“Yes,” she answered, wrapping her arms around his neck, peppering him with kisses. “Yes.”
Not much got to me. But the big brother in me couldn’t have been happier for Sydney. To know she’d always be taken care of. To let some of that lifelong worry I’d always held for her go. It was an amazing feeling. It was magnified when I glanced at Dani and saw tears in her eyes.
I’d seen her get emotional a couple times. She had the toughest exterior, but the softest, gooiest interior. I loved that about her. She didn’t know my sister. She didn’t know Rhett. But this moment got to her. I hoped it was because she cared for me, and by default my family, too.
Dani spoke first. “You punched Rhett in the face?”
I threw my hands up. This always came up. “She was sixteen,” I cried. “And Rhett was Rhett. He had a terrible reputation. I walked outside Chancy’s Claw, and he was kissing my baby sister by the dumpsters.”
“It was my sixteenth birthday,” Sydney added.
“See. Even worse.” I smiled. This was forever ago. For the most part I’d moved passed from it.
“It was my sixteenth birthday,” Sydney told Dani. “And… that day at school, I saw the boy I liked having sex with his girlfriend in the bathroom. I mean, I saw everything. So later on that day, we were at my birthday dinner, I went out for air. And to cry. That was when I met Rhett for the first time.” Sydney smiled up at her now fiancé. “He made me feel better, just being Rhett, and he gave me my first kiss. John hit him for that kiss.”
“I had a bruise for two weeks,” Rhett added. “But I’d take the bruise in exchange for that kiss a thousand times over.”
“Before we left the restaurant, Rhett sent over a note with our waitress. It said to come find him when I was eighteen.”
Rhett wrapped his arms around her as she finished her story. “Spoiler alert,” he muttered, kissing her cheek. “She came and found me.”
“He remembered me,” she whispered, love and tears in her eyes.
I went over to the table and grabbed one of the wine glasses sitting out. I raised it. “Congratulations. And as long as Rhett continues treating you like the princess I often hear him calling you, then I will never hit him again.” That got a chuckle out of the room. Then on a more serious note, I added, “I love you both. I mean it. You’ve always proven yourself, Rhett. I’m sorry I stood in the way for so long. I’m sorry it took me so many years to accept you. I’ll try harder to not be so stubborn from here on out.” I truly meant that.
“Thank you, John” he said and nodded. “That means more than anything coming from you. I’m serious. Thank you.”
~ CHAPTER 34 ~
DANI
This was a Thanksgiving I’d never forget. John’s words to Rhett—they hit me hard. John didn’t love easily. But when he did, watch the fuck out because it was fierce.
He said that word to me before, and I hadn’t known what to make of it. But I was beginning to understand how special and rare John’s love was. This moment gave me another glimpse of it. All I wanted now was more of it. I’d had this one little, tiny, measly taste, and now I craved the whole damn cake.
There was lot of congratulations and excitement as we all sat down and ate dinner. Luke really had to be feeling awkward—he hated this sort of thing. Usually I hated it, too. But not today. Not with John. John kept looking at me like he was so happy I was here with him, experiencing this with him, witnessing it all. It made me feel comfortable and welcome.
After dinner, I volunteered with John to do the dishes so Rhett and Sydney could go have some alone time. My hands were elbow deep in soapy water when Luke approached us. “I’m going home,” he said. “I just booked a flight.”
“What? Now? You can’t.”
“You’re welcome as long as you want to stay,” John offered “I have plenty of space... plenty of rooms... plenty of food… plenty of everything.”
“Thanks, but I have to leave,” Luke said in regard to his offer. I don’t think that was an easy offer coming from John. He’d given it for me.
“I’m thinking about Rebecca,” Luke explained to me. “The stuff you said earlier in the garage... you were right. I need to speak with Caleb. I need to tell him the truth before more time passes. It’s going to blow shit up, but I have to go back. Can I take the Hummer? I’ll drive myself to the airport and return it to the rental company there.”
