The Sheriff Wears Pants

by Kay, Joannie

  She wondered what Darcy would say when Priscilla announced her plans to marry? She pictured the other woman green with envy. There was a tap on her door, and then her father entered, carrying a small tray with a cup of hot chocolate on it. “Thank you, Papa,” she said politely.

  “I want you to know that I was wrong to punish you in that manner, daughter. Girls are a lot more delicate than boys, and I should have kept the spanking to the spot nature provided. I am sorry, Priscilla, and I hope you can forgive me.” It was a major concession from Geoffrey Clemons to humble himself in such a manner and Priscilla felt loved.

  “You are already forgiven, Papa. I know how disappointed you were when you read that article. I was shocked, too! I didn’t know that Darcy Hamilton thought I was trying to make a play for her fiancé! I didn’t think anyone would believe that, but I had people that I’ve known f’ever shunning me! I’m jus’ tankful you now know da truff… Papa, di’ you put…laud… in my ch’late?”

  “Yes, I did. Now lie back and go to sleep, honey. Tomorrow you will feel much better, and if you don’t, then you stay in bed and I’ll have Doc look at you.”

  “No Doc. He’s old. Just Bri…” Priscilla was asleep. Geoffrey took the cup from her hands and then gently turned her on her side so she wouldn’t lie on her back and make it hurt worse. Geoffrey kissed Priscilla’s cheek, and then turned the lamp down to where it was barely glowing, and he left her room and went downstairs, smiling and basking in her forgiveness.

  “Did she drink the laudanum, sir?” Brian asked, a worried look on his face.

  “Yes, I mixed it in with her hot chocolate and she didn’t realize it until her speech started slurring. Tomorrow she will have a mild hangover and I might need to keep her in bed. I want you to know that if I could take back that whipping back, I would. I hurt the child and the worst part of it all, she didn’t deserve a scold, much less a whipping like I gave her. Priscilla is a good girl and I should have known something wasn’t right. I apologized and she actually forgave me! I don’t deserve her forgiveness, but she gave it to me and told me she understood.

  “Son, if you are seriously interested in my Priscilla, then you will need to court her and get to know her better than you do now. I want you both to take the time to decide whether or not this attraction will last. If my daughter chooses you, and you can tell me you love her and are willing to be true to her for the rest of your life, then I will give my blessing. As for right now, you have my permission to court Priscilla.

  * * * * *

  Editorial April 20, 1871

  I decided to print the paper a day early in order to urge every man to do his duty and vote for the woman he feels best for the job of Sheriff. Yes, I said woman. I am supporting Miss Darcy Hamilton in the race for Sheriff of Cactus Hill and the surrounding area. She saved my life, and she saved Mr. Goode, and two other ladies who happened to be shopping in the store at the time of the robbery. It isn’t often we find a lady with so much courage, but instead of fainting dead away when there was a gun pointed at me, she swept up the other outlaw’s weapon and shot without hesitation. She disabled the would-be killer and saved my life, for which I am grateful. I do not dislike the present Sheriff, but I think it is time for a change. Miss Hamilton will make a diligent Sheriff, and I hope you will vote for her in tomorrow’s election.

  * * * * *

  “Don’t let it upset you, Miss Eleanor,” Will said as he looked over Waldo’s latest editorial. He should have run him out of town when he first arrived! The little man needed a swift kick where it would do some good! He didn’t mention one word about Darcy taking her name off of the ballot, and he encouraged everyone to vote for Darcy in spite of how she felt on the subject. He was going to use the scrawny reporter for target practice if Darcy was elected!

  “Waldo knows I do not wish to be elected!” Darcy exclaimed after she read the editorial. “How dare he campaign for me in this manner? I am going to punch him in the nose again!” she threatened, and Will could sense that she was serious. Her green eyes were flashing with temper and her tiny hands were balled into fists. He wasn’t sure that he wouldn’t have to protect Waldo from her, but if she were the Sheriff, she would be the one to have to protect Waldo! That thought almost made Will grin as he pictured himself doing some personal damage to the man!

