Sorrow's Flight

by Helen Allan

  Sorrow snorted and shook her head.

  “Sure Judge, you jump back and do that, because you sure as shit have shown how much you care about this planet and everyone on it.”

  “You don’t believe me,” he said quietly.

  “Does it matter? You will be just one more man in red to kill. Unless of course you are planning on running right back here and joining us.”

  “No,” he shook his head, “I will not return.”

  “I thought not,” Sorrow rose and holstered her guns, heading for the door. She felt betrayed, but more than that, stupid. Her lust for this man had blinded her to what he really was – just like her love for Anhur had blinded her. “We are done here. You will be returned to the cells to complete your recovery.”

  “I won’t return to this planet, Sorrow, because I can do more harm to the Gharials from the inside. I will work to undermine them, to share my knowledge of the other worlds with other red leaders, and perhaps I can disable the outworld gateway. That is my plan.”

  Sorrow paused.

  “Are you telling me you would undermine something you have believed in your whole life? That you would no longer support the army that raised you?”

  “How could I?” he groaned. “We were taught that all races were inferior to us, that all others were stupid, filthy creatures. We were shown no affection; feelings were not something we were taught or understood, physical or emotional. Knowing you taught me that all this was wrong. I feel now, Sorrow.”

  She breathed out, closed her eyes for a second. This was the most he had ever said to her at one time. It had obviously cost him a great deal to reveal himself like this, to expose his ignorance and his newfound discovery of feelings.

  “Judge,” she said quietly, after considering his words in silence for some minutes. “You betrayed me.”

  “Not intentionally.”

  “You lied to me, letting me think you were Earthborn.”

  “Yes.”

  “I, we…” she didn’t go on, thoughts of that last afternoon they had spent together came flooding back, of his body beneath hers. Her face flushed at the memory.

  “You changed my world, Sorrow. You…

  She cut him off. “I wish you well on your return trip, Judge. But I hope you and I never meet again.”

  She turned to stalk from the room, but he shouted, his deep voice stalling her.

  “I want you to come back to my planet with me.”

  She spun, incredulous and stared at him.

  “You what?”

  14

  Returning from Judge’s sickbed Sorrow revealed what she had learned about his background, leaving out their discussion about her returning with him to force the closure of the Gharial gate from their homeworld. This plan was still in its infancy, and she didn’t want to worry anyone with it yet.

  Etienne was already overly concerned that she had put the pretend Earthborn in the Chosen infirmary downstairs, rather than having him returned to prison.

  “He is a traitor; he cannot be trusted.”

  “I’m starting to think nobody can, Etienne,” she sighed, casting a quick look at Raphael, “cept thee and me.”

  “Sorrow that is not true,” Raphael said, his eyes flashing hurt.

  “Am I missing something?” Etienne looked from Raphael to Sorrow and back.

  “He wanted to let you die,” Sorrow said, narrowing her eyes at Raphael.

  “No, well, I’m sorry Etienne, I told her what I still believe; giving the cure to the Gods is not a wise decision. I wanted to go to my government first.”

  “While you languished and died,” Sorrow added to Etienne.

  “Ah, ma mie, I have to admit, if I were in his shoes,” Etienne shook his head, “I would most likely have done the same.”

  Sorrow snorted.

  “You can’t stay angry with me forever,” Raphael laughed, “because it is a moot point. There are no Gods left.”

  “If that is really true,” Gabrielle piped up from where she lay next to Etienne, “who is flying the pods?”

  “I am, a dark voice said from the laboratory.”

  All eyes turned to the doorway. Raphael and Gabriel inhaled sharply as the eavesdropper walked out.

  “How long have you been there?” Sorrow demanded.

  “Long enough,” Lokan said, striding towards where they all stood around Etienne.

  “Are you telling me,” Raphael said, “that all these years, centuries even, you and you alone have flown these pods?”

  “Automatic pilot,” Lokan said, ignoring Raphael and stepping close to where Sorrow stood. “Once your friends are healed you can prepare for your travels,” he said quietly, focussing on her as though she were the only one in the room.

