by Bailey James
“Uh, I think he had black hair. And green eyes. Oh, and he had a scar over his eye.”
“Oh, wow,” she breathes and moves on to talking about how sexy scars are.
Leah shoots me a sad look, and I turn away to the mirror again, only to see my own reflection bouncing back. I begin to wonder what Jackson is doing. Is he writing another song? Is he reading, watching the news about his meet?
I scowl. I want to go home. I want to fall asleep talking to Jackson again. It’s not like I’m going to be able to sleep tonight without hearing his voice.
“Yoo-hoo. Lily! Earth to Lily,” Bridget says with a laugh, snapping her fingers in front of my face.
I jerk back and scowl at her before forcing my lips into a sheepish smile. “Sorry.”
Leah laughs, but I can tell it’s as forced as my smile. Her eyes seem as worried as my parents’ and Ty’s have been, and I make a mental note to try harder to be in the now for as long as I’m here tonight.
“We were talking about that new movie that came out, the one with Johnny Depp,” she says.
“Oh, yeah. We watched that earlier,” I say, trying to remember anything Tyler had said about it.
“That’s what Bridget said. She wanted to know if it was good.”
“Oh, uh. I don’t really know,” I finally say with a wince.
Carly snickers. “Well, we know the reason for that.” She winks.
I snatch up that life preserver and shrug, giving all of them a saucy grin. “You never know.”
Leah rolls her eyes. “Yeah, we do. You and Ty have been tighter than ever since the accident.”
If only she knew, I think guiltily. “So?” I ask instead.
“So, is there anything you want to share with us?”
I tilt my head. “What do you mean?”
“You know what I mean,” she says, and leans forward as if I’m going to divulge some secret. “Come on, you can tell us.”
Now I’m baffled. “Tell you what?”
Bridget snorts, that sneer of hers pulling her face out of shape. “Oh, geez. You finally slept with him, didn’t you? You knew I’d see it all over his face. That’s why you ditched me at the theater.”
“What?” I say, laughing. “No, I didn’t.”
“Yeah, right. Do you really expect us to believe you two aren’t sleeping together?” Carly asks, grinning like the Cheshire cat. “We all felt the lust pouring off you both at the hotel.”
I frown. It’s one thing to let them think I made out with Ty in the movie. It’s another to allow them to think I slept with him. “Yeah, I do,” I say flatly. “It’s the truth.”
The three girls exchange a look, and then Leah shrugs. “Fine. Don’t share. Just don’t expect us to tell you any sexy secrets either,” she says, with a smile and a wink.
I’m pretty sure she thinks she’s saving me from discussing embarrassing details. I’d be grateful under other circumstances, but I only feel more guilt and a lot of anger that they don’t believe me. But then again, I am lying about other stuff, so maybe I don’t blame them for not believing me.
Leah changes the subject. I can’t seem to even keep the thread, no matter what I do. So, eventually, I just give up. It isn’t worth it. Let them think what they want. It isn’t that, and I know it. My mind wanders to the song Jackson wrote. I have no doubts he wrote it for me. I feel all warm and fluttery thinking about it.
Suddenly, the girls get up and signal for me to follow. Still lost in my thoughts, I trail behind them as they wander to the kitchen for sleepover snacks. Since I’ve been in Leah’s kitchen too many times to count, I roam around gathering things without having to think about it, Jackson’s song playing over and over in my head. I can almost hear his voice singing it.
The moon is so full, and all I can think of is you, as the house creaks quietly around me…That you’re nothing more than shadows in my mirror.
Giggles break into my thoughts, and I turn around with a smile. “What’s so funny?”
“You were singing,” Bridget says, grinning from ear to ear.
“I was not,” I say, even though I’m not sure that’s true. I could have been.
“Yes, you were. Something about shadows in your mirror,” Carly says. “It’s pretty. Who sings it?”