I pulled my wet arms out of the water, dripping all over the counter as I reached for a towel. “What do you mean blow shit up?”
“I mean... I slept with Rebecca. Years ago. While Caleb was still with her. I always thought she ended her relationship with him because of me. Maybe she did. Or maybe she ended it with him because she was pregnant. I think there’s a chance Caleb Junior isn’t really Caleb Junior.”
My mouth dropped open as I stared into Luke’s brown eyes. He stared back at me, searching for something. Forgiveness, maybe? Answers? I wasn’t the person he needed to be telling all of this to. That was for damn sure. “I don’t know what to say. I always knew you had a crush on Rebecca. But to sleep with her? While she was still with Caleb?”
“I know.” He shook his head. “I know.”
“And… you let Caleb walk away from Emma, the only girl I think he’s ever really, truly loved, knowing the whole time Caleb Junior might be yours? That’s fucked up, Luke.”
So this explained why he was so depressed and moody all the time. He was carrying this weight around on his shoulders.
I was so angry with him. I tossed the towel on the counter, my hands landing on my hips “You do need to go,” I told my cousin. “You need to make this right. You need to tell Caleb everything. I don’t care—take the fucking Hummer.”
“Don’t be like that. You saw the kid. He looked just like Caleb, not me.”
“That’s bullshit,” John commented. “You and your brothers—I still can’t keep you straight. You all look alike. If the kid looks like Caleb, then he looks like you too.”
John made a good point. Caleb Junior didn’t just look like Caleb. He looked like all of us, even me. “I feel awful for Emma,” I said. She was suddenly on my mind. And that turkey dinner sat heavy in my stomach thinking on it. “She’s such a nice girl. I’m sure it broke her heart when Caleb left with Rebecca.”
I didn’t know what to do to make this right. But I realized, for the first time in my life, it wasn’t my job to figure out my cousins’ mess. All I ever did was worry about the three of them.
“You should go and try to make it right,” I said, my voice softer now. “Tell him. Get a paternity test done. If the kid is yours, Caleb might still have a chance with Emma. I know he loves her. I know he’s hurting being apart from her. Hell, maybe you, Rebecca, and Caleb Junior can ride off into the sunset together. One big, happy, dysfunctional, redneck family.”
“Don’t joke about that.”
Wow. He was sensitive when it came to her. Like he had any grounds to be Rebecca’s defender. “Fine. Bye.” I gave him a half-hug. “The keys are on the hook by the garage door. Drive safe. Text me when you get there.”
A second later my cousin was gone. But my hands, they still shook. My stomach, it still felt heavy. My heart, it still ached. “I’m going to go throw up,” I whispered.
I left John and went to the closest bathroom. I sat on the floor, waiting for it. Several minutes passed and nothing happened. A minute later, John knocked at the door.
“Come in.”
He opened the door slowly, standing in the doorway, concern on his face. “You okay?”
I didn’t know the answer to that question. I nodded anyway.
He came in, closing the door behind him, kneeling beside me on the cold, hard tiles. “Do you need to go home?”
“No.” I said the word quickly. “No. I’m not going home. For once in my life, I’m staying away from the drama between the three of them. When we’re on tour—all I do is look after them, take care of them, and worry about them. For months
at a time. And I… I need this break.” I wanted to say, I need you. It was more than a break I needed. It was him I needed.
“Let’s go lay down. The dishes can wait. Sydney and Rhett aren’t coming out of their room anytime soon. All I want is to hold you in bed anyway.” He moved to stand, but I caught his face before he could get away. I kissed him right on his lip ring, pushing all my emotion into that kiss, breathing him in as deeply as I could.
I loved him. It was so apparent to me now. I was starting to get more and more used to this, used to us. It was going to kill me if we were only temporary. If I ever had to tell him goodbye, I’d probably crack in half never to be repaired again. I broke away from his lips.
“I need to tell you about something that happened when I was sixteen,” I muttered. I needed to tell him about Alexander. I told Luke I’d never tell John. But maybe he was the first safe person I could tell.