  “What?”

  “Your return to your father,” he said, smiling, “you have done as he has bid, now he will fulfil his promise.”

  Sorrow breathed in deep through her nose and ground her teeth.

  “My father?”

  “Amun.”

  “How do you know Amun is my father?”

  “Is this a game to you?” he suddenly growled, “for I assure you it is not to me. I recognised you the moment I saw you, your face is his face.”

  “It sure as hell is not,” Sorrow spat back.

  “Come,” he suddenly beamed, holding his hands out in supplication, “I did not wish to anger you. You of all people.”

  “Lokan, you may need to explain yourself,” Etienne said, seeing Sorrow’s confused expression and sitting up, wincing at the pain in his stomach, “She has no idea what you mean.”

  “Surely you do not expect me to believe that?” Lokan smiled, walking to where Sorrow stood and placing his hands on her shoulders.

  “Tell your father I never failed in my trust and faith in his word.”

  “And what do you expect him to do now?” Sorrow said gently, playing along for information and looking Lokan in the eye, “now that my quest is fulfilled.”

  “Turn back time, of course,” Lokan said, squeezing her shoulders harder than he needed to. “He promised, he would find a cure and travel back in time to give it to us. In essence, no God will ever have died here; we will own this planet completely. We all knew this, even as my friends and lovers lay in the regeneration tanks, the disease killing them, we knew it was all temporary. Amun promised us he would gain the scarab time travel devices and make everything right.”

  “He did gain the devices,” Sorrow said quietly, “but he won’t be returning here to reverse time.”

  “And why not?” he said, his fingers digging into her shoulder blades.

  “Because,” she reached up and gripped his hands, pulling them off her shoulders and pushing them firmly to his sides, “the portals don’t work like that. Time can’t be changed through them, they are unstable, they flip time themselves occasionally, but the scarabs can’t be used in them.”

  “How do you know this?”

  She took a deep breath. “Because he no longer has control of the time travel devices, humans do, and, also, he’s dead. I killed him myself.”

  Lokan stood, his eyes wide, his hands hanging loosely by his sides, and stared.

  “Is this some kind of joke?”

  “No joke,” Etienne said, nodding in approval to Raphael who had drawn his weapon and levelled it at Lokan’s back.

  “Then, my wait has been for nought?” he sounded lost, incredulous, broken.

  “How don’t you know this?” Sorrow whispered, “aren’t you in contact with the other planets via the pod intercoms?”

  “It is forbidden,” Lokan whispered, “Amun did not wish to spread fear to those still to settle other planets, or those who had relatives here. He said it would all be reversed in time. In the intervening years, no one was to leave the planet, in case the miasma spread, and no word was to leave the planet of our trials.”

  “But that was thousands of years ago. Others came here over the years,” Gabriel cut in, “our histories say
the Gods came in several waves.”

  “Yes,” Lokan muttered, not looking at Gabriel, but answering to Sorrow, “many fled other planets to settle here. But none left. All succumbed.”

  He turned to leave.

  “Wait,” Raphael said, “come with me to my government, your pods can be useful to us to stop the Gharial when the portals open, you can help us.”

  “Take them,” Lokan said bitterly, “take it all.”

  Raphael moved to block him as he turned to go, but Sorrow shook her head as the God’s tears began to fall.

  “Put your weapon away Raphael,” she said quietly, “let him go.”

  Sorrow relaxed in Raphael’s arms as they flew back to Gabriel’s apartment.

  The meeting with his government had gone well; they were all in agreement, despite the undercurrent of tension with the Angels. The earlier meeting with the Chosen priests though, had not progressed as hoped.

  “You are quiet,” Raphael said as he flapped lazily over the treetops.

  Sorrow nodded.

  “I just wish there was a way we could change the minds of the Chosen, but they are determined, if the Winged Ones move into the city, they will leave. They won’t budge an inch about keeping their feathers or their winged children – they just don’t seem to understand compromise, they are so entrenched in their beliefs. I wonder how they will survive if they leave the town? Where will they go?”

