by Oakes, Tara
His breathing is erratic, fierce almost, as I deliver to him the pleasure that he afforded me last night. His body is now familiar to me, every plane, every crease, memorized and committed to memory.
My moisture is soaking him both where I straddle him and where I devour him. The most natural and carnal of it mingling with the fragrances from the perennials around us. It’s intoxicating, mixing with his own musk, and inebriating my senses.
I lift my lips, gasping for air from the entirety that was his member. His strong capable hands take hold of my sides, lifting me to rest further upon him, setting me down to rest on the roundness of his manhood.
My breath hitches. The unrecovered area of my body is still reeling from its last encounter with his impressive length. I whisper a muted moan as the flesh joins with his, recognizing its mate.
It takes an eternity to claim the entirety of him, but it’s done, connecting us as if we had never parted last night. His movements are thoughtful, ever mindful of my limits as we stir.
Every muscle engages itself to match his. Every sound I make answers his own. What could be more natural than this? He is my man. I am his woman.
We are one with the blessings of nature around us.
We are one.
CHAPTER TWELVE
A swooping bird flies overhead, followed by a flock of followers. The white fluffy clouds string themselves into morphing shapes above as I watch and task myself with the mindless deciphering of them.
We’re silent. We’ve been silent for some time now, just holding onto each other and reveling in the moment.
The blinding brightness has since dimmed, a cool dull light taking its place. I’ve lost track of the hour, he probably has too. The warmth of our exhausted bodies is sufficient enough to keep the cooling breeze at bay, but it is surely a sign of the passing day.
A loud gurgling growl interrupts the peaceful little place we’ve built for ourselves.
“You did not just hear that. Swear to me you’ll pretend it didn’t happen,” I beg.
He laughs. “How is it a tiny little thing like you is capable of that kind of hunger?” He rolls me over, my hair threading through the flattened grass.
“I didn’t eat much today. Swear to me we’ll pretend it didn’t happen.” I repeat my request.
He places his flattened hand on my belly. I can feel the grumbling once more, this time vibrating through his own flesh on top of mine.
“The only thing I’m gonna swear to is that I’m going to feed you. But I reserve the right to make jokes about this in the future.”
I roll my eyes. Agh! He’s not supposed to hear things like belly grumbles. Not yet anyway. He’s supposed to think I wake up fully refreshed and never burp and never need makeup because I’m always glowing.
“Come on,”he pushes himself up and holds out his hand to help me rise. I take it and feel the blades of grass sticking to my skin as I peel off the ground.“How ‘bout I cook for you? I have some steaks back at the house. I can work a grill better than anyone.”
We shuffle through the trail of clothes, sorting through the fabric to dress ourselves. “I’ll bet you do a lot of things better than anyone,” I joke. He eyes me and I suddenly realize how my words could have been taken. “I-- I mea-”
He pulls me close to him. “We kind of got sidetracked last night after your dream. We didn’t have a chance to really… talk about other things. I know that was your first, I’m your first, your only, God willing. I want you to know it was the most wonderful thing anyone’s ever given me.”
He had never flat out asked me about my past, my history. I’m sure through little hints here and there, and my obvious lack of experience, he’s been able to verify any questions he had about my innocence.
He kisses the tip of my nose. “Let’s get home and get to those steaks. We can go to the tree later tonight.”
~*~
Moose whines from his place under the table.
“No begging, boy,” Will reprimands his dog.
I carefully select a small piece of meat from my plate and sneak it down to where my furry friend is not-so-patiently waiting. He takes it heartily and I pat his head as he chews.
Will laughs, rolls his eyes and then sets them on me.“He already loves you. You don’t have to bribe him.”
I put on my best little girl voice. “He’s hungry.”
“According to his last checkup, he’s obese. No more table scraps.”
It’s as if Moose understands Will’s words. He gets up from his place by my feet and sulks away into the corner of the yard near the garden where he proceeds to chew a large stick.
My host then proceeds to replenish my wine glass with some more Merlot.“How was it?”
I widen my eyes and nod enthusiastically. “Really good! I especially liked the part where you almost burned your eyebrows off. You’re a cook and an entertainer.”
He laughs. “The grill’s a little funny with propane settings. That’s all right, though. It gets the job done.”
It certainly did. That was hands down the best steak I’ve had in as long as I can remember. I sip on my wine, reclining back in my chair. Will’s backyard is large but most of it is just open land. A small section of it is fenced-in and maintained with a garden and a nice stone patio. There’s a fire pit burning nearby, keeping the bugs from making meals of us as we sit at the outdoor table and finish the remnants of our feast.
“How far do we have to go to get to the tree? Is it near the memorial?” I find myself asking.
He shakes his head. “No. It’s on the other side of town. The memorial’s near the Burying Pointe graveyard, because that was the proper place for it to be. But the graveyard is sacred ground. The… the sentences weren’t carried out near hallowed land. It would have been considered a desecration.” I can hear him nearly choking on his words, becoming angry at them.
