Thinking about it now, maybe it would serve them all right, to die. Fucking rot in the hell they helped to make. All it would have taken was for us to stand as one and say no. When I think of all those guards, with their greedy hands on my skin, their fingers prying and pawing at my flesh, the beatings, the starvation, the lies and fear, torture and humiliation, I could just as well turn my back on all of them for never helping me. I think of Lee’s face, his fake regret as he dished out his punishment to people, to his so-called citizens.
I grit my teeth. “I’ll tell you who’s lucky,” I whisper.
Fallon turns to look at me with a huge grin. “Yeah?”
“You.”
“Me? How so?” He stops smiling and seems genuinely confused, like a dog chasing a ball that was never thrown in the first place.
“Yeah, you. All of you. You’re all fucking lucky that I’m handcuffed to this chair and don’t have my machete, because if I did,” I look up at him through my wet lashes, the anger burning a cesspit of hate in my stomach lining, “if I did, I’d cut your ugly fucking head off and feed it to the deaders.”
He stops smiling, a rage glowing behind his eyes.
I look down at my legs; the blood from my face is dripping off the end of my chin and onto my skirt. I can feel the burn of the knife wound as I flex my face, testing out my mouth’s movements. “Who do you think you are?” I look up at him. “You don’t know what it was like behind those walls. Who are you to judge anyone, you piece of shit?”
“Sweet mother of God, you have death wish?” He whistles through his teeth.
I grin, hiding the wince of pain from my cheek. “Nope, I just don’t care anymore. I’m sick of men like you trying to rule me, trying to be the boss of me. I control me, and my fate. So if you’re going to kill me, get on with it. This isn’t a James Bond movie, and I don’t give a shit about your sick plan to destroy the walled city and the people inside it. Most of those people would be better off dead than trapped behind there anyway. Your family was a hell of a lot better off out here than in there. So you go right ahead and do what you have to.”
I keep my eyes fixed on him, my body rigid even as he raises his knife up to me again. I can’t wait to be rid of this world. I close my eyes and pray I see Ben again soon.
The pounding of feet in the hallway outside forces me to open my eyes back up, just in time for the door to slam open.
Two men run in, dragging a third behind them.
“We got a breach, boss,” says the first guy, a blond-haired, intense-looking man. He helps to lay the injured man carefully on the floor.
“He bitten, Malcolm?” Fallon, moves away from me, only glancing backwards once. He goes to look at the man on the floor.
My eyes connect with Mikey’s. He mouths sorry to me. He looks broken, like he’s half the man he was several hours ago. In my eyes, he is. He was a part of this. His handsome face makes my skin crawl, and the sickening thing is—I know I still love him, regardless.
“Yeah, boss, left shoulder.”
“What the fuck are you bringing him in here for, then? Kill this fucker and get on with fixing the breach.” Fallon turns back to look at me. The two men that dragged in the injured man look at each other uncertainly.
“Boss, this is Noel. He’s a good guy.” Malcolm steps forward.
Fallon swings around to look at Malcolm again. “Correction—that was Noel. Now he’s a dead man,” he spits.
“But…”
Fallon kneels down in front of Noel abruptly, takes his knife, and plunges it through Noel’s skull before anyone knows what is happening. Noel’s hand reaches for the blade a second too late, and then flops back down to his side. Blood pumps out around the hilt of the knife, and Fallon takes it in his grip, one hand on the side of Noel’s dead face, the other wrapped around the knife, and pulls it out of his skull.
“I hate having to do the grunt work.” He stands, wiping the knife on the side of his pants and walking toward me in one easy fluid motion. “Now, where were we?”
Forty-Two.
“Fallon, man, you know I won’t help if you hurt her any more. I’m done.” Mikey’s voice goes up a notch, which is good, since my voice has deserted me. My badass attitude has up and fled for the day. “I mean it!”
‘I mean it?’ What is he, like five?
