by Louise Bay
“Too late,” Jacob said. “I’ve just called my broker and told him to go long on Astro.”
My brother was ridiculous. “Do you even know what that means?” Bloody doctors.
“Not really. But it sounds about right.”
My mother took the strawberry out of my hand and then the knife, and pushed my shoulders so I was facing her. “Tell me what happened. I thought you loved working there. Jacob, what did you say to him?”
“What’s going on in here?” my dad said, entering the kitchen and heading straight for my batch of hulled strawberries.
“Nathan’s leaving Astro,” Jacob explained.
He lifted his head in a nod and popped a strawberry in his mouth. “Very good.”
“You mean the strawberry?” I asked.
“Still very sweet. It’s the later fruit, you see. Always better in my opinion.”
My mother rolled her eyes.
“I’m going to be unemployed, Dad,” I said. I wasn’t sure he’d taken in what I’d said. He’d probably forgotten what my company was called.
“Excellent. You can help me get the cabbage and turnips planted in the garden.”
“Oh God,” Jacob said. “No one likes turnips, Dad.”
Maybe Dad was going deaf.
“I’ll have plenty of time on my hands,” I said, trying to emphasize what I was saying. “Since I’ll have no job.”
“You’ll find something, son,” he said. “You can stay here if you need to.”
My parents had no concept that I never needed to work again if I didn’t want to. But the fact that my father was so nonplussed about my giving up work was a bit of a shock. He’d worked so hard his entire career. “Thanks, Dad. I don’t think it will come to that.”
“Don’t be ridiculous, John,” my mother said. “Nathan has lots of money. You know that.”
“He could have spent it all on wine and women.”
“I’ve not spent all my money, Dad. I’m not here to ask for food or lodging, don’t worry.”
“I don’t worry about you,” he said. “Nor Jacob. The others? They keep me awake at night. Bloody lunatics, your younger brothers.”
“No, they’re not,” my mother said. “They’re young doctors.”
“Exactly,” my father said. “Lunatics. They need to be careful drinking so much.”
I’d never heard my dad talk about my younger brothers like that. But their Achilles’ heel was booze, like mine was beautiful women.
Dad grabbed a handful of strawberries and sauntered out. “I’ll go and find the seeds,” he said. “Then we’ll do some planting this afternoon. Come on, Jacob, I need someone to help me lift that crate in the shed.” Jacob followed my father out.
“Now you’ve done it,” my mother said. “He’ll have you out in all-weathers. You should have pretended you’ve got a new job.”
I winced at the idea she thought I shouldn’t have told my dad the truth. “You think he’s very disappointed?”
“Nathan Cove, why would you think your father could ever be disappointed in you?”
“Well, how many of your other sons have come home and told you they don’t have a job?”
“What’s that got to do with anything?” she asked, flicking on the kettle. “Let’s have a nice cup of tea.”
“I know I’m the black sheep of the family, always the one to cause you and Dad the bother.” I leaned into the counter, my feet unable to support the sudden heaviness of my body on their own.
“Good grief, Nathan, what are you talking about?”
“You don’t need to worry about me. I’ve got plenty of money. And Dad might have been joking but I really will find something else to do.” I had no idea what. And I knew there was no way I’d ever make something the success Astro had been. Still, I’d find a way to keep myself busy. That was the main thing.
“Of course you’ll find something to do. If I’ve ever worried about you over the years, your father always reminds me that you float to the top.” She laughed. “You remember when we took you all to the lido and you crawled off the edge, headfirst?” She looked to the heavens. “I could have killed your father. I told him you were crawling but he was too interested in pushing Jacob in.” I’d been told this story a thousand times. Apparently, my mother hadn’t spoken to my father for a week after he’d taken his eye off me and I’d careered into the pool.
“But you came up, doggy paddle in full motion, and that was it—from then on you could swim. With the other boys, they all had pool noodles and arm bands and swimming lessons. But not you. You just swam. From six months, that was it. But that’s you, Nathan.” She turned to look at me and placed her hand on my cheek. “Now you’re on to fresh adventures. That’s no bad thing.”
“Probably nothing will be as successful as Astro.”
“You can’t know that. And it depends how you judge success. Your aim should be to be happy, my love.”
“I just want to make you proud,” I said, meaning every word. I loved my parents so much. My entire family was my world.
“Well, you did that the day you were born and every day since. It’s true of all my boys.”
“Thanks, Mum,” I said, placing a kiss on the top of her head. “There’s actually something else I came here to talk to you about.”
She glanced at me out of the corner of her eye. “Is it about Madison?” she asked, smiling.
What did she think I was here to say?
“Um, no, Mum. Why would you think I was here to talk about Madison?”
A shadow of disappointment crossed her face and she shrugged. “You know Grandma’s ring is available to the first Cove son who brings another woman into this family.”
I tried to swallow down the shock. “Madison was a journalist—”
“I know. I just thought you two . . . had something, that’s all.”
I sighed. There wasn’t much anyone could get past my mother.
