“I’ve got you,” Rebecca said, the low and sexy tone of her voice almost enough for Callie. She forced herself to breathe. “Just don’t scream, okay?”
Callie didn’t think she could promise anything, but considering they weren’t the only ones in the house, she would try.
* * * *
“You’re shaking.”
“Yeah, I think you know why,” Callie murmured against Rebecca’s shoulder, as Rebecca wrapped a towel around her.
“I think I do. It’s good for my confidence, because frankly, I feel like I’m screwing up almost everything else.”
“That’s not true.”
“I know it’s not.” With a sigh, Rebecca picked up her own clothes to put them into the hamper. “There are things I’m not handling so well. I don’t have the slightest idea how to react to people like Andy. David was right about one thing. I should talk to my parents. It’s not like I want to hide you or something. I’m proud of you…of us.”
“I know, but don’t be so hard on yourself. I had most of my life to figure this out. You’ve had a little less than a year.” Callie leaned forward to whisper, “You’ve learned very fast too,” which got her a chuckle from Rebecca, as she had hoped.
* * * *
In her quest for answers, Rebecca hadn’t given much thought as to what it would actually be like to visit someone in a prison. She was beginning to see why everyone had warned her off. Nevertheless, she straightened her shoulders, fairly assured that the table was closest to the guard in the corner.
“Hey, Rebecca. I was sure you’d chicken out at the last moment.”
She had never liked Craig, from the first moment they were introduced. Rebecca didn’t want to be here, feeling awkward and irrationally guilty when it was his actions that had brought him here. Of course, he could sense her unease, and from the smug smile he gave her, she could tell he enjoyed it.
“Well, I’m here.” I’m doing my best not to jump up and run. For Maggie.
“I’m heartened, but frankly, I have no idea what you want from me other than to make a rather clumsy attempt at being social. I told everything in court, and I pled guilty. Did you come here because you’re still mad I called you a slut?”
Rebecca took a deep breath, willing herself not to take the bait. She had no time to waste.
“Could it be I was the only one interested in you when David had already set his eyes on his coworker, Susan? Maybe not. You didn’t really like that, and now, we all know why.”
“Tell me what exactly you said to Maggie that night. All of it.”
Rebecca had always been good at hiding an inner turmoil—a skill that was to her advantage at this moment. She had expected Craig to be defiant and contemptuous, because he’d always treated her that way. She’d also suspected David and Susan had a history that was slightly longer than any of them had ever admitted; however, the incident Craig was referring to had taken place before Maggie’s birth. She didn’t want to think of the implications now, or the fact that David was hell-bent on turning back time.
“You know what happened. She told me about her book club, and school, and the lady who kept coming around and making Callie cry. I bought her a burger and an ice cream cone, and a bit later, the police stormed the hotel room and scared the hell out of her.”
“You forgot the part where you fired a gun while she was in the room,” Rebecca said icily.
“Not my best idea, I admit.”
“Not your best idea?” Rebecca struggled to keep her voice down, as not only the officer, but also the couple from the table next to them threw them curious glances. “We got her into counseling after that. She has horrific nightmares, and that’s all you can say—not your best idea?”
He shrugged. “Tell her I’m sorry. I really am.”
“That’s not good enough. Did you tell her that we’ll put her in a foster home?”
“What?” To Rebecca’s dismay, his surprise seemed honest. “Wow, you’re crazier than I thought. Why would I do that? I do think she should be with David, but that’s hardly a foster home. He’s her father, and you’ve got issues…not that it’s a surprise.”
“Why would I believe anything you say?”
“If you don’t, why are you here in the first place?” This wasn’t going well at all. “Did you know it was Maria who told me about you and Callie?”
She stared at him in disbelief. Her sister-in-law had been a close and loyal friend. She would have never…or would she? Rebecca shook her head. “You’re just playing games with me, as usual. Thanks for nothing.”
“It’s true,” he insisted. “She made me promise not to tell anyone. I guess she trusted me more than I trusted her, but I did love her.”
For all the crazy things he’d done, strangely enough, Rebecca believed him. At least she knew he believed it to be true.
“Don’t think you’re so special, Rebecca. Maria slept with a few women in town, and you bet she wasn’t the only one. The only difference was they were able to keep their mouths shut. You make waves…this is what happens. If you’re looking for the bigot, what about your new minister? Isn’t causing trouble in church one of your favorite hobbies? I’d start there, or with your other best friend, Betty LaRue. It makes people nasty when they think they’re missing out.”
“You should know,” Rebecca shot back at him.
“Hey, you can come off your high horse anytime now. Don’t you think Beckett isn’t still running things behind the scenes? Weller took half of his business elsewhere. You can’t tell me the folks in Autumn Leaves haven’t noticed the changes since their juniors went to prison.”
“For rape and attempted rape,” Rebecca reminded him, getting to her feet so quickly that the chair scraped over the floor. The officer frowned, taking a step toward them.
“It’s okay,” she said. “I’m done.”
Rebecca’s first impulse was to head home and take a long, hot shower in order to feel clean again, get rid of the chill that gripped her despite the warm weather. She decided against it, because she felt it was more necessary to put some distance between the worrisome thoughts the visit had left her with, and her home and life in Autumn Leaves.
