by Bella Emy
Out of all the women he could have been with, why did it have to be Natasha Hussey, the bitch who had stolen my boyfriend from me in high school?
Her hoe-ass had stolen Jacob Nightington back in our junior year of high school. Of course, she had. That’s all she did back then, and from the looks of it, she sure as hell didn’t change one bit. She went around after the guys who were in relationships because she’s a whore. It was like she had to make a point of it that she could take any guy she wanted, especially the ones who had girlfriends. And of course, no guy ever resisted her because of the way she looked. And seeing her now, the way she looks? I can’t even compete with her. She looks like a barbie doll, and I know that’s exactly the type of woman D loves.
Not being able to stand being in the same room as everyone, I make a beeline for my purse and head straight for the front door, pushing past Lauren and Kevin.
“Ells!” I hear Lauren call out to me, but I keep running. I need to get the hell out of here. I can’t do this anymore, and I know for sure that I’m not going to be able to keep these tears at bay much longer.
As my shoulder hits into D, he tries to grab me. “Ellie!” he yells, but I don’t stop. I keep running out of the apartment, until I reach the back of the building. We don’t really have a yard, but there is a big willow tree in the back.
Once I reach the tree, I break down, and all the tears that I had been holding back the whole time finally make their escape and spill onto my cheeks.
I can’t believe it. The whole time, my suspicions have been right. He wants nothing more to do with me because he’s found someone else… and out of all the women he could’ve chosen, it’s Natasha Hussey… that fucking bitch! God, I can’t stand her! I hate her guts so much. I knew it! I fucking knew it. Thoughts of Derek fucking her flood my mind causing a red heat to take over my body. I want to smash her face in with my fists, throwing blow after blow at her perfect face. Smoke is practically coming out of my ears, and I can feel my cheeks flush. I swear I really feel like I’m about to vomit now.
“Ellie!” Derek’s voice sounds, dragging me back to reality and out of my thoughts. He’s coming toward me, running from the front of the building. Thankfully, he knew better than to bring that hussy out here with him. And yet, he didn’t know better and brought her to our birthday celebration for him knowing how much I can’t stand her.
“Ellie, baby!” D says, finally catching up to me.
Without even thinking about it, my wide-open hand meets his cheek with an ear-piercing slap. Fuck, I don’t care. He so earned that one.
He frowns, nodding, bringing a hand to his now red cheek.
“Yup. I deserved that,” he says.
I shake my head back and forth. “How could you? Her? Out of all the other fucking bitches you could have chosen. Why her?”
Lauren and Kev are now standing behind Derek. How had I missed them? I must have been too pissed to notice anyone else.
Lauren looks as confused as ever. Oh my God. Lauren. Either she thinks I’m pissed that he brought Natasha here because we both hate the cunt, or she just realized Derek and I had something going on. Fuck, she’s not stupid. I probably wouldn’t have made such a scene if it were just because I couldn’t stand Natasha. She must know about Derek and me. There’s no way she doesn’t anymore. Fuck.
Oh well, actually. I don’t even care anymore to hide anything. It doesn’t matter now, anyway. It’s definitely over between Derek and I now. If I wasn’t sure that it was over before, I certainly know it is now.
I rip my gaze away from Lauren and glare back at Derek. I’m fuming right now. I don’t even want to see him, let alone talk to him.
“I have to go,” I say, beginning to walk away.
“Sweetheart, wait,” Derek says, stopping me, grabbing my arm.
I spin around, but he doesn’t let go. I stare back into his eyes, and if looks could kill, he would have died right here.
More tears make their way onto my cheeks. He frowns, water visibly welling up in his own eyes.
“Baby, please don’t cry… I…”
“No, D!” I roar, pulling away from his grip. “You are so wrong… so fucking wrong. I never want to see you again. Enjoy screwing Natasha and the rest of the neighborhood.”
