by Nia Arthurs
Frustrated and confused, I turn on my R&B playlist and throw myself into baking.
This is where I belong.
This is where I’m in control.
I take ingredients that don’t make sense together and turn it into something beautiful.
There’s really no better feeling.
I wonder what kind of cupcake Dad likes? I should make a batch for him the next time he visits.
The thought makes me insanely happy.
I hum and dance as I work, getting lost in the familiar motions of measuring, pouring and icing.
When I finally stop, my gaze automatically seeks Teale out.
He’s sprawled out in the loveseat. One leg is jutting off the arm while the other is planted on the floor.
I tiptoe over.
Lower myself next to his head.
He’s got his face turned toward me.
With his mouth closed and his eyes shut, he seems almost innocent.
A miracle.
Hesitantly, I trace the width of his forehead with my finger hovering over his skin. Down over his strong nose. Over his cheeks. I notice a few spots there and smile.
Teale’s got freckles.
Oh my gosh…
They’re so cute.
I move lower.
Stop my finger above his mouth.
Dull pink.
Thin at the top. Full at the bottom.
Almost as full as mine.
As I stare, those lips start to stretch and tilt up.
Frightened, I reel back only for Teale to snatch my wrist and tug me forward. Right on top of him.
I squeal.
The sound is lost in the solid mass of his chest.
He wraps one leg around me, tangling our limbs together while his fingers gather in the locks of my hair.
His heat, coupled with the slow, intimate cadence of the song filling the air sends my pulse rocketing.
Teale runs a hand down my arm. “Stop shaking, sweetheart. I’m not going to do anything but hold you.”
“Let me go.”
He looks up at me. “Do you really want me to do that?”
I bite down on my lip. The answer is no.
“You’re annoying,” I grumble.
“I know.” He presses a soft, gentle kiss to my lips. “Mm…” He licks the corner of his mouth. “Is that buttercream?”
I push his face away. “I’m taking a nap. Wake me in twenty minutes.”
“Okay.”
“I mean it. I need to take out the cupcakes or they’ll burn.”
“Go to sleep, sweetheart.”
I slowly lower my head to his chest. Squirm around. Try to find a comfortable position.
Teale grunts. “Unless you’re intentionally rubbing me down to start something, I suggest you quit it.”
I stop moving immediately.
Teale chuckles. His entire body shakes.
“Stop.” I paw at his chest. “I’m trying to sleep.”
“Sorry.”
I cuddle closer to him. Teale’s chest is hard and uncomfortable, but I wouldn’t trade him for a pillow even if I had one.
Eventually, I drift off to sleep.
Only to wake up a few minutes later by a voice yelling, “The hell?”
I shoot up.
Lose my breath.
Standing in the doorway staring at me in horror is Chandra.
26 Teale
Ollie’s waiting for me at my apartment.
Of freaking course he is.
My brother can’t take a hint if it slapped him in the face.
I park the Jag. Climb out. Stride past him. “Does Chandra know you’re here stalking me?”
“Chandra’s the one who sent me.”
Makes sense.
My brother’s fiancé was shocked to find Zania and I snuggling on the couch.
Which is fine.
But snitching to my brother is not.
I’m already annoyed that Zania denied any involvement with me when Chandra grilled us about it.
“It’s not what you think,” she’d said over and over.
As if doing something as simple and vanilla as cuddling with me was some grave misstep.
She didn’t have any problems when she was squeezing me like her childhood teddy bear in her sleep.
The woman’s being stubborn at this point.
I know she’s got feelings for me.
She’s fooling no one but herself.
“What are you thinking, Teale?” Ollie demands.
I sigh. Juggle my key card and my phone with one hand. “It’s too early for this. I got an hour of sleep last night. Can’t we do this tomorrow? Or… never?”
The sun’s just rising over the crests of the trees. Birds are twittering like they’ve got a new lease on life. Dawn was hours ago and the hustle and bustle of the day is going full force.
“No, we’ll discuss it now.”
My hands fist. I hate when Ollie does this. Acting like he knows better than me. Like he has any say over what and how I do things.
“What’s your problem, man?” I growl.
“My problem,” Ollie gets up in my face, “is you messing around with Zania.”
“Why? You want a piece of her yourself?”
Ollie grabs me by the collar.
I swing at him.
He catches me by the wrists. Spins me around. Slams me up against the wall.
Damn it.
He’s always been stronger than me, but I didn’t even stand a chance.
It all happened so fast I can’t even call it a fight.
My sneakers scrape against the ground. I struggle to get free, but my brother’s got a good grip on the scruff of my neck. The more I squirm, the tighter his hold gets.
Ollie’s voice is gruff. “This is exactly why I don’t want you sniffing around her. You don’t take anything seriously. Always talking crap…”
I grab his arm. Use my momentum to tug it over me so he loses balance. Ollie’s strong, but he’s not as fast. I’m out of his reach and thrusting my fist in his face all before he can blink.
