“And what are you going to do? Drown the life out of me? The same way you did to Ella. You see, Thomas Beck worked for the dam that killed my daughter. And he and the dam got away with it. A real hero.”
Thomas couldn’t deny it. Everything from the past few months—no, years—swarmed his brain. Accusations, guilt, grief, penance, desire for his old friend. Any control he had now threatened to swan-dive over the cliffs behind the house in the madness of it all.
“So, Beck, why don’t you trot on back to your pitiful life and leave Blue with a real man?” Hunter grinned. “Or better yet, just wait awhile longer. I know Blue. I know how driven she is when she wants something. It won’t be long before she abandons you all over again.”
Thomas’s chair screeched against the marble floor as he stood. Enough was enough. Hunter could be the king of this world. But Thomas wouldn’t play his jester any longer. And Blue? Well, Blue could . . .
Could what?
As much as he hated it, this was her choice, her dream. But this dream would drown her, he now realized. And yet, here she was clinging to it. What good was it trying to save all those around him if he couldn’t save her?
“Thanks for dinner, Taylor. You should come to Montana. I’ll bring you to my friends’ café so you can try real food.” He paused. “And bring your dog.” Thomas nodded to the rest of the group, allowing his gaze to sweep quickly past Hunter. Then he pointed his boots toward Montana and headed out the front door.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
How dare you? And to bring Ella into this?” Blue growled across the table. “Thomas is a good man. He didn’t ask for any of this. He’s more courageous than you’ve ever been. And classier, too, because he would never do what you just did.”
After rising from her seat, Blue shoved her chair in hard enough for it to knock against the table, rattling all the guests’ wineglasses. Maybe fitting in was overrated. She’d tried following all the rules once before, and look where that got her. She’d been a fool to come back here where she was as trussed up as one of Glory’s marionettes. It was time she cut the strings. Once she reached the foyer, she grabbed her shoes and jacket, then yanked open the front door. She looked around but saw no one.
She only heard the jingle of a dog collar. At the end of the yard, she spied the Great Dane sitting next to Thomas on the grass. Thomas had his arm around the dog, scratching his back. The dog hopped up and lumbered over to her. She gave it a quick pat and motioned to the house, leading the dog to disappear obediently into the garage.
Thomas stood, took a moment to dust off his jeans, and waited, facing away from her. Was he planning to just leave her behind? The thought opened up an ache the size of the Madison River Canyon.
“I shouldn’t have brought you here.” Slowing as she neared him, she tossed her shoes and jacket onto the grass. “He only acts that way when he’s jealous, you know.”
Thomas remained facing away from her with his hands in his pockets.
“He’s jealous because he knows that it was always you. For me, it was always you. It was before him, and ever since him. Like Gene Kelly says in the movie. You and me? We’re meant for each other.” Blue’s chin trembled, and her eyes grew watery. “Hunter can run his mouth all he wants, but I know you—your character, your mind, your hurts, your fears. In fact, I know everything about you, except one thing. And I’d give just about anything to finally hear you say what I mean to you.”
He remained silent. Always silent. Of course this man of few words wouldn’t be able to express his emotions eloquently right on the spot.
Way to trap him in a corner, Blue. But if that was the case, why did it feel like she was the one the walls were closing in on? She went to him, stopping close enough to feel the heat radiating off his back.
“Please, Thomas,” she whispered.
He turned his head the slightest bit toward his shoulder, enough that she could see the shadow scruffing his jawline and the curve of his lips. He removed his hands from his pockets, and his arms now hung at his sides.
Blue lifted her own hands until her palms hovered just above where his shoulder blades strained against the cotton of his T-shirt. She closed her eyes and watched that beachside cottage morph into a mountainside cabin. Those quiet writing days were interrupted by lazy Labrador snores, and those sunset walks were followed by New Year’s Eve kisses. Unquenched longing dizzied her nerves. But did he feel the same?
“Tell me.” Her voice broke, and she mended it with the last bit of courage she could muster. “Tell me where I stand with you.”
