“Seriously, promise me. I scare easily. And your big house is already creepy enough.”
He abruptly stopped kissing my neck, pulling away. “I promise, Dani.” He brushed my hair out of my face, staring in my eyes. “It was a bad joke. I want you to be comfortable here with me.”
I swallowed. How could he do that? Make me feel weak with just one look. Make me trust him with only a few words.
“Let’s go up to my room. I stay in there mostly anyway.” He took my hand, tugging me toward the stairs. “I’ll come back for your suitcase later.”
The moment we were behind his closed door, I felt much better. His room was cozy, inviting, less like a museum than the rest of the house.
My heart began to thud though. Because he had me alone. He had me all to himself. The last time I’d been in this room he’d fucked me hard while I held onto the bed post. Would he do it again?
I took a deep breath, watching him shrug off his jacket and empty his pockets.
“You’re looking at me like you want me inside you,” he whispered when our eyes met.
“I’m thinking about the last time I was in this room.” I was thinking about it so much my hands were beginning to tremble.
“Get in my bed then.” His voice turned husky. “I purposely didn’t fuck you in the bed the first time.”
I tingled all over. “You didn’t?”
“No. I’ve never had a woman in this room. I don’t even let the maid who visits once a month come in here. This is my space. I had you over there...” He nodded at the bedpost. “...so you wouldn’t touch my sheets. So they wouldn’t smell like you or remind me of you afterwards. Get in my bed, Danielle. I want to have you in my bed now.”
My throat went dry. A little shaky, I went and sat down on his bed. He came closer, stripping off his shirt, flinging it aside. He lifted me at my waist, making me move to the middle of his bed.
“I dated a woman for three years when I first moved to North Carolina and we never slept up here, we never had sex up here.”
“And you never had sex without a condom either,” I added.
“No. We didn’t.”
Whomever she’d been, there was no trace of her left in John’s life. I wanted to ask if she was the reason he stayed isolated. But then again, it sounded like his need for isolation came before her. And he never let her into his space or his life when they were together.
What did that mean?
I hated how special it made me feel knowing that in only a few short days he’d let me closer than anyone else.
I sat up and yanked off my shirt. I decided that he wasn’t going to ever forget having me in this bed.
~ CHAPTER 19 ~
JOHN
Something I said sparked fire in Dani. It wasn’t me having my way with her but the other way around. The girl couldn’t get enough. When she climbed on top for round three, I felt something in my heart pull.
I watched her beautiful body move in a bit of a trance. Most days I felt dark, moody, hopeless. But in the moment, I felt love. She made me want things I’d never wanted. All of it with her.
I moved here ten years ago to escape everything. No one understood why. They still don’t. But this girl. I think she got me. She certainly made the last few days the brightest of my life.
I sat up, squeezing her breasts, kneading them with my fingers, pushing her down against the sheets so I could take over. I wanted to kiss her, but I refrained. We hadn’t since that first soft kiss.
Were we back to that place again?
Instead I helped her climax, my heart soaring as she cried out my name like her own personal anthem, and for the third time tonight I exploded inside her. This time I swear I saw stars, my body vibrating, and my blackened heart continuing to open more to her.
I flopped down on the sheets, completely spent, breathing like we’d just finished a marathon. I needed food, water, and possibly electrolytes, but I couldn’t move.
“I don’t think I have any bodily fluids left,” I mumbled, squeezing her thigh, the closest part of her I could reach.
She laughed and curled into my side. “That was incredible.”
My eyes felt heavy, so I closed them. “So fucking incredible,” I told her as I drifted off. The pull for sleep was just too strong to fight.
When I woke up, several hours had passed. I was annoyed with myself for falling asleep and missing those post-sex hazy moments with Dani. They were the best part. My room was blanketed in quiet darkness. I reached into the space next to me for her body, but all I felt were cold, empty sheets.
Blindly stumbling around my room, I found a pair of my underwear and went on a search. For her and for food. I’d never been so hungry in my life. I found her in the kitchen.
