by Bailey James
How can he? How can anybody? If I admit I’m seeing things, they’ll whisk me back to the hospital where they’ll poke and prod at me, trying to find what’s broken if they can even find it. And if they don’t? Would they have to place me in the mental hospital and lock me away for my own safety? Flashes from every mental asylum horror story carousel through my mind, and I shudder.
However, if I don’t say anything, I’ll continue to see these things. But maybe, just maybe, I can ignore them. No one says I have to talk to Jackson. I don’t have to pay attention to my hallucinations. In fact, I’m sure they’d actively encourage me not to.
“No, I don’t know what you’re going through,” Tyler says into my ear, before pushing me back a little to stare into my eyes, “but I’m here for you. Always.” He brushes a strand of hair from my face, kisses my left cheek and then my right one before brushing his lips across mine.
Unfortunately, it doesn’t have the effect on me he intended. Instead of calming me down, it makes me cry harder. Here I am, dating this perfect guy, and I’m hallucinating about other boys. What kind of girlfriend does that make me?
I sob into his chest; my tears soak his shirt as he tugs me close again. The door opens, and Mom rushes in. “What’s going on? Why is she crying?” she demands.
Ty holds me tightly. “I’m not sure. She just started crying. I think maybe she’s worried about scars?”
Mom kneels beside us and places a hand on my shoulder. “Honey, is this true? Are you anxious about what you look like?”
“Yes.” The lie rolls right off my tongue; it might make me seem shallow, but I’d rather be shallow than nuts.
She blows out a breath. “Honey, they are just superficial wounds. They will heal. The doctor said it might take a while, but they should all heal without any, or very minimal, scarring.”
“Should doesn’t mean will.” I force my lips into a pout.
Ty and Mom exchange a look. “There is no use worrying about what may happen,” Mom says. “Right now, we need to focus on healing, and you’re only going to be able to do that if you rest.”
“Maybe she needs a change of scene,” Rose says, from where she leans against the frame of my doorway.
Tyler and Mom turn to look at her. “What do you mean?” Mom asks.
Rose straightens and takes a few steps into my room, so she’s standing next to Mom. “She’s been stuck inside the house for the last twenty-four hours, and before that, she was in the hospital for almost twice that. Maybe if she got out of the house, she would stop focusing on what she looks like.”
“No,” Tyler says flatly, in a tone I’ve never heard before. “The doctor said she needed to stay in bed and rest.”
Rose tosses her hands in the air. “It’s doing her more harm than good sitting here thinking about her face and getting depressed. Look! She hid the mirror, for goodness’ sake.” She motions toward the empty wall.
I slant her a look. Thanks, Rose.
Mom observes me for a second, then glances over to where the mirror was supposed to be before she says, slowly, “I don’t know about this. The doctor did say she should stay in bed and rest. But you raise a good point, Rose.”
“Maybe she should get away from the house,” Rose says, crossing her arms across her chest with a knowing smirk on her face.
I narrow my eyes at her. What is she doing?
She’s not wrong. If I get away from the house, I can get away from the mirror and all the craziness that comes with it.
“That sounds good,” I quickly interject, giving Ty my best butter-wouldn’t-melt look. “I want to go. Please?” I flutter my lashes shamelessly.
He sighs. “Is she going to be okay to do that? I thought she had to stay in bed,” Tyler asks Mom, ignoring Rose completely.
I bite my lip and wait for Mom’s response. If there’s one thing I know in my almost eighteen years of living with her, it’s that if I interrupt Mom while she’s thinking, the answer is an automatic no. Do not pass go. Do not collect two-hundred dollars. And no way in hell will anything change her mind.
“Well, the doctor advised her to take it easy—” she starts.
Don’t think it goes unnoticed that she switched the doctor’s instructions from ‘staying in bed’ to ‘taking it easy.’ I knew she’d been exaggerating.