Fallon keeps walking toward me regardless of Mikey’s words, and I think my heart might hammer a hole in my chest at any time; at least it’ll save Fallon from having to do it.
“Please—please don’t, god, I’ll do anything, fucking anything, but please don’t hurt her,” Mikey begs.
Fallon stares at me for a long time. I don’t know if he’s actually considering what Mikey has said, trying to frighten me some more, or if he has actually zoned out and gone off to la la land. Either way, I’m about ready to pee myself in fear—okay, and I just need to pee, as usual.
“Take her to holding.” He continues to stare at me while he talks to someone else in the room. I’m lost in la la land with him now, and can’t seem to drag myself away, even as someone is unlocking my cuffs.
Emily is crying continuously when they lock me in an empty, dark room with her. So much so that I ask her if they have done anything to her, but she assures me that no, they haven’t laid a finger on her, she was just worried about me and Mikey.
I’m touched by her concern, and worried about how she is going to be when Fallon does decide to kill me. Because without a doubt, he is going to. I’m not stupid. Mouthing off at him just about sealed my fate, and if it wasn’t for poor old Noel, I would be dead now. Thanks, Noel. And uh, sorry, I guess.
Emily cleans my cuts as best she can using some material from her shirt. We can’t dress it and there are no mirrors to see the damage, so I can only go off her assurances that it isn’t as bad as it looks. Strangely, that doesn’t fill me with a lot of confidence. Go figure, huh.
We curl up together on the cold, bare floor, our arms wrapped tightly around one another, and for the first time in a long time, I realize that I’m frightened—not just zombie frightened, but the fear-of-the-unknown frightened. These are not good people. They are angry, bitter, and messed up in the head people, and I have no idea what is going to happen to us. I worry for the people in the walled city, I worry for Mikey and what they are going to do to him, and I think of the friends we have lost.
“You can’t tell anyone that you’re from behind the walls. I mean it, Em, you don’t breathe a word of that to anybody ever again. You survived by pure luck, if anyone asks. You recount our journey, only I found you at Old Man Riely’s house, in his air-raid shelter. You were safe there and there was no reason to leave. That’s what you tell anyone, that’s what you tell everyone. You got it?”
Emily nods, and continues to sob. If I manage to live through this, which seems highly unlikely, I’m going to teach this girl to grow some balls. She’s too soft, and unfortunately she’s reaching an age where she’s going to be more than just eye candy for men. She needs to toughen up quick if she is going to survive.
“I’m going to miss Britta,” Emily’s voice whispers up to me in the darkness.
“Me too,” I reply sadly.
“She was so brave, trying to help you and fighting Crunch.”
“Yeah, and look where it got her.” I regret saying it instantly. Not only do I sound ungrateful that someone lost their life for me, but I’ve upset Emily now. Britta was her friend, and mine. “I’m sorry, Em.”
“It’s okay, I know you don’t mean it. She really cared about you, she said that you were one of the good ones.”
“What does that mean?” I ask, speaking into her hair. I don’t want to let her go; I need to keep her close, for her sake and for mine.
“I have no idea, but she said that you would save us all.” Emily’s arms tighten around me.
“Well, clearly she was wrong,” I whisper, more to myself than Emily.
This has turned out to be the worst day ever. From waking
up I’ve nearly died over half a dozen times. I mean, that’s way more than my usual ranking. We’ve lost yet another home, yet more friends, god knows what they are doing to Mikey or what’s going to happen to us. My face hurts, and Emily’s hair is sticking in the dried blood, but I don’t move to get it out. Exhaustion finally takes me, and I give in to sleep, though it is by no means a restful one, but one filled with nightmares and sadness.
I dream of blood, and death. Friends, family, loved ones, hated ones. Everyone dies. Sooner or later, everyone dies. The dead will rise and eat you alive.
I wake up shaking and dripping in sweat, still wrapped in Emily’s arms. I can hear breathing from behind me and flinch away as a hand touches me. Whimpering, I cower and pull Emily to my chest.