  “I can’t believe Lokan won’t step in to change their minds,” Raphael muttered, “after all this time more than a few of them must be his descendants.”

  Sorrow nodded, chewing her lip, but suddenly screeched. “That’s it. Raphael, oh, God, Calarnise.”

  “What? Fuck, don’t scream like that while I’m flying, I thought something was wrong; we nearly fell from the sky.”

  Sorrow choked on a laugh, horrified by what she had just figured out, but at the same time relieved she might have found a solution to the problem that had been keeping her awake at night.

  “I thought you wanted to hear me scream?”

  “Of course,” he chuckled, “but I have put that ambition into the too-hard-basket since our rooftop fight over the cure.”

  “I’ve forgiven you, Raphael,” Sorrow said gently, “you had the best interests of your planet at heart, and you also had the best interests of two races at heart, including your own. I was only thinking of my friend.”

  “But you were right Sorrow, none of us is expendable,” he murmured into her ear, “I was too quick to decide the fate or your friend. I should have taken the time to look at all the options.”

  “Well, we can agree to set that aside now, in light of all that has happened, yes?”

  “Does this mean I will get to hear you scream?”

  “Never say never,” Sorrow laughed, “but right now, I have some horrible news to deliver to Etienne, who will then have to break it to someone he cares about.”

  “Care to share?”

  “Let’s wait. I’ll tell everyone at once.”

  They landed and walked, hand in hand, down to Gabriel’s apartment.

  Sorrow was not at all surprised to see her sitting on Etienne’s knee on the sofa, talking softly and laughing. She knew Etienne played the field, it was raison d’etre for him, but she also knew he cared for Calarnise.

  “Ah, ma cherie,” he said as they entered the room, “how did the meeting go?”

  “Great,” Sorrow said, flopping down onto the sofa near them and nodding yes to Raphael’s suggestion of a drink. “They have agreed the Wingless army can settle the White City and prepare defences for the opening of the portals. We know that if the Gharials come, they won’t have airborne forces because Judge confirmed what I had suspected, they can’t fly them through the portals, they are too large. He says they don’t have any smaller craft, although some were being trialled when he left, they are a few years away from commission. So, a conventional ground assault is likely planned, although, again, if his plan to avert an invasion works….” once again she chose not to reveal her agreement to go with Judge, “also, the government has asked me to train 30 pilots to fly the pods, so we will have air support in the event of a full-scale Gharial invasion. Lokan said we could have them, so the Winged squadron will fly back with me tomorrow and commence training straight away. I’m personally excited to get inside one of the pods and phone home, I know Mum must be worried sick.”

  Etienne nodded, Sorrow knew he was keen to update the Immoral Chortles on all they had discovered about the Gharials and hear of any news about Seth. She knew he was also hoping she would confirm that they would jump back together to Earth when the portals opened. She felt guilty that she was keeping secrets from him. She wasn’t looking forward to his response when he found out the truth.

  “And the Angels?” Gabrielle asked, drawing Sorrow’s attention back to the discussion.

  “They want nothing to do with any resettlement of the plains,” Raphael said quietly, returning with drinks for everyone on a tray, “they are celebrating the news that the Gods are dead with a two-week festival of gratitude, but they are fervently opposed to giving any cure to the Chosen. They want them all to die. As an aside although obviously unspoken, they wouldn’t mind if we all dropped dead too.”

  “But that is unlikely, is it not?” Etienne asked.

  “We can’t die of the miasma,” Gabrielle said, sipping her drink, “and unlike the Chosen, we have no problem with reproduction. In general, unless the Angels declared open war upon us, there is a fair chance we will stick around.”

  “But the Chosen,” Raphael shook his head, “by refusing to cohabit with us, or change their ways. By continuing to destroy their feathers and the trees they are signing themselves a slow death warrant, they will continue to dwindle. I think, also, knowing the Gods are gone, the Angels might begin to escalate long-held plans of killing them outright. Perhaps, I hope I’m wrong, but I wouldn’t be surprised if war was declared between our species too, after they eliminate the Chosen.”

