‘It’s a great pity that it has gone wrong again. I thought tonight …’
‘It was better than last Monday anyway.’
‘Don’t let’s discuss it. Things will come right in due course. That’s if one wants to go on with them … Clearly it’s a matter for some doubt.’
He stirred petulantly, angry with everything, hands trembling, wanting to get up and stalk away, his mind seeking an excuse to blame her, his self-esteem deeply hurt.
There was a long silence.
‘Tell me about Anna.’
‘This bed is too soft, Pearl. It is a modern mattress in spite of the Hepplewhite frame but—’
‘It doesn’t seem too soft to me—’
‘Well, when you are alone! Naturally. With us both it gives too much, makes things more difficult. It stands to reason! I thought you would see that. Anybody could see that!’
‘Tell me about Anna.’
‘I have always been a big man,’ he said. ‘It’s strong, healthy flesh. I am tall and have a big frame, that’s where a lot of the weight comes in. Nothing flabby. Only a few months ago, Dr Matthewson, who’s one of London’s leading physicians, said I was exceptionally fit and well.’
‘It isn’t really any advantage to be heavy, Wilfred. And I think one looks younger.’
‘I don’t look old. I don’t feel old. God knows in one’s middle forties!’
‘Of course not.’
‘Naturally my body hasn’t got your youth. But I don’t feel old, even now, after tonight.’
‘Why should you? Was she killed in an aeroplane accident?’
‘Who, Anna? No. Whatever makes you think that?’
‘I thought perhaps you seemed over-anxious in the plane when we met.’
‘I wasn’t at all over-anxious! One is often diverted to a different airport when flying. It’s a natural hazard that the experienced traveller learns to expect!’
After this Pearl relapsed into silence. He lay there, quietly hating her for being the object of his humiliation. What an unintelligent common creature she was, with no sensitivity or finesse. She just lay there making small talk as if unaware of his anger. His marriage to her had been a desperate mistake – what he should have expected! And this act in which they had partly participated, how exhausting and common and unhealthy. Alley cats. Women set such store by it, pretended it was romantic and beautiful. Utter nonsense. It degraded the human spirit, and women knew it did. The aesthetic and the beautiful were not to be found in carnal things. Man’s mind only could appreciate them, man’s mind only was big enough, so women clung and clutched at him, trying to bring him down to their level. And he, Wilfred Angell, after so many years of triumphant isolation, had allowed himself to be caught. The tender trap! It was a rat trap!
This was the moment, he knew, the exact moment to end it all. Not of course the marriage but this horrible and degrading exercise which left him so spent and useless; with some care one could return to the relatively happy status quo, to the unambiguous days before last Monday.
Yet he made no move. He lay there as silently as she. Because, undermining his judgment, filtering through his determination like enemy troops moving into new positions, were feelings that he did not have to entertain before: concern that he should not offend her too deeply, and foreknowledge that his disgust would not last, a premonition as it were of future lust.
A car hooted outside and a door slammed. To Pearl it made a noise uncomfortably like the clump of the Jensen door, which she remembered so well.
She said: ‘You’ve never told me about your parents. Have they been dead a long time?’
He shifted his bulk. ‘My mother was forty-two when I was born – ten years older than my father. Yes, they have both been dead a long time … She was – she had been the headmistress of a girl’s school before she married. You must realize that she was twenty-three when Queen Victoria died. All her childhood and adolescence were Victorian. It is no doubt hard for you to realize how close all this is in terms of the generations … She naturally had a strong influence in my early life. Her somewhat primitive beliefs … Even today it is difficult at times for me to escape from the consequences of her philosophy – the absolute relationship between sin and retribution, for instance, similar to that between crime and punishment. The Lord thy God is a jealous God. Very hard. D’you know. Very hard.’
The people were shouting and laughing outside, then the car accelerated away and the voices left behind subsided to a murmur. Pearl lay still. Fortunately she could not read his thoughts. Without conscious decision, she felt that it was a good thing to encourage him to talk at this time. The second fiasco had left him in the grip of some strong emotion, and he was a man to whom emotion came rarely.
‘Do you like jewellery?’ he said suddenly.
