Liam nodded.
Coach looked over to Cody. “You?”
“Yes, sir, fine.”
“Good. All of you go home, and I’ll forget this happened.” He looked over to Mark and his buddies. “Go!”
The three attackers sauntered off down toward the infield.
“Get that lip looked at Hartley.” Coach walked off back toward his office.
Cody walked over to Liam and extended his hand. Liam took it and was hefted up to his feet. “You sure you’re okay?”
Liam nodded, pulling his gym t-shirt from his now-torn backpack. He pressed it to his lip.
Cody leaned in to look at Liam’s lip. “You might need stitches.”
“Not going there.”
“Your mom isn’t going to be happy about this.”
Liam looked down onto the football field at their attackers. “Fuckers.”
“Language!”
Liam looked back over to Cody and began to laugh. “You should be talking!”
They both broke out laughing.
Cody nodded toward the street. “Let’s get you home and get some ice on that.”
They made it to Liam’s house. Cody stopped at the porch. Liam looked over his shoulder at him.
“Am I, you know, welcome?”
Liam nodded. “You’re welcome. My parents aren’t fire-breathing haters. They’re having a hard time with this, sure, but they don’t hate anyone.” He gestured with his head. “Come on in.”
Liam led the way to the kitchen, sitting his backpack down on the table. Cody grabbed a kitchen towel and some ice. “Here.”
Liam put the ice on his lip. “Thanks.”
“I thought I heard voices in here.” Liam’s mom stepped in from the living room. She stopped short when she saw Cody. “Hello, Cody.”
“Good afternoon, Mrs. Hartley.” Cody stepped aside so she could see Liam.
“Liam! What happened?”
“Fight at school. No big deal.”
Sarah tilted Liam’s head up to look closer at the damage. “It looks like it might need stitches. It’s still bleeding.”
“I’ll be okay, Mom, really.”
“And what were you fighting about?”
Liam ducked his head. “Just a fight.”
Sarah stepped back, her gaze going back and forth between Liam and Cody. “Oh, I see.” She addressed Cody. “Are you hurt?”
“A bruise or two, but nothing else, ma’am.”
Sarah nodded. “Okay, good. I need to get dinner started. Liam, you should get working on your homework. Cody—”
“I need to get home. Just wanted to make sure Liam made it home okay.”
“Thank you, Cody.” Sarah placed her hand on his shoulder. “I appreciate you caring about him.”
Cody gave her a smile. “He’s easy to care about.” He looked around Sarah to Liam. “See you later?”
Liam waved. “Yeah, see you later.”
Cody headed out the front door as Liam grabbed his backpack. “I’m going to take some aspirin and lie down.”
“Dinner’ll be ready in about an hour.”
“I’m not really hungry. I might come down later and get a snack if that’s okay.”
Sarah nodded. “Sure. Let me know if you need anything.”
Liam trudged up the stairs and tossed his pack on the desk, just now noticing items were escaping out of the hole. He shoved everything back in, not worrying about homework at the moment as he took some aspirin, then collapsed into bed.
A FEW hours later, Liam snuck down the stairs, really needing something to drink. He’d been through the wringer, that was for sure, and all the stress and anger had done a number on him. He was parched. He poked his head out of his bedroom, and all seemed quiet. The kitchen night-light was on, and there was no sound coming from the living room. A quick glance to his parents’ room showed it was dark as well. Seemed everyone had indeed turned in early.
He quietly traversed the stairs and rounded the corner to the kitchen, only to be confronted with his mother sitting at the kitchen table, holding a picture and crying. She sniffed and dabbed at her eyes as she looked up.
“Liam.”
“Mom.”
The air grew heavy in the silence. Liam could hear his heartbeat in his ears. His mom studied the picture in her hand. He wondered what it was, maybe a picture of him as a baby? Back when they thought they had a normal son? It wouldn’t do any good to speculate. Someone needed to make the first move.
