“Forgive me. I was an idiot for believing I might convince you I was the better man. Male pride and all.”
“We could have avoided all this if you would have told me the truth! I might have chosen to stay.”
Jason smiled distantly. “Sure. Keep telling yourself that.”
“Oh, get off your pity pot. You lied to me.”
“You never asked. And I didn’t volunteer the information.”
“It’s called lying by omission.”
“It’s called doing what I thought was best to get you back.”
“How did it work out for you, Jason?” She propped her hands on her hips and angled her head.
He smiled and then looked away, back to the window pane. “You’re not married yet.”
Chapter Six
Dressed in white, with a veil tucked neatly in the chignon the local hair dresser had concocted, Liz stared at herself in the mirror. Tilting her head to the side, she eyed the dress more closely. The white satin bodice hugged her curves like a second skin. The capped sleeves cupped her shoulders and extended down her arms with sheer sleeves. A decorative sequined pattern lined the sweetheart neckline. She’d bought it back in Baltimore at a chic bridal boutique. Her friends, Heather and Mary, had come with her to pick it out a few months ago.
Funny how it didn’t even come close to representing who she was anymore.
A few days alone with the man who’d haunted her for so many years transformed her back into a country bumpkin. She’d rather wear Jason’s flannel shirt and long johns than this ridiculous get up. Or maybe…she wanted to be close to Jason, and wearing his clothes was almost as close as she could get. Almost. She blinked back tears. Why was this happening?
Heather and Mary stood in the corner, whispering to each other. They sensed the change in her. Their suspicious glances confirmed her inability to hide what had happened between her and Jason.
She turned to them and forced a smile, smoothing the front of her dress. “So what do you think of my hometown, girls?”
They exchanged glances. “Liz, are you okay?”
“I’m fine,” she insisted with a too-bright smile.
“Have you talked with Patrick? Did he tell you…?”
Mary elbowed Heather.
“What happened in that cabin?” Mary asked, taking a step closer, concern written all over her face. “It’s like you’re going through the motions, but your heart isn’t in it anymore.”
Liz shrugged. “Jason still loves me.” Maybe talking about it with her friends would help her sort out her feelings.
Both of them gave dainty gasps. “Did he say that?” Mary asked.
“Yes.”
“What did you say?” Heather grasped Liz’s hand and tugged.
“The only thing I could say. I still love him, too.”
This time both girls remained silent. Heather recovered first. “Look, Liz, I don’t think a couple of days in a cabin with your ex constitutes love. Talk to Patrick."
Liz narrowed her eyes and tried not to get her back up. “Patrick doesn’t need to know anything. I don’t want to hurt him. Jason and I made our choice. There’s nothing left for us anymore. Jason's my past, Patrick’s my future.”
“Why are you going through with the wedding?” Heather asked quietly.
She turned away. It was the very question she’d asked herself all morning. She and Patrick had been dating for over three years. He was perfect spouse material, and she really did love him.
Just not the way she should.
“I don’t know,” she said honestly. “Patrick understands my need to prove myself through my career. I’ve never had to justify myself to him. I can be myself.”
Her friends seemed at a loss for words. She knew the feeling.
“Maybe we should give you some time alone?” Heather ushered Mary to the door. “We’ll be right outside if you need us, but you really need to think this through, Liz. What if you find out Patrick isn’t the man you think he is?” The two women hurried through as if running away from her.
Before the words of her bridesmaids registered, the click of the closing door sounded like gunfire, and Liz gave a slight jump. What did that mean? Why wouldn't Patrick be anyone but who she'd always known he was? And why was she so conflicted?
A few days ago, things had been easy. If only she hadn’t headed up to the mountain to put Jason behind her, she wouldn’t be in this situation. She’d been after some sort of closure, some sort of finality with the situation with Jason. But it hadn’t happened. Instead, she’d been thrown feet first into an avalanche and head first back into his life.