She sat at the table in fresh clothes—black leggings and a t-shirt, cropped, that showed off her bare waist. The largest bowl of Lucky Charms was on the table in front of her. I’d caught her with a mouthful, so I just walked up, giving her shoulders a small squeeze, before I made a bowl for myself.
How old was this milk?
Luckily, only one day past its expiration. I’d have to go to the store tomorrow. I’d have to start cooking for her, too. We’d skipped dinner. I was a terrible host.
I sat across from her at the kitchen table. And we both ate in comfortable silence.
As she finished, she spoke first. “I ordered some drums. I hope that’s okay. They’ll get here tomorrow. I paid extra for the next day shipping. I got your address off some mail you had in your study.” She frowned. “Is that what you call that big room that’s part library, part office? I feel like a jackass saying a ‘study.’ It might be my favorite room in your house, though. The painted leather couches are gorgeous. Aside from your room, of course. Your room is my favorite. Sorry. I’m rambling. I’m tired.” She inhaled deeply.
I think she was nervous.
She didn’t need to be.
“I like your rambling. That’s fine that you ordered drums. It means you’re staying and I’m all for that.”
She stirred the remaining milk around in her cereal bowl—but I saw it. A hint of a smile on her lips. “Okay. I’m going to go back to sleep. I put all my stuff in one of the rooms on the second floor. I’ll be there.”
Not my room.
Ouch.
I tried to not be offended . If she didn’t want to share a bed with me, it probably meant she wasn’t quite ready for that. I wouldn’t push her if she wasn’t ready.
I stood up when she did. Wow, drawing on manners I hadn’t had to use in years. She reached for her cereal bowl, but I took it before she could. “I’ll clean up.”
“Okay. Well, goodnight then.”
Her eyes were on my lips. Dammit, I knew she wanted a kiss. It was written all over her face. But I hesitated.
“Goodnight, Danielle. See you in the morning.”
“Goodnight,” she whispered.
~ CHAPTER 20 ~
DANI
Oh, snap. I found the picture. I had to shove it down my pants when John came into the kitchen, but I had it.
I felt super guilty about having it. He didn’t seem upset when I told him I’d been in his study and looked at his mail to get his address. He acted as if he had nothing to hide, which made me think... Maybe he had nothing to hide.
Luke was probably wrong about him. And, thus, why I felt guilty as fuck snooping around. I’d taken the photo because it had been too dark to see downstairs.
Now, under the duvet cover in this guest bed, I stared at it. I used the flashlight on my phone and studied all the little details.
John looked young and different. Still very handsome, but a different kind of handsome. His hair was light, his clothes were posh, and his arms free of ink. He had an awkward half-smile on his face and his arm around Sydney in the photo. She might have been all of thirteen when it was taken, which made me wonder what their age gap was. Of course Sydney looked different now—she’d grown up. I also looked drastically differ
ent at thirteen. Doesn’t everyone?
But John was in his early twenties in the photo. The only question I had now was—what had sparked such a drastic change in appearance?
I also learned from the photograph that he came from wealth. But I guess, judging from this house, I already knew that. If I’d only ever seen his apartment above Kill Devil Ink, I wouldn’t have known.
Not that any of that mattered.
I opened the drawer on the room’s nightstand. Under an old magazine, I buried the photo. Then I rolled over to get some sleep. Only, my stomach had a big, fat knot in it. I felt so damn guilty for snooping. And for questioning him. The biggest chunk of me only wanted to have faith in him. He was so fucking trustworthy otherwise. It was my favorite thing about him. It bothered me to even question that trust.
I sighed, closing my eyes.
In the morning, or possibly early afternoon, after tossing and turning all night, I woke to a small tap on my door. John opened the door slowly, hesitantly, looked as sexy as ever against the sunshine that lit the room. He was freshly showered, in jeans and a long sleeved shirt. The shirt was just tight enough to show off the definition in his arms.
