“It is hardly the first time I have had to deal with a torn costume. At least this time it was the skirt, not the bodice.”
“That sounds like a story I must hear.” Elizabeth set the final few stitches and tied off the thread. “There. It should take you through the performance, at least.”
“Thank you, my dear. I must hurry to catch my cue.” Aunt Emmeline held up her skirts as she walked quickly from the room.
Elizabeth wound the remaining thread on the spool and returned it to the sewing basket. She glanced up as a shadow covered the open door.
“Good evening, Miss Elizabeth. I hope you are well.” It was his voice.
A shiver went down her spine. She straightened slowly. “Pardon me. Were you speaking to me?”
Darcy made a gesture, but his face was in shadow. “Of course. I have been looking for you.”
Alarm took up residence in Elizabeth’s throat but she managed to say, “I think you must have confused me with someone else. Someone you are acquainted with,” she said pointedly.
“I could never confuse you with another woman. I do not know why you are calling yourself Miss Merton, but –”
“I call myself that because it is my name.”
“I intend you no harm, Miss Elizabeth. I only wish to speak to you. I just recently learned you were no longer at Longbourn and why. I wish to help you.”
Perspiration gathered on her forehead. “Longbourn? What is that? I think you can help me the most by realizing I am not the woman you know.”
“I can understand why you would be angry with me.” There was an almost plaintive note in his voice.
“Sir, I do not know you enough to be angry with you, but if you persist in this insistence that you know me, I might surprise myself. Pray move aside and permit me to leave.”
He stepped back with a frown. As she swept past him, he murmured, “Elizabeth, I beg you...”
She ignored him and hurried to the Green Room, where there were bound to be actors waiting for their next cue. She found an empty place beside one of the actresses.
Now she was safe, at least for the moment, but her heart pounded. There was far more at stake than Darcy knew, and she could not tell him.
DARCY BIDED HIS TIME until the play ended and the musical interlude began. As soon as Jasper was free, Darcy said, “Would you introduce me to Mrs. MacLean and Miss Merton?”
Jasper eyed him suspiciously. “Why do you want to meet them?”
“I admire Mrs. MacLean’s acting. I tried to ask her niece a question earlier, but she would not answer because we had not been introduced.”
“Are you planning to tell them about me? Why are you even here again tonight?”
“I am not planning to tell anyone.” Still, he needed to give some sort of reason for his presence. “I came here because I want a chance to talk to you, and this is the only place I know where to find you. I was upset last night. If you will tell me where you live, I will call on you tomorrow.”
Jasper chewed his lip. “I have a room in a private home, so it is difficult to have a guest. Where are you staying? If we must talk, I will come to you.”
“I am staying at 20 Hanover Street.” This was not how he wanted the conversation to go. He was not accustomed to having Jasper’s disapproval. Usually it was the other way about.
“If I do this introduction, will you stay away from here? The backstage, that is. You can still attend the theatre.”
“If that is what you wish.” Darcy cursed silently. He did not want to give up the one place he could find Elizabeth. “But if you want me to stay away for fear I will expose you, you need not worry.”
“You do not understand.” Jasper wiped his brow, and bent to check his appearance in the mirror. “The company is like a family. The Jasper they know is not the one you know. Whether you intend to or not, you drag me back into my old life when you come here. I am not a schoolboy any longer, but you make me feel like one.”
It was true. He was treating Jasper like a schoolboy, just as he had done to Bingley. That error had cost him his first chance with Elizabeth. “That was not my intention. I will leave now. Call on me only if you wish.” He would have to find another way to reach Elizabeth.
“Dammit, Darcy, that is not what I meant.” Jasper looked past Darcy and smiled suddenly. “Miss Merton, may I present my friend Mr. Darcy? Darcy, this is Miss Merton.”
Darcy bowed, unable to trust his tongue.
“Mr. Darcy,” Elizabeth murmured as she curtsied.
