by Karen Kelley
“Cooking dinner,” he said, as if I should’ve known what he was doing.
“Did you forget where your apartment was? You don’t have to cook for me, you know.”
“I hate eating alone,” he said by way of explanation.
“Really? It doesn’t bother me in the least.” I might as well set some boundaries. Right now, he was crossing way too many.
Ignoring me, he turned and opened the oven door. Wonderful aromas wafted up to my nose. I couldn’t stop myself from inhaling a little deeper. Whatever he was cooking smelled delicious. The cook in me wanted to know exactly what it was.
“What are you making?” I finally asked as I tried to peer around him to see what was in the oven.
He didn’t answer until he removed the dish and set it on the stovetop. “Mexican casserole.”
I walked near the stove. “I wasn’t asleep that long,” I told him.
“It’s a simple dish and doesn’t take very long. Ground beef, ranch-style beans, canned tomatoes, cream of mushroom soup, cheese, and chili powder. That’s it. I guess you could say it’s more of a goulash than a casserole. At least, the way I make it. I always have it with salad and toasted French bread.”
“And you cooked it?”
He looked around. “Besides you and me, do you see anyone else in the kitchen?”
Now he was just being a smartass. I cocked an eyebrow and stared him down, except he walked closer to me, then leaned down and brushed his lips across mine. For a moment, I was lost in the taste of Layne. All too soon, the kiss ended.
“Of course I cook. I actually enjoy it. At one time, I’d thought about opening a restaurant. Maybe someday I will.”
“To go with the coffee shops, the vineyards, and the housing projects? Oh, and being a paramedic.”
“You think it’s too much?”
“How should I know?”
“Yeah, maybe that’s why I haven’t opened one yet,” he said, then nodded toward the cabinet. “Grab us a couple of plates and we’ll fill them, then go to the table to eat.”
Layne was not only a cook, he was a damned good cook. After we finished eating, we both cleaned the kitchen. Now I was surprised. Not only could he cook, but apparently he could clean as well. His mother must be an amazing woman. She’d definitely raised him right.
“That was delicious,” I told him. “I’m sorry I zonked out on you.”
“You went through a lot of emotional trauma today. Sometimes our body shuts down so that we can recharge. You suffered a shock this morning, and you needed to slow down and process it.”
“And you took care of me. I haven’t had anyone take care of me in a very long time.”
“I know.”
He poured us each a glass of wine, and we carried it to the living room, sitting on the sofa next to each other.
“How are you feeling?” Layne quietly asked.
I hesitated, then sighed. “I’m scared. What if I find out he moved on with his life and decided to forget all about me?”
“That just doesn’t sound like the father you described to me.”
I nodded, but I had a sinking feeling whatever I learned wouldn’t be good. But just for a moment, I saw my father on the street walking toward me. When he closed the gap between us, he’d wrap me in a warm hug, and everything would be fine again.
Except that was just a fantasy. Stuff like that didn’t happen in real life.
Chapter 14
Layne
Over the next few weeks, Fiera seemed to be running on autopilot. She didn’t screw up or anything, but it was as if she was somewhere else. I knew she was thinking about her father and still wondering what had happened to him. I wished that I could help her. I wished I could tell her everything was going to be okay, but I knew that might not be true.
Dammit! There wasn’t a fucking thing I could do, and I knew it. Knowing that was tearing me apart on the inside. I wanted to smash my fist through the wall. It wouldn’t solve anything, and I also knew that. My anger was slow to cool. I closed my eyes and drew in deep breaths until I felt a shred of calm steal over me.
I could be there to pick up the pieces, and that might be all I could do. Jeremy had hit one dead end after another, and was still no closer to finding the truth. The company her father had been working for went under when the owners got divorced. He’d tracked down the husband, but all he remembered about Nolan Murphy was that he was a good worker.
Once, the owner had talked about his wife and the problems they were having. Nolan told him about his. He remembered Nolan saying he didn’t seem to be able to make her happy.
That was about the same time the owner’s wife served him with divorce papers. Nolan would’ve been in Texas about that same time on business. Yes, he had met a business owner in a town only a few hours away from Rush, but after that—nothing. When Nolan didn’t show back up to work, the owner thought maybe the same thing had happened to him, and then didn’t think any more about it. The divorce got ugly, and he’d been forced to shut down.
Jeremy had speculated that maybe Nolan had changed his name, then tried to lose himself. Maybe he started a new life. It wouldn’t be the first time something like this had happened.
Jeremy would keep looking, but so far, all his leads turned out to be dead ends. With each passing week, Fiera distanced herself more from everybody. Even Zoey had commented that Fiera seemed to be closing herself off. The harder I tried to reach her, the more she pulled away.
Ah damn, I was starting to care too much. I didn’t want to be the one who hurt her the next time. She’d been through too much pain in her life. I paused with my key in hand. Maybe that was what she was doing. Making sure no one else would be able to hurt her.
I walked into my apartment, tossing my keys on the table. For once, it had been a quiet shift. We had one call shortly after midnight, then none after that. I closed my eyes, listening. There was only silence.
