by Bella Emy
Made love? No. We hadn’t made love. Derek doesn’t do that. Although it felt like we were making love so long ago, I know it was nothing more than casual sex.
“Eloise,” he repeats. “I’m not going to say much right now because this is not the time nor the place. All I want to say is that you look absolutely beautiful… as beautiful as always, Ellie.”
I swallow hard. I want to say something, but nothing forms.
“I… I…” I begin to say.
“You don’t have to say anything, Ellie,” he whispers. Suddenly, he places his free hand on top on my arm entwined in his. Fuck, I missed his hands on me so much. How the hell is he still capable of making me feel this way for him after all this time, after everything?
“T-Thank you, Derek,” I finally manage to say.
D chuckles. Fuck… I missed that laugh, too. I’m so screwed. And we’re supposed to dance together later at the reception right after the bride and groom have their first dance… How on God’s green Earth am I going to pull that shit off?
“You’re welcome, sweetheart,” he murmurs. Then, as we reach the front of the altar where we’re meant to line up on either side, he places a kiss on my hand and walks off to his side next to Kev and the rest of the groomsmen.
I’m stunned, left almost immobile, but luckily, Christina, one of the other bridesmaids nudges me softly, just enough to get my attention. I need to move out of the way because Lauren is about to make her glamorous entrance.
All the guests sitting in the pews rise as the Wedding March begins to play. I notice them bringing their attention to the entrance of the church where the doors swing open revealing a gorgeous white angel covered in a veil getting ready to make her way down the aisle.
Lauren, standing alongside her father, David, take step by step to march toward the altar. I sneak a peek over at Derek and his eyes are glued on his sister with a smile on his face.
Damn, that smile. What I would do to see him smile at me.
And then he does. He turns his head my way as everyone in the room is focused on Lauren, and he stares at me.
I can’t break away from his glance. I have so much I want to say to him, and yet, I can’t. I keep trying to remind myself that whatever was going on with us before is over. He went and wrecked it, and now it can’t ever be fixed again.
David lifts the blusher from Lauren’s veil covering her face and places a kiss on his daughter’s cheek before handing her over to her soon-to-be husband. It’s at this moment that I realize how emotional this whole thing has me between the way things are with Derek and the beautiful memories that Lauren and her father are creating. This whole thing is bittersweet.
I wipe at my eyes, hoping my mascara hasn’t started running. Kev takes David’s place next to his bride, and the priest begins the ceremony.
As Kev and Lauren look into one another’s eyes reciting their vows to one another, I can’t help but catch a glimpse of Derek staring at me again. What is his look saying to me? I wish I knew. More than likely, he’s probably sorry that we’re no longer sleeping together. Unfortunately, the look I’m giving him is saying so much more… so much more than I know we will ever be.
But I’m not going to let this come in the way of Lauren’s day. Since I’ve decided that I’m also going to be moving back to my old hometown, I’m going to just let go and enjoy this day with my bestie as she creates her happily ever after.
35
Derek
It’s killing me. Literally. Fucking. Killing me. The whole night, I’ve watched Ellie–she’s so incredibly close to me, like right beside me as we walked down the aisle and danced together during the required bridesmaid/groomsmen dance after the bride and groom had their first one. She’s so close, and yet, I can’t have her. I’ve apologized numerous times to her, that now tonight, I’ve decided to just let it go. I’m letting her walk out of my life forever and knowing that bitter cold fact is tearing my heart apart. Never in my wildest dreams would I have thought I’d fall so hard for the girl who has been in my life since we were kids, the girl who was always there, my twin sister’s best friend…
I’m sitting at one of the tables in just my white dress shirt and pants, tie long gone. I’m nursing a beer, watching Danny and Gage at the bar, looking at me as they strike up a conversation with two of the girls from Lauren’s bridal party. I smirk and shake my head at them. Not that long ago, I would have been standing right next to them, trying to do the same. But not today.
