by C. C. Wood
We worked out together for at least an hour and a half daily. We played poker and other card games. They also allowed me to torture them with my TiVo choices on a daily basis. Centuries old vampires didn’t really appreciate the nuances of The Real Housewives of New Jersey or Snapped. I think they knew the only reason I watched those shows was to drive them crazy anyway.
As the days turned into weeks, and the weeks became a month, we’d formed a bond. I considered them friends, and they treated me as an equal rather than a burden.
“You seem distracted,” he murmured.
I shrugged. “I am.”
“Do you want to talk about it?”
I glanced at him in surprise. Luca talked to me about lots of things; religion, philosophy, history, even art. Somehow, he managed to avoid anything too personal. It was the first time he’d asked me if something was bothering me.
“Thanks, Luca, but I’m still figuring it out myself.” I took another sip of water.
“Conner called me this morning,” Luca stated. The words were casual, but his expression wasn’t. “He wanted to know if I’d be willing to turn you.”
I choked on my drink. As I coughed and hacked, Luca patted me on the back. When his last pat felt like more of a swat, I waved a hand at him.
“I’m okay, I’m okay,” I wheezed. “Give me just a second and stop smacking me. You’ll crack one of my ribs.”
As soon as I could breathe somewhat normally again, I lifted my head to look at him.
“What did you say to Conner when he called?” I asked, studying Luca closely.
I wasn’t sure how old Luca was when he was turned, but he looked to be in his early thirties now. His sleek black hair was long and he often wore it pulled back into a ponytail. His features were striking in the way only a person with perfect bone structure could be. His face was a study in perfect symmetry with his full lips and high cheekbones.
Though he was beautiful, it was his eyes I found the most arresting. They were so dark they appeared to be black, but it wasn’t the color that made them noticeable.
It was the stark pain that filled them. Whatever had happened to Luca in the past, it hurt him deeply.
Not only could I see it in his eyes, I felt it emanating from him every time I was near him. My abilities also made me sensitive to emotions. Even if I wasn’t trying read him, I was able to feel the pain anyway because it was sharp and heavy, emanating from him like the endless waves of the ocean. My heart ached just experiencing a small portion of it.
He never talked about it. Luca was close-mouthed about nearly every aspect of his life. Still, I understood enough about him to know he was a good man. Well, a good vampire.
“I told him I would do it if you wanted me to,” he murmured.
“Okay, but is that what you want to do?” I pressed. I didn’t want him to feel obligated because of pressure from Conner or even me. If he wasn’t truly willing, then it could become a disaster.
Luca looked down at his hands and didn’t speak for a long moment. Finally, he answered my question. “Yes, but it wouldn’t be right.”
I was surprised by his words. Considering his tendency to keep to himself, I assumed that he would have adamantly refused. “Why do you say that?”
“You….ease something in me, Shannon, something I never thought could be eased. But if I turn you, you’ll be forced to share my burdens and you don’t deserve that. No one but me should pay the price for the choices I once made.”
“Luca—”
He shook his head vehemently. “I’m not going to bare my soul for you. Not now, and probably never. Just know that I’ll do it if you want me to.”
Before I could respond, he got to his feet and headed out of the room, the stormy swirl of his emotions following him.
* * *
“Shannon?”
I looked up from the book I’d been pretending to read to find Duncan hovering over me.
“Dinner will be ready in about fifteen minutes.”
I nodded. “Thanks, I’ll be right there.”
He didn’t walk off as I expected. Instead, he plopped down on the love seat next to me. “Wanna talk about what’s bothering you?” he asked.
I sighed. “Not really.”
“Okay, how about we talk about Conner calling me this morning?”
Crap. I hadn’t thought through the ramifications of any of this when I talked to Conner last night and that was unlike me. I usually thought out every detail I could think of and made numerous contingency plans, yet I hadn’t considered for one moment that Conner might ask the vampires I’d been living with the last month if they would be willing to turn me. It should have been the first thing I contemplated.
