His heart jumped and his fingers jerked on the steering wheel. "Is that a threat or a promise?"
She glanced at him shyly. "That depends on you."
He didn't speak for a minute. "Leslie, you can only go so far with a man before things get out of hand," he began slowly. "You don't know much about relationships, because you haven't dated. I want you to understand how it is with me. I haven't touched another woman since I met you. That makes me more vulnerable than I would be normally." His eyes touched her profile and averted to the highway. "I can't make light love to you anymore," he said finally, his voice harsh. "The strain is more than I can bear."
Her breath caught. She smoothed at an imaginary spot on her gown. "You want us to...to go on like we are."
"I do not," he said gruffly. "But I'm not going to put any pressure on you. I meant what I said about letting you make the moves."
She turned the small purse over in her hands, watching the silver sequins on it glitter in the light. "You've been very patient."
"Because I was very careless of you in those first weeks we knew each other," he said flatly. "I'm trying to show you that sex isn't the basis of our relationship."
She smiled. "I knew that already," she replied. "You've taken wonderful care of me."
He shrugged. "Penance."
She grinned, because it wasn't. He'd shown her in a hundred nonverbal ways how he felt about her. Even the other women in the office had remarked on it.
He glanced at her. "No comment?"
"Oh, I'm sorry, I was just thinking about something."
“About what?'' he asked conversationally.
She traced a sequin on the purse. “Can you teach me how to seduce you?"
The car went off the road and barely missed a ditch before he righted it, pulled onto the shoulder and flipped the key to shut off the engine.
He gaped at her. "What did you say?"
She looked up at him in the dimly lit interior where moonlight reflected into the car. "I want to seduce you."
"Maybe I have a fever," he murmured.
She smiled. She laughed. He made her feel as if she could do anything. Her whole body felt warm and uninhibited. She leaned back in her seat and moved sinuously in the seat, liking the way the silky fabric felt against her bare breasts. She felt reckless.
His gaze fell to the fabric against which her hard nipples were distinctly outlined. He watched her body move and knew that she was already aroused, which aroused him at once.
He leaned over, his mouth catching hers as his lean hand slipped under the fabric and moved lazily against her taut breasts.
She moaned and arched toward his fingers, pulling them back when he would have removed them. Her mouth opened under his as she gave in to the need to experience him in a new way, in a new intimacy.
"This is dangerous." He bit off the words against her mouth.
"It feels wonderful," she whispered back, pressing his hand to her soft skin. "I want to feel you like this. I want to touch you under your shirt..."
He hadn't realized how quickly he could get a tie and a shirt out of the way. He pulled her across the console and against him, watching her pert breasts bury themselves in the thick hair that covered his chest. He moved her deliberately against it and watched her eyes grow languid and misty as she experienced him.
His mouth opened hers in a sensual kiss that was as explicit as lovemaking. She felt his tongue, his lips, his teeth, and all the while, his chest moved lazily against her bare breasts. His hand went to the base of her spine and moved her upon the raging arousal she'd kindled. He groaned harshly, and she knew that he wouldn't draw back tonight. The strange thing, the wonderful thing, was that she wasn't afraid.
A minute later, he forced his head up and looked at her, lying yielding and breathless against him. He touched her breasts possessively before he lifted his eyes to search hers. "You aren't afraid of me like this," he said huskily.
She drew in a shaking breath. "No. I'm not."
His eyes narrowed as he persisted. "You want me."
She nodded. She touched his lips with fingers that trembled. “I want you very much. I like the way you feel when you want me," she whispered daringly, the surprise of it in her expression as she moved restlessly against him. "It excites me to feel it."
He groaned out loud and closed his eyes. "For God's sake, honey, don't say things like that to me!"
Her fingers moved down to his chest and pressed there. "Why not? I want to know if I can be intimate with you. I have to know," she said hesitantly. "I've never been able to want a man before. And I've never felt anything like this!" She looked up into his open, curious eyes. "Matt, can we...go somewhere?" she whispered.
