She flattened her palms against his chest. “Yes,” she whispered. “How did you know I would?”
“I took a chance. Do you want me to do it more often?”
She didn’t hesitate. “Yes.”
“Maybe tonight?”
She nodded, the prospect leaving her unable to speak.
Jack kissed her cheek. “How about right now?”
*****
“Sweetheart, we’re about to land.” Her husband’s voice jerked her awake.
Caroline rubbed her eyes. “What?”
“The plane is starting to descend. Thought it was time for you to wake up.” He grinned at her. “Have a nice nap?”
Oh, boy. “Please tell me I wasn’t talking in my sleep.”
“You weren’t.” He was wearing khaki pants, a corduroy jacket, and an Oxford shirt. With his neatly trimmed beard and glasses, he looked like a mild mannered college professor. A very sexy mild mannered college professor. She resisted the urge to lick her lips.
“I had a hell of a dream,” she said. “I don’t know if it’s safe to tell you here.”
“Try me.”
That night had been the beginning of a very memorable summer. She whispered softly in his ear. “I was remembering the first time you spanked me. Do you remember that, Jack? You woke me up right before the good stuff.”
“My God, woman.” He tugged at his collar. “What was the good stuff?”
“You spanked me and left me tied to the bed when you made a fundraising call. One hell of an initiation into our life of sinful sexual decadence.”
“Your flight was clearly more interesting than mine.”
Apparently so. A few briefing books were stuffed in the seat pocket in front of him. “My stream of consciousness works in mysterious ways.”
He shifted in his seat. “You do have the most fascinating dreams.”
Caroline hadn’t anticipated it, but wasn’t going to complain. Reminiscing over past achievements was much better than calculating airspeed and travel time. “Darling, try to get yourself back together before we deplane,” she said.
“I definitely shouldn’t stand up yet.” Jack chuckled, amused by her revelation. “What a great night. I was a little terrified you were going to destroy the headboard after I left the room.”
“I almost did.”
“I figured you’d either want to cut my balls off or let me fuck your brains out. I’m very glad you went with the latter.”
“Don’t think I didn’t consider the former when you were out of the room. Jerk.”
“I knew if you were still turned on after I left, we’d be in for a very interesting weekend.”
Interesting was putting it mildly. “We’ve had much more than just one weekend of that sort of thing.”
He kissed the back of her hand. “I haven’t forgotten.”
The tranquilizer was fading, but Caroline remained relatively calm. Compartmentalization had its merits. “Let’s keep this trip as positive as we can, okay?”
Jack put his arm around her, knowing she hated landings. “Absolutely.”
*****
An uneventful drive from Amsterdam to The Hague and a security briefing later, they arrived at their hotel. They had three protective squads – Crunch, Jones, and Gig in one room, the CBI agents, and two U.N. Peacekeepers flown in to escort them to their appointments for the week. They had a driver available twenty-four hours a day, but were encouraged to stay as low profile as possible.
Jack slid the key card into the door. Caroline gasped. “Look at this place. King size bed. Very nice.”
He tossed his toiletry bag on the chair in the corner. “Appears to be a normal hotel room to me.”
It was still a little fancier than usual. “They must have heard about how pretentious you are.”
“Hey, now. I’ve been bunked up in a sardine can for the last two years. You think I don’t know upscale when I see it? I lived in European hotel rooms for years, remember?”
That had slipped her mind. “You must have stayed in nicer places than I did in college.”
“Ah, yes. I forgot. You found yourself and explored your deepest innermost thoughts during a mandatory backpack from Belgium to France to Italy.”
She smacked his arm. “Don’t be mean. That was the best trip of my life.”
“Probably because of all the pot you smoked.”
“Probably because I was by myself,” she retorted.
He hugged her. “Do you wish you were alone now?”
“Not a chance.” Caroline flung open the curtains. “Oh look, a balcony! There’s a great view of…the parking lot,” she said. “All right. Maybe the view isn’t so hot. But this room is awesome.” She ran around, opening drawers, examining all the items on the shelves and desk.