She could hardly believe her ears. ‘Who? Me? … Yes, I love it.’
‘There’s some coming up at Sotheby’s when they reopen,’ he said, still tartly, almost in annoyance. ‘Not too expensive, I should think. I’ve never collected jewellery.’
‘D’you mean for me, Wilfred?’
‘Well … not exactly. In a sense. You could wear it. It would be insured.’
‘That’d be super. What sort of jewellery is it?’ She sat up. ‘Brooches? Ear-rings?’
‘Oh, various kinds. Mind you, I’m not a rich man. I owe a lot of money.’
‘Do you? I didn’t know.’
‘To dealers, to auctioneers. I buy things on hire-purchase, so to speak. I’m still paying for the Bonnard I bought three years ago. And the Sisley in my bedroom.’
‘I’m very fond of emeralds,’ Pearl said after a minute.
He said: ‘ The setting of a jewel is often more important than the jewel itself. To the connoisseurs, that is …’
‘But that would be lovely, Wilfred.’
He sat up and leaned back against the head of the bed, rubbed a thick thumb over his forehead, pushing back his hair. ‘Jewels. I think of Anna who had some good ones … She lived in one of those handsome houses overlooking Regent’s Park. She had inherited the things from her mother. Her father was a widower, and a housekeeper looked after them. More frequently Anna looked after the housekeeper who drank too much but was an old retainer – they would not discharge her. One night when her father was away and we knew the housekeeper would be in her room and entirely unconscious until morning we made plans to meet – I made plans to come to the house. With, of course, the obvious purpose in mind. We were not so innocent then, you see. Some people talk and write as if the sexual act were discovered about 1960. But … after a few minutes, when – how can I put it delicately? – when this would soon have happened, she was taken with acute pain. Acute pain. I tiptoed down to the dining room and got her brandy. The attack did not go away. I stayed on, and wanted to ring for the doctor. She said she could not have him while I was there. But I could hardly leave her like that. In the end the pain went, but by then she was too exhausted for love. She was anxious for me to go. She said she would ring the doctor as soon as I was gone. So I went … Incredible though it may seem, I saw her again only four times after that.’
‘What was wrong?’
‘It was the dread disease – inoperable at that age! One can hardly believe. She was only twenty.’
‘Oh dear, I am sorry. How awful for you. I never thought.’
‘No matter.’ Wilfred tasted the luxury of being comforted. It took some of the bitterness of tonight away.
After a while Pearl said: ‘ Why do you say it’s of no importance to you now?’
‘Because it’s all buried – long buried with her, and best forgotten … It was of importance to me at the time, naturally. But it has long since ceased to be important.’
Presently he sighed and moved to get up. ‘About the jewellery sale,’ Pearl said.
‘Oh … perhaps. I will glance at the catalogue again. Probably it is all too expensive. I am in no position to be extravagant.’
‘Those
two paintings in the bathroom, those you said you’d got tired of, by that Russian who lived in Paris. Why not sell them?’
‘I couldn’t do that. I wouldn’t get my money back.’
‘But you’d get something?’
‘Oh, yes. Four or five hundred pounds for the two perhaps.’
‘Well, then.’
Wilfred considered the matter in the dark. ‘No, no. I’m only temporarily tired of them.’
Pearl said: ‘Why did you see Anna only four times more?’
‘Oh, it’s all past and done with! I don’t want to talk about it any longer!’
Godfrey next called on a Tuesday when Wilfred was at bridge.
She half shut the door on him, but somehow he managed to slip in and stand in the hall, hat in hand, apologetic and impudent at the same time.
He said: ‘I’ve only come to see Mr Angell. Honest. I got a message. I’ll not touch you. When’ve I touched you except that once?’
She found herself less afraid of him than hitherto. His uniform brought him down, hiding his physical arrogance. Wilfred’s legal bonds surrounded her too. And within these defences she was growing up, maturing, becoming more confident.
She said: ‘If you’ve a message you’d better take it to Mr Angell at his club.’
‘If he’s expected home soon maybe I could wait.’
‘He’s not expected home soon. It’s one of his bridge nights.’