"And make love?" he asked in a tone that suggested he thought she was unbalanced.
Her expression softened. "Yes."
He couldn't. His brain told him he couldn't. But his stupid body was screaming at him that he certainly could! "Leslie, sweetheart, it's too soon..."
"No, it isn't," she said huskily, tracing the hair on his chest with cool fingers. "I know you don't want anything permanent, and that's okay. But I..."
The matter-of-fact statement surprised him. "What do you mean, I don't want anything permanent?"
"I mean, you aren't a marrying man."
He looked puzzled. He smiled slowly. "Leslie, you're a virgin," he said softly.
"I know that's a drawback, but we all have to start somewhere. You can teach me how," she said stubbornly. "I can learn."
"No!" he said softly. "It's not that at all." His eyes seemed to flicker and then burn like black coals. "Leslie, I don't play around with virgins."
Her mind wasn't getting this at all. She felt dazed by her own desire. "You don't?"
"No, I don't," he said firmly.
"Well, if you'll cooperate, I won't be one for much longer," she pointed out. "So there goes your last argument, Matt." She pressed deliberately closer to him, as aware as he was that his body was amazingly capable.
He actually flushed. He pushed away from her and moved her back into her own seat firmly, pulling up the straps of her dress with hands that fumbled a little. He looked as if she'd hit him in the head with something hard.
Puzzled, she fiddled with her seat belt as he snapped his own into place.
He looked formidably upset. He started the car with subdued violence and put it in gear, his expression hard and stoic.
As the Jaguar shot forward, she slanted a glance at him. It puzzled her that he'd backed away from her. Surely he wasn't insulted by her offer? Or maybe he was.
"Are you offended?" she asked, suddenly self-conscious and embarrassed.
"Heavens, no!" he exclaimed.
"Okay." She let out a relieved sigh. She glanced at him. He wouldn't look at her. "Are you sure you aren't?"
He nodded.
She wrapped her arms around her chest and stared out the windshield at the darkened landscape, trying to decide why he was acting so strangely. He certainly wasn't the man she thought she knew. She'd been certain that he wanted her, too. Now she wasn't.
The Jaguar purred along and they rode in silence. He didn't speak or look at her. He seemed to be deep in thought and she wondered if she'd ruined their budding relationship for good with her wanton tendencies.
It wasn't until he turned the car down a dirt road a few miles from the ranch that she realized he wasn't going toward the Ballengers' home.
"Where are we?" she asked when he turned down an even narrower dirt road that led to a lake. Signposts pointed to various cabins, one of which had Caldwell on it. He pulled into the yard of a little wood cabin in the woods, facing the lake, and cut off the engine.
"This is where I come to get away from business," he told her bluntly. "I've never brought a woman here."
"You haven't?"
His eyes narrowed on her flushed face. "You said you wanted to find out if you could function intimately. All right. We have a place where
we won't be disturbed, and I'm willing. More than willing. So there's no reason to be embarrassed," he said quietly. "I want you every bit as badly as you want me. I have something to use. There won't be any risk. But you have to be sure this is what you really want. Once I take your virginity, I can't give it back. There's only one first time."
She stared at him. Her whole body felt hot at the way he was looking at her. She remembered the feel of his mouth on her breasts and her lips parted hungrily. But it was more than just hunger. He knew it.
She lifted her face to his and brushed a breathless little kiss against his firm chin. "I wouldn't let any other man touch me," she said quietly. "And I think you know it."
"Yes. I know it." He knew something else as well; he knew that it was going to be a beginning, not an affair or a one-night stand. He was going to be her first man, but she was going to be his last woman. She was all he wanted in the world.
He got out and led her up the steps on to the wide porch where there was a swing and three rocking chairs. He unlocked the door, ushered her inside and locked it again. Taking her hand in his, he led her to the bedroom in back. There was a huge king-size bed in the room. It was covered by a thick comforter in shades of beige and red.