I couldn’t take it anymore.
I left the apartment, knocking on her door.
“Go away,” was Fiera’s muffled reply.
“I can’t do that,” I told her.
“Sure you can. It’s easy. You just turn around and go back to your apartment.”
“Or I can keep knocking until you open the door.”
The door suddenly opened. “Did you not get enough of being around me during our twenty-four hour shift?”
“Was that you? I never would’ve guessed it. You don’t smile, you don’t laugh, you’re just there. I refuse to let you close yourself off from everyone.” I walked inside her apartment then turned and faced her. “I refuse to let you run away.”
“Why?”
“Because I care about you.”
She raised her chin and stubbornly glared at me. “I’m not going to hang around forever. Jeremy hasn’t found out anything. It’s as if my father disappeared off the face of the earth. Everything about him was a lie.”
“You don’t know that. Jeremy is still looking. He’s still chasing leads.”
“And eventually, he’ll run out. I’ll know nothing more than I do now. It’s as if I’m trying to find a ghost. Maybe I am. I’m just tired of looking. If he cared enough, then he would’ve found me.”
I could feel the pain that she was holding back. I walked to her and put my arms around her, pulling her close. She was stiff at first, but then she finally began to relax.
“I don’t really care if I find him or not. I’m just curious. That’s all.”
“I know.” And I did know. With each passing day, her hope began to fade. I didn’t tell her that Jeremy was running out of places to look. I was pretty sure that would be her undoing. She was so damned fragile, and I was afraid she would break. “Let’s get out of here for a while. I want to show you something.”
She leaned back and looked up at me. “What?”
“The house I’m going to buy.”
“You’re going to buy a house?”
“From my brother. I want
to change a few things. I could use another opinion. So, what do you say? Want to go for a drive?” When she didn’t say anything, I continued, “The drive will do you good. It’ll get your mind off of everything else.”
Still, she hesitated.
“Please.”
She sighed deeply. “Yeah, okay,” she reluctantly agreed. “But I want to change out of my uniform.”
“Good idea. I’ll do the same and meet you back here in ten minutes.”
She nodded, but her heart wasn’t in it. I only hoped she didn’t change her mind. Not knowing what happened to her father was slowly sapping her strength. Maybe if I took her out to see the house, she’d find some part of herself again.
At least, that was my plan. The captain was right. I wanted to fix all of Fiera’s problems, but I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to.
She was quiet on the way out to my brother’s house. I’d called ahead and told him I would be there. Ryder had said that would be fine. He and Samantha were at my parents anyway. Good, I didn’t think Fiera would be up for company.
It was about a twenty minute drive out to his place, and she didn’t speak a word the entire time. She only stared out the window. It didn’t matter. At least she was out of her apartment. She straightened when I pulled into the circular driveway and stopped.
“This is the house you’re going to buy?” she asked, then turned to look at me.
“My brother moved out. He’s living down the road with his wife in the house that he built for her.”
“This is a mansion.”
I smiled. This was the most reaction I’d seen from her since Jeremy started looking for her father. “I wouldn’t exactly call it a mansion, but it is a nice place, and it’s in the country. I like how peaceful it is here.”
We got out of the truck and walked toward the house. I unlocked the front door. Ryder had given me a key about a month ago.
“I was afraid it might be too much for one person, but it seemed to suit my brother. He said after staying in so many hotel rooms, this was like his spot of paradise.”
“It has a grand staircase,” she said. “Like in a fairytale.” She blushed.
For a brief moment, I saw a part of her that I was pretty sure she didn’t show very often. I knew there was a little girl still inside of her with hopes and dreams. Just as quickly, the curtain was drawn, and the little girl disappeared.
“It’s nice,” she said. “What’s upstairs?”
Sudden heat flooded my body, but not the sensual kind as I thought about my brother’s bedroom. I didn’t even want to think about it. No one wanted to picture a family member having sex.
“Just bedrooms.”
She studied me for a moment, then started up the stairs. “I think I want to see them.”
I groaned. “No, trust me, you don’t want to see the master bedroom.”
She glanced over her shoulder and smiled. “Now I know I want to see it. Is it like fifty shades or something?”
I started after her. “No, my brother’s not into that sort of thing.”
“You’re sure about that?”
My forehead creased as I thought about it. “I don’t think he is. Do you know what you have me thinking about right now? My brother having sex is not a vision I want stuck in my head.”
Her laughter trailed after her. For the first time in a long time, I could feel myself begin to relax. If my discomfort made her think about something other than her past, I guess it was worth it.
She stopped at the top of the stairs. “Which way?”
“If you insist on seeing this through, then to the right.”
“Oh, I do.” She turned to the right and opened the door to the master bedroom, going inside. “Oh, there’s a bearskin rug on the floor in front of the fireplace.” She glanced over her shoulder. “That’s not so bad. The bed is massive.”
She trailed her fingers across the bedspread. I held my breath. When she looked up at the ceiling, my breath came out in a whoosh. She started to laugh.
“There are mirrors on the ceiling.” She looked at me with a wicked grin. “That’s very sexy.”
