‘How? How can this be?’ Lila asked desperately, clutching at Noah, who shook his head.
‘I don’t know, sweetheart, sometimes it…just…happens.’
They clung to each other then, Lila sobbing, Noah’s own face wet with tears. Finally, calming down, Lila closed her eyes. ‘I wanted her so much, you know? I was so excited to have your baby, Noah; I know we can have more but…’
‘It’s okay,’ he said wearily, heartbroken, ‘it’s okay, sweetheart, to mourn our child.’
There was a knock at the door and the doctor came back in. ‘I’m so sorry, to both of you, It’s rare but late term miscarriages can happen. Have you had any trauma lately?’
Lila gave a hollow laugh. ‘Where do I start?’
Noah cursed under his breath, and then apologized to them both. ‘Lauren. Jesus H. Christ.’
The other doctor looked confused. Lila, head in hands, told her about Lauren’s break-in and their subsequent fight. Dr. Steven’s eyes were big and she shook her head.
‘You should call the police, report this. Obviously we won’t have the full cause of death until the autopsy,’ she took Lila’s hand, sympathy in her warm brown eyes. ‘Lila…I’m sorry to add to your pain but we need to make a decision now. Because of how late it is, we’ll need to either give you medicine that will induce birth straight away or wait for your body to naturally go into labor. That takes about two weeks but, Lila, it is risky to leave it and risk infection.’
‘I have to give birth.’ Lila’s voice was flat.
‘I’m afraid so. Caesarian is too risky, especially in your case. I’m so sorry. I’ll give you and Noah some time to discuss what you want to do.’
In the end, they all agreed to get it done, get through the worst part. Lila gave birth to their stillborn daughter at four am. the next morning and afterward, they were left alone with her to say goodbye. Lila couldn’t take her eyes from the small perfect features; Matilda Tierney Applebaum was a beautiful baby – with her tiny eyes closed, she looked as if she was asleep.
‘I keep looking at her and everything in me is hoping that she’ll just take one breath, live here with us, even if it’s only for a moment. Just hear our voices one time.’ Lila’s voice broke, her body wracked with exhausted, heartbroken sobs. Noah’s tears joined hers, dripping onto their daughter’s tiny forehead.
‘We love you, Bean,’ Noah kissed his child’s cold skin then kissed Lila’s temple. They stayed there for hours, the three of them, their family until the doctors came to take Matty away.
Manhattan
Tinsley woke in Charlie’s bed. At the hospital, after being stitched up and refusing to stay overnight, Charlie had overridden her objections and taken her back to his place. There he quizzed her on every detail of the attack until she was dropping from exhaustion. He apologized and put her to bed in his freshly changed bed. She had grabbed his hand as he turned to give her some privacy and just said, ‘Stay.’
Now she woke, cradled in the strong cage of arms, breathing his woody scent in, listening to his breathing. Safe.
Her wounds were sore now, her muscles aching but god, she was happy, amazed that she was still alive. Now all that was left was confusion; who the hell would want to kill her?
She realized the magnitude of confusion that Lila must have felt – and with the pain Tinsley had felt, she couldn’t comprehend the pain of being stabbed repeatedly, deep in the belly, that Lila had experienced. She felt weirdly closer to her absent friend and, now she felt desperate to see Lila, to talk with her, for that female warmth and understanding.
Tinsley looked at Charlie’s face as he slept, deep lines of worry etched on his forehead even at rest. ‘Charlie,’ she whispered, then pressed her lips against his. Charlie opened his eyes and smiled at her. She wanted to tell him then that she wanted to go to see Lila but as he smiled down at her and kissed her again, nothing else in the world mattered, nothing existed except for them, here, now.
Tinsley pulled him on top of her and wrapped her long legs around his waist. For a second, he looked amazed, then wary. ‘Are you sure?’
She nodded. ‘I need you, Charlie…’ and with a groan he buried his face in her neck and they began to make love, slowly, gently at first. As they lost themselves in each other, Charlie hitched her legs around his waist and drove his cock deep into her. Tinsley gasped, a mix of sweet pleasure and pain, then as she moved with him, their gazes locked and she gave herself over to the feral animal in her and they fucked long and hard, the intensity never letting up until they were both groaning and breathless, shattering climaxes ripping through them. Charlie moaned as his cock pumped thick, creamy cum deep inside her velvety cunt and Tinsley reveled in the feeling of his weight on top of her.