Jack smiled warmly. “It’s like you think we’re on vacation.”
She’d take the whimsical moments when they came. Perhaps someday they’d last. “You said to be positive, right?”
He sat down on the bed, taking off his shoes. “Fair enough. Carry on, my intrepid explorer.”
Caroline giggled when she got into the bathroom, returning to Jack with a small basket in her hands. It was full of lube, condoms, and other sundries. “This must be a hotel for sex fiends.”
“The Dutch are an enlightened people. Maybe the folks at the criminal court did their research before booking us a room.”
She set the basket down on the nightstand and settled in beside him on the bed. “You’re quite droll.”
Jack wrapped his arm around her. “Want to use any of that stuff tonight?”
When she was still having vivid flashbacks to her dream on the plane? “You bet.”
“Really?”
“Why not?”
“I just – I wasn’t sure you’d be up for that anymore.”
They’d played around. Tested some boundaries. Nothing close to what they’d done before. She missed it. She didn’t need a dream to remind her, either. She just had to find a way to remind him. And she could start with a kiss. Or three.
Jack bit her lip. “I like the mood you’re in.”
“We don’t have to go out,” she murmured. “We could stay here.”
“And have you wear fatigues to the ICC tomorrow? Not a chance.” He kissed her. “I’m going to take you shopping, then dinner. Then…we’re going to pick up exactly where we left off.”
*****
Her feet hurt. Caroline was used to running and walking long distances but hell, they’d just flown five thousand miles and she had some serious muscle fatigue. And they’d been shopping for at least two hours. “I assumed you’d let me nap before running me ragged across various shops and restaurants,” she said.
“You slept on the plane. I’m happy to let you rest once we’re done picking out clothes. Maybe I can join your bodyguards out on the town.”
“Our bodyguards,” Caroline corrected. “And you’re stuck with me all night.”
“I guess that’s an acceptable option.”
To be fair, there weren’t a lot of available dating prospects on the rebel base. She could hardly fault the guys for exploring the area. “Probably wouldn’t hurt for them to unwind before we head to the ICC tomorrow.”
“Probably not.” Jack held up a black dress. “Wouldn’t hurt for you to loosen up, either.”
Long sleeves, high cut neck. Perfect for hiding any scars she might feel self-conscious about. Silky and satiny enough to be flattering as hell. “Is a sexy outfit part of the plan?”
“As long as I get laid, I don’t much care.”
What a one-track mind. She grabbed the dress out of his hands. “Sex is always on the table but I want the pretty clothes, thank you.”
Jack pointed at a garter belt. “Care to complete the outfit?”
Screw her sore feet. Classy shoes made her feel dignified, even graceful. “Only if we can find a pair of red patents.”
“Deal,” he said. “Let’s add this to our pile of p
urchases and get going.”
Chapter Five
Caroline wore the black dress and red patents to dinner. Local fare, not exactly black tie but certainly ritzy. She’d splurged on some makeup and perfume. Weird to put it on after two years of going au naturel, but when finished she didn’t look half bad.
She and Jack avoided discussing sensitive topics during their meal and the car ride back to the hotel. No talk of her testimony or the unease they both had going out in public, and they neatly sidestepped anything regarding the basket of marital aids waiting for them at the hotel.
“Well,” Caroline said, sitting in the chair across from the bed and slipping off her shoes. She hadn’t worn them in years and would have to walk extra slowly the next day to get acclimated to them again. Funny how she could handle a twenty mile hike in boots but a short jaunt in nylons and heels could put her down for the count.
“Well,” Jack repeated.
Weren’t they awkward. “Dinner was nice.”
He eyed her dress. “Indeed.”
“Got any plans for tonight?”
“Sweetheart, stop practicing avoidance. What do you want to talk about?”
“You didn’t bring it up either.”
“I assumed you would. You’re the one who mentioned it to begin with.”
