“What does ‘closed-circuit television’ mean, Mom?” I say, pointing to a sign.
“It means that there are cameras recording who comes in and out of the building.”
“Cool!”
She laughs.
Near the elevator sits a security guard named Carl, who wears an official uniform. “Working again, Ms. Díaz?”
“Just for a little while, Carl.”
Carl waves at me. I salute him back.
After opening a bunch of doors with Mom’s badge, we finally get to where she works. From there we pass the vending machines with food I’ve never seen before.
“What’s a honey bun, Mom?” My face is pressed up to the glass.
“I am not sure. Honestly, it’s an American thing. I’ve never had it.”
“Can I try it?” I ask, pressing my face closer.
“Maybe another time.”
Mom keeps walking, and I have to run to catch up with her. Near the vending machines is a whole kitchen with a refrigerator and a bunch of tables.
“Do you eat here, Mom?”
“Sometimes. Many times, I have business lunches or I eat in my office.”
As we continue to walk to her office, we pass all kinds of computer equipment. There are huge photocopy machines with so many buttons I want to push and levers I want to pull, but I don’t.
Then we walk past the DJ booths, where all the people who talk on the radio work. There are even more buttons here, ones that light up, too. I recognize the voice of the DJ, but we don’t really listen to this radio station too much in the car. Mom likes listening to salsa and classical music instead. That’s when I notice a man in the booth. He steps out for a second and says, “Buenos días, señora.”
“¡Hola!” she says. “Nacho, ella es mi hija, Stella.” Mom introduces me to Nacho. I turn roja and hide behind Mom.
He laughs and says, “¡Mucho gusto, Stella!” I know that means “Nice to meet you,” so to be polite I say quietly, “Sí, igualmente.” Then I run ahead of Mom, and finally we get to her office. I love Mom’s office. I usually like to lie on her couch or sit across from her desk pretending that I’m her assistant. I also like going through all her cabinets and drawers. I don’t think she always likes that, but I can’t help it.
“What do you want to do while I’m working, Stella?” she says as she turns her computer on. She looks a little stressed-out.
I pause, closing a drawer full of Post-it notes and pens. Then I get a great idea. “Can I write a story, Mom?”
“¡Sí!” she says.
While she works in her office, I decide to go to an empty cubicle. I get office supplies from the supply closet and grab every color pen they have. Then I get down to work. I decide today I’m going to write about the pirate Captain Rob and his sidekick, Monkey. Nick and I like to pretend we’re pirates when we’re swimming, so I dedicate it to Nick at the beginning.
I try to make it as close to a real book as possible. I put in a title page, and I even write a biography for myself at the end. When I’m done, my book is ten pages long with drawings.
I tiptoe to Mom’s office. She’s typing away at her computer while chewing on a pen.
“Mom?”
“Mande,” Mom says, looking distracted.
“I finished my story.”
“Wonderful. I’m almost done, too.”
“Okay,” I say.
But it takes her a little bit longer than she says. I get bored waiting, so I explore around the office a bit. I even make myself a cup of hot cocoa in the kitchen. That gives me even more energy, so I quietly run from cubicle to cubicle peeking in to see everyone’s pictures and decorations.
Finally, I make my way back to her office.
“Sorry, Stella. Really just a couple more minutes, then we’ll eat lunch,” she says, typing away on the computer.
While she finishes, I lie on her couch and hang my head over the side. I look at her and her office upside down. She has a few pictures of Nick and me up on the wall. She also has one of my drawings. It’s one that I did on our trip to Wisconsin Dells from a couple of years ago. It was one of our last trips as a family before my parents divorced. I did a drawing of the little deer and pine trees we saw as we rode on the sled.
I look over at Mom. Mom looks so serious as she works. I feel bad that Dad isn’t so good at being a dad. If he was, Mom wouldn’t have to work so hard.
I wonder if she likes her job. I don’t even realize that I say it out loud.
