by Lee Wardlow
Sophie gazed at her husband waiting for him to explain what they had talked about. “She ran into Ben at the grocery store.”
“Uh oh.” Sophie stared at Josh while she waited for him to explain.
“Yeah. He introduced himself. He knew exactly who she was.” Josh shook his head. “She said she stood in the baby food aisle staring at him with her mouth open and her heart about to race out of her chest.”
Sophie couldn’t help but think how shocking that had to have been for Hannah. “Why did she call you?”
“You’re sick. She needed to talk to someone. She didn’t want to anger Heath or Kai.”
“Oh.” She frowned at Josh. “So, Kai doesn’t know?”
“Not yet. I recommended that she tell her though.”
“I agree with that.”
Josh also told Sophie that she and Heath were thinking about Hannah quitting her job. Sophie was shocked by that. Heath made plenty for the two of them to live off and she really wanted to be with Joshua. Daycare was expensive at two hundred dollars a week plus Joshua hated it when he went before. The grandparents keeping Joshua was supposed to be temporary until they decided on daycare in Cooper after the recent move.
“Then when they have another baby, the cost of daycare would only increase because they think the grandparents can’t take of two kids.”
Sophie’s head shot around, and she stared at Josh. “Are they thinking of having another one soon?”
“Soph, he’s not even one. I don’t think so.”
She nodded and stared out the window. Some deer poked their heads out of the woods and Sophie was excited to see them. It had been a while. Not that they hadn’t been there, she hadn’t taken the time to look for them.
Sophie propped her chin in her hand and watched the animals pick at the leaves on the low hanging branches. There weren’t many left for them to eat, just a few.
“What are you looking at, Sophie?”
“Deer, in the yard. You forget how beautiful they are when you get so caught up in life that you don’t stop to watch for them.”
“We’ve been busy. Too busy with the business, the kids’ activities too.”
Sophie smiled. Football practice and games since Heath was seven. He was good as a wide receiver. Josh had hopes that he would be a quarterback like him, but his son could run fast and had great hands not an arm like his dad. He was content that Heath was part of a team not pushy like some of the fathers had been.
Ally was a swimmer so there were early morning practices and Saturday swim meets. Sometimes, all day. She went to state her sophomore and junior year in high school. Then Ally also had soccer and she was just as good at that sport. Camden offered her a soccer scholarship. Some schools had been looking at her for their swim teams. She took the best offer.
She missed those days. Sophie missed the hustle and bustle of activity that was always their lifestyle. She missed family dinner with the kids.
“Can we have dinner with just the kids on Saturday or Sunday?” She asked Josh.
“Sure. I’ll call Heath later. We can talk to Ally at dinner.”
“I miss them Josh.”
He nodded in agreement.
He brought a plate to her and went back for his. They sat side by side and ate in silence. Lost in thought and memories that weren’t so long ago. Time had a way of getting by. The kids had grown up so quickly that she felt she should have grabbed them and held on to slow them down a bit.
She leaned over and kissed Josh’s cheek, surprising him. “Ally isn’t joining us?” She asked suddenly realizing that he hadn’t made a plate or their daughter.
He sighed. “She went out for a while.”
Sophie shook her head. “I feel like we’re losing control over her. What is the appropriate level of parenting we’re supposed to have with her, Josh? I know she’s eighteen, but I feel like she just wants to do what she wants to do and to hell with what we think.”
He swirled his fork around his plate then he looked at Sophie. “I don’t know the answer. At her age, we were about to become parents to Heath.”
“I don’t want that to happen to her, Josh.”
He nodded. “Sophie, we’ve raised the kids with values and a sense of responsibility. We raised them with faith even though we didn’t attend church every Sunday. We need to trust in them. Heath and Hannah are doing just fine. We have to believe that Ally will too.” His words were positive, but his tone was concerned.
After dinner, Sophie and Josh watched television together. Then went to bed. Ally wasn’t home, and she didn’t answer her phone.