His mere presence could intimidate her almost as much as it could intrigue her. “You were hesitant. I didn’t-”
Jack knelt on the floor in front of her chair. “Caroline, I was letting you take the lead. I want you to be comfortable. What makes this environment different than California?”
“We’ve done a lot of kinky shit in hotel rooms.”
That drew a smile. “Indeed we have, both separately and together. And we don’t have to do anything you don’t want.”
Familiar words. “I know.”
Jack must have heard the indecision in her voice, because he stood up and leaned toward her ear. “Don’t be afraid.”
Caroline kissed him. “I want you,” she whispered.
He led her to the bed, pressing against her back, putting his arm around her waist. “Tell me what you want me to do.”
He was safe. They were safe. They had security everywhere, they were nice and warm and relatively free, and he would listen to her. Respect her needs. Maybe he wasn’t as reluctant to play as she’d assumed. Caroline rubbed his arm, desperate for him to touch her but embarrassed to tell him what she really wanted. What if he said no? “I-”
“If you want me to take the lead, I will.”
How considerate of him to ask. He usually did it anyway but he was so good at knowing when she needed reassurance. “Please.”
He bit her neck. “Do you want to play, Caroline?”
Oh, fuck. He’d gone ahead and said those words. Even if she didn’t literally go weak at the knees, she metaphorically melted in his arms. “Yes,” she said softly.
Jack kissed the back of her head. “Two rules to add to our old ones. First, if anything comes close to triggering something, you know what to do to tell me to back off. If I sense you’re close I’m going to stop regardless. And second, I get to remove your dress.”
Caroline laughed. “Okay.”
“Turn around,” he said. “Did you like wearing this?”
She nodded.
“You needn’t hide your scars while we’re here.”
It had been a consideration. Her blouses had long sleeves, her skirts hit at the knee, her jacket sleeves completely covered the physical reminders of her torture. She needed to have the power to reveal them if and when she chose. “I don’t hide them in front of you.”
“And you shouldn’t.” He unzipped her dress and slid it down her arms. It pooled at her feet. “You looked beautiful tonight. But you always do. We’re taking every last thing we bought back to California.” He spun her back around, pinching her chin between his thumb and forefinger. “Take off the rest of your clothes,” he ordered. “Slowly.”
Oh, he was definitely into this. “Even the garters?” she asked.
“You know better.” When she had stripped down, Jack came toward her. “Spin around for me,” he said, his eyes piercing hers.
Caroline obeyed. He ran a finger down her spine and she shivered. “Lovely,” he muttered. He stopped when he got to the indentation just above her rear. “My little tiger’s tail.” Jack kissed her shoulders. “Get on the bed.”
She started to move until she heard his breath hitch.
“Wait,” he said, and tugged at the bobby pins holding her loose bun together. Her hair fell to her shoulders. “That’s better.” He pulled back the covers until only the sheets remained on the bed. “Lie down on your back, close your eyes, and spread your legs.”
Oh, sweet Jesus. Caroline could feel her thighs trembling, but climbed onto the bed and dutifully spread them for him.
“Wider,” he said. She didn’t have to look at him to know he was smiling. “That’s very nice.”
She’d seen repentant Jack, melancholy Jack, sweet Jack, even alpha Jack. But the return of sexually commanding Jack left her in a giddy, quivering haze.
“Hands behind your head,” he ordered, kneeling on the bed to whisper in her ear. “You know what to say if it’s too much. Say it earlier than you would before, all right?”
“Okay,” she whispered. “But you’re doing really well so far.”
He kissed her cheek. “I wanted to remind you before it got too intense and you forgot. Keep your legs open,” he said sharply, as she began to squirm on the bed. Jack nuzzled her neck, his hands drifting to her breasts. She moaned as he tweaked her nipples. That wouldn’t be all he would do. He’d want more. A lot more. Sure enough, he took one of them in his mouth and bit down hard. Her eyes flew open. This – whatever it was they were doing – was too much but it wasn’t enough. And she knew she had to slow it down. She instinctively reached for him.
