by Ryan Rimmel
“Do you know everything about everyone?” I asked.
“Most of it. I check their histories,” stated Shart. “Humans don’t have access to them, but I do. I read the logs and see just what you idiots do. It's all very droll. Your species is pretty uninteresting.”
“Glad to know.”
“Do you want to hear about anyone’s history?” asked the demon, grinning at me.
I’ll admit I was tempted, but it seemed like such a gross violation of privacy. Then again, I could think of one creature that I wouldn’t mind checking on.
“Yo, Badgelor, who is Charles?”
“All you need to know is that I’m going to kill him,” replied Badgelor.
“Did he hurt your feelings?” I asked. I was still sore about how I’d gotten my badger companion.
“He betrayed me. Those that betray Badgelor will be punished,” stated the badger darkly, “Severely punished.”
“Okay,” I replied, then thought to Shart, “You know things you have no reason to. Who is this Charles guy?”
“I’m not doing that to Badgelor,” stated Shart. “He holds a special place in my heart.”
“Bullshit. Since when? You two argue all the time, and you think all mortals are just short of garbage. Explain how he has a special place in your heart,” I replied.
“I didn’t say has a special place, Dum Dum. I said he holds a special place,” replied Shart. “While he was rummaging around inside me, he found a special place in my heart. He grabbed it and tried to pull it out of my body. I agreed to leave him alone if he left me alone. That badger is scary.”
“That must have been awkward,” I stated. “How did you talk with your mouth full of badger?”
“He didn’t go through my mouth,” replied the demon.
“I figured you could protect your belly button better than that,” I stated.
“He didn’t go through there, either,” stated Shart. “All of my orifices are connected to the extradimensional space.”
“Butt?” I asked.
“No.”
“Ear?”
“No.”
“I’m going to figure this out,” I stated, and continued labeling off body parts.
Chapter 56: A Casual Stroll
“You have a cloaca?” I asked.
“It’s private.”
I’d figured it was the urethra, but when that hadn’t gotten a positive response, I’d had to start reaching. I learned quite a lot about demon biology or remembered quite a bit. I did have the Demon Lore skill, and it did cover demonic reproduction. Thankfully, demons couldn’t reproduce with humans. All efforts had ended in failure. Other people’s efforts mind you. Not mine and Shart’s. No way. No how.
Purple, tentacle-filled failure.
Having memories that were not yours, but that felt like they were, was strange. They didn’t even feel like someone else’s memories anymore, which had at least been something to distinguish them by. When I’d first learned Demon Lore, a great deal of information had been stuffed into my head. However, the new stuff had felt different from my normal memories. Now, it all just felt like my memories.
Speaking of getting more information crammed into my head, I did have a few prompts to address. We had stopped for rest just outside of an area that Fenris and SueLeeta agreed was the best point for ambushes. SueLeeta then vanished off into the forest to scout some more, while Fenris and Zorlando handed out healing potions. I just stood there, looking good. Since no one needed me, I decided to finally level up my Mage Class.
Level UP, Mage 3.
You have one perk unselected. Please choose.
I selected Second School for my perk. That would allow me to finally cast spells that might actually hurt someone. I took my spell scroll and went downstream to carefully clean it off. Magical spell scrolls were incredible tough and resistant; you could damage them with enough force, but enough force was pretty significant. They also cleaned perfectly and were much less itchy than leaves.
I was going to buy another scroll when I returned to Narwal. I needed to actually use this one for its intended purpose. It was being retired from double duty. I had honestly debated not even learning this spell until I first picked up another scroll. That would have been irresponsible, though. We were going into battle to save Windfall, and my bottom was just going to have to make the sacrifice. After the enchanted paper was cleaned, I deciphered it. Thus, I learned my first real offensive spell.
Fire Bolt: Firemancy spell. Damage 4-16. A bolt of fire is launched from your hand and can set your target on fire. Requires an Ignition Sign. Range 120 feet. Cost 2-8 Mana Points.
Signs were the hand patterns that you had to adopt to cast a spell. Damage actually read 5-17 for me, because Damage was increased by my Willpower stat. There were other perks, talents, and abilities that could further increase Damage, but I didn’t possess any of them.
I found that the magical node for fire magic was in the loins, which gave a whole new meaning to the term ‘fire crotch’. I began pulling Mana from there and converting it to magic on my palm. I formed the runes as the spell instructed, shoving and twisting the Mana until it adopted the proper shape. Then, I fed it into the nodes on my right hand.
Casting this was different than casting Break Wind. That had been a simple spell where I just threw everything into my palm. Fire Bolt required me to contort my hand into a specific configuration, called a sign. I did so and watched the energy flash between the central node and my fingers. Because it was a starter spell, it explained the motions of how you were supposed to make the sign. That was fortunate, because it was a bunch of unnatural hand movements. It started with fingers extended like claws and ended in something that resembled the Vulcan salute.
The movement was so precisely sequenced that it took me a few tries to get it right. The first time I performed it correctly, the magic moved from my palm, into my fingertips. It then formed a small ball between them.