“The hangings were done outside of the old city limits. Almost no one knows the location of the actual hanging tree besides a few of us. It’s long been forgotten by historians and record keepers. And that’s the way it should be. They have their little stone memorial that makes them feel atoned and forgiven. The actual place, the physical tree… that’s the real memorial. It’s not going to become another damn tourist attraction and photo op.”
There it is again. The passion for all things original and old.
Moose jumps up, abandoning his stick and runs to the back door, barking with his hackles raised. We eye each other. Moose’s barks now turn to vicious growls, snarling and dripping.
Will holds his hand up telling me to stay seated as he stands and cautiously moves toward the house. “Stay by Leah, boy,”he commands the dog.
Like a well-trained police or service dog, Moose instantly runs to my side, blocking me and serving as barrier for whatever he is sensing. Will disappears into the house and I find myself holding my breath waiting for his return.
I lower my hand to stroke Moose, to calm him, but he’s not a pet in this moment. He’s an animal honing his natural protective instincts. I hear voices from within the house. The backdoor opens and Liza appears, followed by Will.
They both look concerned.
“Babe, I have to take a ride. The construction site’s been vandalized. I’ve gotta go see how bad this is. Won’t be more than an hour or so. Can you stay and wait for me? I don’t know if the foundation or the structure’s been compromised. I don’t want to take the chance and bring you there if it’s not safe.”
I watch Liza as Will speaks to me, letting my womanly intuition take control and guide me. “Sure. I’ll wait here. Call and let me know everything’s okay, though.”
I see the smallest of hidden smiles reveal itself on her stained lips. I’ve put myself right in the palm of her hand. Right where she wants me.
Will leans forward and kisses me quickly. “I won’t be long, I swear. Liza will stay and keep you company.”
Ha! I’ll bet she will.
“Be safe.” I te
ll him.
He briskly moves into the house to gather his things before I hear the engine of his truck roar to life from over the fence. Moose inches closer to me, more than happy to attack on command if need be.
Liza smiles. She takes a seat in Will’s abandoned chair and drinks from his wine goblet, savoring the fruity drink.
“There wasn’t anything wrong at the work site, was there?” I ask her.
She laughs to herself. “You are a bright girl, now aren’t you?”
“So what’s all this really about, Liza?”
Her eyes are like a light colored stone. Hard. Set on me. “Time for another chat, since you don’t seem to take a hint.”
“What do you want, Liza?”
She sips on the wine some more. “For you to leave. To leave Will alone. Go home and never come back.”
I purse my lips and nod.“Well, at least you’re up front. Is that so you can have him all to yourself?”
She laughs to herself. “You don’t know the half of it. Will and I share something special. Something you can never understand.”
“I’ve heard. It seems you two go waay back.” Could it really be true? Is Liza about to validate Will’s story? Is that what they share?
Her eyes are shooting daggers right now. “I’ve been there for him. I’m the one who helped pick up the pieces after he had his breakdown. When I met him, he couldn’t function, couldn’t take care of himself… I was the one who did his laundry, cooked his meals and helped him gain the confidence to start his business. I’m not going to let some nitwit who coincidentally has the same name as his dead wife come in here and stir things up again. He’d finally moved on, accepted that she’s gone and not coming back. Then you show up and throw him back into a tailspin. If you cared for him at all, you’d realize he’s not well and you’d leave before you do real harm to his mental state.”
“What if he’s not ill? What if he’s telling the truth and it scares the crap out of you that you’re no longer the only woman in his life?” I question her.
I can see her biting her lip, see it blanching. “The truth? Don’t tell me you believe his delusions?”
“Maybe. And what if I do?”So much for her validating his story.
“Look. I don’t know what’s wrong with you. Maybe you’re a little screwed up in the head yourself.”
She has no idea how hard her words hit, feeding into the insecurities my nightmares have instilled since childhood.
“You are not his long-lost, reincarnated wife. I am not a witch reborn. And we are most definitely notsisters. I mean, think about it, Leah. If I was some powerful sorceress, then why wouldn’t I just put some kind of hex on you to make you go away? Because I can’t. There’s no such thing as magic.”
I don’t know how to respond to her. She’s saying all the things my deepest doubts have been screaming to me for days.
“Listen, Leah, this is nothing personal. He wants you to be her so badly that he’s convinced himself through some crazy story that it could be real. What’s worse…he’s convinced you, too.”
Could she be right? Am I so blinded by how I feel for him that I’m willing to lose all sense of reason and believe in fairy tales?
I try to defend myself the best I can against her reasoning.“I think my relationship with Will is between he and I.”
She doesn’t let up. “Did he tell you about the tree yet? Try and get you to go there?”
Damn! This girl knows everything, doesn’t she? It’s either because he’s told her all about his desperate fantasy or it’s because she knows firsthand from being a part of it. I try to read her but she has one intense poker face. She gives nothing away.
“We’re going there later tonight. I guess we’ll find out who’s telling the truth then, won’t we?”
“When nothing happens, and you realize that I’m telling you the truth, that he’s only projecting onto you, you know you can’t stay here. If you need to take it that far, and bring this all the way to that level where you embarrass him and run the risk of fracturing whatever sanity he has left, then by all means, go ahead. Or if you have some compassion, then I beg you. Leave now. Save the both of you the heartache and just go. I’ll pick up the pieces. I always do.”
