by Ryan Rimmel
“I smell organs,” exclaimed Badgelor, as he popped his head out from a freshly made hole in the ground. “Hey, you didn’t say we were having kabobs! I could sure use a snack.” He ripped the heart from my sword and retreated underground with it.
“Hurry up Badgelor,” I growled as the goblins and I continued fighting.
“Sheesh, I’m just checking to see if you can handle yourself,” called back the badger before vanishing underground.
While the alarm had been sounded by the goblins, their standing orders were to expect an attack from Windfall. Most of the little ones had seen the arrows coming from the direction of town and had headed that way. They moved toward Fenris’ militia in preparation for battle. Fenris had gotten close enough to launch a single rough volley at the goblins, before the greenies had pulled back further than Fenris’ orders allowed him to move. The goblins had even more dead lining the road now, though. I wondered if they were appropriately concerned about this turn of events.
The Shadow Goblins had entirely ignored the militia, instead focusing on the cauldron. Their attention demonstrated the pot’s importance more than anything else. The rest of us pesky humans were of no concern to them.
While I was holding off my party of Shadow Goblins, Zorlando was leading his Mercenaries dutifully towards the cauldron. Their better armor would provide ample protection against anything that a handful of goblins could do. The Mercenaries had already run into a small pocket of goblins on the way over to the slope. The goblins had been smashed to bits as the hired killers ran past without stopping.
The bright red flash of sudden casualties in my vision was an unpleasant surprise. I leapt back from my current battle to get eyes on the unexpected situation. It was the other 10 Shadow Goblins. Two of the five goblin groups had vanished, and we were all so busy dealing with the ones that came after us, that we didn’t stop to analyze where the other two groups went. They had used some kind of skill to move around the cauldron and hide until Zorlando’s men got there. The Shadow Goblins had come out of hiding and ambushed them.
In the span of a few bloody seconds, 3 Mercenaries were dead and 6 more were wounded. Three of those injuries were severe. Zorlando had managed to fend off a Shadow Goblin, only sustaining a minor injury. Every goblin was encased in shadows and striking at his unit from all sides. As I watched, another of his men collapsed in a fountain of blood. He had taken an elongated dagger to the neck. I was certain he would not be getting back up.
“It’s now or never,” I stated to no one in particular, before bellowing, “FOR WINDFALL!”
You have used the power Rallying Cry. Your forces gain 45 temporary hit points, +45% Damage and Stamina Regeneration for the next 60 seconds. There is a 10 minute cooldown on this ability.
Have you ever seen a man, with a fountain of blood shooting out of his neck, unstop a healing potion, drink it, and shove the bottle’s cork into his own wound? It's mildly impressive. Several of the wounded men got right back into the fight, including one of the men I was pretty sure had already died. The unwounded men had 45 temporary hit points that allowed them to be quite reckless in their attacks, much to the Shadow Goblins’ displeasure.
Also displeasuring the goblins was the sudden surge of men gifted with an overabundance of Stamina. They all began executing one high energy attack after another, at a rate that would have normally been impossible. In an even battle, Zorlando’s Mercenaries might have defeated all the Shadow Goblins, or at least been able to drive them off. The battle wasn’t even, though, and, for the next minute, the Mercenaries had a decided advantage. They also had Zorlando, who knew how to fully use that advantage.
With that situation being handled, I was relegated to dealing with my three remaining Shadow Goblins. They were busily attempting to gut me. They caught up to me in moments and attempted to surround me in their shadowy forms. I grabbed the first one’s spell and caused the shadows to dissipate. The goblin swore, as I executed a strike. He used his Shadow Dodge to avoid it.
That would eventually wear him down, if I could continuously focus on the same goblin. I couldn’t. While I was attempting to strike one, another managed to slice his knife across my leg.
You have suffered 8 points of Piercing Damage from dagger, 37 temporary hit points remaining.
I felt a flash of pain, and blood squirted from the wound. The fountain of red quickly tapered off. The temporary hit points had absorbed the Damage. If I were to describe that feeling as anything but unnatural, I’d be lying. I wasn’t wounded, though, so we danced.