“Did he talk to you about my request?” I asked.
Duncan nodded, but didn’t say anything else. While Luca was broody and dark, Duncan was much more like me. He was mischievous and tended to use humor or sarcasm to redirect uncomfortable conversations. I found his short silence unsettling.
“And?” I prompted.
He shrugged. “It depends on you, Shannon. Of course I’m willing to help you, but this will be a big deal. Since we’re not mates, the kind of closeness we’ll experience at first will be disconcerting. I’m sure there are things we’d both like to keep private.”
I studied him closely and, for the first time, caught a glimpse of suffering much like Luca’s. With his short light brown hair and scruff, Duncan looked to be in his mid-twenties, and he always seemed to have a playful gleam in his bright blue eyes.
Except now.
As I watched, the emotion moved across his face before disappearing behind an affable half smile. I suddenly realized that Duncan just hid his pain in a different way, but it went as deep as Luca’s. He kept it carefully concealed.
It seemed that I didn’t know Duncan as well as I thought.
And God knew I wasn’t jumping for joy at the idea of someone having a window into my head.
“I understand,” I responded. I wasn’t sure what else to say. Now that I had this new insight, I didn’t know what to think.
Duncan touched my arm lightly, which surprised me. Neither he nor Luca touched me unless we were sparring. Ever. They both seemed keen on keeping a physical distance.
“We’ll help you if you want it, Shannon,” Duncan stated. “We only want you to be sure of whatever decision you make.”
“Thanks.”
He nodded and got to his feet. “Dinner will be ready in a few minutes.”
I watched him leave the room, but my mind was elsewhere. I shut my book and tossed it on the cushions next to me. Pulling my knees to my chest, I wrapped my arms around my legs and stared at the fire that Luca had started in the fireplace earlier.
The situation was getting so much more complicated than I expected. My gifts were telling me to hurry, that it was a necessity. My heart was telling me to wait.
I was torn between two paths and, for the first time, I couldn’t bring myself to make a decision. Indecisiveness wasn’t normal for me. For years, I’d lived and worked in a world that required me to take action quickly or people could get hurt.
Now it seemed as though the entire world was out of focus, clear cut beliefs I’d once held were wavering.
“Shannon!” Duncan called. “Dinner!”
I uncurled my limbs and climbed off the couch. Stretching my arms above my head, I winced as sore muscles from this morning’s session made themselves known.
Moving slowly, I wandered out of the den and down the hall toward the kitchen. I could smell garlic and onions, and my stomach rumbled. When I entered the kitchen, Duncan looked over at me from the sink where he was draining a pot of pasta.
We took turns making meals. When we first arrived at this house together, Luca and Duncan had incorrectly assumed I would be doing all the cooking. After I’d made it clear that wouldn’t be the case, we’d gone on a rotation. We each cooked two nights a week and one of the guys would pick up take-out on the nig
ht none of us cooked.
“Spaghetti tonight?” I asked, my mouth watering.
He nodded.
I loved spaghetti and meat sauce. It was one of my favorite comfort foods, and Duncan made the absolute best, which was ironic because Duncan had been born a vampire in Ireland. Even Luca loved Duncan’s spaghetti and meat sauce and he grew up in Italy before he was turned.
I knew he’d made it because he understood that I was feeling out of sorts. Duncan often did things like that. He sensed when I was feeling antsy or upset, and somehow he would find a way to cheer me up. Much like the way I would take the time to make Luca feel better when I sensed he was brooding about something.
As Duncan brought the platters of spaghetti and garlic bread to the table, I settled into a chair.
When we were both seated, I smiled at him and said, “Thank you.”
He knew exactly what I meant, but he didn’t address it. “You’re welcome.”
“Where’s Luca?” I asked. Usually it was Luca who called me to dinner if Duncan was cooking.
“He wasn’t hungry.”
Shit. I knew Luca’s withdrawal had to do with our conversation this morning.
