I can’t thank you and Jason enough for everything,” I said, as she helped me pull my shirt over my head.
“That’s what big sisters, by four minutes, are for.” She bragged.
She took the brush from my nightstand and brushed out my hair before pulling down the comforter on my bed for me to get in.
I lay down on my fresh clean sheets, finally feeling a little more human and moved over, tapping on the bed for her to lie down with me. “Did you have anything to do with Cam being here?”
“No. He called me the other day because he was worried about you.”
“Worried about me, how?”
“Because he hadn’t heard from you and thought something was wrong.”
“He’s such a sweetheart,” I whispered.
“Yeah, he is a great guy.” Carrie agreed. “He’s who you should be going after instead of wasting your time on all of these other assholes.”
“Carrie, he’s like our brother!”
“Yeah, so what…umm, look at Jason and me!” she giggled.
“Yeah, but that was different. You and Jason crushed on each other long before Mom and Ben got married. Besides, Cam would never want to be with someone like me.”
“What do you mean ‘someone like you’?”
“Umm…have you seen some of the girls he dates?”
“I have and you are just as, if not even more, beautiful and I bet none of those girls have your sparkling personality.”
I couldn’t help but smile. “Carrie?”
“Hmm?”
“The whole time I was pregnant, I kept thinking it was fate.” She looked at me strangely. “We were going to be pregnant together. We’d have our babies only months apart and they were going to be the best of friends just like us.” I could feel the familiar burn in my eyes as Carrie’s began to shine with tears. “What if I can’t get pregnant ever again after this Carrie?”
“You will Gia. You heard what your doctor said, your other tube is perfectly healthy. “You will get pregnant again, when the time is right.”
I feel so foolish for even worrying about something that I swore I would never want.
A huge smile stretched across Carrie’s face as she grabbed my hand and placed it on her belly. “The baby just moved.”
“It did?” She nodded, as I waited anxiously to see if it would happen again. I placed my hand on her stomach, then moved my head down to her tiny little baby bump. “Hey, baby. It’s Aunt Gia, can you let me know you’re there.” I spoke directly to her belly. It was only a matter of seconds before I felt a tiny little pulse. “Oh my god, Carrie! It moved.” I looked up at her and she nodded with a huge smile on her face. I placed my head back on her belly with tears spilling from my eyes. My sister had a tiny little miracle growing inside of her and although it made me happy to feel the movements of my niece or nephew, it also made me sad knowing that my baby never stood a chance. My head remained on her stomach and the baby continued to move almost as if it too was trying to tell me that everything was going to be okay.
***
The sweat was pouring off me as the stabbing in my incisions woke me up from my sleep. It was 3 a.m. and I was wide awake and in terrible pain. I shifted myself out of bed and got up slowly. The doctor had warned that the pain would set in in about 48 hours and she was right. I stumbled into the kitchen to get a glass of water and some Tylenol, trying not to wake Cam who was asleep on the couch. I managed to keep quiet while I filled my glass with water, but when I dropped the bottle of Tylenol on the floor, I heard Cam begin to stir.
“Gia, are you okay?” The street lamp streaming through my window provided just enough light to make out his flawless figure.
“Oh yeah, I’m good,” I whispered. “I’m sorry for waking you, go back to sleep.” He ignored me, throwing off his blanket and coming into the kitchen. I knew that I was in more pain than I thought when Cam stood beside me shirtless and I didn’t even blink an eye. “I just –” I took a deep breath, trying to work through the pain. “I just needed some Tylenol. My incision is really bothering me.”
“You’re burning up,” he said, placing his hand on my forehead before bending down to pick up the bottle of Tylenol from the floor. “Here, take two of these for the fever,” he said after twisting off the lid and taking two out. I popped them in my mouth and swallowed them down. “And take one of these for the pain.” He handed me one of the pills that my doctor had prescribed. I threw back another sip of water and swallowed it down. “You need to lie back down.”
“It actually feels a little better when I get up and walk around or sit straight up.”
He led me over to the couch and helped me sit down. “Is that better?”
“Much,” I responded. He sat down next to me, looking exhausted. “Cam, go lie down in my bed and go back to sleep. I’ll be fine. I’m feeling much better already.” He completely ignored me and placed the blanket over the two of us. I rested my head on his shoulder and took his hand in my mine. We sat there in silence for some time before I finally stretched my neck up to find him fast asleep. Brushing my lips on his cheek, I whispered in his ear. “Carrie was right, you are a great guy.” I rested my head on his shoulder once again, feeling the effects of the medication overtaking me and the sleepiness setting in. I squeezed his hand tighter as I felt myself beginning to drift off to sleep. “If only you were mine,” I whispered, before I was out for the count.