“It’s a fun job. Sometimes it’s too long,” she says. “And I’d rather be at home with tú y tu hermano. Or on the beach.” She winks. “Enough work anyway. Show me your book.”
I walk over to her. “Be prepared to be amazed. It’s the best thing I’ve ever done.”
“I’m sure it is.”
We read my book together. It’s the epic story of Captain Rob and Monkey, who go in search of treasure, and the evil pirate who tries to steal it. The story ends with a cliffhanger because I plan on writing a sequel. When we’re done reading, she spins her chair to face me and gives me a hug.
“I love it, Stella. I know what will make it more official. We can do it while we’re leaving.”
She locks up her office, and we walk over to the room with the photocopier and the other fancy machines. She heads to the one that looks like it has giant teeth and grabs a coil, a piece of plastic, and a piece of black paper.
“Por favor,” she says, motioning for me to give her my story.
She puts the plastic in front. Then she puts the black paper on the back. Next, she inserts the coil around the giant teeth in the machine. Before she grabs the big handle she says, “Watch your manitas.”
I move my little hands. Then there is a big snap. My pages are bound together.
I squeal. “It’s a book!”
* * *
When I go to school the next day, I walk over to Ms. Bell’s desk before the class starts.
“I wrote a story over the Thanksgiving break, Ms. Bell.”
“That’s wonderful, Stella,” Ms. Bell says. “Do you want to read it out loud to the class?”
I shake my head no.
“What if I help you, and we read only a little bit?”
“I guess so.” I’m really proud of my story, and I do want to share it with the class. I just don’t want to have everyone looking at me. The last thing I want is a repeat of the first day of school.
When class begins, Ms. Bell stands up in front with my book.
“Look at what one of your classmates did over the weekend. Stella drew and wrote a whole story just for fun. It’s called Captain Rob and Monkey.”
She starts flipping through the pages. I feel roja.
“Cool! Pirates!” says Stanley.
Ms. Bell starts reading my story, and it actually sounds pretty good. Then she looks over to me. “Stella, would you like to read a paragraph?”
I get up. I’m shaky. I read the paragraph quickly and never look up the whole time. Then I sit back down.
“Thank you, Stella. I think you did a great job,” she says as she hands me back my book. “This relates perfectly to your animal project. Class, you’ve all been working hard researching. Well, there is a new part to the project. You all will be presenting the projects to the class. You’ll have to talk for five minutes each and show us everything you learned about your project. Now, everyone knows that just talking in front of the class can be a little boring. So I want you to make the presentations fun and exciting!”
“Like costumes?” asks Ben.
“Yes, you can wear costumes. You can do a dance. Anything is possible!”
“I’m going to wear my equestrian outfit,” says Jessica. Her family owns a horse, so naturally she’s doing her project on horses.
As the whole class starts talking, I get extra quiet. Now I have to do a whole presentation with complete sentences? And it’s supposed to be entertaining? Maybe if I wear a giant sheet on my head it will be less scary.
Then I look down at my book. Maybe it won’t be so bad. I made it through reading a paragraph in front of the whole class and didn’t stumble at all! That’s way better than the first day. Maybe I can do this.
I see Stanley looking at me. Then I see Jessica, who looks carefree and even excited about the presentation. Nope, I have a feeling this story isn’t going to end well.
Chapter Twelve
Winters are very cold in Chicago. Sometimes, it’s hard to even want to leave the house! It was so cold on Christmas that we just stayed home. Plus, Mom had to work some on Christmas Eve. Luckily, New Year’s Day isn’t too cold. Mom decided we should do something special and celebrate it in Wisconsin Dells. Even though we have trees near our house, I never see as many trees as when we’re in Wisconsin. The woods are so pretty. And there are so many winter activities! More than we could ever do in Chicago.
Also, I am very happy to get away. I don’t want to think about the presentation or school.
“Don’t you want to go to Jamaica instead?” I suggest to Mom. Jamaica is much farther away, I think.