“—but, obviously, sitting here doing nothing isn’t helping her. It’s giving her way too much time to think about other things. Maybe it would be better if she were kept busy.” She levels her best mama bear look on Ty. “Can I trust you to do that but still take it easy?”
Tyler nods; a solemn look flashes over his features, even if I do catch a glimpse of excitement in his eyes. “Yes. Um…the others are still at the hotel. I can take her there, and she can sunbathe or lounge at the pool. She’ll still be relaxing then and no mirror.” He pauses. “I can bring her back every night—”
“She should stay down there,” Rose pipes up, making me whip my head in her direction and gape at her. What the eff? “If she comes back alone every night, she’ll just obsess about her face again.” Rose stares at me, her expression telling me to shut my mouth and play along. So I do.
Mom sends Rose a withering look, but Rose stares back at her with only a sweet smile on her face. When Mom turns her attention back at me, I quickly change my face from confused to the closest I can get to sad puppy dog.
Eventually, Mom sighs. “All right. Fine.”
I stare at her in shock. Mom—my mom—is letting me stay at the hotel? “But…Mom?” Shut up, Lily! Don’t question it! Just take it and run!
“Well, your driving home at night obviously didn’t work out very well,” Rose interjects, winking when I give her a dirty look.
Suddenly, I get it: she’s playing our mom as only Rose can. Rose may be overemotional, but she knows how Mom ticks like no one else, and she uses it to her advantage every chance she gets. I’m going to owe my sister big after this.
“That’s true. Besides,” Mom peers over at the empty wall again, “I think I need to make a special exception. Your mental well-being is more important than a silly rule.” My jaw drops. I can’t help it. There’s nothing Mom likes more than silly rules. “You’ll be eighteen in less than a month.” She pauses and narrows her gaze at Tyler. “How are the rooms set up?”
“What do you mean?” he asks, apparently in just as much shock as I am.
“Are the girls separate from the boys?”
He blinks. “Oh…yeah! Well…sort of. We’ve rented a suite. The bedrooms are separate, but the rest is all together.”
“Well, I suppose that’s fine.” My mom purses her lips. “As long as the bedrooms are separate.” She looks directly at me. “I expect you to behave yourself, young lady, and present yourself in a matter befitting a lady.”
I’m not sure what that means, but she could have made me promise to strip naked and sing to the moon every night, and I’d agree. “Sure. Okay. Thanks.”
Mom sighs. “Pack your stuff. I’ll talk to your dad.”
I catch my sister’s eye and mouth, “Thank you,” before she winks at me again and follows Mom, hopefully to work her mojo on Dad.
Tyler stares at me before hugging me close again. “What the hell just happened?” Before I can answer, he nudges me back to look into my face. He doesn’t look as happy as I do with this new development. “Are you sure you’re up to this?”
I nod so enthusiastically I’m surprised my head doesn’t roll off. “Yes, positive. I’m fine, really. I think my sister is right. I just need to get away from the house.” And my mirror, I think.
He purses his mouth, his jaw moving side to side as he stares at me as if trying to solve some vast puzzle. “All right…but if at any time you feel weird or…anything, tell me. Please. I don’t want to lose you or see you bump that beautiful head of yours again.”
I grin, feeling lighter than I have in days. “It’s a deal. Promise” I kiss him, letting him deepen it only for a second before I get up to start to pack.
Ten minutes later, Rose strolls into the bathroom, where I’m grabbing my toiletries. “You’re welcome.” She grins.
I glance at her to share a smirk. “I guess you’re pretty worried about my mental health, huh?”
Her face turns serious. “We all are. You hid your mirror under your bed, and you were mumbling in your sleep last night about someone named Jackson and other dimensions. It was a little creepy.” She gives a delicate shiver.
Hmm, so maybe it was just a dream. Maybe I was sleepwalking or something. That’s good to know.
“Lily? Are you listening to me?” Rose asks, her face worried.
I blink to focus on her. “I’m sorry. What?”
She places her hand on my arm. “I asked if you wanted me to do your makeup. I know the bruises bother you. I can make it look like they’re not there.”