For the first time since she'd been so brazen with him, reality hit her like a cold cloth. She stood just inside the doorway, her eyes riveted on that bed, as erotic pictures of Matt without clothing danced in her thoughts.
He turned to her, backing her up against the closed door. He sensed her nervousness, her sudden uncertainty.
“Are you afraid?" he asked somberly.
"I'm sorry, I guess I am," she said with a forced smile.
His lean hands framed her face and he bent and kissed her eyelids. "This may be your first time. It isn't mine. By the time we end up on that bed, you'll be ready for me, and fear is the very last thing you're going to feel."
He bent to her mouth then and began to kiss her. The caresses were tender and slow, not arousing. If anything, they comforted. She felt her fear of him, of the unknown, melt away like ice in the hot sun. After a few seconds, she relaxed and gave in to his gentle ardor.
At first it was just pleasant. Then she felt him move closer and his body reacted at once to hers.
He caught his breath as he felt the sudden surge of pleasure.
Her hands smoothed up his hard thighs, savoring the muscular warmth of them while his mouth captured hers and took possession of it a little roughly, because she was intensifying the desire that was already consuming him.
His body began to move on her, slow and caressing, arousing and tantalizing. Her breasts felt heavy.
Her nipples were taut, and the friction of the silky cloth against them intensified the sensations he was kindling in her body, the desire she was already feeling.
His knee edged between both her legs in the silky dress and the slow movement of his hips made her body clench.
His hands went between them, working deftly on the tiny straps of her dress while he kissed her. It wasn't until she felt the rough hair of his chest against her bare breasts that she realized both of them were uncovered from the waist up.
He drew away a little and looked down at her firm, pretty little breasts while he traced them with his fingers.
"I'd like to keep you under lock and key," he murmured gruffly. "My own pretty little treasure," he added as his head bent.
She watched his mouth take her, felt the pleasure of warm lips on her body. She liked the sight of his mouth over her nipple, that dark, wavy hair falling unruly onto his broad forehead while his heavy eyebrows met and his eyes closed under the delicious whip of passion. She held his head to her body, smoothing the hair at his nape, feeling it cool and clean under her fingers.
When he finally lifted his head, she was leaning back against the door for support. Her eyes were misty with desire, her body trembled faintly with the force of it. She looked at him hungrily, with all the barriers down at last. Other men might repulse her, but she wanted Matt. She loved the feel of his hands and his eyes and his mouth on her body. She wanted to lie under him and feel the delicious pressure of his body against and over and inside her own. She wanted it so badly that she moaned softly.
"No second thoughts?" he asked gently.
"Oh, no! No second thoughts, Matt," she whispered, adoring him with her eyes.
With a slow, secret smile, he began to divest her of the dress and the remaining piece of clothing, leaving her standing before him with her body unveiled, taut with passion.
She was shy, but his hands soon made a jumble of her embarrassment. She felt her body jerk rhythmically as he suckled her breasts. It was so sweet. It was paradise.
When he eased her down onto the huge bed, she lay back against the pillows, totally yielding, and watched his evening clothes come off little by little. He watched her while he undressed, laughing softly, a sensual predatory note in his deep voice. She moved helplessly on the coverlet, her entire being aflame with sensations she'd never known. She could barely wait. She felt as if she was throbbing all over, burning with some unknown fire that threatened to consume her, an ache that was almost painful.
Her eyes widened when the last piece of fabric came away from his powerful body and her breath caught.
He liked that expression. He turned away just for a minute, long enough to extricate a packet from his wallet. He sat down beside her, opened it, and taught her matter-of-factly what to do with it. She fumbled a little, her eyes incredibly wide and fascinated and a little frightened.
"I won't hurt you," he said gently, searching her eyes. "Women have been doing this for hundreds of thousands of years. You're going to like it, Leslie. I promise you are."
She lay back, watching him with wide gray eyes full of curiosity as he slid alongside her.