Heat crawls from my chest to my cheeks. Damn it. “Uh, I don’t know. I heard it on the radio, but I missed the name of the singer.”
The girls exchange another look and smirk at each other. I blush brighter as they tease me about Ty distracting me. When Leah takes pity on me and distracts the other two by talking about another new song on the radio, I grab a soda and disappear into her bedroom. I sneak up to her mirror and am about to try and get Jackson, but they come down the hall discussing me.
“She’s got it bad,” Bridget says. There’s something in her voice. I’m not sure what it is, but it doesn’t really feel like she’s happy for me.
“Can it really be about Ty? I mean, they’ve been dating a while.” This is from Carly, and I frown at her statement.
“I don’t know. It’s odd. I’ve never seen her this way with Ty,” Leah says. “And they’ve already used the L-word. I can’t imagine she’d go gooey-eyed over him at this point.”
“Ooh, do you think she found someone else?” Bridget says, her voice suddenly chipper.
I narrow my eyes. Is Bridget happy I might have found someone else?
It’s silent for a minute, and I bite my lip before Leah bursts out laughing. “Boy, that would so not be Lily. She adores Ty. She’d do anything for him. Maybe she’s just different because of the accident. You know how those things can screw things up. Maybe she’s thinking about how close of a call it was and wants to spend as much time as she can with him, just in case. And I know it scared the shit out of Ty. He’s been spending every minute he can with her.”
I walk over to the window, stuck between feeling happy I don’t have to try and lie that I’m not falling for Jackson.
Oh shit! I think, clasping my hands together and twisting them. Am I falling for him? Is that what’s going on? Is that why I can’t stop thinking about him? What does that mean for Ty? Have I fallen out of love with him? Do I love him? Did I ever?
The girls walk in, yanking me from my panicked whirlwind of questions. I can’t think about any of that right now. That’s just too much to digest when I’m not alone. When they see me, Carly nudges Bridget and winks. I force a smile and join the circle.
“I’m sorry, guys. I’ve been a total drag. I promise I’ll try and stay in the now. I’ve just been a little panicky since the accident. It made me realize how short life is.”
Leah tosses her arm around my shoulder and sends the other girls a look. “It’s all right.” She claps her hands. “Okay, who’s in for a game of Truth or Dare?”
Hours later, when everyone else has crashed, I lay wide awake, staring at the stars out the window. I miss Jackson. My thoughts are still whirling around me. I need to talk to him. I can’t use the mirror in here, but I bet the bathroom would work well. As long as I’m quiet.
Being careful not to wake anyone, I creep out of the room and into the bathroom. I lock the door, praying that this will work. There doesn’t seem to be any rhyme or reason for which mirror will work and which ones won’t.
I crawl onto the wall-length sink, using the toilet as a step stool, and press my hand to the mirror. “Please, please let me see Jackson,” I whisper, glancing to the door.
The mirror shimmers, and I grin when I see Jackson lying on his bed. He’s staring at his ceiling, his arms crossed behind his head.
“Jackson!” I whisper as loudly as I dare.
He immediately jerks his gaze in my direction before jumping off the bed and hurrying to the mirror. He grins when he sees me kneeling on the sink. “Interesting location,” he says.
“Well,
you know me,” I say, and give a jaunty shrug.
“How did you get up there?” he asks.
“I crawled.”
He frowns. “With your cast?”
“Yeah, I used the toilet.”
He starts laughing. “Oh, okay. How’s your girls’ night?”
I make a face. “Awful. I’m a horrible actress. They know something’s up.”
He stops laughing. “How?”
“Well, I haven’t been the best guest. I keep thinking about you,” I say, with a self-deprecating smile.
His crooked smile pops back out. “Yeah? That’s cool.”
I roll my eyes. “No, it’s not. I can’t get you out of my head. What’s wrong with me?” I ask, trying to get more comfortable on the counter. I finally just pull my legs up to my chin and wrap my good arm around them, leaning the side of my head against the mirror.