He made her come again with his mouth, again and again until she was exhausted and crying, then he gathered her into his arms and held her so tenderly as she let out all the tension that had built up inside her over the last twenty-four hours.
Tinsley was startled. ‘Really?’ They were sitting in his kitchen and she had just told him of her wish to see Lila. Charlie had shrugged and nodded. ‘Okay.’
He grinned at her now. ‘Of course, I’ve been thinking the same thing and I know she misses you. Also I want you far away from your apartment, the bar and anywhere else Riley might look for you so I do have selfish reasons too.’
Tinsley sipped her coffee. ‘I need to talk to Mikey first.’
Charlie cleared his throat and grinned, his face reddening slightly. ‘Kind of already did. Sorry if that was overstepping.’
Tinsley sighed. ‘On this occasion, you’re forgiven. How long did you get me?’
Charlie leaned over to brush a lock of blonde hair from her cheek. ‘As long as you need. That’s Mikey talking as well.’
Tinsley was relieved. ‘And Lila? Will she be okay with it?’
Charlie nodded slowly. ‘I haven’t called her yet, but I think so. Especially now,’ he added with a knowing grin and Tinsley chuckled. ‘Look,’ he said, checking his watch, ‘how about this. You go grab a shower and I’ll call her then we’ll go together to your place to pack, grab a flight this afternoon?’
Tinsley frowned. ‘What about your work?’
‘Don’t worry about that, I got some time owed.’
After she’d showered, checking her wounds in the mirror – a long slice down from her shoulder blade down her back, about three or four inches long; small cuts in a pattern over her left breast; a deeper wound in the soft flesh of her hip. God, I’m so lucky. As she dressed, she threw back a couple of aspirin with the rather stale glass of water by the bed.
When she was done, she went back into the kitchen – and stopped. Charlie was staring into the middle distance, an unidentifiable look on his face, his phone on the table in front of him.
For a second, every horrific scenario ran through her head. Had Riley finally got to Lila?
‘What is it?’
Charlie shook his head. ‘It’s Lila. She’s lost the baby.’
San Juan Island
Noah stroked Lila’s soft hair as they lay on the bed together, facing each other, talking softly. She had wanted to come back to the island rather than the condo, the place where they knew now the baby had died. The pathologist had been quick, patient and kind. The placenta had partially detached during the fight with Lauren and the baby stopped getting the nutrients it needed to survive.
Lila reacted with just a tight nod but Noah had walked out for a few seconds, trying to keep his temper in the face of Lila’s absolute grief.
They had a small burial service; Lila had wanted a Jewish funeral for Matty and so Noah performed a small service in the non-denominational chapel. It had been a day of unbelievable pain for both of them.
Now, they lay together, trying to assuage some of that pain by just being together. Charlie had spoken to Noah and Noah had gratefully told him and Tinsley to come. Lila too, had said she didn’t want to be one of those women who moon about and wa
ste time wishing that things could be different.
‘Talking of different,’ Noah said now, ‘I’m thinking of giving up my practice at the hospital. I’ve done everything I can achieve in my field…I’d like to go into research, maybe teaching. And that’s something we could do anywhere, Lila. What do you want to do?’
Lila sighed. ‘I want to go back to school, finish out my Masters, and see where we go from there.’
Noah half-smiled. ‘Still want the picket fence?’
A look of pain crossed her face briefly but she nodded. ‘I do. With you. Nothing else matters, Noah, not to me, except you now. But I won’t be defeatist, or,’ – and she smiled for the first time in days – ‘be a kept woman. I’ve decided I don’t want to keep Richard’s money. I never wanted it in the first place. If the Carnegie’s won’t take it back then I’ll tell them I’m giving it to charity – one of Richard’s that he supported or a few of them, I don’t know. I’m rambling, I know.’