Today, I only want one girl.
But what else can I do? I know I have to let her go. Every time I’ve tried to win her back, she’s made it very clear that I royally fucked up, and there was no getting her back. Shit, go figure. King D, the king, royally fucking up yet again. Isn’t that just the way life goes, always trying to fuck you in the ass without any lube. Fuck, man. It just can’t get any worse.
I turn my gaze back to Ellie who is currently on the dance floor with Lauren and a few others from the bridal party dancing to the music the DJ is playing. I take a long swig of my beer, studying her every move. She’s so fucking God damn beautiful. Once upon a time, I would have said that there weren’t any girls around who could surpass me in beauty… but Ellie? Fuck… Ellie is a goddess.
And I want her still.
“You gonna stop gawking at her and tell her how you finally feel?” Lauren’s voice comes up from behind me.
I furrow my brows, doing a double take. “Weren’t you just on that dance floor shaking your ass with the rest of your girls?” I could have sworn she was.
My sister’s hands slam on my shoulders as she giggles and takes a seat beside me. “Oh, D. You’re so stuck on her, lil bro, that you didn’t even notice when I walked away. You’ve got tunnel vision for her. It’s crazy to watch you sitting here, letting her get away. You know she’s miserable without you.”
I shrug. “That’s not what she said every single time I tried apologizing to her.”
“D, she doesn’t need to say it. Look at her… like really look into her eyes. Don’t you see the sorrow in them? I mean, yeah, she’s smiling and all, laughing, pretending to have a great time, but I know that’s all a show. I know she’s doing it for me. And I love her for that, but I hate that she’s so sad. She’s so sad because of you, lil’ bro. Go make your move. It’s now or never. You promised me on the phone you would try one last time,” Lauren states.
I look Lauren straight in her eyes and take one final pull of my beer before draining it. She’s right. I need to fix this. I need to make it right between Ellie and me. I slam the empty bottle down onto the table and rise to my feet. “You’re right, Sis. I need to do this before she walks out of my life once and for all.”
“There you go… that’s my lil’ bro,” Lauren says, getting up from her seat and coming over to embrace me.
We hug for a few moments before I pull away just in time for Kev to come find his new wife.
“Hey, Laur,” I say.
“Yeah, D?”
“Congrats, Sis. I love you.”
Maybe that was a mistake. I can tell from the smug grin on her face she’s never going to let me live this one down. Shit.
She goes in to hug me once more. “Aww, D! You are so sweet. I love you, too, Knucklehead.”
I pull away again after a few moments and tip my head up at Kev. “Congrats, bro. Welcome to the family.”
Kev walks over holding out his hand. I take it in mine, and we shake on it. Then ultimately embrace.
“Derek. It’s time,” Lauren says, bringing me back to the reality that awaits me, as I pull back from Kev.
“Go get her, man,” Kev encourages me.
Fuck, of course, he knows about this, too. There was no way Lauren would have kept something like this from her husband.
I thought it would have been weird to say that Lauren has a husband now, and she’s a wife. I mean, she’s my sister, the same little girl who would fall off her bike and come crying to me to help bandage her cuts a
nd bruises. She may be older than me by a minute or so, but she’ll always be my little sis since she’s been shorter than me for as long as I can remember.
I smile, happy that she’s found her happiness. She and Kev have been so inseparable since they first started dating that this just feels right.
And suddenly, I realize that I want that someday for myself. I want that feeling, that comfort of being with someone for so long that it just feels natural. This would have never been the D Man back in high school or college. Ellie has definitely changed me, and it’s for the better, that’s for sure.
I nod at Kev and then walk toward the dance floor. Ellie is so lost in the rhythm of the music that she doesn’t even see me as I walk up to her. As if on cue, the DJ begins playing a slow, love song. I look back before I approach Ellie and see my sister and Kev standing next to the DJ’s booth. She’s giving me the thumbs up, letting me know this slow song was all her doing. I chuckle to myself. Figures.