After all, if he’s sleeping with her, he’s sleeping with everyone else since she goes around with everyone. Come to think of it, he has always been the exact same way. He totally broke his promise to me. We had slept together, and he had still gone behind my back and fucked others. I had made him promise me as long as he was sleeping with me, he wouldn’t with anyone else. But I guess we weren’t sleeping together anymore, were we? We haven’t been intimate in so long. I suspected him of sleeping around before he completely pulled away from me.
Ugh! Why am I trying to justify Derek Mykels’s actions? I know he’s a fucking liar. I knew it since the start. No, I knew it even before we started sleeping together. All he cares about is getting laid and his next piece of ass. What the hell made me think that I was any different? He only ever viewed me as a good time. Now that was over and he was on to his next victim. I had been so stupid to sleep with him in the first place. I’m so fucking mad at myself
I need to go. Not wasting anymore time, I shout, “Happy fucking birthday!” and make a run for my car.
27
Derek
“D, what the hell were you thinking?” Lauren reprimands me as the both of us are now sitting back on the living room couch. Everyone left after the whole fiasco with Ellie. I kicked everyone out. Once she took off, and I realized how badly I had fucked up, I went back inside and told everyone the party was over. There was no need to beg Natasha to leave, she was already hanging all over Gage when I got back in. Talk about moving on quickly. Natasha’s tits were practically hanging all out of her strapless dress… but I didn’t fucking care. Nor do I now. Dude just looked at me like he had no clue what was going on. She was leaning close to him, whispering something in his ear, and I can only imagine what that was. I had been there before. I was no stranger to her seduction schemes. So, I gave him a look letting him know he could totally go for it if he wanted to. I’m done with Natasha. I need to get Ellie back.
Somehow. Someway.
I’m devastated I messed things up with Ellie so badly. Fuck, man. I need to fix shit. But how?
Even Kev had taken off for the night, knowing I needed to speak to my sister alone. If there was anyone who knew me better than myself, it was Lauren. Plus, she knew Ellie pretty damn well, too.
“I don’t know… I had no idea Ellie was going to be here…” I respond, holding my head in my hands.
I look up and see Lauren shaking her head back and forth in obvious disapproval. “It doesn’t matter, Derek. You should have known better than to bring that cum-guzzling puta into our home… you know I can’t stand that bitch, either.”
“Yeah, yeah. I know, but…”
“No buts. You fucked up.”
I put my head back down in my hands. She’s fucking right. I fucked up. Royally. Once again. Except this time, I think I’ve totally outdone myself.
“I know, I know!” I exclaim, still head in hands.
“So, what are you going to do now?”
I look up slightly from the cover of my hands, and ask, “What do you mean?”
She scoffs. Great. Just what I need right now… Lauren to disapprove of all my actions and all my words.
“Dude, you don’t really think this is over, do you?” She’s looking at me like I’ve got three heads. Maybe I do. Well, one thing is for sure. I’ve got two of them, and of those, one that I’m always thinking with.
Hell yeah, I do think this is over. Ellie hates me right about now, and quite frankly, I’m not really sure what to do about it to fix things. I guess in my mind I was just going to let it all go.
“What do you mean, Laur? Ellie hates me right now.”
“Yeah, so do I. You brought that damn troll here. But guess what? I
still love you. It’s not going to make me stop loving you, as much as I hate you right now. What you did was ridiculously fucked up in so many ways, on so many levels. Ellie has every right to feel upset with you right now. You broke her heart. Dammit, D. Why the fuck did you go and do that to her after everything she had been through with Shaun? God, I just knew she had a thing for you. I should have talked to her about it. But she probably would never have admitted it.”
I shake my head. “No, she wouldn’t have. We made a deal that we wouldn’t say anything to anyone… especially you.”
Lauren’s eyes go wide, as if in disbelief. “Why, though? I’m your sister and her best friend… I’m the one person you guys should have told…”
I shrug. “We thought you’d never approve of it…”
“Why the hell not?” she questions.
“Because…” I begin to say, but she immediately cuts me off before I have a chance to continue.