I stand, pushing the heavy wooden patio chair back with alarm. “I think it’s time you leave. I’ll tell Will you had some sort of emergency. He’ll understand.”
It takes her a moment, but she does eventually stand. “I guess you’re just gonna have to learn the hard way.”
~*~
The rumbling of Will’s truck shakes the dishes drying in the dish rack near the sink. I remember from my time in the front set of the truck, pulling up to this house, that Moose likes to position himself in front of the great window to see the first glimpse of his master that he can. But, tonight, he remains on my lap, resting, hovering in and out of sleep as I stroke his ears.
The car door closes, and I can mentally count his steps until he’s reached the door, entering to join me in the living room. He looks tired, as if the many trips around this town are finally catching up with him.
“How bad was it?” I ask him. I already know the answer thanks to Liza’s own admissions.
He shakes his head, quickly kicking out of his work boots.“Nothing there besides a few empty beer cans and some cigarette butts. Liza was driving past the place and saw the kids, but I guess they got spooked and took off before they did any real damage.”
That’s one way of looking at it.
The other, and the way I happen to see it, is that his workers had an extended lunch break today while he was MIA that included some brews and a smoke and didn’t clean up after themselves.
“Well, that’s good, I guess.” Moose shifts his head to raise his eyes up to Will as he approaches us.
Will plops down besides us, disturbing the dog enough to earn a hearty growl of discontent.
“Liza take off already?”
I hold my breath. “She did.”
He watches me with curious skepticism. “You two didn’t hit it off, did you?”
I laugh. “That’s an understatement. Let’s put it this way, if what you say is true... and she’s my twin, then I can totally believe what you said about us not getting along back then. And, I can see how you’d be part of the reason.”
He’s taken back by my words.
“She’s in love with you.”
Will shakes his head in denial. “She may have had feelings for me back then, but she’s grown up a lot from that spoiled, selfish girl. I’m telling you, she’s just a great friend. A sister-in-law. She knows we can be nothing more than that.”
I roll my eyes. “I’m not so sure I agree with you on that one. She asked me to skip town. To leave you to your grieving so you can find some way to get on with your life. Maybe she has a point.”
He breathes deeply, not liking my words. “She’s not as positive as I am about who you are. She has her doubts. Regardless, though, she has no right to say those things to you.”
He’s apologetic and pissed at the same time.
“So you two have talked about all this. Talked about me?”I don’t like it one bit.
Moose looks up at the two of us, back and forth between Will and me. He’s decided he’s had enough of us and slinks off the cushioned sofa to his favorite spot in front of the unlit fireplace.
“And what exactly do you two talk about when you’re discussing me behind my back?” I probably should have tried to hold back the little bite to my words, because it takes him off guard.
“Leah! It’s not like that. She had a right to know.” He’s raising his own voice now, defending himself. Or is it Liza he’s defending?
I stand. “Well, why don’t I just leave it to you two to figure this all out and just tell me who to be or who not to be!”
I’m surprised at the jealous rage burning down deep.
“You’re blowing this out of proportion. Baby! Relax!”He stands now, too.
“Am I?” I move about, releasing my frustrations. “I don’t think I am. I’ve got little Miss Crazy Eyes bitching me out every chance she can. And then you defend her!”
He carefully takes hold of my shoulders, putting an end to my pacing. “Leah. I’m not defending her. I’m not taking her side. It’s you I’m looking out for.” His words give me reason to pause. “You two have always had your issues. There’s going to come a point when you’ll have to face them head on. The both of you. I’ve made myself clear to her. She knows I’m your man, that you’re my wife. And soon you’ll know it, too. As soon as we get you to the tree, both of you will be able to accept the truth.”
He pulls me in close. He’s my man. I’m his wife. I feel dizzy. This is too much for me. I go from avoiding getting anywhere near serious with men, to falling head over heels for a one who’s ready to take me as his wife after just a few days.
The sick part is, I’m actually contemplating it myself.
“I can’t do it. I can’t go there now, Will. Tomorrow. Let’s go tomorrow.”
What is it that I’m postponing? The fulfillment of some preordained destiny or heartbreaking disappointment?
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
“Tell me more about your life,” I ask with my sleepy voice.
I can feel Will’s chest rise and fall beneath me, hot as his body temperature is raised with us lingering in each other’s arms. The evening has come and gone eventfully with Liza’s visit and it’s left me drained. I find my mind working overtime sorting through the pros and cons of the complicated relationship I’ve entered. I camouflage it well with endless questions to avoid any silence.
“There’s not much to tell. My family was one of the earliest in Salem, we-”
I interrupt him. “Not that one. Your family now.”
He buries his chin in my hair. “Even less to tell for them. My dad took off when I was two. Mom bounced around from guy to guy for a while until she met the last one. Let’s just say he and I didn’t see eye to eye on how he should be treating her. He didn’t exactly appreciate the criticismand made mom choose. I did her a favor and took myself out of the equation by skipping town.”