“You will be happy to hear I did not miss even a word tonight.” Jasper grinned boyishly.
“Well done!” said Elizabeth. “All your work has paid off.”
“Miss Merton is kind enough to run lines with me,” explained Jasper. “She has been very patient.”
“I am happy to help,” said Elizabeth demurely. “Poor Mr. Fitzpatrick has to learn not only his own lines, but also the three roles he understudies. It is no small task.”
Darcy suppressed the urge to strangle Jasper. First Elizabeth would not even admit to knowing him, and now it was apparent she spent hours cozying up to his cousin. How much worse could this get?
Chapter 5
DARCY WAITED IMPATIENTLY for three days until the theatre’s next performance took place, determined this time to get an answer from Elizabeth. Instead, he returned to Hanover Street in a state of sick frustration.
“You look unhappy,” said Ramsay. “No luck following Miss Bennet home, I take it?”
“There were two guards keeping everyone away from that side of the building,” Darcy bit out. “It would have been too obvious.”
Ramsay frowned. “Do you think it is because of you?”
“The timing certainly seems to suggest it.” Darcy collapsed into a chair. “I only tried to talk to her!”
Mrs. Ramsay brought him a glass of wine. “I do not know if a female perspective might be helpful, but it sounds as if she is feeling cornered. If she is frightened to speak to you, then it will only make things worse if you push to see her.”
“You think I should give up?” It felt like a betrayal.
“By no means,” said Mrs. Ramsay. “I wonder if you should change your tactics.”
“What do you mean?”
“You understandably want an answer from her right away, but I think you will do better if you do not press her so hard. She knows you want to speak to her. Give her time to stop running away and become curious as to your reasons. Stay away from her for a time. Let her feel more in control and less as if you are going to hunt her down regardless of her wishes.”
“You think I should sit around and do nothing?” He could not stay in Edinburgh forever, hoping for the merest glimpse of Elizabeth.
Ramsay said, “You have already done everything that honor requires. You offered for her hand and were refused. You sought her out, but she would not speak to you. No one could fault you if you gave up and left tomorrow. The question is whether you are satisfied with what you have done. If you are not, I agree it will take some patience. Show her you do not plan to force your company on her.”
“For how long?”
“I have a plan for that.” Mrs. Ramsay’s eyes twinkled. “Hogmanay is coming, and that is the one day of the year when no one will turn a tall, dark-haired young man away from their door.”
“That is brilliant, my dear!” Ramsay cried.
“I do not understand,” Darcy said irritably.
“Tis an old Scottish custom,” said Ramsay. “On Hogmanay, the first day of the new year, your luck for the year is determined by who is the first guest to set foot through your door after midnight. There are all sorts of good and bad omens attached to various types of first-footers, as we call them, but the very best luck of all is to have a tall, dark-haired young man carrying a basket of symbolic gifts – bread, salt, coal, and whisky. Even if your young lady does not believe in it, everyone else in her household will. It is the perfect way to meet her again in a situation where
she should feel safe.”
“But I do not know where she lives. That was the reason for trying to follow her home.”
Mrs. Ramsay said briskly, “We will do it the hard way, by asking everyone if they know where Mrs. MacLean lives. Modistes, greengrocers, bakers, butchers – anyone with a business that might deliver to them. We will find it. There are few enough neighborhoods that well-to-do women would live in that it should not be difficult.”
“I am willing to try,” said Darcy.
“Finding her at the theatre would not work now, in any case. After tonight, it will be closed for a fortnight,” said Mrs. Ramsay.
Darcy frowned. “Closed for a fortnight? Why would the theatre close now?”
“Och, ’tis because of the kirk. The kirk barely permitted the theatre to open in the first place, and the actors dare not antagonize it,” said Mrs. Ramsay.
