Chapter Thirteen
My loneliness greets me like a slap in the face—and not a lust-filled emotional one. This slap is sad and terrifying. I know I fucked up. Why would Benjamin leave me the way he did, with a cold shoulder and even colder words?
After an hour wandering about my apartment trying to determine where the hell my life will go now, I go to the bedroom and remove the dress I’m wearing. It is totally unsuited to my personality, and I wonder as I gaze in the mirror at the purple polka dots if Benjamin was trying to make some statement with this silly dress. Or is it just a lighthearted joke?
With the thing flung to the floor where I don’t care if I ever pick it up again, I can at least see myself in the mirror and view for the first time the transformation that has been performed on me. The harness of leather and metal remains intact; so do the piercings. I watch myself with some curiosity react to my reflection. I’m at first a little stunned; I haven’t seen myself in two weeks and now this. Then I notice a blush appear on my face. How can I be embarrassed when no one’s around? The fat rings piecing my labia astound me; more astounding is how they pull to each side and attach to the harness straps. If this is not the most lewd thing I’ve ever seen, I don’t know what is.
After the shock and embarrassment disappear, I have to investigate further by running my hands along the strips of leather. How strange they feel, but wonderfully tight and restrictive, reminding me of Benjamin’s tight hold on me. I press my palm against my belly and run it down to my crotch. You’d think the air would dry the juices that seep from my cunt, but the pink flesh still glistens with my sweetness. I take a finger full from my easily accessible cunt and lick it like I’d lick a dollop of whipped cream. I smile, and at least for the moment feel oddly happy about this whole arrangement, and predictably aroused. I imagine that’s what Benjamin planned. The bastard knows me—that lovely, handsome, virile, domineering, devious bastard knows me.
My fingers waver about my privates, revving up sexual engines. As I move, every tug of the harness holding me in its grip is as effective as a hand reaching out to caress me. I play with myself. I rub my clit. The juice gathers and pours out over my hand. In seconds, I’m cumming in long rolling spasms. I grasp at my pussy and yank hard. Oh, I miss being beaten already. My legs feel weak and I fall back on the bed just like I fell back on the bed at the cabin when I was so overcome by grief and sexual longing. This time, I don’t awaken for hours, and when I do, my stomach is growling with hunger.
Besides awakening hungry, I awaken depressed and worried. I have no idea what happens next. It would sure be nice if Benjamin would have left a message, but there are none in my voice mail. Not even a note in my mailbox. I have no idea if I even have a life. Do I have a job? A master? A boyfriend? Or am I just a wasted, used up submissive who just blew the last chance she’d have for happiness?
With this dilemma on my mind, I eat, then spend the rest of the day, trying to forget the last fourteen. I gaze around me seeing my apartment littered with fabric, sewing notions, magazines, newspapers—the common household refuse that gathers quickly in my environment. It disgusts me now—maybe all that cleaning at the cabin has rubbed off on me. With nothing else to pass the time but constant worry, I start cleaning, knowing how the mindless activity will keep me busy. Late in the afternoon, as I’m walking by the front door, I do a double-take. There’s an envelope on the floor. What the—? I swear it wasn’t there before.
Shaking from nerves fired by fear, I reach down and pick it up to inspect the handwriting—I know it well. My stomach clenches… of course, a kiss-off letter from Benjamin. And yet, on tearing it open, it reads in his simple hand…
Tomorrow morning, I’ll see you at the office at 8:00… BH
So, what the hell is this supposed to mean! Anger, no, not anger but a fiery rage pops up like a freak thunderstorm and I immediately move to the big coat closet by the front door were I store all the stuff I rarely use. I’m looking for my jacket with every intention of finding Benjamin wherever he happens to be, but I stop abruptly as soon as I open the door.
Oh my God! The cage! I almost stumble over the thing and have to catch myself on the doorjamb. How did it get here… right here in my apartment, in my closet, like it belongs here, like it’s always been here, like it’s waiting for me to open its barred door and crawl right in…is that where I belong?