“F’Poof,” I called out, and the small ball of fire shot out into a nearby rock. It splattered against the rock’s surface like a bug on a windshield. I wondered if all magical words of power were as bizarre as ‘Hoopie’ and ‘F’Poof’.
You have learned the skill, Firemancy. You are unskilled. Your powers are now flaming!
“What a great Wizard,” stated Shart, “Archmage F’Poof. The living flame, he was called.”
“You people have weird names,” I replied.
“So sayeth Jim.”
Grumbling, I cast the spell several more times in reasonably quick succession. If the spell had done any damage, I’d have been more impressed. The small spoonfuls of fire were not that hot and seemed to dissipate immediately upon striking an object.
“You have this,” stated Shart, encouragingly. “Why not put some Mana behind the spell? Make it a bit more impressive.”
“I am spending Mana on the spell,” I stated.
“Well, yes, but you are working the least amount of Mana required to make the runes. You can amplify each rune up to 4 times. Put the full 8 Mana behind each.”
I didn’t respond. I didn’t know enough about magic to argue. I began focusing more on the magical node located directly at the base of my junk. Pushing past the fear that the rune might explode, as they didn’t seem to be able to do that, I made another rune of fire. I held it for a moment. The spell required two separate copies of the same rune, so I’d gotten reasonably good at making it.
Flipping it around mentally, I realized that Shart was right. I could ‘thicken’ the rune by reinforcing it with additional magic. As soon as I’d finished the runes before, I had used them to make the spell. This time, I went over both runes again, doubling the amount of Mana I’d put into the spell. That didn’t seem hard to control, so I repeated the process a third time. Now, the runes started to tremble, twitching in my mind. I repeated the process again, and they became unstable.
I had dealt with unstable magic before. You could effectively ground it into
your heart, which sent it off throughout your body. The experience wasn’t pleasant, but it was survivable. I had put significantly more Mana into this spell than my previous spells, though. I decided to hurry and cast it, rather than risk taking damage from grounding it. I pushed the magic into my palm.
The hand signs were identical and I completed the spell within moments. That stabilized everything. After the spell was cast, there was a very brief moment when it clung to you. I was looking at a ball of fire, as big as a cup, being held in my hand. I released it against the nearby stone. The results were far more spectacular.
The glob still hit like a bug on a windshield. This time, though, it stuck there for several seconds. I could feel the heat from where I was standing, nearly 10 feet away. Sparks began spitting out of the fire. Each spark was small, not enough to start a fire by itself. Still, it would have been painful to be hit by one.
I began looking around for a tree to burn, like an arsonist, when Fenris strode up. “You can cast spells?”
“Yes,” I replied.
Fenris stood for a long moment, watching me. “I’ve never seen a Woodsman who can cast before. I’ve never even seen a Woodsman handle a magical implement. I wouldn’t go showing that off.”
I nodded. One more thing to worry about.
Then, I saw SueLeeta, rushing back out of the forest. She looked concerned.
Chapter 57: Ambushing the Ambushers
“They are going to expect us on the road,” stated Fenris, shortly after. We had resumed marching on the road toward Windfall. Unfortunately, there was an escarpment on the western half of the plain. It separated the open land near the town from the forest. The ridge was 20 feet tall, with one good road going through it. If we didn’t take the road, we’d have to climb down. Climbing would take time that we didn’t have.
I could see the shimmer of the barrier from here. It truly did look smaller than I remembered it. I checked the prompt. We were down to a little over an hour and a half, before the first reduction of the barrier. The mine was presently just inside the town’s barrier; a reduction would entirely cut it off from the town.
“SueLeeta will warn us,” I thought. I wondered how exactly she was going to do that. I brought up menu time and activated my War Leader talent, dragging everyone into a war party as we continued marching. Now, SueLeeta was listed as a scout, and we could easily keep track of her.
Fenris snorted. I kept forgetting that most people didn’t have menu time. They interacted with their menus in real time. When I quickly jumped in and set up the war party, it came off as me having prepared earlier. It was as if everything was sitting, waiting for a final click of an authorize button, instead of me realizing something needed done at the last minute. SueLeeta thought I was clever. Fenris thought it was a bit unnecessary.
His timing had been about right, though, as suddenly several red icons appeared on my map. SueLeeta had spotted goblins. I hadn’t given her any orders, so she started pulling back, toward the main body of the force.
“Fenris, go find SueLeeta. Make sure the goblins that she spotted don’t report back,” I stated. It was too early to make the entire formation move more quickly to get into town. If we were intercepted, they would be too exhausted to fight.
Killing their sentries might alert the other goblins, if they were looking at their Battle Map. Then again, they might not be looking. I didn’t get pop-ups if someone took damage, though I did get one if someone died. I suspected that there was a Rogue talent somewhere that would let you kill a sentry without alerting the commander, but I hadn’t unlocked it on any talent trees, yet. That meant that as soon as we killed them, we were looking at a battle.
“Zorlando,” I began, drawing the Mercenary Captain’s attention, “Let’s get your men into squads. That will make it easier to smash through any goblins we run into. I’ll take point.”