“You’re in my head all the time too, Lily. Don’t think you’re not.”
A tingle blows through me. Does that mean he’s falling for me, too? Is that what’s going on between us? Are we falling for each other?
He rests his hand on the side of my face. The glass warms as if he is touching me.
“I wish you could,” I say without thinking.
“What?”
“Touch me,” I whisper.
“Me, too,” he says after a moment.
His voice is husky, and that warm jittery feeling courses through me. I want nothing more than to stay here forever, no matter how uncomfortable it is.
He snuggles up to his side and leans his head against mine. His hand slides toward the bottom, where mine is. We sit like that for several minutes until I start to fall asleep, soothed by nothing more than his presence.
“Lily?”
“Um, hmm.”
“I…”
“Yeah,” I say when he trails off.
He’s quiet for another moment before he shrinks in on himself and sighs heavily. “You should go to sleep.”
Disappointment shrouds me. I’m sure that’s not what he was going to tell me, but I don’t push it. I just say, “Yeah, I guess. I’ll be home in the morning.”
“I’ll be here.”
I don’t move. “I don’t want to go.”
“I don’t want you to go either, but you need to sleep. I don’t think a counter is very comfortable.”
I laugh. “No, I guess it isn’t.”
“Then go to sleep.”
I jump off the counter and turn around. “I’ll see you when I get back home?”
“Yes.” He smiles, sending all sorts of feelings flying around my belly.
I back out of the room, keeping my eyes on the mirror until I have no choice but to turn around.
He smiles and says, “Good night,” as I turn around and run into Leah.
She raises an eyebrow. “Who were you talking to?”
“Ty.” I push past her.
“No, you weren’t.” She grabs my arm and stops me.
I turn slowly to face her as those lead weights drop into my stomach again. “What do you mean?”
“I mean what I said. You weren’t talking to Ty. I just got done talking to him. He called to make sure you were okay. He said you’ve been—strange since the accident.”
“Oh.” Shit, shit, shit, I repeat in my head like a mantra.
She crosses her arms over her chest. “Would you like to explain who you were really talking to?”
“I can’t,” I say, shame and guilt eating at me. I try to push past her again.
“Lily, stop, please. You’re my best friend. We tell each other everything. Will you please tell me what’s going on?” That same worry is back in her eyes, and, so I can’t see it, I take a few more steps away from her.
“I can’t. I’m sorry.”
“At least tell me this, is it another boy?”
I lower my lashes and decide on the simple truth. “Yes,” I whisper, and, in her shock, I’m able to push past her to enter the room and curl underneath the blankets of my makeshift bed. I don’t sleep until way after Leah returns to the room.
Chapter Twenty-Two
The following day, the four of us sit at Leah’s kitchen table while her mom runs around making us breakfast. She’s a petite woman and looks like a carbon copy of Leah. Since Leah is an only child, she’s her mom’s primary focus. She tries to make sure Leah has whatever she wants. Despite that, she’s a strict rule enforcer and never lets Leah get away with much, so Leah didn’t turn into a spoiled rotten bitch.
Carly and Bridget are chattering on again while Leah watches me. Her face is composed into what I’d dubbed “The Thinker” because she looks just like the statue whenever she does it. I know Leah’s still thinking about what I told her last night, but I can’t do anything about it. I regret telling her the truth, but she is my best friend, and I do tell her everything. It’s been hell not being able to tell her what’s really going on. I just hope she doesn’t tell anyone, especially Ty. That won’t go over well at all.
After breakfast, I try to slip upstairs to gather my stuff to head home.
Carly stops me. “Aren’t you going to the mall with us?” she asks.
“Uh, no. I need to get home.”
Leah frowns, but Carly only shrugs and goes back to talking to Bridget about the nose ring she wants to get. Owen apparently thinks it would look sexy on her, so she wants to impress him when she sees him tomorrow.
With a shake of my head, I wander upstairs to repack my stuff.
