by Ryan Rimmel
“Close enough,” replied the Shadow Goblin. “Chal’dor’sic is impressed with your mind. Chal’dor’sic will eat it last, to savor it.”
“I don’t think we’ll be speaking again,” I stated. “GowenDoud, I hereby remove you from the village. You are no longer a citizen and have no privileges. I do this as the mayor of Windfall.”
GowenDoud’s face paled. He was useful to the goblins as a mole; he was useless to the goblins as a tailor. Goblins were freaky little nudists, for the most part.
“You can’t do this!” he screamed. “You don’t care about the town or its people. You are just an Adventurer, and you will leave us the first chance you get. I’m saving the people! By letting the goblins take over, I can guarantee our safety.”
“No, you can’t. You can’t trust goblins. They will always betray you in the end,” I said calmly. HIs utility to their cause ruined, GowenDoud was already being looked at appraisingly by Chal’dor’sic. I guessed that the tailor would be dead in five minutes.
“It's not supposed to be like this,” he shrieked, sensing the sea of hostility surrounding him. “I’m the hero here. I’m trying to save my people.”
“No, you are not,” I said. “This is all about you. You know what’s best, and you know what’s right, even when you’re wrong. What you were planning would be a wretched, doomed existence for everyone.”
“I’ll kill you,” he screamed. “I don’t care! I’ll find you somehow, and, when you least expect it, I’ll kill you!”
“You don’t get it, GowenDoud. To you, I’m the end boss, standing between you and all your hopes and dreams. To me, you are just another mob. Goodbye.”
I was a friendly sort, though. I didn’t want him to leave empty handed. I reached into Shart’s belly and pulled out the orb from the puma’s den. I let it drop through the barrier, landing on the top step with a hollow sound. “My gift to you.” Kicking it, I yelled, “Catch.”
Shart’s extradimensional space caused life energy to fade away, making him the perfect bag to hold the Glitch. The enormous amount of life energy that the
The orb glittered its evil green light as it hurtled toward GowenDoud. The traitorous tailor caught it, possibly believing it to be some sort of salvation from the goblins. It was not. GowenDoud shrieked and dropped the orb the moment he touched it. The Glitch was a gift to him, though. It was not an attack, so the barrier stayed active. Chal’dor’sic’s hate-filled eyes were the last thing I saw as I closed the door. It took 30 seconds for the supercharged life energy explosions to begin.
The
Within moments, I’d hit level 5 in Mage. It was only my access to menu time that allowed me to slow down sufficiently to see what was happening. Even in menu time, the experience bar continued to fill quickly, as several goblins were dying each second.
Mage, it turned out, had three subclasses. A Mage Lord was capable of casting from 3 schools of magic. A Mage Knight was a melee caster hybrid. A Spell Sniper was focused even more heavily on a single school of magic than a normal Mage.
Given my earlier school choice, Spell Sniper was a poor fit, unless I wanted someone to fart most spectacularly. Mage Lord would allow me to learn a third school. However, I had no spells to choose from.
That left Mage Knight. Given all my troubles with magic, the idea of just hitting things with my sword and getting magical experience was appealing. I glanced through the Mage Knight perks. The perks there synergized well with the rest of my class, so I selected it.
Level up, Mage
Specialization selected, Mage Knight.
You gain one rank in Endurance and Willpower.
Your Hit Point total is increased by 10. Your Mana is increased by 20.
You gain the ability, Attuned Blade
You gain the talent, Magical Warfare
Magical Implements is replaced by Improved Magical Implements and increase to Initiate
Biological Aeromancy Skill increases to Initiate
Firemancy Skill increased to Initiate
With my fifth level choice completed, I didn’t have to make any other choices right away. I switched out of menu time to wait. The explosions continued for nearly two full minutes. When all was said and done, I’d hit level 13 in all my classes, including Mage Knight.
You have learned the sub skill, Magical Trapmaking. It is affiliated to your Trapmaking skill. You have achieved the Journeyman Rank. In this hat, I have a rabbit… and a fireball.
Level up, Duelist is now Level 13. You have unallocated Perks, Talents and Stat Bumps.
Level up, Adventurer is now Level 13. You have unallocated Perks, Talents and Stat Bumps.
Level up, Beast Master is now Level 13. You have unallocated Perks, Talents and Stat Bumps.
Level up, Mage Knight is now Level 13. You have unallocated Perks, Talents and Stat Bumps.
“I didn’t expect that much experience,” I said, I had a mind boggling number of perks and stat bumps available. This was going to take a while to process.
