“Lady Crysania,” said the apprentice with becoming gravity, accepting her hand and bringing it to his lips, bowing slightly. Then he lifted his head, and the black hood that shadowed his face fell back.
“An elf!” Crysania gasped. Her hand remained in his. “But, that’s not possible, she began in confusion. “Not serving evil—”
“I am a dark elf, Revered Daughter,” the apprentice said, and she heard a bitterness in his voice. “At least, that is what my people call me.”
Crysania murmured in embarrassment. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean—”
She faltered and fell silent, not knowing where to look. She could almost feel Raistlin laughing at her. Once again, he had caught her off-balance. Angrily, she snatched her hand away from the apprentice’s cool grip and withdrew her other hand from Raistlin’s arm.
“The Revered Daughter has had a fatiguing journey, Dalamar,” Raistlin said. “Please show her to my study and pour her a glass of wine. With your permission, Lady Crysania”—the mage bowed—“there are a few matters that demand my attention. Dalamar, anything the lady requires, you will provide at once.”
“Certainly, Shalafi,” Dalamar answered respectfully.
Crysania said nothing as Raistlin left, suddenly overwhelmed with a sense of relief and a numbing exhaustion. Thus must the warrior feel, battling for his life against a skilled opponent, she observed silently as she followed the apprentice up a narrow, winding staircase.
Raistlin’s study was nothing like she had expected.
What had I expected, she asked herself. Certainly not this pleasant room filled with strange and fascinating books. The furniture was attractive and comfortable, a fire burned on the hearth, filling the room with warmth that was welcome after the chill of the walk to the Tower. The wine that Dalamar poured was delicious. The warmth of the fire seemed to seep into her blood as she drank a small sip.
Dalamar brought forward a small, ornately carved table and set it at her right hand. Upon this, he placed a bowl of fruit and a loaf of fragrant, still-warm bread.
“What is this fruit?” Crysania asked, picking up a piece and examining it in wonder. “I’ve never seen anything like this before.”
“Indeed not, Revered Daughter,” Dalamar answered, smiling. Unlike Raistlin, Crysania noticed, the young apprentice’s smile was reflected in his eyes. “Shalafi has it brought to him from the Isle of Mithas.”
“Mithas?” Crysania repeated in astonishment. “But that’s on the other side of the world! The minotaurs live there. They allow none to enter their kingdom! Who brings it?”
She had a sudden, terrifying vision of the servant who might have been summoned to bring such delicacies to such a master. Hastily, she returned the fruit to the bowl.
“Try it, Lady Crysania,” Dalamar said without a trace of amusement in his voice. “You will find it quite delicious. The Slalafi’s health is delicate. There are so few things he can tolerate. He lives on little else but this fruit, bread, and wine.”
Crysania’s fear ebbed. “Yes,” she murmured, her eyes going to the door involuntarily. “He is dreadfully frail, isn’t he. And that terrible cough …” Her voice was soft with pity.
“Cough? Oh, yes,” Dalamar said smoothly, “his … cough.” He did not continue and, if Crysania thought this odd, she soon forgot it in her contemplation of the room.
The apprentice stood a moment, waiting to see if she required anything else. When Crysania did not speak, he bowed. “If you need nothing more, lady, I will retire. I have my own studies to pursue.”
“Of course. I will be fine here,” Crysania said, coming out of her thoughts with a start. “He is your teacher, then,” she said in sudden realization. Now it was her turn to look at Dalamar intently. “Is he a good one? Do you learn from him?”
“He is the most gifted of any in our Order, Lady Crysania,” Dalamar said softly. “He is brilliant, skilled, controlled. Only one has lived who was as powerful—the great Fistandantilus. And my Shalafi is young, only twenty-eight. If he lives, he may well—”
“If he lives?” Crysania repeated, then felt irritated that she had unintentionally let a note of concern creep into her voice. It is right to feel concern, she told herself. After all, he is one of the gods’ creatures. All life is sacred.
“The Art is fraught with danger, my lady,” Dalamar was saying. “And now, if you will excuse me.…”
“Certainly,” Crysania murmured.