~ CHAPTER 35 ~
JOHN
Dani hadn’t told me what happened when she was sixteen. She hadn’t said much since we came up to my room hours ago. Sydney and I usually watched a Christmas movie before bed on Thanksgiving. It was one of our traditions. But I’d skip it this year for Dani. I’d wait however long I had to wait for Dani to talk to me.
And I knew, whatever she had to say—it had everything to do with her ‘one and done’ preference with men. I felt the blood in my veins turning a little hotter with each minute that slipped by. I would want to murder someone over this. I just knew it. I don’t know how I was going to stay calm when she told me what happened. I had an angry side, the side that punched Rhett in his face years ago, that I never wanted to let her meet.
It was one in the morning. I thought she’d drifted off to sleep, when she finally spoke. “What were you like at sixteen?”
Oh God. “A rich asshole.”
“As opposed to a medium-income asshole?” she teased, smiling and turning in to snuggle against my chest. It was the first time she’d touched me all evening. It instantly calmed me. “I’m kidding,” she added. “You’re my favorite person.”
Under the glow of the lamp beside my bed, her brown eyes flickered up to meet mine. Her cheeks flushed like she was terrified by what she’d just said. Her reaction sent chills across my skin. I had to concentrate on breathing evenly. Usually I was the one making ridiculous statements about how much I cared for her. Getting one from her meant everything to me.
“Tell me what you meant earlier,” I said gently. “You know I’m going fucking crazy worrying over it. Whatever it is, it stays with me forever. Just tell me, Danielle. Trust me.”
“The boy I loved died.” She said the words quickly and evenly. “We’d been dating a few months. I was hopelessly in love with him. If I even knew what love was then. He was Luke’s friend growing up. I’d known him since kindergarten. And he died. It was a car accident. He was speeding.”
“What was his name?”
Only then did emotion seep into her voice. “Alexander.” She said it like she hadn’t spoken the name in years. “I don’t know if we’d still be together now. He was always a little jealous and controlling, and I never liked that. But he was also gentle with me, patient in other ways, kind when it mattered. I had my first kiss with him. I lost my virginity to him.”
“Good,” I told her.
“What do you mean? How is it good that I experienced all of that with him only to lose him in the next moment?”
“I’m sorry you lost him. Really, I am. I’m sorry you had to experience something like that so young.” I cupped her face in my hands, knowing how much this loss still affected her, understanding her just a little bit better. “But when you mentioned before that something happened to you at sixteen, I thought the worst. But this… it sounds like he loved you too. To lose your virginity to a person like that, even if your time with him was short, is something very special. Something most of us don’t get. You should look back at that with happiness, not just the sadness.”
“Who was your first?” she asked.
Was asking this her way of changing the subject? It didn’t matter. I’d tell her anything she wanted to know, especially in this moment. I removed my hands from her face.
“Someone not so special. Someone older. Someone taking advantage of a cocky, arrogant, spoiled teenager—who deep down was just as innocent as Sydney was at that age. She wasn’t the only person to take advantage of my vulnerabilities. History keeps repeating itself. And I never seem to get any wiser.”
I meant Dani as I said this. I lumped her in with the rest. Shelley, my ex—she’d lived in my house, spent years telling me how much she cared, only to fuck the first attractive bartender who caught her eye. She slept with Rhett, hoping for more with Rhett, and when he didn’t give it to her, she tried to come back to me. Fuck her. And fuck my mom’s friend who took my virginity. I only hoped like hell Dani wouldn’t be another name on that list.
No, I decided. I wouldn’t believe that. This time I had it right. Even if Dani made it clear in the beginning that she only wanted something superficial, I now felt more with her than I’d ever felt with anyone else. She had to be the one. She had to be my forever. At this point, I couldn’t even fathom any other possibility.
“Take off your pants,” I whispered.
