“Let’s put it this way, Lizzie. If I hadn’t been there to save you, you wouldn’t be postponing your wedding. You’d be dead. An avalanche is serious business; you lived here long enough to know that, even if we don’t see that many. You’re also lucky you were near the bottom when you got caught in it.”
Liz thought about that for a moment. “An avalanche? I thought I fell.”
“Nope. I heard a big creaking sound and a pop and next thing I knew you came surfing by, unconscious.”
The seriousness of the situation hit her full force, and a shiver ran down her spine. Liz closed her eyes to ward off his words and the reality of her brush with death. “Thank you,” she said before she could reel in the words. The last thing she wanted was for him to feel like she owed him something.
“You’re welcome. Now eat up.”
He returned to his soup with gusto and ignored her. Liz found her appetite had left her, but she forced herself to eat some of it to get her strength back.
She had a wedding to get to.
* * * *
All Jason wanted to do was grab Lizzie and hold on tight. He wanted to take away that lost little girl look and tell her everything would be all right.
Yet, the thought of repeating history made him want to run away at lightning speed. He’d been burned for his mistakes, and he wasn’t about to let it happen again.
“You need to rest. You’ve probably got a concussion after your fall.” He had to get away from her for a little while. Sitting so close, seeing the depths of her wide eyes staring at him made his heart do those funny little dances in his chest he’d sworn he never wanted to feel again.
“Yeah, I’m still pretty tired.” She looked around the cabin. “Where are you going to sleep?”
“On the couch. Call if you need anything.”
“Is there a TV here?”
He couldn’t help but laugh. “No.”
“Why not?”
“I never bothered to put one in. This place runs on a generator when the power is out. The avalanche took out all the power. And most people don’t come here for TV.”
“Oh.” He loved how her cheeks turned a pretty pink as she caught the sexual implication.
“There are plenty of books on the shelf over there in the corner.”
Liz pushed away from the table and stood. She swayed a little. He leaped to his feet and wrapped his arms around her waist.
“You okay?” His eyes slammed shut at the feel of her soft body aligned with his. She pressed against his chest with her palms and pushed at him.
“I’m fine,” she said sharply. “Let me go.”
Slowly, he opened his eyes and looked at the woman he used to love. Still loved, although he didn’t understand why. She’d left him without a word just when he thought his life was getting started. For seven years, he’d hung suspended in the air, waiting for her to come back or waiting for some explanation to fill the gaping hole. Oh, how he’d wanted to go after her, make her see reason. But the simple return of his engagement ring told him everything he needed to know.
Even now, she flaunted that massive rock on her finger like it was her pride and joy. But what she didn’t realize yet was the happiness she continued to allude to was eluding her. Her eyes were dead.
He remembered everything she’d said while she was unconscious:
I don’t love him the way I love you.
I can’t marry him feeling like this.
The question was, did he believe her? He might have the moment she’d realized who he was and her eyes sparked to life, but everything from her body language to her speech screamed that she hated him.
“Let me go,” she said again.
He tugged her closer.
“Don’t you dare kiss me,” she warned, but her hands fisted in his shirt and she leaned into him, in perfect contrast to her words.
His lips touched hers in a whispered caress. He pulled back to look at her, and he saw that she wasn’t angry anymore. In fact, she stared at his mouth with the same hunger he felt churning inside his gut.
“We’re over, Jason,” she whispered.
“Far from it.” He grinned, trying to convey confidence when all he felt was hesitation.
He touched his lips to hers again, giving her plenty of time to move away, but he thought she might have leaned into him a little.
Her lips felt exactly like he remembered. Her delicate and smooth touch moved over him. Sliding his fingers through her hair, careful of the bandage at her temple, he held her against him, exploring her sweetness. She responded with a sigh and relaxed. Her fingers looped behind his neck and pressed him closer.
When things started to escalate, and their breath mingled together in short, little pants, Liz pushed away from him.
“I hit my head harder than I thought,” she mumbled and wiped her mouth. Then, she angled a disgusted look his way. “It’s like kissing a goat.”
“Maaaa,” he said and walked across the small expanse of the living room, grabbing the first book he saw. He turned and lay down across the couch with his feet propped up on the end. A quick glance over his shoulder confirmed she still stood exactly where he’d left her, with her mouth hanging open.
“So, that’s it?” she demanded, marching to the couch and towering over him with her hand on her hip. “You’re going to kiss me and then…read a book?”
“Yup.” As much as it bothered him to let the woman he loved believe he didn’t care, he would do what was necessary to get her back. Because he realized after her unconscious confession that she still loved him and now, with their kiss, there was no doubt in his mind. She was the one he was meant to be with. He had a little over forty-eight hours to convince the conscious Lizzie what her subconscious had already admitted to him.
“You can’t do that.”
“Watch me.” He worked hard to keep his voice even. What he really wanted to do was to yell at her for leaving him. Or kiss her until they made up for the last seven years they’d spent apart.
Or both.
“Fine.” She snatched the book closest to her off the shelf and stormed back into the bedroom.
The door slammed behind her.