“I’m sorry for making you cry. I’m sorry I’m a disappointment.”
Sarah didn’t take her eyes of the picture. “You’re not a disappointment.”
“I’m everything you hate.”
She looked up. “Oh, hon, no. I don’t hate you.” She patted the table next to her. “Sit, please.”
Liam grabbed a bottle of water from the counter and sat down next to his mom. He drained half the bottle, ignoring the pain in his lip.
Sarah put her hand over his. “You’re my son and I love you. So does your dad. We’re having a little trouble dealing with your, um, revelation, but that doesn’t negate everything else.”
Liam let out a breath he was holding. “Then why are you crying?”
“I realized I’d been fed a load of bullshit for quite some time.”
Liam almost jumped out of his seat. He’d never, ever heard his mother swear. Not a “hell” or “damn” or even “darn it.”
“Sorry, I’m upset.” She showed the picture to Liam. It was the one Cody had taken of the two of them during their camping trip. “I found it on the stairs. I guess it fell out of your backpack?”
Liam nodded.
“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you happier. And in love. It’s the love that literally pierced my heart. I didn’t think I could ever see it between two men, but there it is, in stunningly bright colors staring me in the face.”
Liam fingered the edge of the picture, but let his mother keep holding it.
“The church is wrong. Love like this can’t be a sin.”
“You’re changing your convictions based on a picture?”
She turned the picture back to herself, running her index finger over it. “This is a picture of a part of me. You’re a part of me. This is my son, being loved, in love. How can a mother deny that? How can anyone not see it? How dare any church tell me my son is an abomination? If this is an abomination, send me to hell.”
Of all the things Liam expected to hear, this was not it. Nowhere near it. Like not in a billion years it. He felt tears welling up in his eyes, a relief running over him. His mother accepted him, accepted who he loved and had left her own long-held beliefs behind. He twisted in his chair so he could hug her, tears freely running down his face.
They held each other for long minutes, the clock in the kitchen softly ticking away the moments. Liam loosened up to look at his mother. “Thank you.”
“There is no thank-you necessary, sweetie.”
Liam sat back in his chair. “How’s Dad doing? He hasn’t talked to me much in the past couple of weeks.”
“I will admit, he’s still a little shaken. I think between the way it all came out, so public, and the questioning of his own feelings, he’s having a bit more difficulty coming to terms with it. He is a very private person, you know.”
“I know, and I’m truly sorry for that. I lost it at the banquet. I can’t… I can’t imagine my life without Cody. And I want to be with him.”
Sarah tenderly brushed Liam’s swollen lip. “And the fight today? About Cody?”
“Three guys tried to jump him, and I stepped in.” Liam looked down at his hands. “Mom, I-I’ve been trying to push my feelings down, keep them in check. It’s been hard.” Liam rubbed his hands together, gathering up his nerve. He’d come this far, he needed to confess to someone. “I’ve been cutting myself, using the pain to cope.”
“Oh, Liam, no.” Sarah stared to cry again.
“Don’t cry Mom.”
“I’m a failure.”
“No, Mom, you’re not. I-I was just a coward. I couldn’t be with Cody the way I wanted and all the—” Liam hesitated. He was being as open and honest as he could. Everything was pretty much out in the open and really, his mom couldn’t believe he’d not have some sort of sexual outlet. “All the self, um, pleasuring I gave myself wasn’t helping. In fact, it was making me feel more guilty. The cutting gave me a release that wasn’t so overt.”
“Do you need to see a doctor?”
“No, the cuts were shallow, and I made sure I treated them.”
Sarah patted his arm. “I don’t know how to handle this.”
“I think now that everything is well, out, the cutting might go away. I don’t know. I haven’t felt the need to cut for a few days now.” Liam finished the rest of his water. “So now what do we do?”