**
Josh kissed Sophie at the door. “Let me know if you hear from her.”
“Let me know if she shows up at work.”
“I’m going to fire her, if she doesn’t show up today,” Josh warned her.
Sophie rolled her eyes at her husband.
“Okay, I’m going to write her up. Give her a warning and show her what it means to be an employee of a company. You can’t just come and go as you please, Sophie.”
Sophie laughed at him. Then she shooed him off to the truck. He waved to her before he backed out the drive and was off down the street.
At ten o’clock Ally rolled in. Sophie met her at the front door. “Where have you been?”
Her daughter wouldn’t meet her gaze.
“At Jagger’s?” Sophie asked.
“For a while but he wouldn’t let me stay.”
“Smart man,” Sophie snapped at Ally.
She huffed at her mother. “Ally, where were you? I was worried sick about you. I don’t need this right now.”
“I’m moving in with Sylvia Smart. Remember her? She has a two-bedroom apartment and is looking for a roommate.”
Sophie took a step back. She chewed on her lower lip while she contemplated what to say. “How will you pay your half?” She asked.
“I have a job at Russack,” Ally stated as if her mother was dumb.
Sophie scratched her bald head. “Ally, you have to go to work to get paid. This is the fourth day that you’ve not been to work this week.”
She stepped around her mom. “I’m changing and heading to work right now.”
Sophie flinched when the door to Ally’s room slammed shut. She dropped in the recliner and sent a message to Josh that Ally was on her way to work in a few minutes. She just had to change.
She’s moving in with Sylvia Smart too.
What the hell?
Just let it go, Josh. Maybe she needs this to grow up and see how hard life can be. We protected the kids so much.
Heath turned out okay.
He went to another state to college for a reason…to grow up. This is her time to learn how to stand on her own two feet. Like you said last night, it’s time to trust that we raised her right. She’ll sink or swim. She can always come back home if she needs to.
Slowly, Ally moved her things to Sylvia’s apartment. Sophie pretended like it didn’t bother her, but it was crushing her. If this was happening now, why didn’t Ally just stay in Columbus at school? She was so confused on how to handle this, but she kept quiet like she and Josh had decided.
Ally didn’t come to dinner on Saturday. She had plans with Sylvia. Jagger finally spilled the beans on what was going on. She and Brian had broken up after she came home. He loved her, he had told her, but football needed to be his focus for now.
She was even more worried about her daughter.
Chapter 20
Sophie
A few days before Christmas, she was feeling stronger than she had in weeks. The extra week had given her the time she needed to recoup. She dreaded this treatment like she did the others knowing how she would feel but hoping by Christmas morning she could enjoy the holidays with the family a little bit.
Josh brought her home afterwards, put her to bed like always with a migraine. She saw her daughter very little but surprisingly, Ally came to visit her on Friday to see how Sophie’s chemo treatment had
gone.
She laid on the bed beside Sophie who was on her side. “How are you, Ally? Enjoying your newfound freedom?”
Ally lowered her eyes. “You know Brian and I broke up.”
“Jagger told your dad.”
She nodded. “He still calls me and texts me, Mom.”
Sophie laid her hand on Ally’s cheek. “He loves you.”
She nodded.
“How do you feel?”
Ally sobbed. Sophie’s head was pounding but she put that pain aside and tugged her daughter into her arms and held her. This was her first heartbreak, something that Sophie wished she didn’t have to experience. She comforted her daughter.
Then she glanced over her head and saw Josh leaning in the doorway watching them. He walked across the room and slid into bed behind his wife embracing her and his daughter.
Ally stayed the night at their house. Before morning, like always, Sophie was ill. She laid on the bathroom floor, covered by her heavy blanket and shivered. Ally squatted by her and caressed her cheek.
“Mom, can I get you anything?”
She shook her head no. “One more day of this and I’ll be ready for the recliner,” she told Ally.
“Is that how you get through this?” Ally asked her.