Mom just laughs. “I wish,” she says. “How about when you become a famous explorer or artist, we’ll go?”
As I imagine deep-sea diving or, better yet, my artwork on display in a museum, I feel okay about not going to Jamaica quite yet.
Our favorite activity in Wisconsin Dells is snowshoeing, so we go the moment we arrive. First, you have to wear these shoes that look like gigantic tennis rackets. They help you trek across the snow and also make you look sort of funny when you are walking.
“We look like penguins!” Mom says as we waddle in our snowshoes.
“I think we look like humpback whales because we are puffy from our clothes!” I say.
“No, we look like spies!” says Nick.
“Except if this were a spy movie, we would wear all white and we’d be running away from the bad guys who wear all black,” I say.
Mom shakes her head. “If you were wearing all white, I couldn’t see you. I want to be able to see my niños.”
Because snowshoes are heavy, Mom and Nick are able to walk much faster than I can. After a while, I fall behind.
“Hey, slow down!” I say, panting.
“Sorry, slowpoke,” Nick calls back.
I groan. He turns around to look at me. “You better walk faster, too. Everyone knows that Bigfoot lives here. He especially likes to eat little girls.”
“You’re lying. He’s not real.” I stomp my foot. Then I take a quick glance around. It’s eerily quiet.
“Come on, let’s go. Walk a little faster, Stella. There’s so much to do today!” Mom says.
Nick likes to scare me sometimes. He told me once when we were going swimming that there were alligators in the lake. It scared me so much I couldn’t go in the water for the rest of the day. When we got home, I researched alligators. Turns out there are no alligators in Illinois. When I showed Nick the website, he just shrugged and said, “You never know.”
Now, I am pretty sure that Bigfoot isn’t real, but I can hear branches moving. It’s probably just the wind, but I’m going to double-check when I get home.
I yell, “Mom!” and run to catch up with them.
I keep up, but after a while, I start feeling tired. Looking out for Bigfoot and wearing snowshoes is exhausting. “Nick, can you carry me?”
He squats down, and I jump on his back. “I’m only doing this because we look bigger and more intimidating to Bigfoot,” he says. I can’t see his face, but I know his secret smirk is there.
I giggle and hug his neck a little tighter. It’s hard to stay mad at Nick for too long.
“Stella, we’re almost to the car,” Mom says, patting Nick’s head. “We’ll grab lunch, and then we’ll have more fun.”
During the car ride, I notice some little huts on the lake. These are for the ice fishers. Seeing them reminds me of my school project about ocean life. I haven’t told Mom or Nick about the new presentation part of the project. I don’t want them to think I can’t do it or handle it. I think Nick would make fun of me and Mom has enough problems with work. I don’t want to make her worry when she doesn’t have to.
“Are you thinking about your project?” Mom asks. She can magically tell what I’m thinking without me telling her.
“Yup,” I say quietly. “Mom…”
“Yes, Stella?”
“Do you ever get nervous talking in front of large crowds?”
“No, why?” she replies.
I sigh. That’s not what I was hoping to hear. “Just curious. Really, never?”
She pauses. “Not really. Your abuelo was a performer. I was just used to seeing that.”
Her response doesn’t make me feel better. In fact, I feel a little worse. Thankfully, Nick says, “Oh good. There’s the restaurant!”
After a hot lunch, we walk around downtown Dells. Even though it’s New Year’s, the streets are still covered in Christmas decorations of snowflakes, reindeer, and snowmen. I start to wonder how we would celebrate the holidays in Mexico. I can’t picture Mexico City in snow. I am also pretty sure a snowman would just melt there.
So I ask, “Mom, what did you do for Christmas in Mexico?”
“Nothing like this. It’s too warm there. We just celebrated with our family and friends. Actually, Three Kings Day is kind of a bigger deal in Mexico than Christmas for kids.”
“Really? I’ve never heard of it,” says Nick.
“It’s fun. You leave your shoes out and the three wise men leave you presents overnight.”