  But personal feelings aside, Will said in a calming tone of voice, “Honey, I honestly think the best thing you can do right now is ignore Waldo. He rubs folks the wrong way with his weekly editorials. I think most of the men in town will do just the opposite of what Waldo wants. They think him a pompous fool!”

  “But what if I actually get elected?” she asked, doubt reflected in her pretty eyes.

  “You will refuse to accept the position,” Will calmly stated.

  “But, if I am elected by the people, how can I refuse?” she asked. If they put their trust in her, how could she let them down? It was an obligation, and she would need to think about it before she could refuse.

  “It is simple, you just say no to the Mayor. He knows you wanted your name off the ballot, so it shouldn’t come as a surprise when you tell him you refuse to accept the title.”

  “I know that would make you happy, Will, but I don’t think I could do such a thing.” If she was actually elected after she made it clear she wasn’t running, then it was because the people in town thought she would make a better sheriff than Will. It would be an obligation she couldn’t refuse, even though the thought of taking over Will’s job made her feel ill. It wasn’t what she wanted.

  “Oh, please! Don’t you two start off this day by arguing. We’ll see what the election results are before we discuss all of this nonsense.” Eleanor put her foot down. She didn’t want them arguing until there was a reason to argue, although she strongly agreed with Will. Eleanor promised herself that she would talk firmly with Darshana if she had to in order to dissuade her from wearing a badge! It was not a safe job for a woman, especially a woman like Darshana, who was gently raised! As for Waldo Phares, she was tempted to buy her own newspaper and put him out of business so fast his head would spin! If Darshana were elected due to his interference, she would do it just to watch him squirm.

  “You’re right, Gram. There is no reason to fuss over something that likely won’t happen.” Darcy felt like kicking herself for upsetting the elderly woman. Since that episode the other day, Gram’s color was not good, and Darcy was afraid for her. Doc had warned her that Eleanor had very little time left, but Darcy hadn’t wanted to hear it then, and she still didn’t! But, even to her untrained eyes, her grandmother was failing. Darcy wanted to make these last days of Gram’s life as wonderful as possible.

  “I’m sorry, Miss Eleanor. There are better topics to discuss over breakfast.” Will could see that the elderly woman was not well, and he mentally kicked himself for discussing a problem that might not exist.

  “Yes! Is it true that Molly Pearson ran off with Gordon Francis?” Eleanor asked, her green eyes twinkling merrily. Miss Eleanor loved to gossip when it was true.

  “Jeb Pearson is furious!” Will was only too willing to gossip if it entertained Miss Eleanor. “He lost his free labor to Gordon, and he practically ordered me to go after them and bring his girl back. I reminded him that Molly is of legal age and he can’t force her to come home unless she wants to. He cussed me out and said he was going after her himself. I reminded him that he could be arrested if he kidnapped her. He didn’t like that and accused me of siding with Gordon. I have to admit that I am tickled for Molly and Gordon. They are in love, and the only reason Jeb wants Molly to come home is because he can work her like a horse and pay her nothing. He is miserly with his money, and now he is going to have to hire two people to make up for losing Molly.”

  Eleanor clapped her hands. “Oh, how wonderful! When my friends come by today, I will have the latest to share! It’s usually the other way around!” It was easy to see the elderly woman was delighted, and Darcy and Will laughed along with h
er.

  Darcy enjoyed breakfast. It felt natural to have Will at the table again, and she could see that Gram was delighted. The only thing bothering her was the election. She would be mortified if she were elected. It was the last thing on earth she wanted right now. Hopefully, that wouldn’t happen and she was worrying for nothing. At least, once the election was over, they would never have to hear about it again!

  If Waldo Phares would have kept his nose out of it, the day would have passed by unnoticed by many and Darcy wouldn’t have this nagging feeling of impending doom in her stomach!