I tried to picture him with blond hair as he was now. But I couldn’t.
Blond didn’t fit him.
“Hey,” he said. “Can I come in?”
“Of course. You don’t have to knock.”
His teeth tugged at the corner of his bottom lip as he sat on the edge of my bed. “I got a call from the post office. They have several large packages waiting for you.”
I sat up, pushing the covers off, doing a happy dance on the inside. “That was fast.”
“There’s a large distribution center in Cary. So stuff gets here quick. But since the house is in the off-road part of the Outer Banks, we have to go pick it up.”
He smiled at me—a smile nothing like the forced half-smile from that old photo.
“What?” I asked, my traitorous heart racing at that one little look.
“You’re cute in the morning. You sleep okay?”
I shrugged. “Good enough.”
“Okay. I’ll be downstairs whenever you’re ready to go.” He started to stand up, to leave me, and I lurched to catch his arm.
“Wait. How old are you?” I asked him.
“I’m thirty-three.”
I would have guessed thirty, so not too far off. I kind of felt ridiculous for asking, because he almost sounded agitated by my question. I waited for him to ask me the same. When he didn’t, I said, “don’t you want to know how old I am?”
“I think twenty-eight. Somewhere in there. Does it matter?”
“I just want to know more about you.” Well, now I felt stupid for asking. We were ‘fuck buddies,’ right? Fuck buddies don’t ask each other about age.
I’d never asked anyone I slept with before. It was just always assumed they were in the right ballpark. So I shouldn’t have asked him either.
He came closer, tugging on my arm at my elbow so I’d move to my knees on the bed. I obliged. He wrapped his arms around my waist, drawing me close against his body, making my heart stampede under my ribs. “How old are you, Dani?”
I rolled my eyes.
“How old are you?” he repeated.
“I’m twenty-seven. You were close.”
“When’s your birthday?”
“March fourth.” I laughed nervously. “But you can find that on the internet.”
“Do you have any siblings?”
“Nope. Just my cousins.”
He dipped his head closer, so that his mouth hovered next to my ear. His warm breath made me shiver as he spoke. “I want to know fucking everything I can about you. I don’t care what the internet says.” He gently pressed his warm lips against me. I felt the metal of his lip ring. “I didn’t ask your age because I knew you were a little younger and didn’t want it to be a thing. Does it matter to you that I’m older?”
“No.”
His nearness had my body buzzing. Flashes of last night came to mind. I was beginning to crave this man. The only thing I could compare him to was my drumming. The way I began to ache for it, to feel the sticks in my hands, when days went by without playing. That was how I felt about John. Only about twice as intense. Right now I ached for him between my legs.
“Good.” He kissed the side of my face. “Good. Now get dressed. I have a whole day planned. Picking up the drums is just the beginning.”
What? He planned a day for us?
I watched him leave the room, stunned.
~ CHAPTER 21 ~
JOHN
It took two trips back and forth to the post office to get all the boxes that had arrived for Dani. My car couldn’t fit everything the way her Hummer rental, which was sitting back at my shop, could have. But we figured it out.
The boxes were now safely in my garage, waiting to be unpacked.
My plan for today wasn’t great. Only a picnic of sorts. But Dani kept smiling at me like I was taking her to Disney World. So I hoped like hell I wasn’t about to disappoint her.
We arrived at stop number one—one of the best hidden sandwich spots in the Outer Banks. She started to unbuckle.
“No, you wait here. I’ll be right back.”
I’d called in my order before we left the house. I ordered her a couple of different things not knowing what she’d like, figuring the leftovers would last us until tomorrow. And I’d ordered for Bobby, an old friend, who was part of today’s plan, his payment in the form of a turkey sandwich.
After I had our food, I drove back toward the house. She had to be thinking we were going home but we weren’t.
I could practically see her nervousness; the way she drummed on her legs as we drove, the way one knee bounced with impatience. She picked up her phone, shooting someone a text.