“Can we do that next year?” I ask.
Nick says, “Yeah, I want more presents!”
“Well. We live in the States. I just didn’t think to do it. I wanted you guys to fit in.”
I sigh. I think to myself, But I don’t fit in, Mom. I am different from the people in my class. I’m an alien.
Suddenly, I picture Pancho swimming alone in his fish tank. He can’t be around other fish, but he also can’t live outside of the water. He doesn’t belong anywhere either.
Chapter Thirteen
Ring. Ring.
“It’s Dad!” yells Nick after he answers the phone. I run over.
“Really?” I whisper. It’s January, and we just spoke to him on Christmas. He usually never calls this soon after Christmas.
Nick nods. He covers the phone.
“He’s going to be in Chicago in a couple months for work. He also wants to know whether we got our Christmas presents.”
Our Christmas presents this year were more gloves and socks from Tío’s store. Big surprise. Also, like usual, they look like nothing we’d ever wear and they don’t fit right.
I put my ear to the phone and listen with Nick.
“Yes, we got our presents,” says Nick.
“Good. Got to make sure my niños are warm.” Then Dad says, “You know I’d do anything for you guys.”
Nick rolls his eyes. Good thing we’re not on video.
* * *
When school starts back up after winter break, it’s so cold we actually end up using some of the new gloves and socks. Sadly, Jenny’s not there. She has a cold, which means I have to eat lunch without her, and it’s a little scary. I’m not really friends with anyone else, so I’m not sure where to sit.
At lunchtime, I look around the cafeteria. My options are slim. I also know that I can’t eat anywhere near Jessica. I scan the room, looking from table to table, searching for a friendly face when I finally spot Lauren, who is reading another Nancy Drew book.
Yes, I think. When I walk over, Lauren makes room for me without my even asking. I nod my head. This will be good, I think. We both like being quiet. To my surprise though, Lauren is pretty chatty today. She asks, “How’s your ocean life project?”
“It’s good,” I say. My drawings do look good. It’s the presentation I’m worried about. I pause and look at Lauren. She looks so excited, like she has a secret she wants to share. So I ask her, “How is your pro
ject?”
I’ve been trying to ask more questions, as Jenny suggested. It’s working some, especially with Lauren.
She leans in. “Well, my project is great. Don’t tell anyone, but I’m going to bring in my uncle’s parrot for the presentation. Ms. Bell said it was okay.” She sits up a little taller.
“That’s really cool.”
She nods. Lauren looks so proud. I don’t mean to, but I frown for a split second. I don’t know how Ms. Bell could have agreed to this. It’s simply not fair. A parrot can talk and sing! That’s like presenting with a partner whom you know everyone will like.
What am I going to do? I can’t bring Pancho. I love him, but he doesn’t talk. Most people would get bored just watching him swim. Maybe I can be like the wizard in The Wizard of Oz and do my whole presentation from behind a curtain.
Recess is much harder than lunch without Jenny. It’s too cold to be outside, so recess is in the gym. It feels lonelier there because everyone is closer together than we would be on the playground. When Jenny is not there on a warm day, I can just hide underneath a slide.
I decide to bring my notebook and pen to recess. I am determined to figure out my presentation. So I sit on the bleachers and open the notebook to a blank page. I write “Presentation” on top in big letters. I underline it three times.
I think.
Then think.
And think.
Nada. Nothing.
Frustrated, I close the notebook.
As I start looking around the gym, I see Jessica playing jump rope with a few of the girls. It looks like fun, but I feel too shy to ask to play, plus I don’t want to deal with Jessica.
Unfortunately, Jessica notices that I’m looking. She curls her lips. “Stella Stares is staring.”
“Maybe she’s stupid,” says Bridget.
I bunch my fingers into little fists by my sides when I hear the word “stupid.” I can feel my heart beating like war drums in my chest. I feel hot. Roja with anger. People can say I’m strange or different, but I am not stupid.
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