  * * * * *

  It was the Mayor’s job to count the ballots. He started by counting the ballots for and against spending money to improve the schoolhouse. It passed by ten votes. Then there was the election for town council. Since there was only one candidate, he was sure to be elected, but the Mayor had to go through the ballots one by one just in case there was a write in campaign of some sort. There wasn’t. People liked Herb Richards.

  The last set of ballots to count were the ones for Sheriff. The Mayor was shocked when he opened ten ballots before he got one vote for the present Sheriff! The men in town overwhelmingly elected Darcy Hamilton to be their new Sheriff. The Mayor didn’t look forward to delivering the news to either of the hotheaded people. He put his hat on his head and grimly walked over to the Sheriff’s office.

  “Mayor!” Will expected to hear that he was reelected as Sheriff, but instead he was told he was no longer employed as the Sheriff of Cactus Hill. Darcy stomped him in the polls! It was humiliating. “Darcy told you that she didn’t want to run, Mayor. She is going to refuse to take the job.”

  “If she does that, then, of course we will be happy to have you as our Sheriff. Frankly, I think the men in this town voted for Miss Darcy just to keep their wives from kicking them out of bed. I think a good hairbrush would have ended that nonsense, but a lot of men are wimps when it comes to their wives. They believe in the philosophy of ‘Happy wife, happy life!’ I believe in that up to a point, but I don’t think any of them considered what is going to happen when word gets out that Cactus Hill has a little girl for a Sheriff.”

  “The town will be in trouble. Even worse, my fiancée will be in serious trouble. What if some angry drunk takes a swing at her?” Will growled. “She is going to refuse to take the job, Mayor. She has to for her own sake.”

  “A lot of people will be disappointed, meaning the women in town will throw a fit. I might have to go and see Barney at the General Store and buy a case of hairbrushes to hand out to the men!” It was the Mayor’s turn to growl. “Sometimes I hate this job, Will.”

  “I understand, Mayor.”

  “I’ll be back to tell you what Miss Darcy has to say.”

  Will nodded, positive his fiancée would do as he suggested earlier that day. Miss Eleanor would insist Darcy be reasonable. If not, he could always do as the Mayor suggested and put the cute little redhead over his knee and redden her pretty bottom.

  * * * * *

  Malachi rode into Cactus Hill, his hat pulled low over his eyes, hiding his scarred face as much as possible. He couldn’t get caught until he made that bitch, Carlotta, pay. She turned him in, testified against him, and sent him to prison for eight years of his life. Worst of all, she divorced him while he was locked in that hellhole. He told her that he would kill her if she ever left him, and he meant it.

  But first, he was going to make her pay for turning him in and for all the beatings he suffered at the hands of the guards. All of it was her fault, and he might have forgiven her if she hadn’t divorced him! Now she would pay… once he found her.

  It took him two days to beat the truth out of the Doctor and his wife that Carlotta worked for until he was released from prison. When she heard he was out, she ran. The couple knew where she went, and the name she was using. The old Doctor was stubborn, and refused to talk… until Malachi started beating his wife. Then he talked, begging to be released from the ropes binding him to a chair so that he could tend his wife. Malachi took out a knife and slit the woman’s throat, and then he did the same to the doctor. They helped Carlotta deceive him and they had to pay, too.

  He had absolutely no conscience whatsoever.

  * * * * *

  “Mayor, come inside,” Darcy graciously invited him inside. “Gram and I were just getting ready to have a light supper. Would you care to join us?”

  “No, Miss Darcy. My wife will be waiting supper for me. I am here to let you know that you have been elected Sheriff.”

  “There must be some mistake, James,” Eleanor said firmly. “Darcy removed her name from consideration.”

  “I know, Miss Eleanor, but folks still voted for her and she won fair and square. I sure would hate to see the folks disappointed by a refusal to do the job she was elected to do. Miss Darcy will do a good job, I’m certain.” His personal feelings were different from his political ones.

  “It’s too dangerous. Besides, we already have a marvelous Sheriff in Will Davies,” Eleanor argued.

  “The voters want Miss Darcy. The vote wasn’t even close, ma’am.”