I shrug, and as I do, I put out my hand to grab Ellie’s. She spins around and her gorgeous brown eyes burn into mine. Fuck, she’s perfect.
“May I have this dance?” I ask, waiting for her response.
“D, we already danced for Lauren’s bridesmaid/groomsmen dance thing. We don’t have to dance again,” she says, looking at me like I’ve asked her to jump off a cliff.
“Yeah, I know that. But I still want to dance with you.”
“Why?”
“Because, there’s something here that’s unfinished, and before you completely push me away, just hear me out this one last time.”
She hesitates considering my response, but she doesn’t give in.
“Please?” I push.
Ellie quickly flashes a glance over at where Lauren is standing. Then she turns to face me once more and says, “Fine. One dance.”
She quickly gives in to me, allowing me to pull her body close. The way she feels in my arms right now is the way I want to spend the rest of my life feeling.
Every single day.
For the rest of my life.
With Ellie and no one else.
“Ellie,” I start to say, but of course, she’s not going to hear me out. I knew she wouldn’t.
She pulls away, causing my hands to drop from her. “D, stop. We’re not going to do this now, here, and ruin your sister and my best friend’s wedding day. Not a chance.”
“Ellie, I have to tell you how I feel,” I try pushing on. I have to say these words before she’s really gone from my life for good.
“No, D. You don’t have to. You made things perfectly clear. I knew exactly how you felt about me the moment you stepped foot into your surprise party with that whore.”
“Would you listen to yourself? Ellie, do you honestly think I want Natasha Hussey over you?”
Ellie shrugs. “D. It’s not even about her. You have always been about yourself. You’re not the type of guy to settle down, you never were. I got into this mess with you knowing that… so I blame no one but myself. I just can’t do it anymore though. That’s why I’m leaving.”
I swallow the hard lump that has formed in my throat. “Leaving?”
“Yeah, I already spoke to my mom earlier tonight. I’m moving out of my apartment and going back home to Asherville for a while… then I’ll eventually get my own place, but yeah, it’s going to be closer to my mom. I have nothing to stay here for now,” she whispers that last part, dropping her gaze, not capable of looking me in the eye.
“Ells… you have me. And I want you.”
The music comes to an end and now we’ve drawn a bit of an audience to ourselves. Great. This wasn’t what I was trying to do during my sister’s day.
Ellie glances back up at me, and suddenly, her stare turns into a glare. “Fuck, Derek! You don’t care about me. All you care about is screwing around with all these gir–”
“Fuck those bitches!” I say louder than I had intended, cutting her off before she can continue on her rampage, trying to tear me down. Oops. Hopefully I haven’t offended anyone, but it’s me we’re talking about here, so I’m sure I have. I look over at my sister momentarily who is chuckling with her husband. I guess she found my brazenness hilarious.
I turn back to Ellie who is staring at me like she can’t believe what I’ve just said. “Ellie, none of those girls compare or even come close to you. You’re all I want. All I need. No one else. I love you, Eloise.”
She looks at me with wide eyes. I guess she never thought she’d hear me say those three little words. But fuck, they’re so true. I love Ellie. I’ve loved her for so long, and I don’t want to let her go. I need her.
Before she can say anything, I move in, pulling her closer into me.
“Sweetheart, I love you,” I repeat, making sure she’s really grasped it. “I’ve been so in love with you for so long. I was so stupid for not letting you know how I felt sooner. I don’t want to let you go. I can’t let you walk out of my life, Ellie. I need you. No one else.”
She searches my eyes, looking to see if there’s any truth in what I’m saying.
“Derek,” she mumbles, almost inaudibly.
I shake my head. Thinking back on what she had said, I say, “Ells, I know you don’t think I’m capable of settling down or that I even want to. But I do. I really do. I only want you in my life, and if I have to spend every waking moment proving it to you, then dammit, so be it. No one else matters to me… you’re the only one I want, Eloise… today, tomorrow, and for the rest of my life.”