The letter, still scrunched inside my closed fist… and now the cage. Benjamin has been here in my space—the creepy feeling makes my skin crawl. Just minutes ago, he silently slips by my apartment to deliver his message. He’s not willing to call me on the phone and speak to me, or knock on the door so we can look each other in the eye. But I feel him even now, hovering about my private space, as viciously asserting himself into my life as he did while holding me captive in the woods. Is this a violation or a blessing?
I want him with more lust and fervor than I’ve ever known in my life … and yet he holds himself apart, taunting me at every turn, planning each move and I, his puppet, jerk to the miserable dance.
I awaken at two in the morning unable to sleep and after lying awake for nearly an hour, uselessly trying to calm my mind, I finally get up and go to the closet that plays host to my cage. I bet he wants me to crawl inside and sleep there… the message is perfectly clear.
But I don’t take the bait. If Benjamin wants to control me now he’s going to have to do it hands on, not from far way. I slam the closet door shut and return to bed where without much effort I fall back to sleep.
Chapter Fourteen
The day is fair, the sky is blue. I dash up the stairs to work wearing a pair of hot pink stockings under my tight black skirt. I initially worried that the lines from the harness would show and wouldn’t you know, they don’t. I’m safe from wondering eyes although I’m not so sure I hide the harness as well under my sheer blouse. So what? It will keep the world guessing. Besides, it’s perfectly reasonable attire and there are embroidered roses strategically located over my breasts. Very slutty, very me, I decided as I gazed in the mirror in my bedroom. I have to admit the harness does keep me thinking submissively and the piercings that keep my labia pried apart make my pussy constantly raw. That can’t be a bad thing. At least for now, I feel more life inside my bones than I’ve felt in the last twenty-four hours.
When I open the office door for my grand return, I’m surprised to find the place unusually busy. Sally smiles at me and gives me a scant wave—she’s on the phone. So is a woman sitting behind her at a small desk that wasn’t there when I left. I have no idea who she is, but she acts as though she belongs right where she is. Then there are two guys roaming around the floor—I think they are hooking up computer cable, or something. I step over one and move dazedly into my office expecting more little people working industriously. I breathe a sigh of relief seeing my same old office with its purple walls, its messy desk and its drafting board littered with unfinished projects. I close the door behind me and ponder what I’ll do next.
My sunny disposition isn’t fake, the happy step in my walk isn’t either. I woke up feeling ready to take back my world… if Benjamin would let me have it. I decided that the gloom and despair I was feeling was just a let down after my boot camp training…and Benjamin will talk to me even if I have to tackle him and sit on his face. I would have done that in the woods the day he left, but Jud got to me first.
My lifted spirits are a given, but it’s still with terrible dread that after a few wasted minutes in my office doing nothing but stare at the indecipherable mess, I finally gather my wits enough to find Benjamin.
I navigate the reception area gingerly, staying away from the cable that’s a web of cords in the middle of the floor. When I knock on Benjamin’s closed office door I expect an immediate answer and am surprised when I hear none. I knock again, still nothing. I’m about to turn around and ask Sally where he is when I suddenly feel a hand resting gently on my ass.
“Open the door,” he whispers.
While I follow the order, my training has prevailed, I become increasingly anxious as he probes through the files on his desk ignoring me completely. Finally too unnerved to wait, I blurt out:
“What the hell’s going on?”
Even now, it takes some seconds for him to respond. “What? In the office?” he smiles as he finally looks up. “Your latest catalog was a real hit, Dana. I mean a real hit; you really got the business humming. The phone was ringing off the hook late last week, and it’s not stopped. I had to hire a temp to take care of what Sally can’t handle. And I’m installing two more phone lines; we were losing too many calls. We should have a website up by the end of the month. And you, my dear, have another catalog to design this week, so welcome back.” He pauses just a moment then adds, “By the way, you look as if a hundred thousand miles of worry have been erased from your face.”
