by Bella Emy
I furrow my brows. “What?”
“Yeah, yeah, hear me out,” she says holding her hands out in front of her.
I want to giggle. “But you guys have the same birthday. Wouldn’t it be a party for you, too?”
“Nope. My big party is my wedding in August. Remember? Kev and I aren’t even having a bachelor and bachelorette party. It’s all about the wedding. That will be all about me and Kev. I want to do this for Derek. He’s turning thirty, so I want to do something big for him, you know?”
Okay, I guess that makes sense. But what does this have to do with me? I guess she needs my help to decorate and coordinate it.
“Yeah, I can understand that now. But I’m a little confused as to how our conversation reminded you of this surprise party.”
She giggles. “Oh, Ells. You’re so funny! Here, let me elaborate. I’m planning on inviting a ton of our friends. Then I’ll ask them to bring their friends, too. There will be so many new guys, you won’t know who to choose from.” She’s so excited about all of this, it’s actually really cute. But fuck, I don’t know if I can go along with it.
“You are something else,” I say, chuckling.
“Seriously, it’s perfect. And plus, you know Derek knows a ton of cute guys. Maybe some of them aren’t as pigheaded as he is.” She looks back down into her planner and jots some stuff down. Then she turns to the calendar section and goes to the following month.
“See,” she says pointing to their special day, “our birthday falls on a Tuesday… we could totally plan it for the third Friday in June. Plus, this is the weekend you’re supposed to be visiting your mom, so we can totally make it seem like Kev and I are taking him out to dinner for his birthday… maybe invite just one or two of his friends. You supposedly won’t be around for it, so he won’t even think of it… it’s perfect.” She marks off the date and labels “D’s SP” on it. I’m assuming that stands for Derek’s Surprise Party, but I guess she doesn’t want to spell it out in case Derek gets a hold of it or sees it if she’d have the calendar open in front of him.
Well, maybe she’s on to something. He wouldn’t think something because I’ve been saying I’m going to visit my mom then for the longest time. I know he knows about it. Plus, maybe one of his friends will find me attractive, and I’ll like him, too. I wonder how Derek would feel about me seeing one of his best friends. I guess he won’t care because it’s not like he gives a shit about me. I’ve just been another piece of ass to him. God, why the fuck did I let myself fall?
“That may work, Laur,” I say, turning my head to face forward. The TV is on, broadcasting some new product on how to painlessly remove unwanted facial hair. I know a few chicks who can use that. Natasha being one of them.
Okay, I’m lying. Natasha doesn’t have facial hair, but I can’t stand the bitch. Oh my God. What if he’s sleeping with Natasha again? Fuck, that would suck so badly. I can’t picture that. I can’t stand the bitch.
“Of course, it will, Ells. Watch. You’re going to love it. Leave everything up to me. This will be epic.”
I shrug and pick up the remote. I guess it can’t hurt.
Two days later, I’m sitting at work after Mr. Sanders had left for the day. I’ve really been thinking about ways to forget Derek and where I can go to find someone new. I can’t just wait for the party. It would be a good idea to bring someone with me so that his mouth could drop when he sees me with a new guy.
Fuck, who am I kidding? He probably wouldn’t care. But dammit, I need to try!
Of course, there’s always the bar in town, but honestly, I think I’m done meeting guys there. I already know what’s there, and besides D, there’s really nothing interesting.
“Fuck, I’ve gotta stop that,” I say to myself.
As I go to shut down my computer, I see a new text from Lauren on my phone.
Lauren: I’ll be home around 9 tonight. Having dinner with Kev first.
Me: OK.
Lauren: Yeah, so… I saw an ad earlier today. Signed you up
Ah ha, the real reason she is texting me. Now, what was that? Signed me up for what? What is she talking about?
Me: Huh? Signed me up?
Lauren: A dating site. You’re welcome
Me: A dating site? Really, Laur???