Bowing again, Dalamar padded quietly from the room, shutting the door behind him. Toying with her wine glass, Crysania stared into the dancing flames, lost in thought. She did not hear the door open—if indeed it did. She felt fingers touching her hair. Shivering, she looked around, only to see Raistlin sitting in a high-backed wooden chair behind his desk.
“Can I send for anything else? Is everything to your liking?” he asked politely.
“Y-yes,” Crysania stammered, setting her wine glass down so that he would not see her hand shake. “Everything is fine. More than fine, actually. Your apprentice—Dalamar? He is quite charming.”
“Isn’t he,” said Raistlin dryly. He placed the tips of the five fingers of each hand together and rested them upon the table.
“What marvelous hands you have,” Crysania said, without thinking. “How slender and supple the fingers are, and so delicate.” Suddenly realizing what she had been saying, she flushed and stammered. “B-but I-I suppose that is requisite to your Art—”
“Yes,” Raistlin said, smiling, and this time Crysania thought she saw actual pleasure in his smile. He held his hands to the light cast by the flames. “When I was just a child, I could amaze and delight my brother with the tricks these hands could—even then—perform.” Taking a golden coin from one of the secret pockets of his robes, Raistlin placed the coin upon the knuckles of his hand. Effortlessly, he made it dance and spin and whirl across his hand. It glistened in and out of his fingers. Flipping into the air, it vanished, only to reappear in his other hand. Crysania gasped in delight. Raistlin glanced up at her, and she saw the smile of pleasure twist into one of bitter pain.
“Yes,” he said, “it was my one skill, my one talent. It kept the other children amused. Sometimes it kept them from hurting me.”
“Hurting you?” Crysania asked hesitantly, stung by the pain in his voice.
He did not answer at once, his eyes on the golden coin he still held in his hand. Then he drew a deep breath. “I can picture your childhood,” he murmured. “You come from a wealthy family, so they tell me. You must have been beloved, sheltered, protected, given anything you wanted. You were admired, sought after, liked.”
Crysania could not reply. She felt suddenly overwhelmed with guilt.
“How different was my childhood.” Again, that smile of bitter pain. “My nickname was the Sly One. I was sickly and weak. And too smart. They were such fools! Their ambitions so petty—like my brother, who never thought deeper than his food dish! Or my sister, who saw the only way to attain her goals was with her sword. Yes, I was weak. Yes, they protected me. But some day, I vowed I wouldn’t need their protection! I would rise to greatness on my own, using my gift—my magic.”
His hand clenched, his golden-tinted skin turned pale. Suddenly he began to cough, the wrenching, wracking cough that twisted his frail body. Crysania rose to her feet, her heart aching with pain. But he motioned her to sit down. Drawing a cloth from a pocket, he wiped the blood from his lips.
“And this was the price I paid for my magic,” he said when he could speak again. His voice was little more than a whisper. “They shattered my body and gave me this accursed vision, so that all I look upon I see dying before my eyes. But it was worth it, worth it all! For I have what I sought—power. I don’t need them—any of them—anymore.”
“But this power is evil!” Crysania said, leaning forward in her chair and regarding Raistlin earnestly.
“Is it?” asked Raistlin suddenly. His voice was mild. “Is ambition evil? Is the quest for p
ower, for control over others evil? If so, then I fear, Lady Crysania, that you may as well exchange those white robes for black.”
“How dare you?” Crysania cried, shocked. “I don’t—”
“Ah, but you do,” Raistlin said with a shrug. “You would not have worked so hard to rise to the position you have in the church without having your share of ambition, of the desire for power.” Now it was his turn to lean forward. “Haven’t you always said to yourself—there is something great I am destined to do? My life will be different from the lives of others. I am not content to sit and watch the world pass by. I want to shape it, control it, mold it!”
Held fast by Raistlin’s burning gaze, Crysania could not move or utter a word. How could he know? she asked herself, terrified. Can he read the secrets of my heart?
“Is that evil, Lady Crysania?” Raistlin repeated gently, insistently.