Tears begin falling down from Ellie’s eyes. I don’t want her to cry. I only want to make her happy.
“Sweetheart, please don’t cry,” I say, wiping at her tears.
She reaches up to grab my hand. “D, are you for real… everything you’ve said… you mean it?” she asks.
I break into a small smile, thankful that she’s finally hearing me out. “Every single word, baby. I love you so much.”
I’m about to lean down to place my lips onto hers, but before I have a chance to, she’s reaching up onto her tippy toes, ready to kiss me.
The taste of her lips is like heaven. I missed her in my arms like this so much. I just want to take her home and spend the rest of the night kissing her and letting her know how much I love her.
I deepen the kiss as our lips part, and I’m able to slide my tongue into her mouth to find hers. Once I do, she kisses me harder and places her hands behind my head. I chuckle and lift her up off her feet.
The crowd around us erupts into cheers and whistles. I had totally forgotten they were here.
I spin Ellie around, and for the first time in a long time, she’s smiling, and she’s smiling at me. It’s because of me that her beautiful smile is gracing her pretty face once more.
“Finally!” I hear Lauren as she leads Kev over to us. The music is once again playing, but this time, it’s an upbeat song.
Ellie and I chuckle. I bring her close, wrapping my arms around her waist.
“Finally,” Ellie repeats, glancing up at me.
“You’re telling me,” I wink at her, and she’s biting her lip. Fuck, she knows exactly what that does to me… I’m about to take her right into one of the bathrooms of this reception hall and have my way with her. It’s way past overdue, anyway…
“So, you know how I got a phone call after I gave you the ring?” Lauren says to Ellie.
“Yeah?” Ellie asks.
Lauren giggles, shaking her head. “Well, that was this bozo right here. He told me he would try one last time today to get through to you. I told him that I knew you would be on board… you know, the ring.”
Ellie’s eyes light up, and she looks at me.
“Yeah, and when I called you earlier… I was calling to tell you I was determined to make you mine if it was the last thing I’d do.”
Ellie bites her lower lip once more. Fuck me.
She turns to me and places her arms around my waist. “Is that so, Mr. Mykels?”
“It is, beauti
ful. I had to have you.”
“Okay. That’s our cue. Come, my love,” Lauren says, pulling Kev further out onto the dance floor. “Congratulations, you two.”
I chuckle at Lauren’s comment congratulating Ellie and I on finally getting together, I assume. I grab Ellie’s hand and lead her toward the corner of the room so that we have some privacy.
I smirk as she smiles devilishly at me. I’m so thrilled right now, I just want to make love to her well into the early morning hours. And if it’s up to me, it’s going to happen.
She leans in and whispers into my ear, “Well, now you do have me, King D.”
Fuck, there she goes calling me King D again. I’m really going to end up stripping her out of this dress right here and right now. I haven’t had her in so long, and I can’t wait to dive right back into her paradise.
“Oh, do I, Miss Eloise Evers? Does that mean you’re staying?” I whisper back, hopeful that she’s changed her mind about moving back to Asherville.
“Yes, I’m staying… with you. Lauren’s moving out, and I’m moving in.”
Damn, I love her impulsiveness right now. Lauren’s moving out, and Ellie’s moving in for good. What could be better?
My dick hardens at the thought of how the rest of our night is going to go. I’m taking her back to my place… our place.
“How’d I get so lucky all of a sudden?” I smile, pulling her closer and kissing her once more. I don’t think I’ll ever get enough of the sweet taste of her lips.
She pulls away just an inch. “You’re about to really get lucky, my king.” She winks at me.
Her king? Shit, I could so get used to this. Being Ellie’s king sounded so much better than just being King D. So much better.
Ellie giggles, and she reaches up once again to kiss me.
I love it. Fuck, this girl is everything. She’s perfect. I love her and can’t wait to serve my queen now and until forever more.