“’Tis because of your Christmas,” added Ramsay. “The kirk bans celebrating Christmas because they think all Christian feast days are but superstition. Many of the actors are from London and will not work on Christmas, but if the theatre closed for only that day, the kirk would accuse them of being papists. It is foolish, since it is merely English tradition and nothing to do with Rome, but there is no arguing with the kirk.”
“You do not celebrate Christmas?” Darcy asked in astonishment.
“Nay, ‘tis but another day here.”
“Not even Christmas dinner?”
“Not even that. I remember having Christmas dinner with your family when you brought me home for the school holiday, but we do not do that.”
No Christmas? Inconceivable! Darcy never considered it, but the idea of a year without Christmas was a bleak one. If he were in China or the Indies, it might not seem such a shock, but Scotland was part of Great Britain, and so was Christmas. Or so he had always thought.
He did not need more bleakness. The long search for Elizabeth and the bitter discovery she would not even acknowledge him had sapped any pleasure from his soul. Why was he even still here? He had come to rescue Elizabeth from disgrace, but she did not want to be rescued. Why could he not tell himself he had done the gentlemanly thing in finding her, and once he made her another offer of marriage, any obligation on his part was ended? But his heart did not believe it.
Now it would be even more waiting before he could have the chance of seeing her. The Ramsays did their best to keep him entertained, but the short days and cold weather kept his spirits depressed.
“JASPER, I AM GLAD TO see you.” Darcy shook his cousin’s hand in a firm grip. “I did not know if you would come.”
“I am happy to see you, just not at the theatre.” Jasper sounded much friendlier now. “How have you been? What brings you to Edinburgh?”
Darcy had his answer carefully prepared. “I am looking for someone who disappeared after being caught in a scandal. I recently learned my friend was living in Edinburgh under a false name, so here I am. I was at the theatre that night in case I might spot my friend in the audience. I have to confess I paid little attention to the play until I noticed you.”
“You did not miss much. Bluebeard is a poor excuse for a play, but it is popular, and we must earn our keep,” Jasper said cheerfully. “Who is he? Do I know him?”
“I doubt it. I do not feel comfortable telling you his name since he has gone to such efforts to hide it.” He hoped Jasper would not make the connection between his missing friend with a false name and his interest in the woman he knew as Miss Merton.
“Well, let me know if I can help you, although I doubt I can. I spend all my time with theatricals, so I rarely see other people.”
“Theatricals?” asked Darcy.
“Actors, stagehands, costumers – anyone associated with the theatre.”
“You are happy?” Darcy asked.
Jasper grinned. “Never been happier. I love acting and have made good friends, ones who care about more than gambling and prize fights.”
That was positive, at least. “How did you get the position?”
“A friend from Cambridge recommended me for it. I came up for an audition, and they gave it to me. It was just bit parts at first, but now I am getting bigger roles. Siddons says he might give me a lead in a few months.” Jasper certainly sounded enthusiastic.
“How long do you intend to stay?”
The enthusiasm vanished. “As long as I can. Sooner or later, my mother will put the hounds on my track. You might as well tell me; what is the news from the family?”
“As far as I know, they are well. Your mother came to see me shortly before I left London, asking me to look for you. She was worried because you did not pick up your last quarter’s allowance. I told her you were an adult and would come back when you wished, and if you had been in trouble, you likely would have contacted me.”
Jasper snapped his fingers. “I never thought about the allowance. I should do something about that. Damnation, I hate making her worry, but I cannot bear to live in her world.”
Darcy said cautiously, “If you wish, and only if you wish, I could write to her and say I have heard from a reliable friend that you are well and working to earn your keep.”
“Would you?” Jasper’s relief was obvious. “You should say that I am working at a job she would disapprove of. That will make her believe it.”
“A job unsuitable to your rank?”
“Perfect! And true, too.” He hesitated. “I do love them, you know, but I love them better from a distance.”
Darcy nodded. “Your parents can be overwhelming. Your brother Richard has told me the same thing.”
“He feels it, too? I never knew. Is he still at the War Office?”