Another goblin rushed toward me, so I grabbed the shadow spell and attempted to dissolve it. This time, as I grabbed hold of the magic, the goblin yanked it from my grasp. Protecting an active spell was much easier than attempting to sword fight while trying to break your opponent’s spell. While I was distracted, he scored two lesser wounds on me. I still had a pool of temporary hit points, so they didn’t really damage me. I still felt next to nothing.
You have suffered 18 points of Damage from twin sword strikes, 19 temporary hit points remaining.
I knew he must be in the mass of shadow, so I decided to cut through the whole damn thing. I activated Hack and Slash and waded into the shadows, swinging wildly with both swords. The first swing found nothing but air, but the second impacted on something. I saw a bloody patch on the ground and realized that I’d knocked the goblin away from me.
Your target has suffered 24 Damage (16 base - 4 Defense + 2 Sword Master + 25% Hack and Slash X 37.5% (War Leader)) points of Damage from a Soldier’s Longsword. Target has failed his Bleed resistance check. Hack and Slash on Cooldown for 16 seconds.
Damage Breakdown: Target has suffered 24 Damage, 21 Slashing Damage, 3 Severing Damage. Armor reduces 4 points of damage one category. Total damage 4 Damage, 20 Slashing Damage, 0 Severing Damage. Target has suffered a bleed effect, 10 point bleed over 15 seconds.
I rolled to the side, narrowly avoiding another strike. I was right on the edge of the slope. It wasn’t quite as poetic as having my back up against a wall, but it was close enough. Two of the Shadow Goblins attempted to engage me again, but I was actually holding my own. When I’d realized how to defend against them, it made their strategy much less effective. That’s when I heard the strange hissing.
They had grenades. I mean, one of them had a chemical weapon before. Shart said it was some powerfully good shit, so I didn’t see why chemicals caught me off guard now. Still … they had grenades.
It landed right next to my feet. The last thing I heard before the explosion was Shart. “Oh, shit,” he yelled, and left my shoulder.
I’d had just enough time to begin leaping away, and the goblins had just enough warning to move away. I was still knocked backward, landing on the slope. Before I could tumble down, I drove my shortsword into the earth, creating a furrow that stopped me.
You have taken 68 points of Concussive Damage caused by a Goblin Grenade, 19 points reduced by temporary hit points. All Temporary hit points removed. Concussive Damage is resisted by the total of your Fire and Defense score. You have 15 points of Damage Resistance and no Fire Defense. You receive 28 (34 total damage -6 mitigate) points of Concussive Damage. You take 0 (total damage 3 - 3 Mitigate) points of Damage from shrapnel. Stun canceled for 5 Stamina. You are burned and bruised. 302/330 HP remaining.
Your familiar was also in the blast radius. He has 100% immunity to Fire Damage. He is resistant to Bludgeoning Damage. Your familiar take 2 points of Damage from shrapnel.
“Well, that was unpleasant,” stated Shart, as he flew back over to me. “I took 2 points of Damage!” The demon looked at me, and continued, “Oh, it looks like it was just as unpleasant for you!” I flipped him off with two whole, middle fingers, and scrambled up the hill. I again heard the hissing.
I saw the grenade flying through the air. It was headed straight for my face. I could see the fuse; it was just about gone. It had been perfectly thrown and was going to knock me straight out of the fight… unle
ss.
Dropping my longsword, I grabbed Shart by his tail. I twisted quickly and brought him up like a shield. The grenade flew into his open, screaming mouth and vanished into the abyss. The demon simultaneously burped and farted.
One of the Shadow Goblins suddenly fell to my feet, clutching his throat. I couldn’t see anything that would have caused such a dramatic display. I sniffed. Oh. My. God.
Because Shart was my familiar, I wasn’t impacted by the demonic poisons that his strange little body concocted, even if they were the worst things I ever smelled in my life. The combined odor was worse than even the cauldron’s contents. Flipping my sword off the toe of my boot, I caught it. In one motion, I drove it through the Shadow Goblin’s belly.