His dark head bent to her body and she lay under him like a creamy, blushing sacrifice, learning the different ways she responded to his touch. He laughed when she arched up and moaned. He liked the way she opened to him, the way her breath rasped when his mouth slid tenderly over her belly and the soft, inner skin of her thighs. He made a sensual meal of her there on the pretty, soft comforter, while the sound of rain came closer outside the window, the moonlit night clouding over as a storm moved above the cabin.
She hadn't known that physical pleasure could be so devastating. She watched him touch and taste her, with eyes equally fascinated and aroused by some of the things he did to her.
Her shocked exclamation pulled an amused laugh from him. "Am I shocking you? Don't you read books and watch movies?" he asked as he poised just above her.
"It isn't...the same," she choked, arching as his body began to tease hers, her long legs shifting eagerly out of his way as he moved down against her.
Her hands were clenched beside her head, and he watched her eyes dilate as his hips shifted tenderly and she felt him against her in a shattering new intimacy. She gasped, looking straight into his dark eyes. "I... never dreamed...!"
"No words on earth could describe how this feels," he murmured, his breath rasping as he hesitated and then moved down again, tenderly. "You're beautiful, Leslie. Your body is exquisite, soft and warm and enticing. I love the way your skin feels under my mouth." His breath caught as he moved closer and felt her body protest at the invasion. He paused to search over her flushed, drawn face. "I'm becoming your lover," he whispered huskily, drawing his body against hers sensuously to deepen his possession. "I'm going inside you. Now."
His face became rigid with control, solemn as he met her eyes and pushed again, harder, and watched her flinch. "I know. It's going to hurt a little, in spite of everything," he said softly. "But not for long. Do you still want me?"
"More than any thing... in the world!" she choked, lifting her hips toward his in a sensual invitation. "It's all right." She swallowed. Impulsively she looked down and her mouth fell open. She couldn't have imagined watching, even a day before. "Matt...!" she gasp
ed.
Her eyes came back up to his. His face looked as if every muscle in it was clenched. “It feels like my first time, too," he said a little roughly. His hands slid under her head, cradling it as he shifted slightly and then pushed once more.
Her pretty body lifted off the bed. It seemed to ripple as he moved intimately into closer contact. “I never thought...we could talk...while we did something so intimate," she whispered back, gasping when he moved again and pleasure shot through her. "Yes...oh, yes, please do...that!" she pleaded huskily, clutching at his shoulders.
"Here, like this?" he asked urgently, and moved again.
Her tiny cry was affirmation enough. He eased down on her, his eyes looking straight into hers as he began a rhythm that combined tension with exquisite pleasure and fleeting, burning pain.
His eyes dilated as he felt the barrier. He shivered. His body clenched. He'd never had an innocent woman. Leslie was totally out of his experience. He hadn't thought about how it would feel until now. Primitive thoughts claimed his mind, ancestral memories perhaps that spoke of an ancient age when this would have been a rite of passage.
She was feeling something very similar as her body yielded to the domination of his. The discomfort paled beside the feelings that were consuming her. Glimpses of unbelievable pleasure were mingling with the stinging pain. Past it, she knew, lay ecstasy.
He kissed her hungrily as his lean, fit body moved on her in the silence of the cabin. Suddenly rain pounded hard outside the curtained window, slamming into the roof, the ground, the trees. The wind howled around the corner. There was a storm in him, too, as he lay stretched tight with desire, trying to hold back long enough to let Leslie share what he knew he would feel.
"I've never been so hungry," he bit off against her mouth. His hands contracted under her head, tangling in her hair. His body shuddered. "I'm going to have to hurt you. I can't wait any longer. It's getting away from me. I have to have you...now!"
Her legs moved sensuously against his, loving the faint abrasion of the hair that covered his. "Yes!" she said huskily, her eyes full of wonder. “I want it. I want...it with you."
Books By Diana Palmer Page 242