In front of her, Thomas’s shoulders heaved, then he spun around. As her breath hitched, Thomas’s arms wrapped around her waist and drew her to him. He pressed his lips hard against hers, giving her the answer she’d waited a lifetime to hear. The intensity of the kiss burned through her entire body. As his mouth moved over hers, he left absolutely zero doubt in Blue’s mind that he cared for her, wanted her, and maybe even loved her. And if this was the only way he knew how to communicate, then she’d be sure to respond in kind.
She slid her hands over the hard curve of his shoulders, up his neck and into his hair. His soft hair that had once been his crowning glory, but was chopped in an act of what? Grief? Shame? Penance? Now, her fingers raked through it, as if such an act could bring healing to the pain of his past and his present.
The kiss ended far too soon for Blue’s liking, but she needed to breathe for a moment. So did he, it seemed. This man, who could rescue armloads of children from house fires and free a woman from a sinking car, lost his breath while kissing her. Her nose grazed the hollow of his cheek, just beneath the cheekbone she’d watched grow more etched with maturity. Her chin stroked the sandpapered jawline that had broadened during their teenage years. On instinct, she dragged her fingers from the hinge of his jaw, down his throat. Beneath the surface of his skin, she felt his racing pulse, and she wanted both to calm it with a whisper and to make it break a record by kissing him again.
She chose the latter. He seemed happy to oblige. Blue finally pulled away once the earth spun wildly around them, but even as she withdrew from his kiss, she clutched tighter to his torso to keep from losing her balance. “Well,” she said, “this complicates matters.”
“Yes, it does.”
“Is this what you want?”
“Always.” The word, spoken at his lowest timbre, slunk inside her, finding its place nearest her heart.
“Thomas?” His name on her lips suddenly held a new lilt. Softer, and certainly breathier, as it emptied her lungs of all air when she spoke it.
“Hmm?”
“Take me home to Montana.” It wasn’t a question. She knew where her heart belonged. It was with Thomas, a three-legged dog, and a ragtag group of friends. And yes, even the Madison River. Perhaps it was time she finally make peace with it.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Steam rose in a plume above Ollie’s Bar and Restaurant. Cold as it was, it felt good to be back in West Yellowstone. Blue clung to Thomas’s arm as they walked toward the front door of the old hangout. So much of what she was grateful for in Montana was thanks to him. If it was up to her, she would shout her appreciation from the mountaintops. If that wouldn’t make him hide in a cave, that is. Which is why this night was sure to be interesting. “Before we go in, I know you aren’t big into public displays of affection. I’ll understand if you keep your distance from me tonight. There will be time for hand-holding and whatnot later.”
He raised a brow along with a grin. In the five days since they’d returned from California, whatnot had become their favorite pastime. “You like that kind of stuff, though? In front of people?”
“Sure. There’s something sweet about staying connected to someone when you’re in a big group through little touches and whispers. Like you holding my hand at the awards. That wasn’t the worst thing in the world, was it?”
“Fortunately, we don’t have to worry. There aren’t any photographers using a zoom lens or hiding in bushes here.”
Thomas nodded. “Okay.” He tugged the gloves off his hands, then did the same to Blue’s. He threaded his fingers through hers. “Let’s go.”
Once they got inside, a ruckus sounded from the table in the far back. The hoots and hollers nabbed the attention of the other restaurant-goers. Blue was used to the stares, but at least here, strangers kept their distance. Friends? Another story entirely. Ryann and Keira embraced Blue, followed by Shane and Robbie.
After they’d all taken their seats, Shane leaned forward, his countenance taking on the concerned pastor look once again. “How was Cali?”
“Rough.” Blue laughed.
“How is . . . ?” Ryann closed her eyes and snapped her fingers a few times. “Josie.”
“She’s good. Physically, at least, she’s healing. Although she’s pretty shaken up. I think she has a little crush on Thomas, though.” Blue tugged his arm a bit.
“I can see why. The way he rushed in to save her was amazing. The whole scene was crazy to watch. Was it total chaos?” Keira asked.
“It was,” Blue said. “The whole night was surreal.”