I strode toward the final two, but they darted away. All fear the big, powerful, wielder of swords, cloaked in the scent of demon gas. As I turned to locate Zorlando, I realized that we had another problem.
Zorlando and his Mercenaries had gotten clear and were rolling the cauldron down the hill. The goblins were parting around the unit, as my hired men smashed through whatever remained. All was good, except from my vantage point. I could clearly see the cauldron still sitting right where it had been, next to the mine. My men were pushing away an illusion.
I looked around, finally spotting her. One of the Weird Sisters was here.
Chapter 67: Things get Weird
Jim
HP 302/330
Stamina 287/325
Mana 80/80
The Weird Sisters were goblin bogymen. They were powerful casters who occasionally ventured over the fortress wall to procure supplies from the world outside the valley. I had barely survived my previous run-in with them. I was much more powerful now, but I wasn’t sure how much of a difference that would make. They kicked my ass last time. As such, they were the only goblins more terrifying than Shadow Goblins. At times, they seemed to be everywhere at once.
Now one was here, ruining my plans. I glanced over to the mine entrance. Small cracks were forming over the entrance, but they didn’t seem very threatening.
“Time to get serious,” I stated calmly.
Shart looked over, “You weren’t serious befo…” He was cut off by my hand being jammed into his mouth. The inside of Shart really was a magical wonderland. Right now, I needed to retrieve a crossbow that I had previous stored inside the demon.
Taking aim at the sister casting the illusion, I prepared a Power Shot. Crossbows were a mechanical instrument, so doing that would lock out my Stamina bar for a few seconds. The results would be terrific, though. The shot amplified the damage by a factor of 5, and I was close enough to aim the weapon right at her ugly face. I expended 45 stamina in that single shot that should have ended her.
Unfortunately, I’d forgotten that the Weird Sisters travel in groups. As soon as the bolt was released, a shielding spell snapped into existence next to the casting sister. The bolt slammed into it, causing a spider web of cracks to appear on the generated shield. Ultimately, it failed to penetrate. She did stop casting her spell long enough to look at me, leaving Zorlando to realize that his men were pushing an oversized log down the trail.
As soon as the goblins saw that the Weird Sisters were going to personally deal with me, they cleared out. There were good reasons for doing so. Mainly, the Weird Sisters were highly ranked and were going to magic me to death. The goblins knew it was best not to get in their way.
“It seems that all this din...,” began the first, ugly sister. A large boil on her nose bobbed up and down as she spoke.
“...is caused by the fool known as Jim,” finished the second, uglier sister. She was repulsive, even by goblin standards. She had uneven eyes, more boils than I could count, and a very odd third boob.
I recall cursing Past Jim, the fool, for not using Lore on the sisters the last time. I had learned my lesson. I activated it.
Mucky’Puck
HP: 120/120
Stamina: 60/60
Mana: 200/200
Perk: Illusion Aptitude
Perk: Void Aptitude
Skill: Illusion Magic: Journeyman
Skills: Void Magic: Initiate
Skills: Mana Control: Initiate
Unsurprisingly, she was a caster of some sort. She was an Illusionist who also knew void magic. Currently, she was holding a pulsating orb of pure darkness and smiling at me with crooked teeth. I’m sure the other sister was around somewhere, but she had disappeared.
Void Orb: Void (Disintegration) spell. Damage 60-90, High Velocity, Immune to Environmental Constraints. Complex Spell. Cost, 32 Mana.
“What’s void?” I asked Shart, as I read through the spell’s effects.
“The area in your head where your brain should be,” replied the demon.
“What does it mean in a magical context?” I clarified, through gritted teeth.
“It’s the opposite of everything material,” he replied, after a moment. We had a few of those, due to menu time. I could see that Mucky’Puck had already cast the spell, but I had time to consider my options.
“I guess I’ll just put up my personal barrier and hope for the best,” I stated.
“Against a 90 point spell?” chucked Shart. “What are you hoping to do, blow your Mana pool?”
“My barrier won’t work?” I asked, more than a bit startled.