“Because I would tell Ellie that you’d end up breaking her heart… because you can’t keep it in your pants, because you’re not the faithful type. Because I would have told you that if you were to hurt my best friend, brother or not, I’d hurt you. Ellie’s been through too much. She wouldn’t need you to add to anymore of her pain.”
“Yeah… that,” I admit, lowering my gaze.
“So the fuck what?! Yes, I would have reprimanded the both of you, told you you’re two idiots for getting involved, knowing how you both are, but I would never not support you guys. If I knew you two really wanted to be together, I wouldn’t have stopped you. I would have supported you, and considering the fact that she’s obviously in love with you, and you’re obviously in love with her, I’d be the first one supporting your decision.”
Okay. I can understand that my sister knows I’m in love with Ellie without me ever having to say a word about it. Ever since we were little, we’ve always been able to read one another pretty damn well. It’s like some kind of twin telepathy shit or something. But for her to say she knows Ellie loves me? I know they’re best friends and all, but love me? I don’t think so.
“Ellie doesn’t love me. She’s just pissed I brought Natasha here.”
“D, I know you’re not the brightest tool in the shed, but I know you’re not that blind!”
Fuck, I’m not stupid. Sure, I’d failed a few exams here and there, but overall, I’d always passed my classes with flying colors. I had to pass if I wanted to stay on the football team, and back in high school, football was the only thing that mattered. That and getting laid.
Now, it’s not about that anymore. Sure, I want to get laid. But the difference is that now, only Ellie can satisfy my craving. Other pussies hadn’t worked…haven’t worked. I need Ellie’s sweet slice of heaven to sedate my hunger. I realize that now, no matter how many women I sleep with, I will always want Ellie.
Because I’m in love with her.
But yeah, Lauren is right, of course. She usually is. About most things. Okay, okay. About everything. Fuck, I hate admitting that.
“D, snap out of it,” Lauren scolds, now looking at me sternly. “Seriously. Listen to your much wiser and older sister,” she winks at me.
I scoff, looking down at the ground. Yeah, she can have older, but wiser?
Yeah, she probably is smarter than me, too.
I feel Lauren take steps to stand in front of me. “Go get your girl,” she adds.
My head snaps up. My gaze meets hers, and she’s smiling down at me. Not a smart-ass grin, but a genuine smile that means my sister is looking out for my well-being.
My girl.
As those words sink in, I realize she’s right. All I want is for Ellie to be mine. Not just for a few moments. Not just for a few nights. But forever. I want to make Ellie mine. I only want Ellie, and no one else. Why had I been so stupid, driving her away, thinking I could find what I needed in the arms of other women?
I stand up and throw my arms around my sister. She instantly hugs me back. “Thanks for the pep talk, Laur. I really needed it.”
As I pull away, she says, “Of course, you did. Bozo.” We laugh as I pull away, and she nudges me on the head.
Somehow, someway, I’ve got to find a way back into Ellie’s heart.
28
Ellie
I’m so fucking glad I grabbed my keys on my way out of Lauren’s apartment. It would have been a damn disaster if I would have to run into Derek again.
Derek. UGH! I never want to hear his name or see his face for as long as I live. That fucking asshole. I hate his guts so fucking much right now. How the hell could he bring that skank-ass hoe back to the house? I know he didn’t think I was going to be there, but what the hell, man? Lauren can’t stand her hoe-ass either.
He’s such a fucking piece of shit… do I really not mean a damn thing to him? Yeah, I know we’re not a couple or anything, but… fuck. But what? I knew from the jump there was nothing more than sex between us. He didn’t feel anything for me. Why did I let myself fall for him? Fuck, I’m so stupid! I have no one to blame but myself.
I’m already speeding down the highway in my car on my way to Mom’s. I know I could probably go back to my own apartment right now… Lord knows I haven’t been back there since forever, but I just don’t want to deal with it right now. At least this way I can check on Mom and make sure she’s alright while I drown in my own damn misery. Fuck, I’m such a loser. Way to go to start the weekend off miserable. But hey, at least I’ve still got some of my old stuff at Mom’s, so if I want to crash there for a couple of nights, it’ll be fine.