I stop before making contact. My knuckles are close enough to graze his cheek. “Screw you.”
Angry blue eyes, so similar in color and shape to mine, bore a hole into my head.
His chest heaves. “Zania’s a nice girl.”
“I know that.”
“She’s not some nameless piece you bang for a night and leave hanging.”
My gaze shifts past my brother to the lamppost. How the hell do I explain to Ollie that I’m serious about Zania? We might have started out that way, but I’m way past playing games with her.
I pull back. “Zania—”
Ollie curses under his breath.
I whip my head up. Stare at him. “What?”
“You screwed her?”
Did he read that on my face?
This is not something I want to discuss with Ollie. “She means a lot to me.”
“You expect me to believe that?”
“Yeah?”
“You’ve never been in a relationship that lasted more than three weeks.”
He’s got me there.
“The last time I checked, you swore you’d never get married and Zania’s pretty hell-bent on crossing that off the list.”
Yet another good point.
“We’ll work it out.”
“You mean you’ll deny her the one thing she wants while you play around with her?”
“I said I’m serious.”
“You don’t know how to be. And if Zania gets hurt—”
“Why are you assuming she’s the one who’ll get hurt?” I pace away. Stalk back. “Look, I’ve never felt this way about anyone before. She’s got me acting crazy and doing things I’ve never done. The one who holds all the power is her. Not me.”
His blue eyes remain focused on my face, studying my expression like he’s trying to decipher the truth for himself.
Finally, he leans back. “You love her.”
>
“I—”
“You do.” He lifts his chin. Runs a hand through his straight hair. “Wow.”
“Don’t look so shocked.”
“I never thought I’d see the day. You were always so careful to keep it physical.”
“Whatever.”
He chuckles. “Does she know?”
“I’ve made it obvious, but knowing Zania, she’d assume anything else.”
“You blame her?”
“I’m working on it.”
“Seems like you’re making progress.”
“I’m taking the actions over words route. She’ll break down eventually.”
“What about the…” He gestures to his ring finger.
I shrug. Thinking about marriage still freaks me out, but I’m exposing myself to the idea little by little. Starting with jewelry store drive-bys and nightly jaunts to the courthouse parking lot.
“A conversation for another day.”
“That’s good then.”
“What is?”
“That you’re willing to have a conversation.” Ollie smirks. “That tells me a whole lot. The old Teale wouldn’t even consider that option.”
“I’m glad you find this amusing.”
“It’s about time you settled down.”
“Slow down, bro. I haven’t even convinced her to go on a proper date with me. And she’s still a member of that marriage agency.”
“It’ll work out.” He eyes me. “As long as you don’t do anything stupid.”
“When have I ever?”
He shakes his head all the time.
“Thanks for the vote of confidence.”
“The only reason I have any hope this won’t crash and burn is for Zania’s sake.”
“Ouch, brother.”
He points to my neck. “Sorry for… that.”
“I’ll send my chiropractor bill in the mail. Are you done? Or are there any other walls you want to slam me into?”
“Always a pleasure, Teale.” He backs away.
“Let’s do this again sometime. Preferably in the gym. Near soft mats. Away from brick walls.” I rub the back of my shoulder.
Ollie waves as he jogs to his car.
Leaves me alone.
I lean against the building and stare at the bright blue sky.
Money and women. Those two things were enough to turn my world around.
Then Zania showed up and turned my perfectly balanced chaos upside down.
I’m just hoping I can get us both on the same page. Somehow.
Because a future without Zania in it is a future I don’t want.
27 Zania
“We need to talk about your future here at the agency,” Kayla says. Her heels click on the floor as she strolls across the room, fingers connected at the tips like she’s holding a giant invisible ball. “It’s not working out.”
I chuckle.
Kayla stops. Stares at me. “Is this funny?”
“No. I’m sorry.” I cover my mouth with a fist to hide my smirk. “That’s exactly what my ex-boyfriend said to me when we broke up. Which is not funny. At all.”
Her eyelashes flutter. “Zania, this is very serious. You stood up your match last week.”
“I know. And I feel horrible about that.”
She peers at me, chin lifted. “I’d believe you more if you’d knock that grin off your face.”
I try to look a little more sedate.
“Did something good happen?” Kayla muses.
“You could say that.”
She falls into the chair behind her desk. “Care to share.”
“My dad…” I can’t finish. I’m grinning too hard. Man, it’s still taking me a while to get used to saying that out loud.
My dad.
That term used to feel like a burden to me.
I had one and told everyone I didn’t.
Because he was in jail.
Because I was ashamed.
I thought he didn’t want me. Didn’t care.
All that’s changed now.
Kayla’s eyes flash with concern. “Your father? Did he get out of prison?”
“Yes.”
“Yes?” She peers at me. “And that’s a good thing.”
I nod. “He showed up that night. The night I was supposed to meet my second match.”