“Yeah, what was that bit with Hunter?” Ryann pressed her palms on the tabletop. “Did the producers make you do that?”
The muscles in Thomas’s forearm tensed at the mention of Hunter’s name. Between the two of them, they hadn’t mentioned him at all since the dinner party. Blue seemed to have finally blocked all forms of communication. She had better things to do than listen to his groveling.
“Ryann nearly threw the remote through the TV when he called you ‘babe,’” Shane explained.
“Yeah, our TV,” Robbie said.
“We know who won Blue, don’t we? So is this thing official?” Ryann asked, gesturing between the two of them.
A proud grin fixed itself to Thomas’s face. “It’s official.”
“My man! Out of the friend zone!” Robbie held up a hand for a high five that Thomas let hang as he sat just shaking his head.
Blue high-fived Robbie instead.
Shane raised his glass. “To Thomas and Blue—”
“It’s about ever-loving time!” Ryann interjected.
“I’ll say,” Blue agreed.
“Just remember,” Robbie said, pointing at Thomas. “I kissed her before you did.”
Thomas narrowed his eyes at Robbie and cocked his head. “Did you, though?”
Robbie’s smirk disappeared. “Wait . . . what don’t I know?”
Thomas put his arm around Blue, tucking her against his side. Blue turned into the embrace, shielding her eyes with her free hand.
“Oh, honey.” Keira’s voice tinkled with thinly veiled amusement. “Looks like you aren’t the Casanova you thought you were. It’s a good thing you’ve got me.”
“Good thing.” Robbie planted a kiss on Keira’s temple.
“Hey, that’s our bit,” Shane said, exchanging glances with Ryann.
“Hiya, guys! What are you craving?” Hallie’s cheery voice said from over Blue’s shoulder.
Thomas jerked his arm from around Blue. Surely not in embarrassment. Probably for the same reason Blue sat up straight in her chair. Hallie had cared about Thomas once. There was no reason to rub their new relationship in her face.
“Oh, Thomas, put your arm back around her,” Hallie said with a wave of her hand. “I watched the awards show. You better believe I was rooting for you to steal her away from that no-good Hunter Dean Lawrence.”
“Hallie, you rock,” Robbie said.
She winked at him and Keira, then leaned down until she was close to Blue’s ear. “I knew Thomas was waiting for someone. I’m glad it’s you.” She rose to her full height and placed a hand on her hip. “So, what can I get ya?”
The Matthews crew filled Thomas and Blue in on what they’d missed in town during their trip. In Yellowstone National Park, a snowmobiler had gotten lost and had to be rescued. A seismologist had caused a stir when he predicted another large earthquake in the next two years—a nerve-racking prediction for sure with the region’s deadly history. And finally, Robbie and Keira had signed a new contract for their reality show with Teddy Woodward’s company.
“Speaking of Teddy Woodward, how’s production prep?” Robbie asked.
The mention of Blue’s godfather forced a scoff from her throat.
“Um, Blue isn’t too happy with Teddy right now.” Thomas pushed his plate close to Blue’s. With his fork, he transferred all the cucumber wedges from his salad onto hers, then stabbed each grape tomato off of her plate and dropped them onto his bed of lettuce, keeping in line with the Gross Veggie Treaty they’d written in 1998.
“Because he cast Hunter in the role of Thomas?” Shane asked, seemingly perplexed by the salad destruction like any proper chef would be.
Blue sighed. “I guess Hunter agreed to star in two more Seek original films in order to get this role. Teddy explained that while he doesn’t like the guy for how he treated me, having an A-list actor with Hunter’s following wasn’t something he couldn’t turn down.”
“Ick,” Ryann said. In her hand, she squeezed her fork tight, like she was preparing to throw it javelin-style at Teddy or Hunter if they should walk in the restaurant.
“Not that I support this particular decision,” Blue said, “but we know that Teddy and Angela’s purpose for purchasing this media company is to use it to fund charitable efforts. It’s okay. And although I hate to admit it, Hunter will certainly bring more attention to the project. If it’s a success, I might be able to stay in Montana with only occasional trips to LA. Plus, with filming not slated to start until June, we’ll have a few months before we have to put up with Hunter’s antics. And even then, he can’t shake what Thomas and I have. Right?”