“I do, really?”
“Yes, really.”
I stare around the small space, seeing the clutter—this is not like Benjamin at all, more like me.
“Yeah, I know it’s a mess,” he says, “but I’ll have someone in here shortly who will get it all cleaned up.”
“That’s good. You know, maybe you should have your old office back,” I say a bit listlessly. “I really don’t need that big space.”
He looks at me strangely, as if he never expected the offer.
“Thanks. I’ll look into that.” The phone rings and he takes the call, while I wait patiently for him to argue with port authorities over a shipment that’s been delayed in customs. He works around those issues effortlessly; something I could never do.
While he talks, I get my bearings; this is much harder than I thought, especially since I’m in a place I’m afraid I no longer belong.
“So?” he says when he’s finally off the phone.
“So, yes, back to my question.”
“What question?” he asks.
“I asked ‘what the hell is going on’. Remember?”
“Yes, and didn’t I explain everything?”
“No. You’ve explained nothing about you and me and that, Benjamin, sir,” I say with emphasis, “is something that is not going to wait a second longer.” I can feel my eyes flare with purpose and my heart start to pound with excitement. “Boot camp is over, and you owe me more than you’ve given me…more than the cage in my closet, which yes, I found, and a note slipped under my door—that looks pretty lame coming from a man who’s supposed to be my master.” Oh, it feels so good to speak my mind, even though I’m a little afraid of how he’ll react. “Now, Benjamin Hunter, we are going to talk—please?”
He looks me aghast at first, then he smiles. “My, how submissive we are today.”
I keep my cool…surprising myself with such poise.
“I am submissive,” my voice returns to a cool quiet, “and I believe I’m your submissive, but you tell me. I won’t be left in the dark any longer. We either have a relationship that will last or I’m going out and find one. I’ve learned a lot from my fourteen days…and this harness twists in the meanest way to remind me who I am, but I’m also owed an explanation from you, and that talk you promised.”
As Benjamin sits back in his chair it makes an annoying squeak. But the observant silence that follows is even worse as he scrutinizes my face until I want to look away. My anxiety builds but then he finally starts to talk. “Yes, Dana you are owed an explanation,” he says.
I sigh deeply and listen.
“But there’s just something I need to know first…” he looks me directly in the eye and goes straight to the point, “is going that hard and that deep really what you want? Is that what you need? Is that what you want every day, because if it is, then we have a relationship for keeps.”
He stuns me so and before I can think of something to say in reply he continues on. “That was your fourteen days of boot camp, but it was boot camp for me too. It taught me what I know to be true about Benjamin Hunter, about the sadist inside me, and the joy I feel when I’m dominating you, when I’m beating you and withholding my affection. It taught me how much I loved watching you fucked in the ass by another master, how much I enjoyed the trickery, the surprise, the deer-in-the-headlights look in your eyes when I take you off guard and do something you never expected. It taught me that I don’t want to go without that experience with the woman I love. I don’t want it pretty or conventional, or convenient. I don’t want dungeons, or even cabins in the woods, I want my kink in the middle of my life, an everyday miracle that sparks between us and produces the best sex and the hardest cums and the most urgent loving we can possibly have. That’s what I want.” He stops briefly while my mind spins.
“You say the harness reminds you of your submission? Well it reminds me of my dominant spirit every time I look at you and know that underneath those clothes you’re wearing my harness, my leather and your pussy is open for me. It’s my kink, Dana. And I want it every day with you in the same way, maybe not the same forms, but certainly the same attitude of surrender, and willingness to resign yourself. I want you bending to my will and your spirit contained until I choose to set it free. I want your mind, your heart, your body and cunt attuned to me twenty four hours a day. That’s what I want and what I want from you.” He takes a breath and sits back again. “Is it possible?”
He waits, but I can’t answer.