Her cell phone rang, bringing her out of her reverie. She didn’t recognize the number, but she answered anyway.
“Hello?”
“Still gettin’ hitched?” Jason asked on the other end.
“Jason…” She hated the way her heart leaped into her throat at the sound of his voice. She couldn’t remember one time she’d felt more than companionship with Patrick.
“Are you still getting married, Liz? Answer me.”
“Y...yes, Jason. There’s nothing left for us. I don’t want to live here now, any more than I did then.”
“There might be something in your room to change your mind.”
Her phone signaled the end of the call and with a grunt of frustration, she put it back on the table.
Looking around the room, she tried to locate anything out of the ordinary. She’d been crammed in this room all day and hadn’t noticed anything familiar other than the things she’d brought.
A bouquet of red roses and baby’s breath lay on the table next to the door, ready to precede her down the aisle. Her wedding shoes were exactly in front of the fireplace, where she put them earlier. All the figurines on the mantle were unfamiliar.
Moving over to the mantle, she picked up the figurine with wings. It was a typical cupid, holding a bow and arrow. At the end of the arrow was a star instead of a heart. As she turned it over, a frown pulled her lips down. An inscription was handwritten vertically along the angel’s legs.
My wish came true, too.
The gentle eyes on the cupid seemed to stare straight through her. Suddenly, the tale Jason told her of the fallen star came to mind. Trailing a finger over Cupid’s delicate wings, Liz smiled.
Not even a Valentine’s Day wish answered by Cupid himself could keep the doubts away.
Gingerly, she replaced Cupid on the mantle and turned. The table in the corner shone brightly with decorative white lights and tulle. The vision blurred as tears stung her eyelids. A single blink cleared her sight and a tear streaked down her cheek. She swiped at it before it could ruin her makeup.
She studied the table again and saw it.
A faint cry escaped her throat and she ran as quickly as her dress would allow and plucked the miniature off the tabletop.
A tiny, sparkling gazebo decorated in roses had been placed near the back. Her cell phone rang again. She reached over and snatched it up. Before she could say anything, Jason’s voice reverberated in her ear.
“I’m going to haunt you forever if you marry him.”
Despite her inner turmoil, she couldn’t help but grin. “How did you get in here, Jason?”
“I didn’t, Cupid did."
Taking a deep breath, Liz gathered her courage to end the ridiculous façade. “Stop calling me. In about five minutes, I’ll be walking down the aisle.”
“But it’ll be me you want standing at the end. Not Patrick.”
“The cabin was a mistake. I think the concussion was worse than we first believed. It made me act like an idiot.”
“You’re still acting like an idiot, Lizzie. Now what’s your excuse?”
Leave it to Jason to give it to her straight. Had Patrick ever been so honest with her?
“I’m hanging up now,” she warned.
“There’s one more thing for you, but I suspect you won’t find it before you walk down the aisle. Remember one thing fo
r me, okay?” His voice had turned soft, and Liz closed her eyes against the warmth and familiarity of it.
“What’s that?”
“I love you. I always have, and I always will.”
“Don't ask me to choose, Jason. Please. I love you, but I can't come back here." It would kill her. She'd dry up here. She couldn't be like her mother, unfulfilled and careworn. She had her life. She had her job. And…she had Patrick to make it all work, even if she didn't love him the same way she'd always love Jason.
“You'll never love him the same way you love me."
Liz fell silent for a few moments. “You don't know that.”
“No, I don’t. You left me before because you wanted more than I could give you. Now you’re doing it again. All I’ve ever wanted is you, Lizzie. I’ve never cared where or how or even why.”
It wasn’t worth it to start the argument all over again. She hung up the phone without saying goodbye.
Chapter Seven
Jason was pretty certain he’d lost Lizzie again. Well, when he was honest with himself, he’d never really had her. The few kisses they’d shared seemed more like a dream now than reality.