* * *
* * *
Engine Three turned onto a street Thomas knew too well. The pit in his stomach grew as they slowed to a stop. At least they’d gotten here quick. They’d only been four minutes away finishing another call when this emergency call came in. Adult female unconscious. Call placed by a child. No other adult present.
First on arrival, Thomas swung himself out of the engine. Andrea hadn’t been feeling great earlier when Thomas stopped by to drop off the midweek groceries. He’d offered to bring her to the doctor. She’d said no. He’d told her he’d find a sitter to help with her kids so she could rest. Again, she’d refused. Stubborn girl. He ran to her front door. In the front window, Layla and Serena were peering out. When they saw Thomas, they disappeared. Before he reached the handle, they yanked it open. Their faces were streaked with tears. Upstairs, Baby Thomas was wailing.
“Where’s your mommy?”
“Kitchen,” Serena said.
Thomas jogged down the main hall, into the kitchen. Andrea lay in the middle of the tile. Bridger held an ice pack to the side of her head.
“She fell and bonked her head. I called 911 like you told me.”
“Great job, buddy. I’m proud of you.”
Andrea’s eyes opened in a squint, and she gave a weak lift of her hand. Well, she recognized Thomas. That was a good sign.
Thomas checked the injury on her head. A bump had formed. Bad enough for a headache but not much else. Her skin was pallid. The flu, she’d thought it was earlier. She would likely need fluids and a night in the hospital. Who would watch the kids? Andrea didn’t trust anyone with them. Other than Thomas, she had no friends. And because she worked from home, she didn’t exactly have coworkers who could step in, either.
After Renner arrived and took over Andrea’s care, Thomas headed up to the nursery he’d painted. He found the b
aby in the crib he’d assembled. A halo of wet fabric surrounded his head.
“Hey, little one,” Thomas said, trying to mimic the way Robbie used to calm Anabelle when she was a baby. As he lifted the baby up onto his shoulder, his hand met wetness through the diaper. No wonder he was crying. It was cold in this room. Too cold. Andrea tried to keep the thermostat low to save on the heating bill, despite knowing Thomas would pay it. He’d told her again today not to worry about the cost. Now the poor kid was wet and freezing.
On instinct, he held the baby up closer to his neck and covered him with a blanket. He shimmied back and forth like Gene Kelly and hummed “You Were Meant for Me.” Once Baby Thomas had calmed, Grown Thomas laid him down on the changing pad. He’d never changed a diaper before, but it couldn’t be that complicated, could it?
It was complicated.
An hour later, Andrea had been taken to the hospital, Thomas had called in one of the other firefighters to fill in for him, and he was trying to make formula, wrangle two preschoolers into pajamas, and assure a seven-year-old that his mother would be just fine. There were way more tears than Thomas imagined. He’d babysat Anabelle on occasion, but never all night. And there was only one of her. He needed help if he and the kids were going to make it until the morning.
He retrieved his phone and dialed the only number that seemed to make sense.
“Hey,” Thomas said. “I need your help.”
* * *
* * *
Robbie Matthews arrived thirty minutes later with a pizza and a storybook. While Robbie fed the kids, Thomas rocked the baby back and forth. Slowly, when the little one’s eyes drifted closed, it worked something in Thomas’s chest. Something deep.
As Robbie read The Monster at the End of This Book to the children in his best Sesame Street Grover voice, Thomas cuddled up with all four children on the couch. It made Thomas feel all warm inside . . . and outside. Like so warm he was sweating. Between this blanket of hot-blooded little kids and the bumped-up thermostat, he was miserably hot, and yet, he’d sit here forever if that’s what these kids needed. A strange feeling that Thomas had never expected to have toward anyone, except maybe Cassie. And yet, he felt it toward these children. And he felt it toward Blue. It made him think twice about what the future might hold for him.
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