It took everything Jason had not to follow her.
Chapter Three
Liz awoke and breathed in a deep, cleansing breath as she looked out the window. The sun shining through promised a beautiful day. The dizziness that had been plaguing her since the avalanche seemed to have eased. Today, she would get back to Patrick so they could continue on with the wedding.
She didn’t allow herself to think about the kiss she’d shared with Jason the night before. A mistake was a mistake. One she wouldn’t let happen again.
The smell of bacon drifted to her and she sat up, cautious of the dizziness. When nothing tilted, she stood and stretched. Things weren’t nearly as achy as they had been yesterday, and she was thankful. It might be a long trek in the snow if Jason refused to take her into town.
With a spring in her step, she walked out into the kitchen and she was surprised at the feast she saw on the table.
“I thought we only had chicken noodle soup,” she mused.
“For dinner, we do. But I still have a lot of stuff for breakfast. Pancakes?” he asked, poising a spatula in mid-air as he waited for her answer.
“Uh, sure.” Who was she to turn down a fattening meal on the eve of her wedding?
“Take a seat, and I’ll have it ready in a second. How are you feeling?”
“Good. I think I can make the walk back into town or at least to my car at the park entrance.”
His confident chuckle filled her ears and made her feel like a school girl in trouble. “No, you can’t.”
“You can’t stop me.”
An eyebrow raised in a silent dare.
“You can’t, Jason.” There was that shrug she disliked so much.
“Maybe not, but three feet of snow might. And if the snow doesn’t, the single digit temperatures will.”
She glared. “Don’t think you can kiss me and then boss me around.”
“I haven’t thought once about the kiss,” he said. “You’re the only one talking about it.”
And then it began again, the boiling rage he could evoke so quickly, turning her from a lamb into a lion. “I haven’t thought about it, either!”
“Then why did you mention it?”
“Because you’re trying to keep me here on purpose like you own me or something!”
He shrugged. “If you want to walk in three feet of snow barefoot and in pajamas, be my guest.”
“Where are the shoes I wore when I fell?”
“Beats me. Probably still underneath the avalanche.”
“Then I’ll borrow some of yours.”
“Sorry honey, but the only pair I’ve got is on my feet. And I’m not about to sacrifice my toes in the name of your wedding.”
Seething, Liz fell silent.
After a moment, a plate of piping hot breakfast slid under her nose. “Thank you,” she mumbled.
While they ate in silence, Jason glanced her way a few times, but as soon as she thought he might say something, he shoveled another mouthful of food into his mouth, instead.
After awhile, he said, “I’ve got to go out and check the mountain today by foot. Will you be all right alone?”
“Why do you have to do that?”
“It’s my job.”
“I thought you were a policeman.”
“Nope. When old man Horton retired, I decided to step up and take on the job.”
“Oh. Well, I’m not staying here, remember?”
“Then I guess I’ll head back toward town after my rounds so I can pick your corpse out of the snow and deliver it to your waiting fiancé. At least I can take my time. The snow will preserve you nicely.” As an afterthought, he added, “And I thought he was the only stupid one.”
“Haha,” she said.
“I’m not kidding, but if you want to find out for yourself, go right ahead. I’ll radio in to Sheriff Bagley to be on the lookout.”
“Jason, you know I can’t stay here. My wedding is tomorrow.”
Slowly standing so that he loomed over her, he glared. “Your wedding isn’t important enough for either of us to risk our lives. Either you stay here, or you go on your own.”
She raised her chin a notch so she could level her gaze with his. “You’d risk your life for your job, but not me. Just like a typical Oakley resident. Can I at least use the radio and see if they can get in touch with Patrick? I’d really like to explain things to him, myself.”
“When I leave, go ahead. It’s up in the attic next to the window. It gets better reception up there. Feel free to check my closet for an extra shirt or a sweater. There’s no heat up there.”
With a silent nod, she watched him don his coat, scarf, hat, and gloves and leave without a backward glance.
* * * *
Jason hacked at the tree with his axe as hard as he could. His frustration level was through the roof, and he figured when he returned, he wouldn’t find Lizzie waiting there for him. She was stubborn enough to head out on her own…without shoes.
And if she did, well, he would let her. She didn’t have to know that the cabin was only a mile or so from town. She also didn’t have to know about that snowmobile parked in the wood shed. If she was determined to marry the rich doctor, then who was he—a lowly park ranger—to stop her? He wouldn’t deter her, but he certainly wouldn’t help her.
A few days ago, his life had been nice and predictable. Now he entertained thoughts of breaking up engagements and whisking his former fiancée away from her wedding.
But he wasn’t made that way. Every direction he turned it, he couldn’t make himself stop her if she was determined to go through with her marriage to another man. She knew her own heart, and maybe after all these years, she really was happy. Maybe what she said was the truth: When she left him seven years ago, she hadn’t looked back.
It hurt more than he wanted to admit, but wouldn’t let it turn him into someone he wasn’t. He’d kissed her and before things were over, he’d tell her how he felt. If that didn’t change her mind, he’d pretend to get over her like he had the first time.