“Maybe I should go talk to him,” I murmured.
Duncan shook his head as he twirled spaghetti on his fork. “I wouldn’t.”
I glanced up at him, surprised at his statement. “Why? Did he say something?”
As he shoved the food into his mouth, he shook his head. After he swallowed the bite, he said, “He never says anything, but he’s a broody bastard. You need to give him time and space to deal with whatever’s bugging him.”
Duncan would understand Luca better than I. They’d known each other for decades.
Still, I loathed the idea that I might have caused Luca pain and there was nothing I could do to assuage it. I also didn’t understand why my request upset him so much.
“I don’t understand why he’s so upset,” I muttered under my breath.
Duncan leveled a look at me. “Don’t you?”
I shook my head. “No, I don’t, Duncan.”
“I know you’re a sensitive, Shannon. Surely you can feel his emotions.”
“Not always. I try to keep that part of me closed off when it’s just us. I know it’s an intrusion and I don’t want to invade either of your privacy.”
He looked surprised at my admission. “You can do that?”
“It doesn’t always work the way I want, but I can do it most of the time.”
“So you really don’t know?” he asked.
“Know what? Why are you being so cryptic, Duncan?”
He stared at me for a prolonged moment. “It’s not my story to tell. You’ll have to talk to Luca.” He paused. “Just give him a day or two, okay?”
“What am I missing?” I pushed.
Duncan shook his head. “I can’t tell you anymore, Shannon.”
With a sigh, I let it go. It seemed he was intent upon remaining tight-lipped. “Fine.”
My pleasure in my favorite meal dampened, I took a sip of the red wine Duncan had poured for us earlier and picked up my fork. As we ate in silence, I realized that I no longer had control of my life and there was nothing I could do about it.
And that scared the hell out of me.
Chapter Three
Duncan and I spent an oddly tense night watching TV in the den. Luca never reappeared. I was so busy mulling that I didn’t hear half of Duncan’s complaints about the television show I forced him to watch. Hell, I didn’t even notice that the TV was on.
Finally, at nine-thirty, I threw in the towel. I couldn’t handle the tension any longer. Even though Duncan and I were both using mental blocks, I could still feel the weight of his thoughts in the air and I was sure he was sensing some of my worries as well. This was one of those times that I couldn’t shut down my abilities as well as I wanted to.
“Okay, I’m going to bed,” I stated.
Duncan grunted, which made me smile. Sometimes he treated me more like a little sister than a woman. I was used to it though. Most of the men I worked with at the security firm were the same. It was what I wanted. I needed them to see me as one of the boys and treat me as an equal.
I required the same from Duncan and Luca because it granted the illusion of normalcy even though my world had been turned upside down.
I climbed the stairs to my bedroom, pausing next to Luca’s door. There was no light beneath and no sounds of the radio or the television, but I sensed that he was awake inside. I hated the thought that he might be sitting alone in the dark and I wanted to knock, but I didn’t. That’s not what he wanted from me right now.
I walked down the hall to my bedroom and closed the door behind me. Since it was still a little too early for me to go to sleep, I decided to take a long, hot bath and then settle down to read for a bit.
I was about to turn on the water when my burner phone rang. My heart sank. My phone never rang except on my scheduled days to talk to my girlfriends. Today wasn’t one of those days.
I connected the call and lifted the phone to my ear. “Hello?”
“Shannon, it’s Conner.”
“Is everything okay? Please tell me nothing happened to Donna—”
“Everyone’s fine,” he reassured me.
My body relaxed as relief filled me. “Okay. Okay, good.” I took a deep breath and released it slowly. “So what’s going on?”
“I’m on my way over.”
“What?”
“Duncan knows I’m coming. I’ll be there in fifteen minutes.”
I wanted to ask him what in the hell was going on, but he didn’t wait for a response from me.
“See you soon,” he stated, disconnecting the call.