***
I woke up to the strong aroma of coffee, happy that I was finally craving it once again. “Cam, where did you go?” I sat up as he handed me one of the cups that was in his hand. “Just to the coffee place around the corner, sugar and cream with a little coffee, just how you like it.”
“You know me so well.” The first sip was like heaven. “Perfect.” I smiled. “Did you have a bunch of reporters follow you back?” I joked.
“Nah, got in and out unnoticed. I got you a bagel too.” He took a seat next to me.
“Cam, thank you so much. You really don’t have to be doing all this for me.” I jumped at the sound of my intercom buzzing. “Uh-oh maybe you were spotted.”
Without even thinking, I got up a little faster than I should have, stopping to catch my breath over the pain in my stomach before I walked over to hit the button.
“Who is it?” I asked.
“Gia, it’s m
e.” The familiar sound of my mother’s voice came through the intercom. I buzzed her up and opened the door before taking a seat back on the couch.
“Mom, I’m fine,” I blurted out, knowing that she was on the verge of tears when her eyes met mine. Cam got up and she took a seat next to me, throwing her arms around me. “Gia, I would’ve been here sooner if you or your sister had let me know.”
“Hey Gia, how are you feeling?” Ben asked.
“Better.” And I really did mean it. I was still physically sore, but in the short time of Cam being here, I felt much better emotionally.
My mother focused her attention on Cam. “Cam, you stayed with Gia last night?” He nodded. “You’re such a good boy,” she responded. “Well, you can come home with me and Ben tonight and you’re staying with us until you’re feeling better.”
“Mom, I feel fine. I’m staying here.”
“Gia, I don’t think –”
“Melanie, I’m gonna be in town for the next few days. I’ll stay with her.” Cam came to my rescue.
“Cam, honey, that’s so sweet of you, but don’t you have other things you need to be doing while you’re here?”
He shook his head. “I cleared my schedule for the rest of the week for Gia.”
My mother’s eyes widened and she looked a little stunned by Cam’s admission. I had to admit I was kind of feeling the same way. He had rearranged his schedule just for me? Just when I thought I couldn’t love him more.
“Well, I do know someone you need to put on your schedule while you’re here and she just happens to be my very best friend.”
“Yeah, I guess I need to get around to that,” Cam half-heartedly replied.
“Cam, she just misses you a lot.”
He nodded, turning his attention to Ben. “Hey Ben, since you’re here, do you want to stop by this charity event that the so called favorite baseball team of yours is putting on this afternoon? I’m pretty confident I can introduce you to all of your favorite players.”
I couldn’t help but laugh at the expression on Ben’s face as he looked over at my mother like a little kid begging for candy. “Oh, just go!” she waved her hand, dismissing him. “It will give me time to spend with my little girl,” she said, kissing me gently on the top of my head.
After Cam showered and dressed, he and Ben went on their merry way while my mother and I sat on the couch wrapped in a blanket watching an 80’s movie marathon. “Do you need more Tylenol?” she asked.
“No, I’m good.”
“Well, you look really tired.”
“I am. I think I’m more emotionally drained.” She looked down at my bandaged hand and I was surprised that it took her that long to notice.
“What happened?” she asked, as she moved her thumb along the gauze.
“I kind of lost it yesterday. I smashed a picture frame and I don’t really want to talk about it.”
“Gia, he was no good. I knew it without even meeting him. You deserve so much better.”
“I know that now, Mom. I just wish I didn’t have to lose so much to realize it.” I bit my bottom lip and swallowed the lump in my throat. “I never thought I’d feel such a huge loss over something like this. I never even met this baby….how can I be feeling so down over it?”
She grabbed my hand and tilted my chin so I was looking directly into her eyes. “When you and your sister were four years old, I had gotten pregnant again.” My eyes widened in amazement. “It was totally unplanned and I’m not sure if your father was too happy about it. It was a huge shock to me, but it didn’t take me long to accept it and want it. Then at seven weeks, I had a miscarriage. It was horrible. I had never felt so depressed in my life and no one could relate to what I was going through. Not your grandmother, not my sister, not Aunt Jodi, not even your dad. They all thought it should have been easy to get over because the baby was never born, but let me tell you that baby was just as real as you and your sister were to me.” I could see her eyes tearing up.
“Oh, Mom…I’m so sorry.” I hugged her tightly.
“I know how you’re feeling honey. I do. That baby was real and he or she was a part of you. So, it’s okay to mourn its loss.”
I nodded. Finally feeling like I wasn’t going completely insane.
I would get through this. With a little more tears. A little more pain and a lot of love from my family and friends…..I would get through this.