“You okay?” I asked.
“My cousin Luke is paranoid. He knows I’m with you. He’s texting me almost hourly to check in. He’s making me tell him things only I would know each time we text each other. Like a test I need to pass. He’s being ridiculous.”
I guess I hadn’t made a great first impression. I wasn’t even sure which cousin was Luke. The one who called the shop? The lead guitarist one? I think that was him. I needed to work harder at keeping them straight.
“If I’d kidnapped you,” I joked, “and was keeping you as my sex slave, I could just torture you by not letting you come until you gave me the answers to his texts. So not very smart on his part.”
Her sweet laughter filled the air.
No one ever got my humor, but she did and I felt elated.
“Now that sounds kind of fun.” She gave me a playful smile, before something caught her attention. “Is that where we are going?” She nodded toward the tall structure poking through the trees.
The Currituck Lighthouse was in view. She forgot my joke, and Luke’s protectiveness, as the red brick lighthouse became her focus. It seemed I’d picked a good choice for our picnic—her eyes were wide and excited.
The parking lot was empty on this cold November day. I gave Dani the food to carry and I grabbed a few blankets I’d brought from the trunk. Dani was not great at dressing weather appropriate. She had on a mini skirt and puffy black jacket today.
We set off toward the lighthouse.
“It says it’s closed. It’s only open two days a week from now until Spring.”
“I know it’s closed,” I told her. “This way.”
I led her toward the house beside the lighthouse—the keeper’s house. Inside a man I’d known most of my life greeted us. “Hi, Bobby.”
I wasn’t a hugger. But I let the old man, still very fit and agile, hug me. Then I introduced him to Dani. “Bobby, this is Dani. Dani, Bobby used to tend the grounds on the mansion.”
“For thirty-some years,” Bobby added with a big smile across his tan, weathered face.
“Who tends it now?”
“I do,” I admitted. “Bobby taught me every
thing I know about lawn care. The rose gardens are a bitch, don’t even get me started on those.” I laughed, joking. “I can’t afford Bobby anymore. The house, I inherited. But the taxes on it? I can barely afford the taxes. I should probably just sell it. It’s a pain in the ass to maintain.”
But I’d never sell. It held too much sentimental value for me. The only place I’d ever loved visiting as a kid. I grabbed Bobby’s turkey sandwich from our bag of food, handed it over in its white paper wrapping as my payment, before I grabbed the blankets and tugged on Dani’s arm.
We walked toward the lighthouse.
“In the summer there’s always an hour wait to get inside.”
The door was unlocked, thanks to Bobby. Inside we had quite the climb in front of us. A spiral wrought-iron staircase was the only way up. Two-hundred-twenty steps to be exact. I had Dani go in front of me, and her ass in that skirt was killing me. She had to be cold, though. At the top, I’d help get her warm.
As we came out into the open air and freezing wind, Dani sucked in a breath. We had a panoramic view of the Currituck Sound and the Atlantic Ocean. “There’s your home,” she said, leaning against the railing
Some serious vertigo hit me.
I hung closer to the door. And even though the height of the railing met her chest, seeing Dani close to the edge messed with my stomach. I felt nauseated. I tried to breathe, but my lungs were tight.
“Danielle.” She didn’t hear me, so I said it louder. “Danielle, can you step back?”
Shit, now my hands were shaking.
She turned and her eyes met mine. “Sure.” Maybe she understood how freaked out I was, because she moved away from the railing and closer to the structure of the lighthouse with me. She took the blankets and the food, setting up everything for us.
By the time I sat, I felt normal again. Normal-ish, anyway. I wasn’t sure I ever felt one-hundred percent normal. We ate in silence. Dani was shivering—very noticeably. So I bundled the second, fluffy blanket around her body. Still, she shook. So I pulled her in between my legs, wrapping them and my arms around her as best I could.
Never Kiss a Rockstar (Never Trust Book 2) Page 7