She could forgive many things, but the way Craig implied that the choices he’d made weren’t all that bad in the long run, sickened her. Matt Weller’s father might be punishing the people in Autumn Leaves for putting his son in jail, but he was there for a reason—he and his friend, the former mayor’s son.
As far as Rebecca was concerned, they could stay there for the rest of their lives, which unfortunately wasn’t an option.
She considered stopping for a coffee somewhere, then had a better idea. Rebecca wanted to share every aspect of her life with Callie, but there was no doubt there were parts she had to figure out for herself first. This was why she met every Monday night with the women in Marin County, whose lives were very different from hers, except in one thing. Father Langdon had recommended the group to her at a time when she’d been a lot more uncertain about the direction in which she was going, and to her relief, he said she was always welcome.
* * * *
Callie had once more offered to accompany Rebecca on her visit, but to her relief, Rebecca had once again declined. Callie didn’t care to be reminded of any of the interactions she’d had with Craig Lowman, even less so the context in which they had taken place; however, she assumed Rebecca might be in need of distraction or conversation when she returned, and so she decided not to go out with the girls. Dina was fine with that and settled in for a lengthy Skype chat with Tomaso.
The questioning look Maggie gave her was heartbreaking. Callie had no intention of interrogating her some more on the subject of her nightmares. As David had stated less elegantly, she wasn’t Maggie’s mother, nor was she as qualified to ask those questions as the counselor was.
“Hey, since Dina’s busy, would you like to come up to the attic with me? There are a few boxes I never opened—maybe books or magazines. I don’t even know. He
y! Maybe we’ll find some hidden treasure.”
Maggie’s expression said she didn’t believe so but was willing to humor Callie. “Sure,” she said without much enthusiasm.
“Good. I’ll take all of you out for dinner afterward, and I want to you pick the place. If we let Dina choose, it will be pasta or pizza every time.”
“I heard that!” Dina called from the living room. Maggie giggled.
“No offense,” Callie called back. “We’ll have enough of that in the summer, don’t you think?”
At that, Dina got up from the armchair and came closer. “Really? You think Mom and Dad will be able to agree on that?”
“I’m sure,” Callie said. Ultimately, David and Rebecca would find a compromise, and not only because it would make Dina happy to see her boyfriend again. That was certainly not their main concern, but Dina had already invested a lot of time in learning the language and culture. The trip would be to her benefit, and frankly, a few days of the year out of Autumn Leaves would be to all their benefit.
“We’ll work it out. Now, if you excuse me, my junior detective here and I have to solve the mystery of the missing postcards and magazines.”
“Good luck with that,” Dina said, laughing.
Callie hadn’t known her Aunt Valerie very well. After living in Autumn Leaves for almost a year, she realized the same went for everyone else in town. Even Rebecca had hardly exchanged more than a few words with her. Valerie had a house here, but her home was all over the world. Callie hadn’t found much memorabilia of her travels when she’d moved in here. The papers for the house were in order, the house clean, and a few boxes left in the attic. Callie had planned to take a look at them after settling in. Then, Rebecca Lowman had knocked on her door—gorgeous, and self-conscious when she learned some facts about her new neighbor.
Fairly self-conscious herself, Callie realized she was drifting, and Maggie still waited for her at the bottom of the stairs.
* * * *
Father Langdon offered her a tea in his garden, patiently waiting for her to disclose the reason for her visit. Rebecca could understand his curiosity. The last time she had come by, it was with Betty to complain about Father Reynolds’s inappropriate behavior.
As far as Rebecca knew, Reynolds wasn’t doing anything worse these days, other than giving her disapproving looks from the pulpit.
“It’s good to see you, Rebecca. You look happy,” he said.
That made her smile and blush at the same time, because his words brought to mind all the ways in which Callie made her happy. It was confirmation people could actually see all those changes were for the better. Maggie’s problems didn’t come from the lack of a stable home. She hoped David would be able to see that too, at some point.
“I am. Thank you. I just went to see my ex-brother-in-law. David said it would be a waste of time…I’m afraid he was right about that.”
“How’s it going at the group? Amber told me she’d hired you.”
“Oh, yes. It’s going well.” Except for Andy showing up everywhere, unbidden. “Everyone has calmed down, mostly, but there’s something we’re worried about. Someone approached Maggie and told her all kinds of lies…like she’d be taken away and be given to strangers. She won’t tell who said it. She says she promised. We told her she’s not bound by a promise to someone like that, and I think she understands, but she still won’t tell.”
“You have a suspicion? Do you think that person is threatening her?”
“I don’t know. I hope we’ll know more after the next appointment with the counselor…no one seems to have approached her. Wait…should we have called the police?” That had never even occurred to her.
“The person sounds more pathetic than an acute danger, but I understand this is weighing on you. You could ask Sheriff Wilkins’ opinion.”
“I will.” Rebecca stirred her tea, unsettled about the prospect of involving the police once more. Maggie needed some peace. They all did. “You know, I never realized how mean some people could get.” She laughed at the irony of her own words. “Considering I’m going on forty, that says a lot about the life I led, doesn’t it?”