Who would have thought that at almost thirty years old, I’d be going back and forth from my best friend’s place and my mother’s? Why don’t I just go the fuck back to my own apartment? Oh yeah, because I never completely cleared out my douche canoe ex-boyfriend’s shit yet. God, I’m totally winning at life, aren’t I?
My job? Totally just barely hanging on by a thread at work. Thank God my boss adores me, or my ass would have been canned by all the days I’ve missed this year.
My love life? Or lack thereof… Yeah. My last two lovers completely treated me like shit, stepping all over me. Totally winning in that department.
A best friend who…
Well, yeah. Not anymore.
Lauren. What the fuck did I just do to my best friend? I slept with her twin brother behind her back, kept it from her for months… God, this is probably the one thing that will break up our friendship. I need to call her and apologize, but not yet. I can’t deal with Lauren and her scolding me right now. Well, yeah. First, she’ll scold me, asking me if I’m dumb for sleeping with her whore of a brother, and then she’ll tell me she never wants to speak to me again because I’m such a whore. I fucked her brother. The one girl she thought would never go near her brother went ahead and not only fucked him time and time again behind her back, but went ahead and caught feelings for him. She fell in love with him.
I fell in love with him.
God, what am I going to do? Besides my heart being broken and shattered yet again by another asshole who I know doesn’t deserve even half of me, I’m going to lose my best friend, the one who’s been there for me for every single heartbreak and tear that I’ve cried. She can’t, won’t, comfort me now.
I wipe away at the tears clouding my view. Fuck, if I’m not careful, I’m going to get into an accident driving while I’m crying. This is horrible. But all I feel like doing right now is driving my car off the edge of a cliff and taking my chances.
Somehow, I make it to Mom’s house hours later unscathed. I don’t even remember the drive over. All I do know is that I’m here now. I pull up to the front of the house, but I can’t park in my usual spot in her driveway because there’s a black Mercedes parked there.
What the hell? One of Mom’s friends must be over. But at this time at night? It’s almost midnight. I squint my eyes, trying to see if I can make anything out, looking at her windows, but it’s pitch black inside. Maybe they got drunk an
d her friend passed out on the couch? Who the fuck knows? I’m too out of it to really give it much thought. It’s probably one of her co-workers that she would hang out with whenever she needed to live a little. What was that lady’s name from her job with the fucked up nose and curly blonde hair? Rachel? Fuck, I know it’s not nice of me to say the lady has a messed up nose, especially when she’s always so nice, but she really does. She could pass for Owen Wilson’s twin sister.
Twin sister.
Twins.
Derek and Lauren.
Fuck! Why does my mind hate me so much right now, making me think of them? I let out a loud sigh after I pull into a spot in front of a couple of houses up the block, I turn off the ignition and slam my head right smack in the middle of my steering wheel, causing my horn to beep. I jump up instantly.
Way to go, Ellie, wake up the whole damn neighborhood, why don’t you. Mom lives in a peaceful little corner of the world, and I just went ahead and disrupted her neighborhood’s tranquil Friday evening.
I get out of the car and walk up to her door, pulling out Mom’s key. I insert it into the keyhole and open the door. I don’t bother turning on the light or announcing I’m here. I don’t want to disturb anyone’s slumber. Rachel is most likely passed out on the couch. I gently close the door behind me, careful not to make a peep. I’ll check in with Mom in the morning. All I need to do now is tip-toe to my old room and try to pass the fuck out. But the whole time, I was crying in the car, and now my throat is so dry. I need some water. I’d better get something to drink and then I’ll head to my old bedroom.
I quietly amble over to the kitchen, turning on the small light above the stove. At least this one won’t bother anyone. I turn around, but before I can take another step closer to get some water, I’m greeted by a full moon and a pair of hairy balls bent over in front of the fridge.