“First, you’re going to go talk to someone.” She put her hand up as Liam was about to protest. “Someone of your choosing. I want you to be comfortable with them and I want you to be able to discuss anything with them. You need to go into the city for it, I’m good with that. But getting into fights, cutting yourself, those things aren’t healthy.”
“I was defending Cody, you know.”
“I get that, but you did punch him around at the banquet if I do remember.”
Liam sighed. “I’m not normal. I don’t feel normal.”
Sarah tucked a stray piece of hair off his face. “Honey, you are normal. Your acts aren’t. And I don’t mean the act of loving someone, I mean the acts of hitting and cutting.”
“After the past few weeks—I feel kinda relieved everything is out in the open.”
“Nevertheless, I want you to see someone, so if any of those feelings come back, you can confront them head-on.”
Liam ducked his head. “Okay.”
“I need to know that going to school is safe for you. This fight, this is an anomaly, right?”
Liam shook his head. “I honestly don’t know. No one’s really talked to me or Cody much. I’m not sure how all this is going over.”
“You might be surprised. Teenagers these days seem to be more accepting. Your generation is much more open.”
“That may be true on the whole, but remember where we live.” He paused and glanced around the kitchen, taking in every little piece of his life that was evident. The height chart on the doorframe, the plaque of his handprint from kindergarten hanging on the wall, the first place ribbon he’d won in the eighth grade science fair on the refrigerator. His past, his history, surrounding him. “I’ll be off in college in eighteen months.”
Sarah handed the picture back to Liam. “It’s way too soon for my taste.” She smoothed back his hair and smiled. “You’re growing up so fast. You look like a man, but you’ll always be my little boy. I need to know you’re safe. I’ll always worry about you.”
“I know. I never want to make you worry.”
“So, school?”
“I just don’t know, Mom.” Liam looked his mom in the eye. “Can I plant a thought in your head? I want to go with Cody.”
“Go with Cody?”
“Transfer to his school.”
“Liam, you just can’t move in with strangers.”
“They aren’t strangers, they’re Cody’s family.” Liam placed his head on his mother’s shoulder, something he used to do as a child. “I’m not asking for a decision now, just for you and Dad to think about it.”
“I’m not promising any decision right now, but I’ll think about it. We, as a family, should sit down and talk. This isn’t a decision to be made rashly. This might all blow over and you can finish school here.”
“I can only hope it’ll become yesterday’s news and soon. Cody said it’ll go away once there’s another scandal. Seems like there’s always something happening.”
Sarah gave him a smile and a little laugh. “I guess that’s one way to think. Not a fan of scandal, but you’re right, something else will garner the school’s attention eventually. Let’s not worry about transferring or moving right now. Study and get good grades for this semester. Only a couple more weeks to go.”
“Of course.”
“There’s a sandwich for you in the fridge. Eat something, then get some rest. I’m heading to bed.” She kissed him on top of his head and left him to his thoughts.
Liam ran his finger over Cody’s face in the picture. He was certainly surprised at his mother’s reaction. He only wished his father would see that love had no gender. Maybe in time.
He ate his sandwich, then headed back to bed. Everything may not be all right with the world, but at least it was a little better now that he felt his mother was on his side.
Chapter Thirteen
SUNSHINE HIT Liam in the face. He brought his hand up to wipe off the spit that had pooled while he slept. His lip protested, and he shot up out of bed. The previous night’s events came rushing back.
He carefully rubbed his face with his hand. He could hear his mother downstairs in the kitchen. While they had had a good talk, his dad was still the wild card. Other than very polite requests to do household chores, they hadn’t spoken of Liam’s “issue” since that first week. Maybe he needed to try once more. He slipped on a pair of sweats and a t-shirt and headed to the kitchen.
His dad was at the kitchen table, sipping coffee and reading the morning paper. Liam hesitated for a moment, wondering if the gossip section was going to be all about him and the previous day’s fight. His paranoia was running in overdrive. The town wasn’t going to be concerned with a schoolyard fight that lasted all of thirty seconds, but still. He had pretty much made the decision to run back to his bedroom when his dad called out.