Slowly, Crysania shook her head. Slowly, she raised her hand to her throbbing temples. No, it wasn’t evil. Not the way he spoke of it, but something wasn’t quite right. She couldn’t think. She was too confused. All that kept running through her mind was: How alike we are, he and I!
He was silent, waiting for her to speak. She had to say something. Hurriedly, she took a gulp of wine to give herself time to collect her scattered thoughts.
“Perhaps I do have those desires,” she said, struggling to find the words, “but, if so, my ambition is not for myself. I use my skills and talents for others, to help others. I use it for the church—”
“The church!” Raistlin sneered.
Crysania’s confusion vanished, replaced by cold anger. “Yes,” she replied, feeling herself on safe and secure ground, surrounded by the bastion of her faith. “It was the power of good, the power of Paladine, that drove away the evil in the world. It is that power I seek. That power that—”
“Drove away the evil?” Raistlin interrupted.
Crysania blinked. Her thoughts had carried her forward.
She hadn’t even been totally aware of what she was saying. “Why, yes—”
“But evil and suffering still remain in the world,” Raistlin persisted.
“Because of such as you!” Crysania cried passionately.
“Ah, no, Revered Daughter,” Raistlin said. “Not through any act of mine. Look—” He motioned her near with one hand, while with the other he reached once again into the secret pockets of his robe.
Suddenly wary and suspicious, Crysania did not move, staring at the object he drew forth. It was a small, round piece of crystal, swirling with color, very like a child’s marble. Lifting a silver stand from where it stood on a corner of his desk, Raistlin placed the marble on top of it. The thing appeared ludicrous, much too small for the ornate stand. Then Crysania gasped. The marble was growing! Or perhaps she was shrinking! She couldn’t be certain. But the glass globe was now the right size and rested comfortably upon the silver stand.
“Look into it,” Raistlin said softly.
“No,” Crysania drew back, staring fearfully at the globe. “What is that?”
“A dragon orb,” Raistlin replied, his gaze holding her fast. “It is the only one left on Krynn. It obeys my commands. I will not allow you to come to harm. Look inside the orb, Lady Crysania—unless you fear the truth.”
“How do I know it will show me the truth?” Crysania demanded, her voice shaking. “How do I know it won’t show me just what you tell it to show me?”
“If you know the way the dragons orbs were made long ago,” Raistlin replied, “you know they were created by all three of the Robes—the White, the Black, and the Red. They are not tools of evil, they are not tools of good. They are everything and nothing. You wear the medallion of Paladine”—the sarcasm had returned—“and you are strong in your faith. Could I force you to see what you did not want to see?”
“What will I see?” Crysania whispered, curiosity and a strange fascination drawing her near the desk.
“Only what your eyes have seen, but refused to look at.”
Raistlin placed his thin fingers upon the glass, chanting words of command. Hesitantly, Crysania leaned over the desk and looked into the dragon orb. At first she saw nothing inside the glass globe but a faint swirling green color. Then she drew back. There were hands inside the orb! Hands that were reaching out.…
“Do not fear,” murmured Raistlin. “The hands come for me.”
And, indeed, even as he spoke, Crysania saw the hands inside the orb reach out and touch Raistlin’s hands. The image vanished. Wild, vibrant colors whirled madly inside the orb for an instant, making Crysania dizzy with their light and their brilliance. Then they, too, were gone. She saw …
“Palanthas,” she said, startled. Floating on the mists of morning, she could see the entire city, gleaming like a pearl, spread out before her eyes. And then the city began to rush up at her, or perhaps she was falling down into it. Now she was hovering over New City, now she was over the Wall, now she was inside Old City. The Temple of Paladine rose before her, the beautiful, sacred grounds peaceful and serene in the morning sunlight. And then she was behind the Temple, looking over a high wall.
She caught her breath. “What is this?” she asked.
“Have you never seen it?” Raistlin replied. “This alley so near the sacred grounds?”
Crysania shook her head, “N-no,” she answered, her voice breaking. “And, yet, I must have. I have lived in Palanthas all my life. I know all of—”
“No, lady,” Raistlin said, his fingertips lightly caressing the dragon orb’s crystalline surface. “No, you know very little.”