I looked at her, then at the bed. All I could picture was my brother having sex on that bed. That was enough to cool my heated thoughts. I turned on my heel and marched toward the door. “When I buy the house, I’m changing that damn bed.”
She was still laughing as we went downstairs. When we went into the living room, she slowed her steps, admiring the fireplace and the big comfy sofa. We spotted the remote at the same time. I casually walked toward the remote, but she made a grab for it, and beat me to the punch.
“What’s this for?” She pushed a button and the lights dimmed. Another button and the fireplace came on, and another one started soft music playing. She laughed before pushing everything off again. “I can see why you want this house. It was made for seducing a woman.” She waltzed out of the room.
I followed, mumbling behind her. “That’s not why I want the house. I want it because it’s peaceful.”
“Just keep telling yourself that, and maybe you’ll even start to believe it.” She began to laugh again.
Again, I told myself this was all worth it.
She peeked into the dining room, but continued toward the kitchen, coming to a dead stop as she stood in the doorway. “Oh damn, the kitchen is amazing.” She walked farther inside, running her fingers lightly across the stainless steel stovetop. “It’s a gourmet cook’s kitchen. Everything is state-of-the-art. I bet your brother loved cooking in here.”
It was my turn to chuckle. “He can make omelets and sandwiches. That’s about it.”
She turned toward me, eyebrows raised. “You’re kidding, right?”
I shook my head. “Nope, I’m the only one out of all of us who cooks. I have to admit that Jaxson has been taking lessons, so he’s not bad. I’m not sure Ryder ever used the oven.”
“What a shame. This kitchen is heaven.”
I walked over to the French doors and opened them out onto the patio. Then I looked at her expression. She was entranced with the backyard. I was too the first time I saw it. Ryder had a sprinkler system so the grass was green and there were large oak trees dotting the scenery. There was an outdoor kitchen and a fire pit area.
“You can’t see it from here, but behind that privacy fence is a swimming pool. He didn’t want animals wandering in and possibly falling into the pool.”
“It’s breathtaking,” she said. “When are you planning to move here?”
I shrugged. “There are a few things I want to change in the house.”
She grinned. “Like the bed?”
I frowned. “You’re not going to let me live that down are you?”
She shook her head, then laughed.
“My brother has a well-stocked freezer. Why don’t we spend the day here? Not think about anything. Just relax and enjoy the day. We can even go swimming in the pool. There are always extra swimsuits.”
For a moment, I thought she might refuse as darkness once again shadowed her eyes, but then she slowly nodded.
“I think I’d like that.”
Her gaze was soft as she turned it on me. For a moment, I couldn’t think or speak. She was breathtaking as she stood in the doorway with the sunlight streaming around her.
Dammit, I didn’t bring her out here for sex. I damn sure didn’t want her to think I had. It was hands off today. I wanted her to relax. So no, I wouldn’t touch her.
Chapter 15
Fiera
Layne had been nice, polite in fact, all day. We walked along the paths. We went swimming. Then we grilled steaks. Layne was a fantastic cook, and we discovered we could pull together a great meal.
But as we sat on the patio enjoying a glass of wine, I realized how relaxed I felt. There was only one problem. Layne was holding himself away from me. As I looked around, I realized what the problem might actually be. Layne came from money, and he’d built his own small empire. I didn’t have much more than t
he shirt on my back.
Layne also came from a big happy family. I didn’t have any family to speak of. Even then, my mother had been an alcoholic and drug addict. I didn’t know what the hell happened to my father. I knew without a doubt that I wasn’t good enough for Layne. It wasn’t difficult to figure that one out on my own. Nothing would ever come from our relationship.
Knowing Layne, he would probably want to remain friends, but his kind didn’t get serious about someone from the other side of the tracks, and that was exactly what I was. Eventually, he would settle down with someone better suited for him.
Not that I was even thinking about marriage or anything. No, that was the furthest thing from my mind. I’d been on my own way too long to commit to anyone long term. He was damn good in bed, though. I think he enjoyed making love with me.
Which made me wonder why he hadn’t even attempted to kiss me since bringing me out here.
“What are you thinking about?” he asked.
“Why you haven’t kissed me.” If nothing else, I was always direct. If he wanted to end it all now, I was fine with that.
Yeah right, sure you are.
Okay, maybe I wasn’t ready to end my relationship with him. I enjoyed his company. That was the only reason. I might’ve believed in fairytales at one time, but those fantasies had pretty much gone out the window when I walked in and found my mother with a needle still in her arm. That was a huge dose of reality. So, there had been no more fairytales after that. I’d take what I could get from Layne, then leave. No regrets. Maybe some damn good memories to keep me warm until the next man crawled into my bed.
He came to his feet and took my glass before pulling me into his arms and crushing his lips to mine in a heated kiss. It seemed like forever since he’d held me like this. It felt so right to be in his arms, and when the kiss ended, we were both breathing hard. I needed him now more than ever.
“Make love to me,” I whispered.
I gasped when he scooped me into his arms and began carrying me toward the house. I couldn’t help it, I began to laugh.
“You’re acting very Rhett Butler,” I said.