‘So he’s playing bridge … He’d thank me for bursting in in the middle of his bridge. Lady V would, I know. Maybe I could just write him a note.’
She hesitated. ‘I asked my husband to tell you not to call here again. He’ll be very annoyed if he knows you’ve been bothering me.’
‘Bothering you? Oh, there, Oyster, that’s an untruth if ever there was one. How am I bothering you, just nipping round with this message?’
‘And stop looking at me like that.’
‘Now I can’t even look. O.K., I’ll put my hand over my eyes. O. K.? That please you?’
‘D’you want to leave a message, or d’you want to go?’
‘I’ll go. I’ll be back in an hour maybe.’
‘No, don’t come back.’
‘Well, it’s important.’
‘Then leave a message.’
Godfrey thought, and removed his eyeshade. ‘Have you got a piece of paper, Pearl?’
She rummaged in a drawer in the hall and found a pad, switched on the table lamp there.
He looked round. ‘And a pencil?’
She found a ball-point and put it on the table beside him. His hand gently touched hers before she pulled it sharply away.
He said: ‘Don’t be afraid of the dark.’
She said nothing while he pulled up a chair and began to write. Writing did not come easy, or he purposely delayed. She watched his strong short fingers, clumsy in their present work.
She said: ‘Haven’t you done?’
‘Not quite. I ought to come back. That’d be best.’
She said: ‘Finish your message, please, and go!’
He put the pen between his teeth and tapped it up and down, did not look at her. ‘How d’you spell love? Is it with an o or a u?’
‘Love! You don’t know what love means!’
‘Let me show you. I’d be different this time.’
‘This is really what you came for, isn’t it; this calling with messages is only an excuse you’ve worked up!’
He shrugged. ‘Still can’t see you settling down as an old man’s plaything. It works on me. Gets on my nerves to think of it.’
‘Do I have to tell you again that I don’t want anything to do with you?’
He looked at her then with all the fullness of his eyes. ‘Someday I’ll believe you – maybe.’
‘Believe me now. It’s the truth. For Heaven’s sake. What can I say to convince you?’
‘It isn’t always what people say that matters.’
She sighed, heavily, angrily. ‘Listen. Listen, Godfrey. Just try to understand. All the early part of this year you made my life a misery. Then when I got married I thought I was rid of you. But now you’re back again. I never know when the bell rings … Of course I could complain and we could get the police but I don’t wish you any harm. I’ve tried to forget all that – that misunderstanding at Keston. It’s not important any more. But I’m in a new life now, and I don’t want you around.’
He did not answer, being apparently busy folding the message he had written. She wondered if she was getting through to him at all.
She said suddenly: ‘Look, I’ve got money. Would you promise to stay away from me if I gave you some money?’
He tapped his teeth, picked at his bottom lip. ‘How much?’
‘A hundred pounds?’
‘My! More’n I get for a fight. Am I worth that to you?’
‘It’s worth that to have you out of my way.’
He shook his head. ‘Can’t take money from a woman. Never have. Can’t start now.’
‘What about Lady Vosper?’
His eyes showed he didn’t like the suggestion. ‘ She’s different. She gets value for money.’
‘All right then! I’ve done all I can.’ She moved to the telephone. ‘You’re set on your own way. So get out! And I’ll see Wilfred never lets you come here again!’
‘Don’t get so angry! I don’t see why you get so angry. Honest! I mean you no hurt. Look, I got an idea. I’ll not take your money, because it won’t help. But your – Mr Angell, he knows everybody, don’t he. A lawyer and a public man. Gets around everywhere. Get him to get me a new manager. I got a bad one now. He’s strictly a layabout. I got to have a new manager to get the fights!’
Pearl stared at him. ‘ What d’you mean?’
‘What I just said.’
‘You – want a new manager to arrange your fights?’
‘Look, kid, every boxer has to have a manager. Right? But not anyone’ll do. He’s got to have a manager who’s in with the matchmakers, the big-time promoters. That’s what I need. If you’re in Jude Davis’s stable, or even Cohen’s, you can get a fight maybe once a month just because your manager’s in with the people that run the halls. This Robins has been managing me for a year, and it’s been a complete fold. I want someone with know-how, someone like Jude Davis or Mel Anderson. Not the third raters. I’m too good for the third raters. You seen me fight, you ought to know that!’