I spin around to face her fully. “You can?” I know she has a hand with makeup, but I didn’t realize she was that good.
“Yep. Come on. I’ll get you fixed up in no time.”
Twenty minutes later, I walk back into my bedroom to find Tyler sitting on my bed, waiting. When he sees me, he beams. “Wow! You look great.” Then he winces. “Not that you didn’t before.”
Feeling better, I laugh and kiss him. “I know what you meant. Thank you.”
Relief pools into his eyes and he grabs my bag with one hand while he wraps the other arm around my waist. “Ready to go?”
“Yep.” I practically skip out the door, refusing to even think about the mirror. I don’t want to ruin my good mood.
I smile at the car that sits in the driveway; it’s a beautiful red Camaro. “Whoa! Whose car is this?” He definitely didn’t have this yesterday.
He grins as he opens the door for me. “Eighteenth birthday present. Dad had it in the driveway waiting for me this morning.”
“Wow. My parents would never buy me a brand-new car.” I run my hand over the roof of the gorgeous machine.
Speaking of which, I wonder if I’m going to get a new one, now that my old one decided to go for a swim. Knowing my luck, I’ll get Rose’s hand-me-down car again, and she’d get the new one. I’ll be stuck with a fairy in the back window again.
He chuckles as he starts the car. “Are you going to miss the fairy?”
The rumble of the engine gives me a shiver and I cuddle into the black leather seat with my own purr. “Nope,” I say, popping the ‘p.’
“Don’t all girls like fairies?” he teases.
I give him a mock glare and stick out my tongue. He knows my exact feelings on fairies. Terrifying. They’re even more disturbing than clowns, and I’ve seen both versions of It.
With a laugh, I crack open the window and enjoy the wind in my hair as he roars toward the hotel.
When we walk down the hall to the suite an hour later, I stop Tyler from unlocking the door by placing my hand on his arm. “What do they know?”
He doesn’t have to ask who “they” are. “Just that you were in an accident by a hit and run driver, but you’re fine.” He kisses the bandage on my head. “I didn’t tell them about your arm or the concussion. I figured I’d let you explain that…if you want to, that is.”
I frown down at the cast. “Great. Thanks,” I say, my voice sarcastic.
He tucks his finger under my chin and tilts my face to him. “I didn’t know how much you wanted them to know at the time. I didn’t think you’d see them so soon.”
I sigh. “No, it’s fine. I’m just being cranky. I’m sorry.”
He kisses my forehead again, and I’m beginning to think he only does it to calm me because he has no idea what else to do. “It’s okay. I understand. If I were going through what you are, I’d be the same.” He peers directly into my eyes. “But, remember, I’m here for you. No matter what. I love you. You’re the most important person in my life, and I will do whatever it takes to be here for you.”
“I love you, too.” I tear up again as my heart swells. It isn’t the first time we’ve used those three words to each other, but it still turns my blood to champagne and makes me feel warm and fuzzy all over.
He presses his lips to mine, and I let out a happy sigh when he steps back and takes my hand.
“If the guys are too much, just squeeze my hand, and I’ll figure something out for the two of us. Okay?”
I nod, but it isn’t the guys I’m worried about. It’s the girls. My best friends. They’ll see right through the makeup. Especially Leah; we’ve been as close as sisters since she spilled her paint on me in kindergarten; she sees everything. I don’t want to upset her any more than she already is.
He skims the card key over the electronic lock, and, with a beep, the door opens. We exchange a look when we see the dark room. “Maybe they’re still at the beach,” I say quietly.
“No. I don’t think so,” he says when we hear a snore.
I bite my cheeks to stop the giggle when my eyes adjust to the darkness, and I see in front of us. Leah and Noah—Ty’s other best friend—are on the couch, his arms wrapped around her, her head resting on his chest. They’re both asleep.
“That’s new,” I say and look over at Ty to try and judge just how new.
He nods. “They were fighting when I left. I guess they decided to hook up instead.”