“Well, if you had a void barrier, maybe it could absorb the damage. You don’t, so no,” replied Shart. “You are overthinking this. A void spell disintegrates matter.”
“I’m made of matter,” I replied.
“Everything is made of matter, Dum Dum. Block the spell with something durable,” stated the demon.
Coming out of menu time, I held up my longsword. The weapon had 78 of 80 Durability. I waited the eyeblink for the spell to hit me. For good measure, I tried to slice the orb in half. If I was going to go out, I was going out in style.
The sword slammed into the orb, which promptly ruptured and spread out over the blade. My longsword’s Enduring quality allowed it to only take half Durability Damage from any source. With my masteries, that Damage was further reduced. The spell should have caused 90 points of Damage to my sword, destroying it utterly. Instead, it caused only 22 points, much to the wide-eyed amazement of Mucky’Puck.
Had she been the only sister, I would have been fine. Unfortunately, while she was casting, so was her sister. I didn’t see the blast of fire that was rapidly approaching me. If not for Shart, who finally decided to be useful, the spell would have struck me at full force. Fortunately, with his warning, I was able to react, bringing up my glowing green barrier. The firebolt struck and began burning through the barrier.
“Why are you using a fart barrier?” screamed Shart. “You have fire as your Second School! Change your barrier to fire!”
When I first learned the Barrier skill, I’d only known Air magic, Biological Aeromancy, if one wanted to be technical. Since air was the only power I could manifest, my barrier had been built from that. Searching through my Mana Cores, I found that my Fire Core was now active, as well as the parts of my soul that let me cast fart magic. I switched the barrier to fire, and the result was instantaneous.
You have gained an additional Talent point in the Barrier Talent.
Pity you can’t assign talent points in combat.
Instead of the fireball digging into the barrier, it began to be repelled. The spells acted like two magnets with the same pole when they are pushed toward each other. The firebolt flashed off into the distance, costing me virtually no Mana. I grinned as the two sisters stared at each other.
“Swords and spells, a Mage he be?” called Mucky’Puck.
“He sneaks and strikes. What do you see?” called the second sister.
“A dead man,” replied the third, as of yet, unseen sister. If the first two were ugly, she was almost… cute? All the warts and other various blemishes on her person were in notable abeyance. She had smooth green skin that was evenly colored, short black hair,
and at least some impression of feminine curves. Compared to the two gnarled hunks of crap that were her sisters, she was at least a 3, a veritable supermodel in goblin terms. Don’t get me wrong, she still wasn’t very attractive. She was decidedly on the short side, but, in comparison, she was mostly alright.
I heard a rustling, crunching sound to my side and glanced down the slope. The grass was forming into a rope. It slashed at me like a whip with great speed. I Dodged, but it still managed to grab my ankle. In one powerful stroke, the makeshift whip slammed me to the ground. I landed so hard that I thought my teeth had come loose. My sword went flying. I took 52 points of Damage. I staggered back to my feet, only to experience the exact same attack again for only 47 points of Damage.
As I stood up a second time, I gestured toward the stalk and called, “F’Poof.” A small sphere of fire smashed into the cord. It snapped mid-slam, so I was only sent flying. I was not brutally smashed into the ground again. Fortunately, I had Mobility. I landed in a roll and rushed back toward the sisters.
“Rune,” called out Shart. That was the functional equivalent of yelling out ‘Eggplant’, because I had no idea what he was talking about. Runes exploded, which I discovered as soon as I stepped on one. The explosion hurtled me skyward in a blast of flame causing an additional 44 points of flame damage.
I quickly glanced at my health
Jim
HP 159/320
Stamina 211/325
Mana 80/80
Injuries: Foot, exploded, -25 percent blah
“They explode, you nimrod,” called out Shart, as I landed in another roll. I was attempting to favor my less injured foot now. One of the sisters began slinging flame bolts at me, while Mucky’Puck was preparing another void spell. I spared a glance at the mine and saw that the cracks were now medium sized. They were also still expanding. They had spider-webbed all around the front of the mine.