She nodded. “One hour at a time, babe.”
“I’ll be back to check on you,” Ally told her.
By Saturday night, Josh had carried Sophie to bed, tucked beneath the heavy blanket with the dogs for comfort. Her body still shivered. Her stomach still protested when she drank water or Gatorade, but she kept it down willing herself not to be sick.
Sunday afternoon, she moved to the recliner feeling better sooner than she had previously. She watched bowl games with Josh, something she had never done. More changes in Sophie’s life. She had watched him play as a cheerleader but never, had she watched football games with him during their married life, and she found that she liked this new experience.
“So, what happened with Camden?” Sophie asked.
“They haven’t played yet. They play New Year’s Day,” Josh explained.
Ally came out of her room. “I’m heading home now, since you’re doing better.” She leaned over her mother and kissed her forehead. Sophie wanted to grasp her hand and hold onto her. She wanted to beg her to move back home. “Call us if you need us, Ally,” she said instead.
“I will Mom.”
Then she went to Josh and kissed her father goodbye. When the door closed, Sophie felt her guts twisting. She put the puppies on the floor and dragged her blanket across the room. She slid into Josh’s lap and he held her close.
“I’m worried about her,” she told him.
“Me too.” He wrapped his arms around Sophie’s waist. “Jagger is too.”
“That isn’t comforting me, Josh.”
He chuckled. “I know.”
**
Christmas morning, they drank coffee alone. They hadn’t even put up a tree this year. It just didn’t feel like Christmas. Later today, they were all going to Heath and Hannah’s new home to celebrate.
“Let’s get dressed and make morning mass,” she suggested to Josh.
“Whatever you want.”
They showered together to save time. Something they hadn’t done in years, maybe when the kids were small, and they wanted to save time. She laughed at him when they were drying themselves off. Sophie put on some make-up and put on a red sweater dress trying to be in a festive mood. She slipped into her black, knee length boots. The dress was a size or two too big now, but she didn’t care. Josh wore dress slacks and a dark sweater. He helped her with her coat. They would have time to pray before Christmas services which is how Sophie liked it but only a few moments.
“I wouldn’t have made it if I had my hair to do.”
He chuckled at her. “No, you wouldn’t have.”
She wore a festive red cap on her head that covered her baldness and matched her dress, but it didn’t hide the fact that Sophie still appeared ill. It didn’t stop the compassionate stares or the pitiful glances either as they made their way down the aisle to a pew, but Sophie held her head high and smiled.
Josh grasped her arm while she genuflected in the aisle before slipping into the pew. She knelt on the bench. Josh sat down. She gave him a look over her shoulder and he slipped to his knees beside her.
“That’s better,” she whispered to her husband. He shot her a look but didn’t respond.
Hi, it’s me, God, Sophie.
I’m here again. Worried about Ally this time.
Watch over her for me, would you? I’m not really, sure what’s going on with her, but I’m really worried about her.
Deandra too. She says she’s doing okay but I hear the tiredness in her voice. Lift her up when she can’t do it herself.
Help Amy as she has her remaining chemo treatments. She has also become my friend. She needs one right now.
Take care of Kai as she gets to the end of her pregnancy with the twins.
“Scooch over.”
Sophie looked up. Kai was wanting in. Josh sat back on the seat and let Kai in. Sophie moved down so there was enough room for her and Roman who took the end of the pew in case he needed to escape with Alexander who might get fussy or loud.
Kai had to lean back on the seat, but her head was bowed in prayer.
Speaking of the devil. Watch over her for me because I really need her and Micki.
Sophie reached across and covered Kai’s folded hands.
“You okay?” Kai leaned closer to Sophie and whispered.
Sophie nodded. “I love you, Kai. I just want you to know that?”
She leaned forward into the seat in front of her as far as her belly would allow and put her arm around Sophie whose eyes never left the front of the church decorated for Christmas with potted Poinsettias and garland around the natural wood that enclosed the altar area. A tree that was decorated in only white lights with a star at the top. A manager sat its base, the baby Jesus now lay in his wooden crib, since Midnight Mass last evening.