I grin and stifle another laugh. I knew their fighting was just their form of flirting. “Where are Carly and Owen?” Owen is Ty’s best friend, and,, they’re as thick as thieves, as close to each other as Leah and me. Carly’s my other best friend, and even though we’re exact opposites, we’re nearly as inseparable as Leah and I.
“I’m not sure.” He shrugs but peers around the room. “Let’s get your stuff in your room, and then we’ll go to the beach. I don’t want you on your feet for too long. As happy as I am that you’re here, I’m still not so sure this is such a good idea.”
I don’t say anything. I totally get where he’s coming from. If the roles were reversed, I would probably be saying the same thing. I follow him to the first bedroom, bumping into him when he stops short. He spins around and propels me backward, blocking my view of the room. I peer at him, but he shakes his head once and places a finger over his lips before he shuts the door.
He walks quickly down the hall to the next room, leaving me standing and staring at the closed door as he disappears through another. When he steps back out, his eyes are amused. He rolls them, gesturing for me to follow him to the third bedroom. When I do, he shuts the door.
“Wow!” I breathed. I’ve never been in such a lush room before and I’m sad that I’m only just now seeing the rooms. I’d never gotten past the living room and bathroom the last time I was here.
The walls are papered with a crème-colored silk paper. A set of French doors lead out to what I assume is a balcony, but sheer white drapes block my view. The queen-size bed is smack dab in the middle of the left wall and is covered in a duvet the same color as the walls. I’m almost drooling with how comfortable and inviting it looks.
Maybe a short nap won’t hurt, I think.
I’m so lost in the perusal of my temporary digs that Ty startles the hell out of me when he places his hand on my shoulder and gently turns me to face him.
“We have a slight problem,” he says, his eyes a mix of amusement and worry.
“Oh?” I lift an eyebrow.
“Well…it…uh…appears that, since I left, the boys-in-one-room-girls-in-the-other rule kind of fell apart.”
I shrug, not all that surprised. “Did you really expect Carly and Owen to sleep in separate rooms with no parents around?” Carly and Owen have been dating since before Ty and me. They’re the reason Ty and I even knew each other in the first place. But, despite
the length of time they’ve been together, they can’t seem to keep their hands off each other. Ever.
He chuckles and rubs the back of his neck. “Well, no. That’s why there’s a third bedroom, but I didn’t expect Noah and Leah to hook up.”
I shrug. “So, what does that mean for us?”
The look he gives me sets my entire body aflame. “Looks like we’ll both be in here tonight.”
Chapter Five
I twist the ring on my left index finger as I think about how this makes me feel. A few days ago, I would have probably insisted on sleeping on the couch—although I’m sure Ty would have sacrificed the bed for me—but now it just seems ridiculous. I know Ty’s the one, why have I been fighting so hard? Besides, sharing a bed is different than having sex. A girl can do one and not the other.
“Well, I think I can make a concession.” I finally say with a wink, pushing my nerves back down. “At least this once.”
He glances at the bed. “Are you sure? I don’t mind sleeping on the couch.”
“The bed’s huge. We probably won’t even touch each other,” I tease.
He grins, and then pulls me closer, mashing our hips together. “Well, that’s no fun. I want to touch you.” He places his mouth below my ear, making me gasp. “I like to touch you.” He nibbles down my throat.
“Um…” My mind can’t even put coherent thoughts together as he ducks his hands under my shirt, inciting tiny fires wherever his fingers and lips touch.
When his fingers brush the undersides of my breast, a little gasp escapes my lips. He pulls back with a sigh. “Go get changed into your swimsuit. We’ll go sit out in the sun and relax,” he says, stressing the last word.
A bit more than disappointed that he’s not pushing to go further now that I’ve made up my mind to let him, and with my head still swimming, I take my time gathering the parts of my bikini and making my way to the suite’s bathroom. Is it too much to ask him to finish what he’d started? I groan when I try tying the back of my swimsuit top.