Pearl fiddled with a piece of ribbon on the sleeve of her frock. For the first time he was talking out of his heart and not because he wanted to climb onto her.
‘D’you mean you think my husband could arrange … But he’s a lawyer – not in the boxing world.’
‘People like him can do a lot if they try.’
‘Why doesn’t Lady Vosper – can’t she help you?’
‘Maybe she could, but if she could she won’t. Frightened of losing me, see.’ He grinned, and the predatory twinkle that had been submerged returned to his eyes.
‘Frightened of losing me,’ said Godfrey. ‘Not like you, wanting to lose me.’
‘And should I?’
‘Lose me? Yes. I’m nuts about you, maybe always will be; but give me a chance in the big time and I’ll soon grow out of it. I want to go places, get on. Maybe you haven’t noticed.’
‘I know your promises.’
‘Listen, Oyster. I got one ambition in life and that’s to be feather-weight champion. If I could be that I’d step on anyone’s face to give myself a step up. So I’m not going to bother about a bit of tail if doing without it helps. You arrange with your old man; then I drop out of your life complete. Get him to get me in with Jude Davis so I can go places—’
‘I wouldn’t think he could help at all—’
‘Look. Make a note. Jude Davis. He’s the man I want to manage me. Write it down. He’s interested already. He’s more or less promised to take me on in a year. But I can’t wait that long. I’m twenty-three. I only got five more years at the outside to g
et where I want to get. You grow old early in my business. So it’s now or never like. Jude Davis is the man who’s interested. Write it down.’
‘I tell you, I’ve no idea—’
‘Well, try. Real reason Davis won’t take me now is he’d have to buy me off Robins. It wouldn’t be much – maybe the hundred you said you’d give. But he thinks he’ll wait and save the money and see how I get on. He only needs a push from someone up top and I’m in. Your Mr Angell could fix it.’
‘I’ll think about it.’
‘I’ll call next Tuesday, while he’s out again. About this time. I’ll nip round, see what he says, eh?’
‘All right.’
Godfrey put his note for Angell in an envelope and sealed it. ‘You could say you found this pushed under the door, if you like.’
‘Why should I?’
Godfrey shrugged. ‘Please yourself then. Only he told me not to call Tuesdays.’
‘So you did come – deliberately.’
‘Yeh. Can’t keep away. But do me this favour and I’ll do you one. Fix me this and you’ll never need to get hot at me again.’
Chapter Eleven
Francis Hone said: ‘Well, it’s very frustrating, this further delay. Did he give you no idea of the time he’d be when you approached him?’
‘He thought a couple of weeks,’ Angell said, rubbing the crumbs together between finger and thumb. ‘But he’s appearing for Surrey County Council against West & Cassell, and the case keeps dragging on. I rang his clerk again yesterday but there’s no immediate prospect of its ending.’
‘Penalty of popularity,’ said Simon Portugal.
‘Yes, well, exactly. In law this is particularly true. I wanted Montagu because he is the best man. But because he’s the best man everyone wants him.’
‘There must be others,’ said Hone.
‘Oh, there are others – half a dozen nearly as good. But they are not without briefs themselves, and I hesitate to swop horses in midstream.’
‘What has your man to report?’ Hone said to Portugal.
‘I gave Wilfred the details yesterday.’
Angell shook his head at the waiter who was about to help him to potatoes. ‘It’s all perfectly straight-forward so far as it goes. The tenancies are varied as to type and tenure, but there’s nothing we haven’t tackled before. There are two rights of way that are indisputable, but these can very simply be developed as roads through the estate. And there were two public footpaths which have fallen completely into disuse; we should be able to ignore these, but if there is sufficient of a protest we can adjust accordingly. The only real problem lies in the land abutting on the B. 1018 nearest to the centre of the village. It’s not at all clear what rights the villagers have over it. As it’s also the most valuable piece – about ten acres – we shall need to go into it carefully.’
Angell, Pearl and Little God Page 17