“Yeah, well, maybe we did at one point but . . . things got complicated.” There was so much going on in my head at the moment, I hadn’t had time to think about the implications of Madison’s article, or the fact that she might have been entirely right in her analysis of me and my tenure at Astro.
“Relationships are complicated, my darling. But it’s clear from that article she wrote that she knows you in a way few people do.”
She might even know me better than I knew myself. “You read it?”
“Yes, of course I did. I thought it was very insightful.”
“Yeah, you might be right. But we’ve not even spoken in a while. Grandma’s ring is safe for now.”
She smiled and nodded like she wanted to push me a little more but knew I needed time. I’d never contemplated being serious about a woman, and my feelings for Madison had taken me by surprise. After what she’d written, I needed to figure out what feelings were left and what I wanted to do about them. Just talking about her tugged at my chest like a toddler pulling on its parent’s hand. There was something there still.
“Did you come all the way to Norfolk to tell us you were resigning?” Mum asked.
That smile on my mother’s face was about to disappear. “No, actually, there’s something else. About Mark. I need you both to hear this.”
“Can’t find those bloody seeds,” Dad said as he came back into the kitchen. “I think the dog has had them.”
“The dog hasn’t eaten your seeds, John. It’s dead. I doubt they ever made it to the shed. If you look, you’ll probably find them still on the hallway table.”
Dad turned and headed out.
“Dad,” I called after him. “If you’ve got a few minutes, there’s something I need to talk to you and Mum about.”
“I just want to get these seeds—”
“John, sit down and I’ll make you a cup of tea,” Mum said. “Nathan wants to talk to us.”
My dad rolled his eyes but nevertheless did as my mother asked. “What is it? You need money?”
“John, shh
and listen,” Mum said, putting a cup of tea in front of both of us. She poured her own and joined us around the table. “You can tell us anything you like.”
“Got that Madison girl pregnant?” Dad asked. Mum shot him a look and he held his hands up in surrender. “Okay, I’m listening.”
“It’s about Mark.” I took a breath and it suddenly occurred to me that my parents might have given money to Mark to invest. “You never invested with him, did you?”
My mother shook her head. “It’s all I can do to convince your father to put our savings in a bank account. If it was up to him, it would all be under our mattress.”
I would have given my parents any money back they’d lost, but it was a relief to know they hadn’t been one of Mark’s financial victims.
“This is confidential at the moment,” I continued. “So, you can’t say anything to anyone. But he’s about to be arrested.”
“Mark, arrested? What the bloody hell for?” Dad asked.
“Fraud,” I said simply. “His investments are . . . Well, I don’t think he’s been investing much, if anything at all. He’s just been taking it for himself.”
My mother gasped. “Other people’s money?”
I put my hand over hers. “Yes. I’m sorry. I know it’s a shock. Turns out he’s got a number of offshore bank accounts and he’s been funneling money into them.”
“Are you telling me he’s Britain’s answer to that Madoff chap?” Dad asked.
“Yes, it looks like it.”
“Good God,” my Dad replied. “Does Audrey know?”
“Yes. The police approached her. She had nothing to do with it. Never had a clue.”
“Of course she didn’t,” Mum said. “Poor girl. So, he’s going to prison, I suppose.”
“I guess so,” I replied. “From what I understand, the evidence is overwhelming. Ultimately it will depend on the legal process. I have no idea if he’ll plead guilty or whether there will be a trial.” I shrugged. “But when the police make the arrests, it’s bound to make all the papers. You might read some not-so-nice things about him. I wanted you to hear it from me.”
My mum slid her hand from beneath and patted mine. “You’ve been such a good friend to that boy over the years.” She shook her head. “I thought our family’s influence might . . . turn him around.”
“I told you, Carole. A leopard doesn’t change its spots.” Dad took a sip of his tea.
I was surprised at how well they were taking it. “Turn him around?”
My mother slid her gaze from me to Dad and back again. “You know, after what happened at Oxford.”
It was as if my blood had stopped still in my veins. “What do you mean?”
“You know what we mean, son,” my father said. “We know you took the fall for him.”
I’d never even hinted to my parents at what had happened. Had they known all along? “You knew?”
“Of course we knew,” Mum said. “You’re our son. We know you inside-out and back to front. You’re not a cheater.”
A dam burst inside my heart and my blood started chasing around my limbs. “Then why on earth didn’t you say anything?”
“We had to trust you,” Mum said.
“You were—are—a good kid,” Dad said. “And you were trying to do the right thing. You were trying to protect someone weaker and more vulnerable than you. We were proud of you for that, even if we felt the sacrifice was too much for you.”
“It’s always a balance knowing when to step in and when to let your children go their own way.” My mother’s voice trembled. “We decided to let you guide us.”
“Although your mother almost told the dean on a daily basis.”
“I swear, John, not even the college believed Nathan did it.”
My dad shook his head. “I know. But we had to let things play out. To be honest, son, I thought you’d tell us before you actually got sent down. We all did. But you stuck to your story.”
All these years later and my parents had known all along.
“I thought Mark just made a silly mistake,” I said, pulled back into that time when I knew protecting him meant letting down my entire family. It was an impossible situation. “If I’d have known he was capable of . . . what he’s done to all those people who gave him their money, I would have made a different choice.”