Noah kissed her gently. ‘Ramble away. And I agree with you…why hold onto something that never felt right? It’s not as if we can’t afford it.’
‘I need to pay my own way,’ Lila said firmly then her shoulders slumped. ‘But I realize I can never compete.’
‘It’s not a competition and it’s just money. I would give away every cent as long as I have you.’
‘Romantic but totally impractical, that’s why I love you.’ She cupped her cheek in her palm.
‘When we’re married, it’ll be legally yours anyway,’ he said but didn’t say anymore.
‘I’m glad Charlie and Tinsley are coming today.’
‘Me too, baby.’
When their guests arrived, it gave them both a release. Tinsley and Lila held each other for the longest time, Lila horrified to hear what had happened to her friend. Tinsley and Charlie, Lila noted, were closer than ever. At least one good thing had happened and Lila was glad. ‘I’ve put you in the front bedroom, I hope that’s okay,’ she said so nonchalantly that the other three looked at her askance and she broke into giggles. God it felt good to laugh.
‘Subtle as a sledgehammer as always,’ Charlie grumbled as Tinsley laughed. Noah checked Lila’s cheek.
‘Momma Bear,’ then realizing what he’d said, he froze. Lila, despite the jolt of pain, smiled at him.
‘Always Momma Bear,’ she said softly. ‘Now, come, people, let’s eat.’
After lunch, Noah’s phone buzzed and he grimaced. ‘Looks like I have to go to the city for a work thing. Will you be okay?’ He left the question hanging, looking at Lila.
She nodded. ‘Of course, honey.’
He kissed the top of her head. ‘I’ll see you later. Charlie, can I grab you a sec?’
Charlie followed him out to his car. Noah took a deep breath and fixed him with a steady look.
‘You locked and loaded?’
Charlie smiled grimly. ‘You bet I am. Don’t worry…nothing’s going to touch our girls.’
Noah shook his hand. ‘There is back-up should you need it – Lila knows where the panic buttons and alarms are.’
‘Don’t worry, dude, I got this.’
‘I know, I trust you.’
Seattle
In the city, instead of driving to the hospital, Noah headed downtown to the business district, pulling into the underground parking garage of one of the high-rise office buildings. Joanne was waiting for him. ‘I can get you through security easier,’ she said when he asked her what she was doing.
Noah stopped. ‘You’ll be fired.’
She laughed. ‘Hell no I won’t, not when he hears what you have to say.’ She put a hand on his arm. ‘I’m so sorry, Noah, about the baby. I don’t have the words.’
‘Neither do I, Joanne, but thanks. Is she here?’ Joanne was showing her credentials to the security guards.
‘And utterly clueless as ever. I’m looking forward to this.’ Security waved them through and they stepped into the foyer of the Shannon Media building.
Noah smiled grimly as they got onto the elevator. ‘Believe me, so am I.’
Derek Shannon had built his company over forty years of hard, hard work, to the detriment of two marriages and, he believed, of his fathering skills. Lauren had the talent but none of the application, or hunger that he had, or required in his staff. But he was too kind-hearted to do anything about it, relying more and more on Joanne, who ran the company with such efficiency that Lauren was merely a figurehead. Strangely it had worked out well; Lauren glad-handed the clients, Joanne happy to stay out of the limelight. But lately, Lauren had grown morose, sulky and become that thing Derek had always feared – spoilt.
Derek Shannon could trace the very day it had happened; it was the day Noah Applebaum had decided he’d had his fill of Lauren’s princess act and cut her loose. Not that Derek blamed Noah; he had liked the intelligent young man very much and had hoped he would have some influence over Lauren. But once Lauren had discovered that Noah was from old money – forget it. Lauren wanted to be a trophy wife and never have to work. Derek actually admired Noah for saying no to Lauren and ending things but that was also the problem – Lauren was never dumped; she always did the dumping. And it rankled.
Right now, as he spoke to his board members, he kept glancing over at his daughter, who was staring out of the window, clearly bored. Derek sighed inwardly then looked up as Joanne entered the room with Noah Applebaum. Derek’s face lit up.