Twenty-Two
Cam
Gia was starting to show some signs of her old self after the third day of me being there. I knew she was going stir-crazy sitting around her apartment just by the way she’d jumped at the suggestion of going to her Mom’s for the day. I figured this time would allow me to visit with my mom as well. I was heading back to LA in the morning and I felt bad about leaving Gia, but she promised me she’d be okay.
The driver had dropped Gia off at Melanie’s and we were pulling up to my Mom’s. I had called her in the morning to make sure she was going to be around, feeling a little guilty that I was hoping she would say she wasn’t.
She greeted me with a hug as I walked through the front door. “This was the best surprise ever!” She was beaming, immediately making me feel guilty for dragging my feet to come and visit. “I’m making Christmas cookies,” she shouted as I followed her into the kitchen. “Do you remember when you were little? This was our tradition every year. You would put your little thumb into the thumbprint cookies.”
I nodded and smiled. “Yup, I remember that.”
She let out a deep sigh. “God, I miss those days.”
“Cam! What a nice surprise!” Herman said as he entered the kitchen.
“How are you doing?” I stood up and shook his hand.
“How’s Gia feeling?” he asked right away going into doctor mode. My mother turned her attention from her baking and focused on me keenly, waiting on my reply.
“She’s doing pretty good. She’s still really emotional over the whole thing, but she’s slowly getting back to herself.”
“That’s good. She was really lucky that she got to the hospital when she did. That could have been really life threatening.” My mother closed her eyes and let out a deep sigh as if his words pained her. “Well, I’m just heading out to do some Christmas shopping for my princess.” He kissed my mother on the cheek. “Hopefully we can catch up soon.”
“Yeah, that sounds good.” I responded as he walked out the front door.
I sat quietly and watched my mother take a tray of cookies out of the oven and put another one in. She went over to the refrigerator and poured a glass of milk, placing it and a plateful of chocolate chip cookies in front of me.
“What’s this for?”
“You.”
I let out a light chuckle. “Just eat them and make your mother happy!” She said as she took a seat next to me at the kitchen table. I broke off a piece of the warm cookie and stuck it in my mouth, taking me back about twenty years when making cookies with your mom was the cool thing to do.
“So, Mel said you’ve been staying with Gia?”
“Yeah, Carrie wanted Gia to stay with her and Jason, but she didn’t want to, so I offered to stay with her.”
She raised her eyebrow. “I feel so bad for her.”
“Yeah, I do too.”
She cleared her throat, looking like she was deep in thought. I knew that look. It was the same one she’d get when she was battling with herself internally as to whether she should say something or not and nine times out of ten when she would get that look, she should have just kept quiet.
“Umm…Cam. Don’t get pissed at me for asking this but….” And here we go. “That baby wasn’t yours, was it?”
“What?! No, Mom! It was not mine!”
“Okay, okay.” She was now in damage control mode. “It’s just that night of Carrie’s wedding...”
“The night of Carrie’s wedding, Gia slept in my hotel room. We did not have sex. I have never had sex with Gia so, therefore, I could have ne
ver gotten her pregnant!” I snapped. “I can’t even believe you would think such a thing.”
“I’m sorry, Cam. It’s just…..well, you have been spending all this time with her helping her get through this. I guess, I just kind of thought that maybe…”
“Well, you thought wrong! Gia is my friend and she was hurt really bad by a fucking asshole who didn’t deserve her and that’s it! There’s no ulterior motive other than I want to be there for her as a friend! God, Mom, not everyone is like you.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Her voice rose in defense.
“It means that I am capable of being friends with someone of the opposite sex without jumping into bed with them.”
Her jaw dropped and I knew I was about to get laid into. “Ever since you made it big, I really don’t like this person you’ve become! How dare you talk to me that way?”
I rolled my eyes and stood up. “You see, Mom, this is why I don’t come around too often. I’m not a little kid anymore and I’m sick of you acting like I am. If you’re hung up on your guilt over chasing men around the whole time I was a kid, don’t be. I’m fine. You were a great Mom. And now I’m leaving with that before one of us says something we may regret.” I leaned down and kissed her on the cheek, feeling bad over the sadness I saw in her eyes, but I knew if I stayed there any longer it would just escalate and I would be feeling a whole lot worse over the situation.
After spending a few hours at Mel and Ben’s, waiting for Gia to finish up with decorating the tree, we were on our way back to Gia’s.
“You didn’t spend much time over your Mom’s.” Gia remarked.
“Yeah, it’s just as well. It just seems like whenever I’m around her these days, we’re always getting into it. She seems to forget that I’m an adult with my own life.”
Gia smiled and took my hand. “Oh, Cam, be nice. You’ll always be her little boy no matter how old you get. It’s gotta be hard for her to share her son with the rest of the world. I kinda know where she’s coming from.”