  “I absolutely forbid Darshana to take this job.” The elderly woman was incensed, and the Mayor hated upsetting her. “No. No. No. I won’t have it! You figure out something else, James. I will not permit my grandchild to do something so dangerous!”

  “Miss Eleanor, I’m sorry I need to be firm, but I need to remind you that Miss Darcy is of legal age, and this is her decision. I’ll try to handle it if you say no, Miss Darcy, but I truly wish you would at least give it a try for a while. You could hire Will as your deputy, and he could do the hard stuff?” the Mayor suggested.

  He was worried about Darcy, too. He’d known her since she was born, and she was the same age as his daughter Caroline. He’d paddle Caroline if she even suggested running for Sheriff, but then, her husband would probably beat him to it. Anyway, he couldn’t picture his Caroline doing something of this nature.

  “What do you say, Miss Darcy? Are you going to let me swear you in?”

  “I want to hear the numbers, Mayor. How close was the election?”

  “Will only received forty-nine votes. You received close to two hundred. If the score were only one or two off, it wouldn’t be unbelievable to give Will the job if you didn’t want it. But this is so definitely yours that I have to urge you to accept the vote.”

  “Very well,” Darcy decided. “I’ll do my very best.” She walked the Mayor to the door and then returned to the parlor where her Gram sat waiting for her.

  “You can’t mean this, Darshana. You need to think this through! Why, child, I couldn’t bear it if you were harmed. Why are you even considering taking this upon yourself?” Eleanor asked when she saw the tears in the eyes so like her own. “Please, dear, tell me what you are thinking.”

  “Oh, Gram, I don’t want to do this, but if that many people actually voted for me it must mean they really want me as Sheriff. It could be they just want a change, or it could be that they want to see me fall flat on my face! I have no clue, but I cannot just say ‘too bad’ to all those people without making an attempt to do the job. I promise I am going to take the Mayor’s suggestion and try to talk Will into helping me. If he will have my back, then I will manage to do this for a short time, at least until people see he is doing the work I cannot possibly do.”

  “My dear, this election is all Waldo Phares’ doing. And with the married women pushing their husbands to vote for you, you were elected. I am sure that most of the men who voted for you didn’t think their vote would make a difference in the outcome, but they would be able to tell their wives that they voted for you! This whole thing is a travesty. I am positive that the men of this town are going to be shocked to hear you won.”

  “Then they will go to the Mayor and tell him so, and I will be relieved of the job. My biggest concern, Gram, is Will. He must be so devastated to hear that I was elected over him. I want to go to him and hug him, but I am afraid that
he is going to blame me and hate me.”

  “I doubt that, honey. That boy loves you so much. What he isn’t going to like is that you accepted the job. I believe he is going to feel your loyalty should be to him, and not to the town.

  * * * * *

  Louisa felt uneasy. It was the same feeling she used to get when she knew it was time for Malachi to come home at the end of each day; the waiting to learn whether he was in a good mood, or in a bad mood and ready to take it out on her. She used to feel so helpless, and she knew there was no point in going to her Pa to ask for help. If her Pa decided to speak to Malachi, she was sure that Malachi would agree to everything her Pa said, and once he was gone, he would turn on her and beat her senseless for daring to complain to her Pa about him.

  She was sure he was close by. Why else would her skin be crawling and her stomach feel like it was being turned inside out? Perhaps she should pack her belongings and leave town? But, the only people who knew she was here were Doctor and Mrs. English, and they would die before they would send her crazed, abusive ex-husband after her. No, she could trust those dear people. Then why did she feel so frightened?

  Chapter Six

  “She said what?” Will exploded. “Is she out of her everlasting mind?” He looked at the Mayor in disbelief. What on earth was Darcy thinking? She did not owe those foolish voters her very life, and that is what she would be giving up if she went through with this foolishness of wearing a badge!

  “Son, you are a good lawman, and I won’t lie, I voted for you because I don’t think that little girl can keep this town and its people safe. I would feel better if you would act as her deputy.”