“It’s okay, it’s me, Nina.”
Mikey’s voice is soothing, and I release Emily and turn to look at him. It’s dark, but I can see well enough to tell he’s taken a beating. Instinctively I reach for him, wrapping my arms around him and pulling him to me. We stay holding each other for a long time, until the tears I didn’t know I was crying dry up, at the very least.
“I’m so sorry I got you mixed up in this, Nina.” He pushes my hair back from my face.
“It’s not your fault—well, it is, but…shit, I’m sorry. I don’t know what to say, Mikey. How could you ever be with these guys?” I hold his hand, trying to show him that I’m not judging him, not anymore. Too much has happened, and it feels like we’re too close to death’s door for all that pettiness now.
“I—I met them when I couldn’t get behind the walls. There was a bunch of us with families, they said it was full, any more would cause overcrowding.” He takes a deep breath. “I had my little girl with me, she was six. They wouldn’t even let her stay, no matter how much I begged and pleaded with them. They had a database of names, and my name was on the list—it was a prison list. I’d been to prison for a couple of stints, and because of that, my little girl couldn’t be safe. We’d traveled so far to get to one of those fucking cities, and then they just turned us away. The dead were everywhere, and there was nowhere else to go. Then Fallon turned up with his family; he had a big-assed army truck and told me we could go with him.” Mikey stops and takes another breath, his hand clutching at his ribcage.
“We traveled for a while, meeting up with other people that had been turned away from the cities, helping them. Our convoy got bigger and bigger until we found—this place.” He gestures around us and looks up at me, his eyes glistening. “That’s when it all went to shit. This place was infested, but we didn’t realize it when we first got here. We staked out the place as best we could when we arrived, it seemed secure, and pretty clear for a small town. We moved everyone in, all of our families. Then one night, we were overrun by deaders. I don’t know what attracted them, the noise or what, but one minute it was all fine, and then the next there were hundreds of them.”
“Like in the woods?” I ask, thinking of poor Steve and his chickens.
“Yeah.” He nods his head. “Just like that. It seems like they’re attracted to noise and smell. They must have heard us all pulling up, the smell of us all attracted them and brought them right to us. They killed over half of our group—most of the children and wives.” Mikey swallows and clears his throat. Even in the dim light, I can see the tears trail down his cheeks. “I lost my daughter, Rosie. I was out fighting, left her with one of the other mothers and her kids, and when I got back, she was…”
I throw my arms around his shoulders and hug him as tight as I can before he winces and I loosen my hold.
“I’m so sorry, baby. I’m so sorry.” I kiss him and hug him hard again, finally letting him go.
“It’s okay, I’ve made some sort of peace with it now.” He shrugs, and I know he’s lying.
“So what happened next?” I ask.
“Fallon went berserk. He lost his wife and three kids that day, sent him over the edge. He started blaming all the lucky ones for being able to get behind the walls. He started wanting revenge, talking about breaking into the walled cities and killing everyone inside. Talked about taking down the government, and being in control ourselves for a change.”
“That’s where you come in?” I ask, already knowing the answer. I’ve seen Mikey’s skills, I know to some degree what he can do.
“Yeah,” he nods. “That’s where I come in. I made the mistake of telling him what I used to do for a living.”
“You were just a small town thief, though—a bad boy, you said.” I half laugh at the comment, and hiss as pain stings my face.
“I was, but I got better at it,” he smirks. “I started out small time, breaking and entering, and then moved through the ranks until I got noticed and hit the big time. Seems I had a skill for it.”
“You say it like you’re proud,” I say.
“Well, yeah, I am. I can break into anything, any time, any place—any vault, any door. Didn’t matter what the job, it was me they called. When the world went to shit, it was me who got us into safe places, all until this place.” He shakes his head sadly before continuing. “I was as angry as them too at first. I wanted to make them all pay, but we couldn’t get near the cities. When anyone got too close…”
“They shot them,” I finished for him.