Surprisingly, the gifts he’d left behind for her to find hadn’t seemed to reach her the way he'd hoped. But there was still one she hadn’t seen yet. He’d left that one for last, hidden in her bouquet. If she still married Patrick after seeing it, he’d know for sure whatever they might have had was over; that those passing moments in the cabin with her were folly.
After so many years of living without her, the taste of her still lingered on his lips. How could he sit back and watch her make such a mistake?
Was it a mistake? He’d lived his whole life loving her, and at each turn she’d walked away from him without batting an eyelash. Didn’t he deserve more than that?
The answer was a resounding "yes", but it didn’t change the fact he’d always love Lizzie no matter what. Knowing another man stood at the end of the aisle watching her walking toward him, creating the memory Jason had only envisioned over the years, curled his insides into knots.
He could go to her, stop the wedding and force her to see reason but what guarantee would he have that she wouldn’t run again? Fool him once, shame on him…but twice?
A knock at the cabin door sounded, and he knew without answering who it was. His little sister was always there when he needed a friend.
“Hi Shelley,” he greeted as he opened the door. She stood there looking so much like his mother he couldn’t help but feel another sharp pang of loneliness. He’d missed his parents since they drove to Florida for the winter.
Shelley’s dark hair fell around her shoulders and her green eyes bore into him.
“Hey. I wanted to make sure you were still here. I was afraid you’d be stupid enough to try and stop Liz’s wedding.” She stepped around him to move to the couch.
“The thought crossed my mind, but no. It’s Lizzie’s decision, not mine. I’ve done all I can.” Jason closed the door.
Shelley plumped the throw pillows, a little more vigorously than was necessary. “You’re too good for her anyway.”
“Shells…” he warned, but he was too tired to stop what he knew was coming.
“She walked out on you, Jason. I’ve watched you mope around for years because you can’t be happy without her. You need to put her behind you and move on.” Shelley plopped down on the couch and took a sip from his coffee cup.
Cocking his eyebrow, he shook his head. “Seriously, Shelley. I know you’re worried about me, but I’ll be fine. You can stop the mother hen act.”
“I love you, Jason. I want to see you happy. Liz Henley only makes you miserable.”
“Not true. I’ve never been as happy as I am when I’m with her.”
Standing, Shelley tossed her hair over her shoulder in habit that had been hers since childhood. “Then it’s time to redefine happiness, brother.”
When Jason didn’t say anything, she shook her head and walked to the door. “Are you sure you’re going to make it?”
“Yes. I’ll be fine.” But Jason didn’t trust his own words. He felt like crawling underneath a rock and rolling into the fetal position. Hating how weak and emasculated he suddenly felt, he grabbed the ax laying next to the door. Chopping firewood would help. “Where are you headed all dressed up?” He walked Shelley to the door and opened it for her.
When she didn’t answer him, he sighed. “Gotta go with Zeke so he can cover it for the paper, huh?”
“Yeah. I’m sorry, Jason.”
“Don’t be. I brought it on myself. I should have just left her in the snow.”
Shelley gave a derisive snort and hugged him. “Hang in there. I’ll check on you afterward.”
He didn’t need her to define “afterward” to know what she was referring to.
* * * *
Liz was brought out of her deep thoughts when the doorknob of the dressing room turned.
Her mother walked through the door and smiled sheepishly. Liz hadn’t seen her much since her return to Oakley. Jason was right. Her mother’s cheeks were pink, and there was a light in her eyes she’d never noticed during her visits to Baltimore. Liz made a mental note to ask her about it when she returned from her honeymoon.
“Mom? I thought you were in the vestibule, greeting guests.” Liz rushed forward and embraced her.
“You look beautiful, honey,” she cooed.
Liz studied her. Her dark hair had a few sprinkles of gray in it but was otherwise still the mousey brown Liz had always known it to be. But on her mother, it was stunning. Her brown eyes shined with tears, and her smile trembled.
“Mom, don’t cry.”