“You know, I’m not sure it’s possible. But I’m willing to give that kind of relationship one hell of a try—if it’s what you want. If it is, Dana, then yes, to answer your question, we do have a relationship.” He pauses. “If it’s not, then you go your way, I’ll go mine, and hopefully we can find what we need elsewhere.”
I am speechless, my brain so empty of thoughts I feel foolish. Then, because, I can’t think of anything else to say, I blurt out the only thing I know for sure.
“I love you, Benjamin. I’m not sure why I do. I love how you make me feel. I can’t explain that either, but as long as you respect who I am, I am yours. I don’t know what’s in my mind, but I know what’s in my heart.”
He nods his head, then for a time it looks like there are a hundred thoughts inside his brain and he’s considering them all. Finally, he rises from his chair and moving to the window looks out on the street below. When he turns back, he peers at me with a look that’s loaded with innuendoes and possessiveness in his brown eyes.
“Stand up, Dana, and remove your clothes.”
Chapter Fifteen
The sunny redhead moves into the lounge with charming ease. Her shapely dancer’s legs catch the eye of every man at the bar as each one takes a look as she sashays by in her four inch heels. She sits in the chair Ben Hunter has pulled out from the table.
“Hi, sweetie,” she says and gives him a warm peck on the cheek.
“Glad you called. I’ve missed you,” he says.
“I wish I could say the same,” her eyes twinkle, “and I guess I do… but I’ve been pleasantly distracted.”
“Is that the news you wanted to report?” he asks.
“It is.”
She holds out her hand, showing off a diamond on her left ring finger, set in a design of platinum leaves.
“That is unique.”
“Marco designed it himself.”
“Marco, huh? And is this the relationship you wanted?”
“I think so.”
“You work quickly, lady,” he says admiringly.
“Yes, I guess I wasted no time. In fact, I got on the plane with the best defense against losing you, and that was to find another lover. I don’t take kindly to rejection.”
“I didn’t mean to reject you; it wasn’t really in my mind.”
“All the same, I knew exactly what you’d do with Dana. Maybe not the specifics, but certainly the outcome, and I was right.”
“He’s deep and mysterious, Ben. Full of surprises, angles and ingenious ways to love me.”
“Then you can’t twist him around your little finger?”
“No, I can’t,” she says flatly—like she’s remembering her last night with her lover.
“And would he be as kinky as I am?” This is what he really wants to know.
She smirks playfully and tosses her head. “Let me tell you about last night… Marco gave me a potent reminder of his control over me. We went out to dinner, a rather fancy restaurant. We were with friends, and midway through the meal, he was having one of those speculative discussions with the other man about having a woman do as she’s told. His friend’s date was your common variety feminist business woman with an aggressive streak a mile wide. Of course, she was appalled by the discussion. I tried to defend the poor woman, suggesting that maybe we should drop the conversation. Marco informed me that he’d discuss anything he damned well pleased with his friend and it was not my place to judge or even butt in. I was just a little bit rattled, especially since Marco decided to prove his point.” She pauses blushing, then leans in a little closer and lowers her voice. “You’ll love this… he excused us from the table for a moment, saying he had a little business to take care of, then he led me to the men’s room where he proceeded to lift up my dress and spank my naked behind right there. And it wasn’t just a simple spanking. No, he gave me a lecture in submission while he did so…
“’Don’t you ever go against me in public again!’ he warned. He added a few other reprimands I don’t exactly remember, then he smacked me again another dozen times and finally pulled down my skirt.”
“I suppose you had an audience?”
Her blush broadens. “I guess so. I know that at least two men came into the restroom while I was being ‘taken care of” and used the urinals. Another guy emerged from one of the stalls and just stared at me getting spanked. My face was beet red—that is my ass and my face—but it was a vicious turn-on. When we returned to the table, Marco’s friend asked if everything was okay. Marco told him that he’d just punished me in the men’s restroom. He didn’t like my challenging him in public. The woman was horrified and I got nothing but nasty glances from her the rest of the night.” She stops the story and smiles.
A Master For A Desperate Slave Page 15