Slowly I lowered the cell away from my ear, wondering what had prompted this late night visit from Conner. I rarely made trips away from the safe house and he’d never been here before. It was dangerous for too many people to come and go from this location.
I jerked at the sharp rap on my bedroom door and walked over to answer it. Duncan stood on the other side, looking grim.
“Conner’s on his way over.”
I nodded and lifted my phone. “I know. He just called me.”
“Any idea why?” he asked.
“Not a clue,” I answered, shaking my head.
“Damn. This can’t be good.”
“Okay, well, I’ll meet you downstairs in a few minutes. He said he’ll be here in fifteen.”
Duncan nodded. “I’ll let Luca know what’s going on.”
I went into the bathroom and winced when I saw my reflection. My skin was pale and my hair was twisted into a messy knot. I hadn’t been thinking much about my appearance lately since I never left the house. There was a little nudge in my conscious mind, telling me to take a few moments to make myself presentable. I didn’t question it.
Quickly I washed my face and took my hair down to brush it then smoothed it back into a neat ponytail. When I finished, I headed downstairs to find both Duncan and Luca in the den, frowning at each other.
“Either of you know what’s going on?” I asked.
Duncan shrugged and Luca crossed his arms over his chest. The doorbell rang and Duncan went to answer it. Conner entered the room, nodding at both Luca and I, before continuing past us.
Confused, I watched as he walked through the den and headed straight toward the back door. When he opened it, my heart thumped hard against my sternum before settling into a rapid tattoo.
Asher stepped over the threshold, his blue eyes locked on me. Something deep inside me shifted, like two pieces of my soul had finally come together. They clicked into place and, for a moment, I thought everyone in the room heard it.
“Shannon, you remember Asher, right?” Conner asked.
I managed to tear my eyes off of Asher and pull myself out of my trance to answer his question.
“Yeah, I remember Asher.” I chanced another look at the vampire in question. “Hello.”
He nodded at me. The rest of the vampires greeted each other with handshakes and quiet words. I couldn’t focus on what was happening around me. The shifting of my very soul resonated within me and I was so shaken by it that I couldn’t believe I was still standing.
Suddenly I became aware of Luca and Duncan leaving the room. Neither of them looked happy. Before I could ask them what was happening, Conner distracted me.
“Shannon, why don’t we all have a seat? Asher and I want to talk to you about something.”
I perched on one of the chairs across from the couch as they took a seat as well. My nerves were jangling, but I couldn’t tell if it was because of Asher or if it had to do with the reason they were here. Overwhelmed with my own emotions, I couldn’t get a clear read on the room.
I noticed that no one had spoken for close to a minute. Clearing my throat, I asked, “Okay, so what did you want to talk about?”
“Since your visit yesterday evening, I’ve spoken to several unmated vampires I know. Most of them are willing to help you.” He paused. “But Asher proposed something that I think you would be interested in. Because of your experience, I think it’s something to consider.”
Now I was even more confused. “I don’t understand.”
Conner looked to Asher. I had to steel myself before I met his eyes because I feared he would see my every thought and feeling written on my face. When I was confident that my mental block was in place, I lifted my gaze to his.
His expression gave me no clue as to what he was thinking and his emotions were locked up just like mine.
“I’m going to kidnap you.”
“Excuse me?” I glanced quickly at Conner, whose eyes were rolling toward the ceiling in obvious exasperation.
Before Asher could answer my question, Conner raised a hand. “Maybe I should explain the plan.” He shot an irritated look at Asher.
“Yeah, maybe you should.” I hadn’t meant to sound snippy, so I cleared my throat. “I mean, please go on.”
He stared at me, his expression impossible to read, but whatever thoughts he had they probably weren’t good. Finally, he continued, “For the last few months, Asher has been an active member in the Faction. They seemed very eager to have him at first, especially when we fed them information. However, since Kerry killed Dante, things have changed. They’ve been keeping Asher on the outside. We need to get their attention and gain their trust, but in a way that won’t raise suspicions.”