When the tree finally fell into the snow with a quiet swoosh, he felt like it was his heart breaking in two.
Angrily, he chopped the tree up, ignoring the bitter cold. So much for Valentine’s Day and falling in love.
Even if she meant those delirious words she’d spoken during the few hours she was unconscious and she didn’t love this guy, he had to trust she would recognize her feelings and do the right thing. But if she was still in the cabin, he wouldn’t stop his original plan. She wouldn’t marry Patrick without knowing how he felt.
Seven years was a long time to be away from someone, and when he really thought about it, he didn’t know much about Lizzie anymore. She’d moved away in the middle of the night to some big city up north–Baltimore, last he’d heard–and made a life for herself without him.
Who was he to stop her now? Maybe marrying a rich doctor and living a mediocre life full of money was part of her plan.
But one old cliché remained true: Money couldn’t buy happiness.
* * * *
He’d been gone several hours and didn’t expect to find her sitting at the small kitchen table with a crossword puzzle when he returned.
His heart sped up at the sight of her brown eyes zeroing in on him when he walked through the door and shook off his boots.
“What’s a five letter word for high-maintenance?” she asked, tapping the pen against her chin.
“Women,” he mumbled. She shot him a look of annoyance but didn’t say anything. “Did you decide missing a few toes wouldn’t accessorize your wedding dress the way you wanted?”
“I radioed in and Sheriff Bagley was able to get Patrick on the line. He’s going to try to rent a snowmobile to come out here and pick me up.” She paused. “We’re still getting married,” she added softly. To Jason, it sounded like an apology.
Fed up with himself and the crazy rollercoaster of emotions, he turned his back to her as he removed his winter gear. He couldn’t look at her right now.
The chair she sat in creaked, and her soft footsteps padded across the room. She stood behind him, but he couldn’t turn to look at her. Not with the huge lump in his throat.
“Jason.” She laid a soft hand on his shoulder and the note of sympathy in her voice cracked his carefully controlled façade.
He whirled around to face her. “What do you want me to say? Congratulations? Or how about I think you’re making the biggest mistake of your life, besides running out on me to begin with? Would it change anything?”
She smiled sadly. “No.”
Those brown eyes penetrated his. He could see she wanted to believe herself by the stubborn tilt of her chin, but those eyes told a different story.
His control broke. The anger washed away, and sorrow filled its place. “What if I told you I wish things had been different for us? That maybe somehow I knew you would run, and I came after you and stopped you? Would that change anything?”
“We wanted different things, Jason. We still do. Marrying Patrick is the right thing for me to do. He understands me.”
But he understood her better. He’d practically grown up with her. “Do you love him?”
Her gaze left his for a moment. “I love him enough.”
“Why would you ever settle for anything less than what you deserve? Has city life jaded you so much?”
“Patrick and I have a lot in common. We love to read, discuss our jobs, take a morning run together. We both want to be married.”
“Sounds like a match made in heaven.” Jason reached out to take her hand and pull her into his arms. “Tell me you don’t think about me.”
“I don’t think about you.” She swallowed then licked her lips as her eyes riveted to his mouth.
“Tell me you really want to
marry Patrick.”
“I want to marry Patrick.”
“Tell me you don’t want to kiss me right now.” Before he thought twice, he swooped down, intent on showing her exactly what she was missing with good ole Patrick. But his lips met her cheek as she turned her head at the last second.
“I don’t kiss goats.”
Jason wasn't sure if he wanted to laugh until he cried or just cry. Maybe a little of both. How much longer would he torture himself?
For years now, he’d thought only of her smile, the way she challenged him when no one else could. How her brown eyes turned to melted chocolate when he held her. And he thought of that night she’d agreed to become his wife. The future he wanted to share with her was right in front of him, complete with a picket fence, minivan, and two point five children. But the night she left, his dreams had gone with her. He’d felt like only an empty shell since she’d been gone.
Clearing his throat, he released her and stepped away. “I got wood on the porch out there. I thought with it being close to Valentine’s Day and all, we could sit by the fire and enjoy some memories.”
She gave him a cautious smile as her eyes flew to the door. “Do you have hot chocolate?”
“Yup. I’ll bring the firewood in if you’ll get it started. Second cabinet on the right.” Without waiting for her to say another word, he walked outside without the protection of his gloves or hat. The cold seeped into his bones and reminded him that being numb was better than feeling.
In less than a single day, the woman he’d always loved would belong to someone else. Jason wasn’t sure what to do anymore.
Chapter Four
“I found some…” The words died on Liz’s lips as she came down the attic steps and Jason was nowhere in sight.
With a heave, she placed the cold box from the attic on the couch and opened it up. The smell of dust and old cardboard met her nose. Liz pulled the string of clear Christmas lights out. It would be pretty to have them on the mantle. Valentine’s Day was a hopeful holiday; she’d always loved to use it as an excuse to bring some color into a dull, gray wintery world. She wasn’t doing anything romantic for her and Jason. No, of course not. Decorating the cabin was strictly for her benefit.
My One True Love Page 2