‘Noah! How wonderful to see you,’ he strode forward and took his hand, pumping it vigorously. Lauren was halfway out of her seat, looking shocked and alarmed but Joanne, very deliberately stood with her back against the only door to the room, and stared her down. Her gaze, full of disgust, said Try it, bitch, and I will take you down. Lauren quelled under the gaze of the much older woman.
Noah too glared at Lauren then turned back to Derek, who was looking mystified. ‘Derek, I’m sorry to intrude on your meeting but the reason I came was this. You need to know about what kind of person your daughter is.’
‘Noah, please,’ Lauren began but Noah raised a hand and she shut up. ‘Derek, a few days ago, your daughter broke into my home in the early hours of the morning and assaulted my girlfriend. My six-months pregnant girlfriend. Lila was defending herself and Lauren attacked her.’
‘Lauren, what the – ‘
‘Two days ago, Lila lost the child due to the attack. Our daughter died in utero. Lila had to give birth to a stillborn baby and yesterday, we buried her.’
Lauren’s face drained of all its color and there were gasps around the table. Joanne looked sick and Derek, seeming to shrink into himself, stumbled and had to grasp the table. He looked at his daughter.
‘Dad – ‘
‘Lauren, is this true? Did you break into Noah’s home and attack his girlfriend?’
‘She hit me first!’
Noah rounded on her. ‘You had broken into our home in the middle of the night! I should tell you, Derek, that my girlfriend is Lila Tierney.’
‘That name is familiar,’ Derek said weakly and Noah nodded, his face hard.
‘She was stabbed last year, brutally and she nearly died. At the time, she was engaged to Richard Carnegie.’
‘Oh my god…’
Lauren, seeing the look in her father’s eyes, started to plead. ‘I just wanted to see her, who she was, why Noah was moving on so fast. She attacked me; she hit me with something, look!’ She tugged her blouse down to show them the large bruise on her shoulder.
‘You broke into the home of a survivor of attempted murder in the middle of the night just to see her?’ Derek’s voice was flat now, angry. ‘And you wonder why she hit you first? And when you saw she was pregnant?’
‘No, no, no, I swear, after I saw she was pregnant I didn’t do a thing.’
Noah closed his eyes. He would never, ever strike a woman but Lauren was making it hard for him to remain calm and focused.
‘But you tried to choke her before,’ Noah said, his rage a roiling
thing inside him. Everyone else seated around the table, Joanne at the door, was riveted on the three people at the center of the drama. Lauren took a deep breath.
‘Daddy,’ she stepped towards her father but he moved back, staring at her aghast.
‘Who have I raised?’ His voice was a whisper. ‘What kind of person are you, Lauren? You were given everything. Everything. Including more chances than most people would ever dream of. And finally your recklessness has cost a life.’
Lauren started to cry but it was Derek that Noah felt bad for, but then he thought of Lila and Matty and his resolve hardened. Derek put a hand on his arm.
‘What do you want me to do, Noah? I will try to make this right, I swear to you.’
Noah sucked in a lungful of air. ‘No-one can do that, Derek, not when our child is lying in a grave and not in her mother’s arms. But there has to be consequences.’
Derek nodded. ‘I understand. Do you want me to go to the police, or handle this in-house?’
‘I’ll leave that up to you, Derek, I’ve said what I came to say.’ He stepped closer to the man and leaned in to murmur ‘Leave Joanne out of this, she was doing the right thing.’
Derek nodded tightly, glancing at his deputy. ‘You can trust me on that one, Noah.’
Noah nodded at him, then the others, ignoring Lauren and walked to the door.
‘I’ll make this right, Noah.’
Noah nodded again and left the room followed by Joanne. In the hallway they hugged, not needing words, then Noah rode the elevator down to the foyer. Before he went to get his car from the parking lot, he walked out into the fresh air, down the side alley of the building and threw up and up until he was dry-heaving.
San Juan Island
‘It is gorgeous here,’ Tinsley said, her arm linked with Lila’s as they walked around the state park. Lila was pointing out all the places she used to come walk when she got here, mostly to watch the orca from the shoreline. They found a bench and sat down. Lila looked at her friend.
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