“I love you too. I’m kind of glad I couldn’t stay awake last night otherwise I would have missed this.”
Her brother Ross and his family poured into the seat in front of her with both sets of parents, all surprised to see her.
Ross leaned over and kissed her on the forehead. His son, Dillon leaned over and pecked her cheek. “Love ya, Aunt Sophie.”
She smiled. Then she realized that Driver was making his way down the pew to sit beside her. So much for her prayers. She sat back on the cold, hard pew and removed her coat with Kai’s help. Then she put her arm around Driver.
“How are you kid?” She whispered.
“Good, I’ve been praying for you Sophie. He hears me too.”
She smiled at him although her tears glistened. “I’m sure he does.”
“I might become a priest. I think that might be my calling.” Driver wasn’t quiet. Ross glanced over his shoulder at his son and shook his head. Then he faced front.
“I hope you are happy, Driver whatever you do,” she told him. She gave him a squeeze.
Duke leaned over the pew and Sophie met him for a quick kiss too. He was the middle son. The quiet one named after her father of course. She smiled and patted his arm. “How are you Duke?” She whispered.
“Great, Aunt Sophie. I made the Honor Roll.”
“So proud of you,” she told him.
Her mom reached out for her hand and she grasped it tightly. “I’m glad to see you,” Daisy whispered. “Surprised but happy.”
“I pushed to get here but it’s the first Christmas since we all started going back to church. I wanted to be here, Mom.”
Her mother nodded.
The deacon of the church stopped by her father and whispered in his ear. He looked at Brad Russack and both men groaned. They got up and went to the front of the church.
Sophie leaned over and tapped her mother on the shoulder. “Where’s Dad and Brad going?�
�
Her mother’s eyes twinkled when she smiled and replied, “You’ll see.”
Her father and Brad stood behind the microphone dressed in their Sunday best for Christmas morning. She hadn’t seen this since she was thirteen, but Sophie remembered it well. They used to sing together, every Sunday. She loved to hear them harmonize.
“So, Paddy has a sense of humor,” her dad told the congregation and Brad chuckled. “Bradley and I haven’t sung together in nearly thirty years, but Paddy insisted if Sophie made it to church today that we should sing for her and she’s here, so you’ll have to excuse us if we’re a little off key.”
The congregation chuckled at her dad. Sophie peeked around Kai and her eyes met Josh’s. He didn’t know about this. She could see it, in his expression. They faced forward when Duke began talking again.
“I just wanted to take a moment to tell you that my Sophie is battling breast cancer as most of you are aware. We appreciate the love and support our church family has been giving us. Daisy shows me all the messages she gets about what you all would like to do to help. All the prayers that are being said for our girl and believe me from the bottom of mine and Brad’s heart, we appreciate it.”
Brad cleared his throat and Duke glanced at him. “We had a falling out, with Sister Nola. Everyone remembers the tiny terror that loved to wield her ruler. She whacked Sophie once to many times.”
Sophie glanced at Kai and her friend was sniggering. She elbowed her in the ribs to quiet her. “You deserved it.”
“I probably did. Is there some reason my father is airing our dirty laundry before Christmas mass?”
“I thought I was hurting her by not coming to mass anymore after Sophie made confirmation. I only hurt my family. My wife. Paddy informed me confession is good for the soul, so I stand before you, my friends and family and tell you I only hurt myself by not coming here. I hurt me by turning my back on you all including the good Lord. Thank you for not turning your backs on us when we needed you.”
“I followed him, what does that make me?” Brad teased him.
“We can’t say that word that in church, Bradley.” Everyone laughed at Duke’s joke. “So today by request of Father Paddy and for our girl, Sophie, we’ll lead the church songs. Feel free to sing louder than us as we’re a bit rusty.” They both rustled around with their books finding the first hymn.