I’ve just finished packing when Leah walks in. “You’re going to meet him, aren’t you? This new boy.”
“It’s not what you think, Leah.”
“Then tell me what it is. You’ve been ignoring me for days. Ty says you’re acting odd. And I’m pretty sure this new boy has something to do with it.”
“I’m sorry for ignoring you. I’ve just had a lot going on. I really can’t tell you what. I want to, but I can’t. You wouldn’t believe me.” I toss my book bag over my shoulder and push past her and out the door.
She runs after me and snags my arm. “Please stay. Go to the mall with us.” She glances over her shoulder, and a cackle from Bridget drifts up the stairs. She fakes a shudder. “Don’t make me go by myself.”
With an inward sigh, I chuckle and nod. “All right. I’ll save your sanity and go with, but just because you’re already insane enough for the two of us.”
She slips an arm around my waist. “And you can tell me about this new guy.”
At the mall, Carly and Bridget ditch us almost immediately when we don’t want to get anything pierced. The two of us wander around, window-shopping and chit-chatting about inane things.
“Okay, what’s the deal?” she asks after a while.
“The deal?”
“Yeah. What’s this new guy’s name?”
I think about how much to share for a moment, but can’t see the harm in telling her the truth about a few things. It might just get her off my back long enough to breathe.
“Jackson,” I reply.
“What does he look like?”
I smile, picturing his face. “He’s gorgeous. He’s got brown hair so dark it’s almost black, and green eyes. They look almost like emeralds. He’s a swimmer, and he’s got all these long, lean muscles all over his body.”
“Wow, kind of sounds like you,” she mumbles with a frown, then shakes herself and smiles at me. “You’ve got it bad, girl.”
A shot of adrenaline makes my stomach flutter. “I barely know him,” I mumble.
“When did you meet him?”
“The day of the accident,” I answer without thinking.
She frowns. “At the beach?”
I realize my mistake instantly. “Uh, yes.”
She smirks at me. “I knew y
ou took too long getting the hotdogs from that outdoor vendor. You met him then, didn’t you?”
I bite my lip. “Yeah. He was the boy who knocked me down. The one who bought the hotdogs because he spilled them on the ground.”
Understanding dawns in her eyes, and she grins at me. “The one who told you that you had pretty eyes?”
I’d totally forgotten about that, but I grab onto that with both hands. “Yep. He asked for my phone number, and I gave it to him. He called the day after I got back from the hotel.”
Not a complete lie, but we hadn’t exchanged numbers. He’d given me his number, and I’d told him I had a boyfriend. He’d just shrugged it off and told me to call him if I ever changed my mind.
“Wow,” Leah breathes. “So, how old is he? Where does he go to school? When can I meet him? How come I haven’t met him already?”
I answer her questions and the hundred or so ones she has after that. Every time I think she’s drained herself of curiosity, she finds more to ask me. It surprises me just how much I know about Jackson, despite only having just met him, but talking about it helps relieve the guilt, and for the rest of that afternoon, I feel like a normal teen girl talking to her best friend about her new crush.
On the way home, I can’t help but keep glancing in the rearview mirror for Jackson, but he never appears. I wonder, with a smile, if the fates are taking pity on me so I won’t crash again. I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t since I expect it this time, but with my luck, I’d get distracted looking at him and crash anyway.
When I get home, I find a note taped to my bedroom door. My brother and sister are with their friends. Mom and Dad have gone to the Farmers’ Market and then off to a movie themselves. They’ll be back later tonight.
Giddy with my bit of freedom, I skip up the stairs and straight to my mirror. Jackson sits on his bed, watching the hologram thing. He has a frown on his face.
I gaze at him for a few minutes until I realize he’s watching the meet from the day before.
“Why are you watching that?”
He spins toward me, a wide grin spreading across his face. “There she is. I’m watching my form to see what I can improve on. My trainer insists on it.”