Shart looked puzzled for a moment. “The
I was earning experience points on a per goblin basis. However, as my level outstripped the goblins, they were worth less and less. I’d stopped at level 13 in all my classes because the highest level goblin was level 8. You couldn’t earn any experience on kills for an opponent 5 levels or less below you.
“There were a lot of goblins down there,” I said, trying to gauge how many had died in the cellar. It must have been a significant chunk of the goblin’s total army.
Shart said nothing, so I walked back over to the cellar door.
When I opened the door again, the first thing I noticed was the floor. It was noticeably further down than it had been, and the stairs were gone. The barrier had protected the town proper, but anything underground had been blown up. The orb was still visible, though just barely.
“Shart, could you go get that?” I asked. The demon nodded, flying down through the energy field with no ill effects. Life energy didn’t seem to impact him at all. He grabbed the orb and shoved it back into his belly. He looked around in amazement before flying back out of the cellar.
“There were hundreds of them,” stated Shart as he tried to adjust around the orb, “The orb is unstable now. I don’t think you should use it again.”
“Alright,” I replied, surveying the devastation. That orb was a weapon of mass destruction.
“They all had coin on them,” Shart added speculatively. “This will probably end any short term issues that the town had with money.”
“Now, let’s deal with the rest.”
Chapter 72: Final Victory
Capturing the other two cauldrons while Durg fought the goblins had been easy. I’d never ended the war party, so Fenris and SueLeeta both got a chunk of experience from the underground kills. Both of their levels raised to 13, despite them not actually being nearby when my trap went off. This also had counted as a major victory, further leveling up anyone in the party that had the War Leader talent.
Fifty human warriors could easily crush one hundred goblins in the best of times, but with my Rallying Cry, we were unstoppable for short engagements.
We smashed their forces, grabbed the cauldrons, and ran. Even the Weird Sisters that were present seemed confused and not up to the task. They had been protecting against SueLeeta’s spying and Badgelor’s digging. They were not prepared for a frontal assault.
The battle between Durg and the goblins was o
ngoing, even after we’d taken both cauldrons. When it finally ended, it had ended inconclusively. More than three quarters of the bandits perished while taking out nearly 1200 goblins.
Once Durg had enough, he retreated with the remains of his forces. The goblins began a clumsy pursuit, hobbled by their own laziness and shorter legs. By the time they had gotten back to the fortress, Durg’s army had been reduced to just 82 men
That’s when the goblins finally broke off.
The bandits had attempted to bar both gates on their way through. They had also left about 15 bandits behind to hold the fortress. I hadn’t had time to spare, but I thought that the Windfall guards assigned there had probably stayed inside the well-fortified keep.
The guards had not. The head guard, DarrienGareth, had lowered a rope down on the outside of the wall. Ten refugees, awaiting passage through the gates, climbed up the rope to the top. From the wall, all 10 refugees and 5 guards had ruined the bandits’ day. By the time they were finished, the Western Fortress had been retaken.
Thus, Durg’s plans were further ruined. He found the fortress held against him and the pitiful remains of his army. They attempted one attack against the wall, which left a third of his remaining men dead. Durg retreated again, heading north to parts unknown.
With the goblin army shattered and the fortress retaken, I’d been able to completely restore the barrier. I did so by standing in the Town Hall, resting my hands on the lectern, and thinking about it really hard. The barrier expanded slowly at first, gradually picking up speed as it grew. Without any enemies to stop it, the barrier was soon restored to its former majesty.
By the time I was done with the task, the Town Hall was packed. Fenris was sitting with Jarra the Healer on his left. She was tending to several wounds that he’d suffered while leading the charge for the second cauldron. Avasophia sat on Fenris’ right. She was so proud of her husband that she forgot to be angry with me. JoeClarance was sitting with Kappa, who was eyeing Badgelor cautiously. EveSophia had managed to hide herself in her mother’s skirts. The little girl stuck her head out and grinned broadly at me, before hiding again. SueLeeta was sitting next to Zorlando. She wore a patient expression while he gesticulated wildly.
I smiled, looking around. Mar was standing to my right, taking notes with a piece of charcoal and a tablet. EstherSasha was sitting with JohnMickle. He was drinking an ancient jar of preserves. JohnMickle perhaps liked preserves too much. OttoSherman was sitting by EdithGretta, both looking tired but very happy.
“My friends, we have survived a terrible ordeal,” I said, because a speech was in order. “Through the combined might of our brave militia, our Woodsmen, and some Mercenaries, we were able to defeat the goblin threat surrounding Windfall.”
“It was not without loss,” I said solemnly. “Several of us perished in the battle. Valiant members of the militia, additional refugees who came to us seeking protection, and three Mercenaries were lost.”