She sucked in a breath, surprised at my sudden need, but she didn’t deny me. Maybe we both needed it. I grew hard, my heart hammering, as she worked the leggings she wore down. Then she slipped off her underwear. The moment her clothes were out of my way, I rolled her on top of me. I had my cock free from the confines of my sweatpants in an instant. I guided inside her familiar warmth. I closed my eyes and inhaled deeply. Happy fucking Thanksgiving. This right here. This is what I was thankful for most this year.
“Dani,” I muttered, opening my eyes. “I promise to always go the speed limit.”
“Don’t be a jackass.”
This wasn’t me joking. “I’m being so fucking serious right now.” I moved, sitting up, pushing her body down against the sheets so I could be on top. I pulled all the way out, only to shove deep inside her again. And again. When her breathing started to speed, matching my rhythm, I spoke again. “Before you, I was dormant,” I confessed, my voice jagged. “Hibernating.” Another stroke inside her velvet. “Going through the motions.” I rolled my hips, moving in and out again. “Now I feel everything. With you—everything.” I slowed and then stopped, swallowing hard. “I will always go the speed limit,” I promised again. “I will always want to live to see another day with you.”
We weren’t finished, but I moved off of her. I was making her all these promises, but I don’t think she understood. This was just sex to her, right? Just a safe place to hide out from the world. A break. A break from her cousins. A break from her rockstar life. What would happen when the break ended? When it was time for her band to tour the world again? When she left me behind? Because that had to happen sometime, right? She called me her boyfriend. But was that only a convenient definition to fit the moment?
I was halfway across my room when I felt her hand tug at my wrist. She’d followed me out of bed. I turned back around, to face her, knowing it was time I ended this.
Because, in all honestly, I couldn’t continue this unless I knew she was mine. My hands were shaking. I didn’t know if I had the strength in me to actually say the words, to let her go. Nothing inside me wanted that even if I knew it was the smart thing to do.
She stood on her toes. Her hands went to my neck. “Look at me,” she muttered.
I did.
“I,” she mouthed. Her brown eyes were so honest, they sent a shot of heat through my veins. Her mouth moved over the second word— “Love.” Was I imagining this? “You.”
“I love you.” She said it all together and out loud this second time. “No ‘l-word’ nonsense. No silly ‘no kissing’ rules which I only made up for myself in hopes I would never have to say these words aloud again. No being dormant for either of us, ever again. Because
trust me, I was trying to do the exact same thing as you. I guess that sort of bullshit can’t work forever.”
She was so fucking amazing. I moved to kiss her. But she stopped me with a hand on my chest. “I’m not finished.”
“Okay.” I smiled. I could listen to this all day. “Continue. Please.” I glanced down at her naked chest. Her tits were right there, tempting me. Her little nipples taut and pink. “Fuck, you’re hot. I just want to kiss you now.”
She frowned. “Stop. You’re messing up my concentration. I lost track of what I was saying.”
“You love me.” I bit down on my lip, working at my lip ring. It was taking every ounce of my control to keep from touching her. I wanted her back in bed and under me.
“I love you,” she muttered again. “Say it back to me.”
“You know I fucking love you.”
“Tell me this isn’t temporary.” Her face paled. “Please.”
This surprised me more than her telling me she loved me. She wanted it to be permanent. “It’s not temporary.”
“You mean it?”
I can’t believe I even considered ending this a moment ago. “Hell yes, I mean it. I want to be the only man inside you ever again. The only man who gets to make you come. The only man who gets to hold you at night. The only man you tell your secrets to. I’m your boyfriend. That means it’s just us. And that means there is no expiration date on this thing between us. You okay with all that?”
She nodded. “Yes.”
“Then get your ass back in my bed. I’m sorry I doubted you for even a second right then.”
“You doubted me?”
“Yeah. But it will never happen again.”
She nodded. “I love you, John.”
“I love you, too. Now move.”
~ CHAPTER 36 ~
Never Kiss a Rockstar (Never Trust Book 2) Page 12