He raised an eyebrow at me, while I brought up the War Leader menu. I quickly selected the arrowhead formation for the Mercenaries. The militia would run behind them in a double line formation. We looked like a triangle with two lines under it on my Battle Map, but Zorlando looked happy. That was enough of an approval for me. We amped up our walking to a jog.
I had left the non-combatants in the Western Gate Fortress. At least, I had left most of them. I had attempted to leave all of them. Jarra the Healer laughed at my suggestion that she stay behind. She was currently nestled in the back of the formation. A stray shot that one of the militiamen could ignore would probably kill her, so I was hopeful that she would not be targeted back there.
It didn’t take long for us to run into the first goblins. Several arrows whizzed toward us from the forest. I heard multiple cries from the front, as Mercenaries were struck by arrows. Their medium armor mostly resisted the strikes. I learned that I couldn’t shoot arrows while jogging; well, I couldn’t shoot them accurately, at any rate. Instead, I ordered Zorlando to keep everyone moving forward. I separated and sprinted off into the forest.
I found the first goblin stringing his bow for another shot. He heard me, of course; I was smashing through the forest. He spotted me just as his bow was ready. He loosed. I dodged the arrow easily enough, closing the next few feet toward him in a rush. I decapitated him in a single stroke.
Other goblins were nearby, and they all broke, attempting to melt back into the forest. I gave chase, soon spotting another one of them. Using Lore told me that he was only a level 3. That wasn’t nearly the caliber of goblins that I’d run into before.
Taking a moment, I reviewed the corpse of the dead goblin. Lore didn’t work on dead bodies, but I could root through his equipment. He had a hunting bow and several broadhead arrows that did additional Damage to animals. He was a scout.
“How many scouts do you think they have?” I asked Shart.
“Who knows?” replied the demon. “I’m spell checking for them now. There aren’t any more nearby, but the range on my spell isn’t that good.”
“I don’t smell any, but, if we find some, we should kill them,” stated Badgelor. He was sitting on my other shoulder. His strength was not long range movement, and, even in his larger War Form, his all-out movement was just short of a jogging man’s speed. That left him small and angry on my shoulder, sniffing wildly in search of targets.
We had a choice. Keep running down the road, or break through the woods? I knew of paths through the trees that might get a few of us to Windfall quickly, but it would be slower with the entire group that I had with me. We would be stretched out over rough terrain, with multiple points that would be rife for an ambush.
“We’ll have to stay on the road,” I yelled over to Zorlando. “At least until they push us off properly. Be ready for more surprises.”
He nodded, and we continued running down the road. Within a minute, SueLeeta caught up to us. She had the Sprinting skill and could move more quickly than Fenris. He was caught up to the rear of the formation. I didn’t see any reason to leave him back there with as quickly as we were moving. I put him at the point of the formation and signaled for SueLeeta to move into the left side of the road. I took the right, and we both pressed forward.
I ran into a second group of goblins shortly thereafter. They were well hidden, but I still spotted them with Perception. Without that skill, I still would have spotted them. The flight of 5 arrows that were launched at me was a dead giveaway.
Defenses against multiple attacks were complicated on Ordinal, but they made sense if you realized the entire world was a bit of a game. The five arrows were coming at me, and, if I tried to Dodge all 5 of them, the Stamina cost would be excessive. The base cost of Dodging an arrow was 4 points, but a second arrow cost 8 Stamina to Dodge. I third arrow would cost 12 Stamina. The costs kept multiplying, and the totals were added together. Dodging 3 arrows cost 24 Stamina!
Blocking with a shield, on the other hand, had a set cost based on the impact of the weapon on the shield. Arrows were considered light impacts and only cost 2 Stamina to block
. At my current skill level, I could only block two arrows.
Parrying was based on the speed of the attacking weapon, but I couldn’t parry arrows. I didn’t have the perk, yet, so I didn’t know the costs for that defense.
The trick is when you had a layered defense. The
A flight of arrows was launched at me. Two smashed against my shield as I effortlessly dodged the remaining three. The goblins panicked. There was still enough distance between us for them to have another go with their bows, or they could flee. They chose to flee. Several dropped their weapons as they ran off into the forest. I could chase them down, but I needed to clear the area for the column. I continued searching for new threats, as Badgelor loudly admonished me for not taking the murderous opportunities before me.
SueLeeta, as a Hunter, had two clear advantages in this race. She could jog silently while in the woods that she favored, and she could shoot accurately while moving. She spotted her first group of goblins before they spotted her. Using her Multi Shot talent, she struck 4 of them with heavy shafts. All four perished. SueLeeta next took a moment to put an arrow in the back of the one escaping. She did all this without changing her stride.
Among other things, I had been neglecting my Archery. That was yet another mistake that I’d have to correct. My broad base of skills was still an asset, but I needed to be more thorough.
We kept going for another 15 minutes. The town’s barrier was directly down the road. The men were unhappy about not being given a rest, but we had been lightly jogging, not all out running. They might not have been happy, but they were at least capable of fighting. It was a good thing, too, because that’s when we laid eyes on the first large group of goblins.