Crysania could not answer. He spoke the truth, apparently, for she did not know this part of the city. Littered with refuse, the alley was dark and dismal. Morning’s sunlight did not find its way past the buildings that leaned over the street as if they had no more energy to stand upright. Crysania recognized the buildings now. She had seen them from the front. They were used to store everything from grain to casks of wine and ale. But how much different they looked from the front! And who were these people, these wretched people?
“They live there,” Raistlin answered her unspoken question.
“Where?” Crysania asked in horror. “There? Why?”
“They live where they can. Burrowing into the heart of the city like maggots, they feed off its decay. As for why?” Raistlin shrugged. “They have nowhere else to go.”
“But this is terrible! I’ll tell Elistan. We’ll help them, give them money—”
“Elistan knows,” Raistlin said softly.
“No, he can’t! That’s impossible!”
“You knew. If not about this, then you knew of other places in your fair city that are not so fair.”
“I didn’t—” Crysania began angrily, then stopped. Memories washed over her in waves—her mother averting her face as they rode in their carriage through certain parts of town, her father quickly drawing shut the curtains in the carriage windows or leaning out to tell the driver to take a different road.
The scene shimmered, the colors swirled, it faded and was replaced by another, and then another. Crysania watched in agony as the mage ripped the pearl-white facade from the city, showing her blackness and corruption beneath. Bars, brothels, gambling dens, the wharves, the docks … all spewed forth their refuse of misery and suffering before Crysania’s shocked vision. No longer could she avert her face, there were no curtains to pull shut. Raistlin dragged her inside, brought her close to the hopeless, the starving, the forlorn, the forgotten.
“No,” she pleaded, shaking her head and trying to back away from the desk. “Please show me no more.”
But Raistlin was pitiless. Once again the colors swirled, and they left Palanthas. The dragon orb carried them around the world, and everywhere Crysania looked, she saw more horrors. Gully dwarves, a race cast off from their dwarven kin, living in squalor in whatever part of Krynn they could find that no one else wanted. Humans eking out a wretched existence in lands where rain h
ad ceased to fall. The Wilder elves, enslaved by their own people. Clerics, using their power to cheat and amass great wealth at the expense of those who trusted them.
It was too much. With a wild cry, Crysania covered her face with her hands. The room swayed beneath her feet. Staggering, she nearly fell. And then Raistlin’s arms were around her. She felt that strange, burning warmth from his body and the soft touch of the black velvet. There was a smell of spices, rose petals, and other, more mysterious odors. She could hear his shallow breathing rattle in his lungs.
Gently, Raistlin led Crysania back to her chair. She sat down, quickly drawing away from his touch. His nearness was both repelling and attracting at the same time, adding to her feelings of loss and confusion. She wished desperately that Elistan were here. He would know, he would understand. For there had to be an explanation! Such terrible suffering, such evil should not be allowed. Feeling empty and hollow, she stared into the fire.
“We are not so very different.” Raistlin’s voice seemed to come from the flames. “I live in my Tower, devoting myself to my studies. You live in your Tower, devoting yourself to your faith. And the world turns around us.”
“And that is true evil,” Crysania said to the flames. “To sit and do nothing.”
“Now you understand,” Raistlin said. “No longer am I content to sit and watch. I have studied long years for one reason, with one aim. And now that is within my grasp. I will make a difference, Crysania. I will change the world. That is my plan.”
Crysania looked up swiftly. Her faith had been shaken, but its core was strong. “Your plan! It is the plan Paladine warned me of in my dream. This plan to change the world will cause the world’s destruction!” Her hand clenched in her lap. “You must not go through with it! Paladine—”
Raistlin made an impatient gesture with his hand. His golden eyes flashed and, for a moment, Crysania shrank back, catching a glimpse of the smoldering fires within the man.
“Paladine will not stop me,” Raistlin said, “for I seek to depose his greatest enemy.”
Time of the Twins: Legends, Volume One (Dragonlance Legends) Page 16