“I can’t help it.”
“I know you’re happy for me, but—”
“No, Liz. You’re wrong.”
The words stopped Liz short. “What?”
“I know you’ve always thought I was a nobody here in Oakley.”
“What? Mom, did Jason put you up to this?” Her stomach dropped, and her heart thudded. How could her mother have known what she thought about her? And why approach her about it now?
She held her hands up to silence Liz. “Listen to me.”
“Okay.” Liz sat down on the edge of the couch, and her mother joined her.
“The truth is, Liz, after your father died, I stopped living. I was depressed, and it was hard for me to watch you grow up without your father. You two were always so close.”
Liz remembered the lonely years after her father’s death, but she’d long since moved past them.
“I never meant for you to think I wasn’t happy here, or that my job at the mill wasn’t enough. I’ve made wonderful friends with my co-workers there. That place may be the only job I’ve ever had and yes, it’s tedious work, but it’s not as bad as you think it is. Oakley is a wonderful community, and if I could do it all over again, I wouldn’t change a thing.”
“It’s not what I want for my life, Mom.”
“Because of me. You only saw my sadness, and you equated that with my job and my life. But in reality, it was because I missed your father.”
“I don’t understand why you’re telling me this now.”
“Because I know you were with Jason at the cabin. That boy has loved you since the day you two met. And he’s part of the reason I never stopped hoping I’d fall in love again. I saw how much he loved you.”
“Mom…”
“Don’t throw it away because you think you’ve done better for yourself up north. A career can only go so far. You and Patrick seem happy, but I raised you, Liz. I can see that happiness only goes so deep. Once you’re married, that’s it. You’ve made the final choice. I want you to ask yourself one question: Does Patrick make you as happy as Jason does?”
With those final words, her mother kissed her cheek and squeezed her hand before standing.
“Oh, and before I forget, Heather asked me to give you this.” She held out a single sheet of paper.
&
nbsp; “Heather?” Heather had just been in here. Why hadn’t she said whatever it was on the paper instead of writing it down?
Unfolding the paper and reading the words in Heather’s trademark scrawl, Liz frowned.
Patrick came on to me while you were away. He’s not who you think he is.
Chapter Eight
Patrick stood at the end of the aisle as Liz walked toward him. His smile was wide with happiness.
He was so handsome; one of those men with classic good looks. Sandy blonde hair fell over his brow, and his green eyes watched her with an intensity she’d always appreciated. With him, she was the center of his world.
As she neared, she adjusted her bouquet. She smiled back at her fiancé, ignoring the sick feeling in her gut. Dread was not something she was supposed to be feeling at that particular moment.
The music died down, and the preacher cleared his throat. Before he said anything, Liz reached a finger up and gingerly traced Patrick's jaw. She tried to provoke an emotion, any emotion to tell her she was doing the right thing. Nothing but the same, dark emptiness she’d felt since leaving Jason remained.
While she touched him, Patrick's gaze darted over to Heather and Mary. She caught a subtle shake of Mary’s head as she made eye contact with him. Heather’s eyebrows furrowed, and a frown marred Mary’s lips. Looking back to her groom, the truth smacked her with the force of a hurricane. Heather and Mary’s warnings. The letter. A lot could happen in the few days she had been away at the cabin with Jason. Had her fiancé made a move on Heather?
Even those revelations didn’t come close to the one her mother had given her. Her mother was happy in this little town. Couldn’t she be, too?
Patrick's gaze pleaded with her to understand. How could she not? Hadn’t she been making out with Jason and told him that she still loved him? Patrick knew even though she’d never really told him about Jason, yet he still stood there, ready to commit. Could she really hold it against him? Yes and no.
The preacher began the ceremony, and Liz looked down at her bouquet. Her life was such a mess.
For years, Heather and Liz had been inseparable. They shopped together, had lunch together, even worked at the same investment firm.
My One True Love Page 4