Lauren: Yes, really! Now here’s the name of the app and your logins! Good luck!
She sends me another text message with the promised information. God, I want to kill my best friend right now. A dating app? Am I that desperate? What has my life come down to?
Realizing I don’t want to deal with this right now, I finally shut my computer off, and grab my things to head home. I make my way out the door and lock up behind me. Of course, I had been the last one here on a Friday evening. I usually am. It’s not like I have a life or anything.
The whole drive home, I’m cursing Lauren in my mind. How the hell could she have signed me up to a dating site? She should have asked me first…
Well, no. I guess I would have said no, and she knows that. Sneaky little bitch. I sigh, and when I arrive at the apartment building, I park the car, killing the engine. I grab my bag and step out of the car, then lock it. As I walk toward the building, my heart stops.
Derek Mykels.
What the hell is he doing home now? Lately, Friday nights around 7 p.m., he’d still be at the tattoo shop or hanging out with one of his friends… or so that’s what he’s been telling me. Most likely, he’s found someone new to screw.
He walks over to me, flashing me one of his famous sexy grins.
Fuck him and his sexy grin.
“Hey, Ellie,” he says. He has his hands in his pockets as we walk side by side toward the apartment building.
“Hi, Derek,” I answer back.
We walk in silence ’til we reach the front entrance of the building. He pushes past me to get the door.
“Thank you,” I say, walking inside.
He doesn’t say anything as he follows behind me. I walk to the elevator and press the button to call it.
“Good day at work today?” he asks.
“Yeah, it was great.”
Wow, this is seriously fucking awkward. I hate this. Small talk? What the fuck?
He walks up next to me, and we wait in silence once again until the elevator arrives. When the door opens, the sixth floor neighbors scamper out. We nod as they exit and then make our way in.
We don’t have a long ride up, but I swear, this is the longest ride of my life. Maybe it’s just me, but I can’t help but feel like the tension in the air is fucking thick as hell. So thick, in fact, that it can be cut with a knife. Fuck, I’m seriously dying to jump in his arms and wrap my legs around him. I wish I could just smack my lips into his and kiss him. I really wish he’d pin me against this wall here and pound me the way only he knows how. My pussy starts aching for his cock at the very thought.
I take a sneak peek over at him, but he doesn’t miss a beat. He glances directly my way with a smirk. I feel like he’s about to say something when the door slides open.
I take a deep breath and exit, bolting toward our apartment’s door. I can feel him eerily close to me as I insert my key. God, I can smell his amazing cologne, and it reminds me of times we had spent together, rolling around in one another’s beds. Once it unlocks, I head on inside with a pep in my step.
I walk straight to my room but keep an ear out to see what Derek’s about to do. I hear him walk into the kitchen, and then I hear the fridge door swinging open. I reach my room and plop right onto my bed face down. I don’t even bother changing.
After an hour of moping, I rise from my bed and head back toward the kitchen. I’m hungry. It’s super quiet, and I figure that Derek has gone right back out. I pull out a chicken parm and mashed potatoes with a side of corn and peas microwaveable dinner and pop it into the microwave. I’m sure it’s going to taste disgusting once it’s done, but I don’t really give a fuck. I have no desire to try and set the stove on fire, nor do I f
eel like pizza tonight.
Once my meal is ready, I pull it out of the microwave and walk over to the living room. It doesn’t look so bad, but hopefully, it tastes better than this. I place the plastic tray on top of the coffee table before going to the closet to grab one of those makeshift wooden tables. I open it up and set it right in front of the TV. What a fucking Friday night. My life is so fucking fantastic.
I grab the remote off the couch to turn on the TV and put on some old reruns of The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. I laugh at a scene of Carlton doing his famous dance and then go to dig in. The first bite is not terrible. I shrug and go for a second. I roll my eyes as I pull my phone out of my pocket and remember Lauren’s text. I decide to check out the app she signed me up to and download it to my phone.