Kayla flops back into her chair. “Wow.”
“We’ve been talking a lot. He’s actually planning to visit soon. We’re having a barbeque so all my friends can meet him. You’re welcome to join us.”
“Really?”
“I’ll text you the details.”
Kayla smiles. “I’m happy for you, Zania. Truly.” She turns to her laptop. “Now, should I reschedule the date?”
“No.”
An eyebrow hikes. “No?”
“I, uh, actually plan to withdraw from the agency.”
“Let me guess.” She rests her chin on her palm, brown eyes narrowing. “Teale?”
“I don’t know if I’m making a huge mistake or not, but I can’t help myself. I know how I feel. It would be unfair of me to keep meeting men who want marriage if I’m still so confused about someone else.”
She sighs. “Well, I can’t say I didn’t see this coming.”
“Was it that obvious?”
“You’re not very good at hiding your emotions.” She gestures to my face. “Also, Teale signed up to the marriage agency last week. I knew it was the beginning of the end.”
“What?” My jaw drops.
I can’t imagine Teale of all people asking strangers to arrange a marriage date.
“He wanted to get set up with you.”
I laugh. “That man…”
“So how did he propose?” Kayla asks.
“He didn’t.”
“Does he even plan to marry you?”
“I don’t know.”
“You’ve only got a couple weeks left to meet that deadline. Are you okay with that?”
“I think,” I stare at my white tennis shoes, “I think I like him so much that it doesn’t matter if we’re married or not, as long as we’re together.”
She bobs her head. I sense thinly veiled disappointment. “I hope it works out.”
So do I.
I’ve thought about this long and hard, but I see no other option. Since the night of the ice gala—no, before then.
Since the day Teale strolled into Brew Drop, leaned against the counter and asked Chandra if he could have her number, I’ve been watching him. Crushing on him. Yearning for him.
I tried so hard to fight it but, in the end, I gave him more than my virginity.
I gave him my heart.
Only time will tell if that choice was the right one.
“The baked beans should be right around… here.” I lead Dad to the aisle and grab the jumbo can of baked beans from the shelf.
“Let me get that.” He rounds the cart. Takes the can from me.
I hand it over and tick the item off the notepad on my phone.
Dad hefts the beans with a grunt. Thick fingers snag around the handle of the cart at as he pushes it behind me. “This is food for an army. How many people did you invite again?”
“Just my friends.”
“And Teale?”
My cheeks warm. “Teale’s coming too.”
“So you two are still…”
“We’re… talking.”
“Talking?”
“Yup.” I scurry away before he can ask more questions.
Teale’s claimed me.
But I need a little more from him before I’ll give in all the way.
He can kiss and caress me all he wants.
And trust me, he has.
But I’m in charge of the labels.
Besides, a little opposition makes life more interesting.
“I think that’s everything,” I mumble, concentrating on the list and then glancing at the items in the cart.
Dad just grunts.
We t
ake the grocery items outside and wave down a taxi.
On the ride, Dad keeps fidgeting with his hands.
My gaze flits to his fingers and then to his face. “Are you okay?”
“It’s just old age,” he says, pulling his hands closer to his body to hide them from view.
A lump forms in my throat.
Old age.
I missed out on so much time with him and now I just want to make up for everything.
The barbeque was my idea. I’ve seen the burger patty commercials with happy families and dads around the grill. It used to make my heart ache so much that I had to turn it off.
Not anymore.
Now those commercials are just fodder for more ideas.
Backyard barbeques with family and friends?
I can do that.
I have a dad who can do that.
I’m so excited to try everything that I can’t stop smiling.
A few minutes later, we get to my place.
Dad takes the grocery bags out of the trunk.
Just as I open the front door, I get a call from Teale.
I put the cell phone to my ear and hear the welcoming rumble of his voice, “Hi, beautiful. Did you miss me last night?”
“I figured you didn’t call because you were busy.” To be honest, there was a part of me that wondered if Teale skipped our usual nightly telephone talks because he was with someone else.
But I shut down that voice quickly.
Even so, the fact that I’m still having doubts…
This is exactly why I’m going slow with him. I don’t want to be made into a fool.
“We had to work overtime to fix a problem a client pointed out. Pulled an all-nighter to get it done.”
“Sounds brutal.”
Dad gestures for my attention. Lifts the grocery bags. Where do I put these?
The counter, I mouth.
“I’ll take a quick shower and then head over so we can pick up your dad.”
“He rode the bus over. I picked him up from the stop.”
“Shoot. I overslept this morning, but I wanted to be there. Make up for punching him last time.”
I chuckle softly.
His voice deepens. “I love that little laugh of yours.” Something rustles. “I can’t take this. I need to see you now.”
“And do what?”
“You know what.”
My heart beats wildly. “My dad is here.”
“We’ll be quiet.”
“What if he catches us?”
“He won’t, but fear of discovery is part of the thrill.”