“Well, it would be nice if no one ever had to find out, but fortunately, we can grow with those challenges. It’s very clear to me you did.”
“Yes, and I think I’ve apologized enough. I’m not going to let anybody tell me how to live my life, but all of this is harder when you don’t know who you’re dealing with. They hurt Maggie…that makes all the difference to me. David, he—” Rebecca stopped herself short of blurting out everything she’d learned in the past few days. “I’m sorry. This is not a confession. You don’t have to listen to all this drama…not anymore, that is.”
“I’m not taking your confession, but I promise to keep confidential whatever it is you want to tell me,” Father Langdon assured her.
Rebecca considered her options. She knew what she wanted to do. She just wasn’t sure if it meant courage or betrayal.
* * * *
As expected, the boxes held old magazines, a few books that weren’t for Maggie’s age. Callie was almost ready to call it quits when they uncovered the closed envelope on the bottom, holding some handwritten letters and postcards, and another, smaller envelope with a dozen photographs.
“I’ll take those down,” she said to Maggie. “I’m sorry there’s nothing really interesting for you, but you can still choose where we go for dinner.” She wasn’t sure if that was any consolation, or if there was any easy fix for Maggie these days. This situation was uncomfortably reminiscent. Again, she failed to find the right words. Maggie’s situation was different from Beth’s though. No one had publicly humiliated her. She might not give up that person’s name, but she knew they were wrong, didn’t she?
Callie shifted the papers back and forth, and then put them back in the envelope. In the beginning, she and Maggie had formed an easy rapport, even before she could acknowledge her feelings for Rebecca, let alone act on them. Callie knew how hard it was to keep a secret at the age of fourteen. No eight-year-old child should carry that burden. She’d address the subject with Rebecca once more tonight. They had to do something.
The doorbell interrupted her thoughts. “I think we’re pretty much done here, right? Let’s see who that is.”
She hoped it wasn’t David again. As far as Callie was concerned, they’d seen enough of him lately, and he hadn’t been helpful either.
“Mom is not here but come on in,” she heard Dina say. Going down the stairs after Maggie, she came face-to-face with a teenage girl dressed all in black with shoulder-length black hair. Maggie disappeared into her room.
“This is Sara,” Dina said. “From Mom’s…um, group.” Callie remembered Rebecca mentioning Sara, the girl who was willing to listen to adult women discussing faith, because Autumn Leaves hadn’t much to offer for lesbian teens. Rebecca was shocked to find out that Sara’s parents had cut ties with their daughter over her sexual orientation.
“Hi, Sara. I’m Callie. Rebecca should be here soon. Can I get you anything?”
“No, thanks. I’m fine. I’ll go outside for a cigarette, if you don’t mind.”
In fact, Callie did mind, and she was sure Rebecca would too, but Sara had slipped outside before she could answer. Dina followed her. Hesitating for a moment, Callie picked up the envelope and carried it into the bedroom.
Chapter Five
Callie was startled to find that the letters weren’t written in English. She didn’t understand a word but soon realized that having Dina here would come in handy. The person who had written those letters to Valerie had done so in Italian. Toni.
All the pictures in the smaller envelope showed a younger Valerie, her arm around another woman, both of them smiling. With each discovery, what little information she had about her aunt made more sense, but it also brought up many more questions. Valerie had known about Callie’s choice of career and relative success, and she might have thought Callie would have som
e use for the place—more than her mother and Sean, who abhorred moving under the best of circumstances.
Valerie might have seen something familiar in Callie, though not enough to share her secret. Her generation had battled far heavier burdens, though it was sad that not even her closest family had known. Callie was certain her mother was just as clueless.
What had her life been like in Autumn Leaves ten, fifteen years ago? Judging from the present, Callie could understand why Valerie had traveled a lot. The postcards were from Sweden, Denmark, Holland—places that had shown a lot of foresight when it came to equal rights—but it was later in the warmer south of Europe that Valerie had fallen in love. It wasn’t something you could choose.
She thought of Rebecca, living here all the time, with her husband and daughters, unaware. Would it have made a difference if the two women had actually talked, for either of them? They’d never know.
Callie wished she could have had that conversation with her aunt, that she had paid more attention, had known to ask. Then again, she had always spent more time in her own world. Luckily, she had left it long enough to take a chance on a town that meant nothing to her…and met Rebecca.
That was something she’d never want to change, and she was grateful, regardless of all the ways in which people in Autumn Leaves had not been friendly to her.
A knock on the door preceded the subject of her thoughts into the room. Callie jumped to her feet, realizing it was much later than she had thought. There was music from Maggie’s room and some laughter from the porch where Dina still sat with Sara.
“I didn’t prepare anything…I’d like to take you all out tonight, and I promised Maggie she could choose the place. How was the visit?”
“Not as terrible as it could have been.” Rebecca looked tired, but not as dispirited as Callie had feared, considering that this afternoon’s appointment had involved Craig Lowman.
“Did he tell you anything?”
“Craig? All of you were right about him. Maybe he really doesn’t know. I made a detour and visited Father Langdon.”
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