Once it’s downloaded, I quickly sign in and put my phone down on the table. I take another bite as I wait for it to load and decide to grab a drink while I wait. I push away from the table and get up. I make my way into the kitchen and swing open the refrigerator door. I bend down and peer inside only to find beer and water. I pull out a bottle of Poland Spring and close the door. As I go to spin around and make my way back to the living room, I bump right into Derek’s diesel chest. Of course, since the living room is basically connected to the kitchen, only separated by a half horizontal wall, running into people in the next room is so easy to do.
“Fuck, I’m sorry, D,” I say. God, I missed the feel of him against me.
He just smiles at me, grabbing the side of my arms. “It’s cool, Ells.”
“I thought you went out,” I say, swallowing hard.
He turns around and goes to sit on the couch. “Nah. I’m kind of tired. I decided to stay in.”
“You want a beer?” I ask, spinning back around toward the fridge.
“Nah, I’m good, thanks.”
I chug down some water before I start going into the living room when my phone dings.
“You’ve got seven new matches,” he announces with a chuckle as he peeks at my phone.
Fuck! Could this be any more horrible? I almost spit out my mouthful of water.
“Lauren signed me up to that stupid app this afternoon,” I try justifying myself. Granted, I don’t need to, but I really don’t want D knowing I had been thinking of finding a new guy. If there is any chance with him at all, even though I know there isn’t, this has just killed it. Now he’s just going to pull away even more. Great.
He shrugs. “I don’t know about stupid. Looks like you’re pretty popular on there if you just signed up and you’ve already got quite a few people interested in you, Ellie.”
I plop down onto the couch and pick up my phone. I turn the ringer to vibrate and turn it face down when Derek gets up. Shit, man.
“Have a good night, Ells. I’m going to head out for a little while.”
“Okay. Night, D,” I say just loud enough for him to hear me.
I don’t turn around to watch him leave, but I hear the door open and then close. He’s gone.
I thought he had said he was tired and had decided to stay in? What the hell has just happened?
25
Derek
Okay, so yeah. I know I said I was going to stop, but I’m still sleeping with Ellie. I have pulled away a lot, though. I know she can tell, and she notices something is up because she’s asked me about it, but I can’t tell her. How can I tell her that I had to force myself into Natasha’s pussy because I need to forget about her? How can I tell her I love her and that’s the reason why I’m screwing around?
I had to walk out the door once I realized she had put herself out there looking for a new man. Granted, okay, Lauren signed her up… thanks a lot, Sis. But it doesn’t matter. The fact of the matter is that she’s not going to be waiting around for my dumbass. I should have known I wouldn’t be able to fool her into thinking nothing has changed between us. Of course, she thinks it has because so many times when we’re alone, I leave the apartment.
I hate that she’s looking for a new man. Or if she’s not looking, someone sure as hell is going to find her and take her away from me. But she’s not mine, never was.
Fuck…
Someone else is going to screw her… take her out… treat her like the queen that she is. Damn it, that should be me! But I’m just a piece of shit that can’t commit to shit.
But what can I do? I can’t give her what she needs or what she wants. She wants more than just a quick fuck, I know that. And I know that I can’t give her that. But fuck, I want to kill any guy that even just looks at her. Now she’s going to have guys lined up ready to take her out… and place their dirty fucking paws on my Ellie. Fuck!
She should be mine. She should belong to me.
But she doesn’t.
I walk out the building and head back toward my car. I’m parked a few feet from Ellie’s, and it was even a miracle that we had arrived home at the exact same time. I’ve been trying to keep my distance from her, especially on Fridays and Saturdays when Lauren is usually out with Kev. It’s painful to be home alone with her now, knowing how much I want to take her into my bed and screw her senseless, but at the same time, I’m trying to let her go for her own sake. I can’t help that I love her sweet pussy so much.
Shit, man. Shut the fuck up, D. You don’t just love her kitty. You love her. Point blank.