“Liam. Please, sit.”
Okay, his dad’s voice wasn’t full of anger; it was calm. Like he was going to ask Liam to help with some yard work today. Very even and nonaccusatory. Liam proceeded into the kitchen and sat down next to his father. His mother kept busy with making what looked to be blueberry pancakes.
“How’s the lip? Your mother told me you were in a fight yesterday.”
Liam absentmindedly touched it. Yep, still pretty tender. “I’ll live. Been hit harder in football.”
“But usually not in the face.”
Liam shrugged.
Steven nodded. “Your mother told me about your talk last night.”
Liam had gotten so good at hiding his emotions over the past few months, but now, he lost it. He felt his cheeks get red out of humiliation.
“I’m sorry you felt you had to hide things, and I’m sorry I haven’t been handling the situation very well.” Steven laid the paper to the side. “I’m not a heartless Neanderthal.”
“How are you dealing with someone who seems to go against everything that’s said in church?”
“It’s been difficult. Your mother and I have done a lot of praying.”
“I never wanted to have this happen.”
Stephen sipped his coffee. “I know.”
“But I do have feelings for Cody.”
Stephen cleared his throat. “I won’t lie. I don’t understand it. I don’t understand it at all.” He poured more coffee into his mug. “Your mother mentioned a picture of you two. Can I see it?”
Liam nodded and ran back up to his room to retrieve the picture. He came back down and handed it to his father.
“Cody seems to be a most pleasant young man. Good manners, good head on his shoulders. Not too sure about his choice of hair color, but to each his own.” He set the picture down on the table. “He cares about you in the same way?”
“I’m certain of it.”
“I may never understand, and I’m not truly accepting of this lifestyle—”
Liam’s mom cleared her throat.
“Beg pardon. I don’t know if I’ll be truly accepting of your orientation. But you are my son and I love you. I want you to be happy, just like your mother does. Give me time.”
Liam leaned over and gave his dad a hug.
“That’s all I ask.”
Sarah sat down a plate of blueberry pancakes on the table. “Your father and I have talked, and we’d like to try the Methodist church tomorrow, if that’s okay with you. We feel there won’t be as much hostility from the pulpit there.”
“I never want you guys to be at odds with the church.” Liam let go of his dad. “Do Methodists believe that gay people are going to hell?”
Sarah put the syrup next to the pancakes. “I did a little research. They are accepting of all people, regardless of their sexual orientation. And no, homosexual people are not going to hell. The Methodists, however, currently don’t condone same-sex marriage, but that may be changing.”
Liam stared at his lap. “I don’t want you to have to change your church.”
Steven put his hand on Liam’s shoulder. “I don’t want to go to a church that belittles my son. I don’t want you to have to go in there and be told you’re damned. Because you’re not. God loves you.” Stephen grasped Sarah’s hand, stopping her from heading back to the refrigerator for the moment before continuing. “When we first moved here, when you were just a little baby, we were invited to the Baptist church and just kinda stayed. Neither one of us had any animosity toward any group of people. We just went with the flow. It’s only been recently the Baptists have had to come right out and clarify their doctrine on homosexuality. Fifteen years ago, yes, it was in their convictions, but your mother and I ignored it. It was easy to do, because no one was making a huge fuss over same-sex marriage and homosexual rights.”
Steven gave Sarah’s hand a kiss. “Your mother and I had gay friends in college, but it never occurred to us they’d want to change the way marriage is handled in the nation. We honestly felt they were going through a phase or ‘trying out’ something different, to rebel against the ‘man’ if you will. We never questioned the church doctrine and followed it without really understanding the real-world implications. It never occurred to us that gay people might be discriminated against, or even beaten. We just never thought that far. Naïve, perhaps, but that was the temperament back then. Moving here really isolated us to the struggles of those who don’t conform to society.”
Flag on the Play Page 13