My mother squeezed my hand. “Nathan Cove, I know you and I refuse to let you blame yourself for the mess Mark got himself into.”
“But if I’d just—”
“You were trying to protect someone. You’re not responsible for Mark committing fraud,” Dad said. “You gave him a second chance. We all did. And you sacrificed a career in medicine for that boy.”
“But Nathan bobbed to the surface,” Mum said. “Just like you told me he would.” My parents exchanged a sad smile.
“He’s a Cove,” Dad said. “That’s what we do in our family. You always think it’s medicine that binds us together, but it goes far deeper. Don’t tell your brothers, but I love and admire every one of you equally. Don’t think I don’t know quite how well you’ve done for yourself. But it doesn’t matter to me. What matters is what’s in your heart. And you boys all have good hearts. That’s all that counts.”
For years I’d been carrying around a sack of rocks and my parents had just turned them to feathers. It was as if somehow, I’d been set free.
Now that I’d let go of the secrets I’d been holding for so long—now that I could finally breathe easy—it was time to face the question I’d been avoiding. The question that could change everything: Where would I go from here?
Thirty
Madison
I’d been on the road since five thirty but the adrenaline racing through my body kept me awake, if not quite bright-eyed. My sat nav told me I was two and a half minutes away. Then I saw the windmill and the turning, and I knew I’d be pulling into Carole and John’s driveway in no time.
This could be a huge mistake. Or it could be the best decision I’d ever made. But when Carole called last night and invited me to breakfast, telling me that Nathan would be there and she thought that maybe we needed to talk, I couldn’t say no. I didn’t want to say no. Nathan and I had been on the brink of something special. I couldn’t walk away without apologizing in person and trying to convince him that we were worth a shot.
I turned on my indicator, the blinker sounding as loud and persistent as my heartbeat. The gravel driveway crunched under my tires. I opened the car door just as Nathan appeared in the doorway of his parents’ house, his eyes narrowed like he couldn’t quite place me.
“Hi,” I said. “I was invited for breakfast.” I shoved my hands into my pockets, scared to walk toward him. I didn’t want to see the anger and disappointment in his eyes.
He nodded. “Right. Well, you’d better come in then.”
As much as Nathan was close to his family, they didn’t need to hear what I had to say. “Maybe we could talk first?” I asked. “I have some things I’d like to say.”
He didn’t reply but instead pulled the door shut behind him and walked over to me. “We can go and see how Dad’s cabbages are doing. He’s fighting a losing battle with the snails from what I hear.”
He didn’t sound angry. But I supposed I’d never seen Nathan furious. Irritated definitely, but never enraged. I nodded and tried to catch his eye, but he glanced over to behind the house.
We walked in silence under the clear blue sky that was at least a hundred times bigger than the sky in London. I didn’t know where to start. There were so many things to be sorry for.
“I should have told you my mother is Mandy Mason,” I said as we walked.
He nodded, his stare fixed on the ground.
“I’m sorry. Things kind of shifted in Norfolk and I knew I had to tell you. I just wanted to find the right time.”
“Apology accepted,” he said, still not even glancing in my direction. Was this Nathan’s version of shutting me out? Hearing what I had to say o
ut of politeness, with the intention of shaking my hand and sending me on my way when I was done? It didn’t matter. He deserved my apologies no matter what.
“The article,” I continued. “I shouldn’t have—”
He stopped abruptly, gazing toward the trees. “Don’t worry about it.”
“Nathan.” I reached out and he didn’t flinch as I placed my palm on his arm. “I’m here to say I’m sorry.”
“You don’t need to be,” he said, glancing at my hand. “It’s fine.”
“It’s not fine.” I removed my hand and stuffed it back in my jeans. “I knew Astro was the most important thing in the world to you, and I also knew my article might take that away.”
“God, Madison,” he said, turning toward me. “Why is life so fucking complicated?”
“I don’t know,” I said. “But it is. When Craig threatened to tell Bernie about me being at your place, and you were angry with me about my mum, all I thought was, well, I might as well salvage my career out of this.”
“Did you believe what you wrote?” he asked, looking me in the eye at last.
I wasn’t going to lie to him. My stomach swooped. “I’m sorry, Nathan. I did. I do—believe every word.”
He sucked in a breath. “That I’m not up to the job?”
“That you’re entirely too good for the job. And that you’d be happier doing something else.”
He shook his head. “Fucking Jacob. I hate it when he’s right.”
I wasn’t following. “Jacob?”
“Never mind. I’m resigning from Astro later today.”
My fingers found my throat in a futile effort to hold in a gasp. “Nathan, no. They’re not going to listen to me. You can win, convince them you’re more than capable—”
He stepped back from me and started to walk again, his pace brisker this time. I had to half-run every other step to keep up.
“I don’t want to. This is my decision. I think you—and my family—might be right. It’s time for someone else to lead Astro.”
I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. He’d changed his mind about wanting to run his company? I never thought that would happen in a million years. “Are you sure?”