“Let me touch you,” she said.
Jack grabbed her hands. “Not now, sweetheart.”
She struggled, reaching for his face. “Please.”
“You can do this,” he said. “You can control your reactions. Let yourself feel good without worrying about me.”
“Please, Jack.”
He leaned down to kiss her, hard, until she gave in. “That’s better,” he said. “Put your hands behind your head.”
Jack was in control mode, but not too controlling. She could afford to be a bit sassy. “Fine. How come you get to keep all your clothes on?”
He walked his fingers down her neckline, squeezing her breasts again. “I’m kind of bashful.”
Now he was toying with her. “You’re full of shit,” she groaned.
“Probably,” Jack said. “Close your eyes.”
She wanted to object. Told herself to object. But that little voice in her head that commanded her to obey was getting louder and louder. Jack moved down her body, teasing his fingers along one of her thighs. He glided his hand across her hip bones before drifting down the other leg, and she whimpered.
“I’m sorry,” he said. “Did you want something?”
Let him do this to you. Caroline reached for the pillow under her head and pulled it over her face. “No.”
“That’s what I thought.” Jack kissed the inside of her thighs, until his nose was at her clit. She arched toward him, her body begging to be touched. He pulled away and started kissing her stomach. Caroline mumbled a few choice obscenities into the pillow. “What was that?” he asked. He kissed the scar on her abdomen, running his fingernails down her thighs, over her hips, before moving back up again. It was unbearable how he refused to touch her where she needed it the most.
Caroline clenched her knees together, hearing a yelp. She hadn’t realized Jack had been working his way back down and she’d almost managed to break his nose. She shoved the pillow to the side. “Oh Jesus, Jack. I’m sorry.”
He laughed. “No, you’re not.”
“Did I-”
“I got out of the w
ay. That’s what I get for teasing you.”
“I loved it,” she said. “I just had a moment of impatience.”
Jack pulled her to a sitting position. “Sweetheart, I know it’s hard for you to focus on yourself, but I wish you’d try. Let me do the work.”
She’d been trying so hard to heed his words. To give in, let herself feel all the things she’d forgotten. It still hadn’t been enough. Her mind and her body weren’t in sync. “I’m having trouble focusing.”
“We can change course.” He kissed her. “What do you really want?”
Maybe she could shake it up, get to the root of her reticence. See how far he was willing to go. Caroline ran her fingers through his hair. “Why don’t you let me take charge some of the time?”
“Is that what you want?”
Maybe. I don’t know. “How do you know it isn’t what you want?”
“I never thought about it.”
She found that claim dubious. He had to have thought about it. She did, all the time. Letting him take the lead freed her from her other worries, but she also enjoyed his reactions. There were times when he might have gotten more out of it than she did. “I have many pleasant memories from the first couple of years we were married.”
“So do I.” Her husband’s expression was more than a little smug. “A lot of what we did was pretty hot. Do you miss it?”
If her dreams were any indication, absofuckinglutely. “I do.”
“You think I wasn’t getting something out of teasing you just now?” he asked.
“I’m sure you were. It just – it’s different somehow. Not like it used to be.”
“Nothing is like it used to be.”
He’d gone from conceited to wistful so quickly. His tone mirrored her mood. “I feel like you’re afraid of hurting me,” she said.
“I am,” Jack said softly. “I don’t want to remind you of bad experiences.”
Some enlightenment, perhaps for them both. “You mean what happened at The Fed.”
“Yes.”
“There’s a difference between getting turned on by letting your husband order you around and having someone beat the shit out of you without your consent. If anything you did bothered me, I’d tell you.” She thought back on that night in Beverly Hills. One of her favorite memories. It had been hard to top, but they’d eagerly attempted repeat performances with great success. “We’ve had some really mind-blowing sex, Jack.”
Triumph (The Bellator Saga Book 6) Page 4