  “Unless,” Sorrow said, carefully placing her drink back on the tray, “the Chosen receive a message from God – a message telling them to live with the Winged, to accept their feathers and their native heritage, to change.”

  “Ha,” Etienne snorted, “it is unlikely Lokan will help the Chosen, he hasn’t been seen since you told him you killed Amun. I wouldn’t be surprised if he planned on jumping through a portal himself.”

  “No,” Sorrow said, “I think he will help the Chosen, I think he has more reasons than most to ensure the survival of this species. Raphael hit the nail on the head earlier.”

  “What reason?” Gabriel and Etienne asked together.

  “Because hundreds of them are his descendants – and every acolyte born is his daughter,” she said quietly, giving Etienne a meaning look.

  15

  “Sorrow? Oh, sweetheart thank fuck, thank fuck,” Megan moaned as she saw her daughter.

  Tears rolled down her cheeks as she pressed her hands to the screen, and Sorrow raised hers to meet them. She felt as guilty as hell that her mother had been so worried, and so homesick she felt faint.

  “Mum, it’s ok, I’m ok, I’m sorry I made you worry. I’m sorry I didn’t jump home, I was hurt, and Etienne and I just jumped through the nearest portal.”

  “Actually, I jumped,” Etienne snorted, “carrying Sorrow. But I doubt whether she would have come home anyway.”

  “Traitor,” Sorrow whispered, elbowing him in the side.

  “Ouch, mon Dieu, you see how she treats me,” he smiled to Megan, trying to lighten the mood, “nothing has changed, I swear, she is as fit as a fiddle.”

  Megan, taking big gulps of air and trying to calm herself down, nodded her agreement and blew her nose on her shirt. Sorrow noticed she was armed to the teeth and wearing her fighting leathers.

  “Mum? Is everything alright where you are? Are you in trouble? Is it Seth?”

  “Where are you Sorrow? Can you get home now, please?�
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  “We are on a planet called Avalona,” Sorrow said gently, “and yes and no as to coming home. Mum I’ve got the chance to take the fight to Seth, and I’m going to do it.”

  She ignored Etienne’s sharp curse.

  “Then, hang on,” Megan smiled as arms snaked around her waist and Ceda’s head appeared over her shoulder, looking into the screen, “we are coming with you.”

  “No,” Sorrow shook her head, “I’ve got a guide, Mum, a friend who once worked for Shu and Tefnut, headed one of their squadrons; he knows the planet the Gharial are coming from inside out. He also knows a great deal about Seth’s use of the twins’ armies. He knows the planets they are coming from, and he knows the Gharial planet like the back of his hand. He thinks we can blow the Gharial gates so they can’t get out to continue their invasion of other planets.”

  “What? This is the first I have heard of this crazy plan,” Etienne growled, turning to frown at Sorrow. “Judge? You are going with Judge? And how exactly will you get out if you blow their gates?”

  “Well, we are working on that.”

  Megan and Ceda shared a worried look.

  “I agree with Etienne, Sorrow,” Megan said, her tears now dry and her voice level, “that is not a smart plan. And how do you know you can trust this former Seth collaborator?”

  “I can, Mum.”

  “She’s sleeping with him,” Etienne said dryly.

  “Oh Sorrow,” Megan smiled, “that’s wonderful news. Are you in love? Is he there?”

  “No, and No,” Sorrow said red-faced, “it’s not like that, Mum.”

  “Never mind,” Megan said quickly, “we’ll talk about it later.”

  Sorrow groaned. “Mum, we have more important things to talk about.”

  “Yes, we certainly do,” Clara said from behind Megan.

  “Hello Clara,” Sorrow smiled, genuinely pleased to hear the woman’s voice, “can you lend a little sanity to this conversation?”

  “No,” she said dryly, “but I’m thankful you called when you did. Your mother and Ceda were preparing for the portal opening next month so they could jump through an unknown portal on a planet safari looking for you.”