“We were attacked by goblins, because they wanted what we have. The goblins had control over Windfall for years, and they did nothing. They left the town to rot. It was only when you diligent people came that anything was done to restore this place. It is because of you, and your hard work, that we are able to see the great potential of this city again.”
“Tomorrow, Fenris and Zorlando will head to Narwal with our trade goods. Windfall’s future will be secure and prosperous. The actions of all were required to get this great task performed. Our continued efforts will be required to keep it going. Despite our setbacks, we will persevere.”
“Because of you, we were able to destroy the goblins and the bandits. Because of you, we will be able to defeat anyone else who comes for us. No one will take what we’ve earned through sweat and blood. No one will take what is ours.”
“Because no one fucks with Noobtown.”
Chapter 73: Epilogue
Bashara walked calmly down the well-appointed hallways of the great Castle of the Lions. It was from here that HarCharles ruled over a fifth of the world. Despite her beauty, his loyal men ignored her as they moved from hall to hall. They were, as ever, discussing the war between their king and the hated Kingdom of TimSimons. The palace grew more and more opulent the closer Bashara got to the throne room. Finally, she reached her destination.
HarCharles was not in attendance, of course. He was in the field, preparing for the next stage of his campaign. His presence, or lack thereof, was of no consequence to Bashara. Her meeting was not with the king. She was meeting with the Ruler of this part of the world.
Walking through the throne room, Bashara spared little thought for the ornate gold and marble that surrounded her. She cared not for the stained glass, reflecting brilliant colors on the floor where she walked. She continued past the throne, sparkling with every gemstone imaginable.
Bashara’s destination was a small antechamber where HarCharles’ beloved queen would prepare herself for court. The room was glorious, befitting someone of her royal station. The large gold looking glass on the wall was said to show the viewer what she needed to see the most. Bashara took a moment to admire her flawless skin. She collected herself before speaking to the queen.
Bashara quietly got down on her knees. From there, she could see the tiny cat statue that the good queen had left in the room. Its eyes were lit a deep purple. From there, Bashara could be properly submissive to the old bitch.
“Sphinx of the Black Quartz, judge my vow,” Bashara intoned and waited.
For a moment, nothing happened. Then, the room began to darken, despite the abundance of natural light being let in. The room seemed to fade, until it entirely fell away. Bashara was aware of only herself and the mirror. After a moment, the mirror flickered, showing HarCharles’ queen. She sat on her throne of black quartz, smiling a sickly sweet smile.
“Bashara, my dear, how was your mission?” she asked in tones as sweet as honey. “I dreaded sending you out so far into the frontier, but you are all I can trust.”
At least some of that was probably true, thought Bashara, before she replied. She raised her face slightly, not enough to make eye contact, but enough that she wasn’t talking to the ground. “I have investigated Durg. He is not the one we seek,” Bashara said.
“Pity that,” stated the Sphinx, as she looked down at Bashara. “You know I cannot stand your illusions. Dispel them, or I shall.
Bashara released the spell. The old scar suddenly became visible on her face. “Yes, Sphinx, the rest of my investigation turned out no better. However, I did run into the mayor of Windfall.”
“Windfall,” the Sphinx chuckled. “Is that city active again?”
“It must be. Their mayor is a lower level Adventurer, but he is skilled enough. He was cutting his way through the bandits that I was assigned to,” replied Bashara. She considered her next words carefully. “I allowed him to capture me, as I had determined that Durg was a dead end.”
The Sphinx considered that for a moment, “Good enough. There are more leads to follow up with, and Durg was a long shot. There are several more castles in the Riverlands that will need to be reviewed.”
“Yes, Sphinx, I live to serve,” stated Bashara steadily. The fury of the Sphinx was legendary. She had broken HarCharles, and he had been level 54. Bashara had heard childhood tales of heroes that had managed to get to the lofty goal of level 60, but those were myths. She wasn’t sure what the Sphinx’s level was, but it was certainly higher than her own.
“There is a castle in Windfall. Did you manage to get into the valley?” asked the Sphinx. For the first time, Bashara began to sweat.
“I did. The mayor took me to the Western Gate Fortress, where I was released. He mentioned goblins, so I went into the valley on a brief search. All I found were level 1 and 2 wolves and a few level 2 goblins.”
“No Shadow Goblins?” the Sphinx wondered.
“None,” replied Bashara. Not that she had explored too far into the Noob zone, but a Shadow Goblin would have killed ev
ery new Adventurer who ever lived.
“Perhaps the mayor is the one we seek?”
“His name was Jim,” answered Bashara flatly.
“Perhaps not, then.”
“I earnestly hope not,” said Bashara.
“Well, then,” declared the Sphinx, “I have several more castles for you to investigate. We will find the body of the Shadow God soon.”