I hop into my car and decide to head on over to Natasha’s. I don’t care that she’s the only other chick I’ve been with lately. It’s just for sex. I feel nothing for her, and I know she doesn’t care about me that way, either. Natasha never was the type to catch feelings.
That’s it. I have to keep trying. I’m going to fuck Ellie out of my system if it’s the last thing I do.
I buckle up and check my mirrors, and once it’s clear, I pull out onto the main road. I use the car’s Bluetooth option and decide to let Natasha know to be ready for me. I’m going in there like an animal, and I plan on throwing her right onto her couch and screwing her pussy ‘til it’s beet red.
“Hello?” She picks up on the second ring.
“Sexy, you home?” I ask.
“Yes, love. I’m here.”
“Good, be ready ‘cause I’m about ten minutes away. I’m gonna tear up that pussy.”
I hear her moan on the phone. It’s sexy and all, but it doesn’t compare to–nope, no. Can’t do it. Can’t go there.
D, concentrate on Natasha and her big titties that are gonna be bouncing up and down in your face as she’s riding you.
There. Now there’s an image in my mind I can focus on.
“I’m ready, baby. Already wet and naked in bed for you.”
I smirk. “Good girl, but I’m still going to have to spank you when I see you.”
It’s just after eleven, but I’m already back in my car. Natasha isn’t doing it for me anymore. Sure, she’s a great lay, but I can’t deny the fact that she’s just not Ellie. I keep trying to get over her because I know I can’t have her and she deserves so much better than the piece of shit that I am. But how the hell am I going to get over this woman? I need a damn drink.
I decide to head to Gage’s, the bar in town, and see if I can’t throw a few back and forget all about my misfortunes. When I pull up to a parking spot, I call Danny to see if he wants to meet me here to get drunk. Maybe he can drive me back. I’m planning on getting so wasted that I won’t be able to tell the difference between my right hand from my left.
The fucker doesn’t answer.
“Fuck you, Dan,” I say, chuckling, throwing my phone in my pocket and making my way out of the car. The asshole is probably getting laid right now by one of the chicks from the shop. He plays the single card well. Whatever, it works for him.
I head on inside and get a look around. There’s a few people I recognize, and I nod to them. Damn, I haven’t been here in a minute.
I walk over to the bar and see my boy, Gage, the owner of the bar, behind the counter. We went to high school together, along with most of the fuc
kers that hang out here on Friday nights.
“D Man! What’s going on? Haven’t seen you in a while. What trouble have you been getting into?” he asks as he walks over to me, wiping down the counter.
Ellie. I’ve been inside of Ellie. And Natasha. But I want Ellie. She’s the trouble I’ve gotten into… inside of. And I want more.
He’s a tall dude with dark brown hair, green eyes, and most girls fall over themselves for him. Of course, I’m much better looking, and the women love me more, but Gage is alright. He’s got muscles and a goatee, and tattoos running up and down both arms.
“Just work. How’s business?” I ask.
“Good, always busy on weekends. How’s the shop and Danny? He was here about two weeks ago.”
“Good, man. Everything is good. He’s the same clown as always,” I respond.
He chuckles, nodding his head. He throws the rag that he was wiping the counter with underneath it and looks up at me. “What can I get for you, D?”
I want to get plastered off my ass but decide to start off with a beer. “I’ll just take whatever you have on tap.”
He nods, grabs a glass, and fills it to the brim. “Here, on the house.”
“You don’t have to do that, man,” I say.
“Please, I want to. We’ve been friends for a long time, and trust me, I won’t go homeless over one glass of beer… especially not tonight. Look around,” he says and walks over to another customer that has taken a seat three from mine at the bar.
I take a sip and turn my head from left to right to get a good look at the place. He’s right. It’s packed in here.
And then, I see her. The girl who I hadn’t seen in so long. Sure, she’s pretty, but I remember her being more beautiful. Maybe the alcohol is getting to my head.