“They sent him off to work with Wellington for a time, but he should be back in January. He was supposed to return to India, but they canceled it at the last minute.” He could see that Jasper, who hated to sit still, was already getting restless. “I am very curious about your acting. What roles do you play?” If he could get Jasper to talk about the theatre, he might let something slip about Elizabeth.
It was a vain hope. Jasper did not seem to want to talk about the theatre. Instead, he said, “I must be going. Good to see you, Darcy.”
Darcy steeled himself to let Jasper go instead of wringing his neck until he told him where to find Elizabeth. He needed Jasper’s goodwill, and that required patience. “Of course. Thank you for coming.” He opened the study door only to discover a small body standing on the opposite side of it.
“Are you truly an actor?” Matilda asked Jasper. “Mama said I must not disturb you, so I stood here just like a little mouse. I did not disturb you, did I?”
“Not at all,” said Darcy, smiling despite himself. “You were very good. Miss Ramsay, may I present Mr. Fitzpatrick, an actor at the Theatre Royal? Jasper, Miss Ramsay has dreams of running away to become an actress.”
Matilda’s wide eyes gazed up at Jasper adoringly. “What is it like to act?”
Jasper, in one of his mercurial shifts, squatted next to the girl. “It is the best feeling in the world. It is exciting and very, very hard work.”
“I can work very hard,” announced the girl. “I wish I could see you act.”
Jasper thought for a moment. “Since you are too young to go to the theatre, would you like me to perform a speech for you here?”
“Oh, yes, please!” cried the girl.
He looked very serious. “Then let us ask your mama or your nurse if I may. If you want to become an actress, it is very important that you never speak to strange men without your mama or your nurse present.”
“But Mr. Darcy is here, and I am going to marry him when I grow up.”
Jasper cast an amused glance at Darcy. “Is that so?”
“So I am told,” said Darcy dryly. “But I imagine Mr. Fitzpatrick will need a bigger room if he is to act for you, so we should ask your mama.”
Matilda grabbed Jasper’s hand and pulled him across the entrance hall and into the drawing r
oom. “Mama, this is Mr. Fitz... Fitz...”
“Fitzpatrick,” said Jasper with an elegant bow.
The girl beamed. “He is an actor and he is going to do a speech for me, and I did not disturb him at all, not even one little bit, did I?” She looked hopefully at Jasper, still holding his hand.
“Not in the slightest,” he assured her. “But I can only do this if your mama gives me permission.”
“Why, I would not miss it for anything,” said Mrs. Ramsay with an engaging smile. “It will be even better than going to the theatre.”
“Huzzah!” cried Matilda.
Jasper looked around the room, and then told the little girl, “Now, you must sit here on the floor, and imagine you are in front of a campfire. You are a soldier who has been fighting a long war in France. You are tired and cold. There are only a few of you left alive, and tomorrow you have to fight a hopeless battle against a huge army. Can you do that?”
She nodded eagerly as she followed his instructions.
“I am King Harry, leading the army. Come, Darcy, I will need you to give me my cue.” He took Darcy aside. “You must say ‘Oh, that we now had here but one ten thousand of those men in England that do no work today.’ Can you remember that?”
“Say it one more time.” Darcy found this new Jasper entertaining, if nothing else.
Jasper repeated it. “You do not have to be perfect.”
“I am glad of that.” He would be lucky to get most of it out.
Jasper turned to face Matilda, rubbed his hands together, and shifted from one foot to the other. He stood straighter and nodded at Darcy.
Darcy said, “Oh, that we now had but one ten thousand of those men that do no work today.”
Jasper rounded on him in apparent anger. “What's he that wishes so? My cousin, Westmorland? No, my fair cousin; if we are mark'd to die, we are enough to do our country loss; and if to live, the fewer men, the greater share of honour...” He continued through the rest of the monologue, gesticulating and addressing Matilda directly at times.
A Matter of Honor Page 6