“Yeah. So we waited. Watching and waiting for the right time. We watched the drops get less and less frequent behind the walls until they stopped altogether, and then we had to find the other way in. In the meantime, Fallon started going crazy, got more and more twisted, until all he talked about was killing. Whenever we went on scavenger hunts, if we ran into people that had been behind the walls, he’d promise to help them and then kill them…but believe me, death was the final thing for them, and they were all grateful for it by that time. He got sicker and sicker with what he was doing, and I started to realize that it wasn’t anyone’s fault, and I didn’t want to be the one to put all those people to death, so I ran. That’s when I met the others—and then you, and you told me what it was really like in there.”
“Wait, the other way in?”
I feel Mikey shrug the way he does. “Yeah, there’s more than one way in. Always has been, it’s like a secret entrance.”
“Obviously,” I mutter. “But then why seal up the main door if there was another way out after all?”
“No idea. To make you all lose hope? To stop anyone from trying to break in. No one was supposed to know about the other entrance, but they had to have an escape route.”
It still doesn’t make any sense. We were all starving in there. Lee said that even he was starving, that it was too dangerous to open up the main door again and try and find food because the deaders would get in, but then if that’s so, why would there be another entrance?
“So what now? Do you know where the secret entrance is?” This could be a total game changer. If there was a way in and out, we could all have somewhere safe to go after all. Well, once we got rid of Lee.
“Of course I know where it is. I’m the only one who does, which is why they needed me so much.” Mikey beams, suddenly happy again.
“Why would Lee let us all starve instead of sending people out to find food?”
“Lee?” Mikey raises an eyebrow at me.
“He was our Bossman,” I mock.
“He’s obviously just a coward. Too frightened to put himself at risk. Most leaders normally are.”
It all makes sense now—how such a simple, bland little man like him was in charge, why he was always so severe with everyone: he needed the fear to control everyone, to stop them from wanting to leave. He told us all that the world was rotted and black, but in reality it is very much alive, though still as dangerous as ever. But there was still food available out there, and with an army like his, it is more than possible to protect the citizens. I think I feel more hate for Lee right now than I have ever felt before. I want vengeance, and I want him to suffer.
“Maybe if we explained to Fallon what it’s like in
there, maybe I could talk to him, get him to understand?” I plead.
“No, he’s too far gone.” Mikey takes my chin in his thumb and forefinger, trying not to touch the cut that runs down my face. “He doesn’t care who he hurts, or who dies. The only way to stop him is to kill him.”
I snort. “Looks like we’re shit out of luck, then.”
“Not necessarily. I still have friends here.”
“Didn’t seem like it when they were ready to let us die by the roadside,” I bite out.
“No, not them guys, they’re just as bad as Fallon. They lost too many people, they’ve been too brainwashed by him. But there are others. Others that I think we could convince to stand with us. The thing is, this place is pretty damn secure now. A few more tweaks to the security and we could be safe here for good. That’s what everyone wants these days. Not vengeance.”
Maybe things aren’t as bad as I first thought. Maybe there is hope for us, for Emily. I look at her curled up. Her eyes are open and she’s watching us with tears in them. I hadn’t realized that she had woken up and heard everything.
“You okay, Em?” I ask, my hand stroking her head.
“I will be.” She sits up, her arms going around both me and Mikey. “Once we kill Fallon.”
I flinch. Those are words a child should never have to speak—murder, death, killing. But this world has made it all a part of her life. In order for us to survive, for her to survive, she’s had to grow up, and quickly. If we don’t stop Fallon, and soon, she’s going to lose all her innocence. All her purity. And without our children having those things, what type of world will this be? Surely not one worth living in. There has to be certain things in the world—hope, innocence, love. And all those people, behind those walls, what about them? This world isn’t safe for them, but surely they deserve better than what they have.
Odium (The Dead Saga.) Page 31