The Sheriff Wears Pants

by Kay, Joannie

  “Oh, hell no!” Will adamantly refused. “I won’t stay where I’m not wanted, and this town has made it perfectly clear that they prefer a woman over me!” His pride was severely bruised and if not for the fact he loved Darcy, Will would already be on his way out of Cactus Hill!

  “Will, I am begging you, not as the Mayor, but as your friend, James Mason. I don’t want to see that little girl hurt. You know very well what is going to happen to Darcy! Outlaws will ride in here and think it great sport to rape her over and over just because she is wearing that badge. Please, I will even pay you out of my own pocket to stay and help her. I know you’re mad as hell right now, and with good reason. But, I also know you love Darcy. She won’t wear that badge long before the town recants their vote. They’ll be begging you to put the badge back on. Give it a month, son. Please? For Darcy’s sake. If anything happens to that girl, Miss Eleanor’s heart will give out, and this town will be responsible.” James was upset and it showed on his face.

  “I’ll stick around for one month, James, but if Darcy doesn’t come to her senses by then, she’ll wish she had.” He would simply kidnap her, take her away from Cactus Hill, and let the people worry about finding another woman foolish enough to think they can enforce the law!

  “You know darn well I think a spanking would solve a lot of problems in this town. The men who voted for Darcy are all married, and I would bet on that!” James sputtered. “I hope that if we give them a sample of what having a female Sheriff is like, they will come to their senses.”

  “We’ll try it your way, James, but I can tell you right now that I plan to make Darcy wish she’d said no to this.” Will was going to spank her cute little butt, and this time he would toss up her skirts. He was going to make a firm point and make Darcy regret she hadn’t done as she was told.

  “As Mayor I had to urge her to accept the badge. As James Mason, I would paddle her silly for doing so. I know that’s a contradiction, but there are times when the best thing for the town isn’t what I would like.”

  “I understand, James.” The older man’s words made Will feel somewhat better. Still, his Darcy could be in serious danger due to the stupidity of some men who didn’t want their Saturday night nookie taken away because the little woman was mad over the election! He’d love to tell this town to go to hell, but he couldn’t do that, not with his Darcy here. Somehow, he had to stay next to her and keep her safe.

  * * * * *

  “I cannot believe this!” Eleanor expressed her disapproval as Darcy came downstairs dressed in pants, and a gun belt strapped around her tiny waist. To Eleanor’s aging green eyes there was nothing feminine or ladylike about the snug pants, and in her opinion, wearing a gun belt tied down in that manner claimed that Darcy knew how to use a gun when she did not! Oh, she could point and shoot and hit her target, but draw a gun? No! “You are dressed inappropriately, Darshana Elizabeth!”

  “I can’t wear a dress and work as the Sheriff, Gram.” Darcy attempted to explain. “The fabric in my skirts makes it harder to chase someone down, and I can’t strap my gun on over them. Also, the skirts tell everyone I am a woman. This way, if I tuck my hair up under my hat, I look like a boy.”

  “Your fiancé is going to be livid with you.” Eleanor hoped that mention of Will’s probable reaction would bring Darshana to her senses.

  “I expect he will be,” Darcy answered, knowing full well that her grandmother was speaking the truth. “Gram, my plan is to make the town wish they’d elected Will. How am I going to handle drunks who are three times my size? I mean, yes, I know Karate, but it’s like Will says, size and strength wins out every time. And, a bullet could care less that I know Karate. My goal is to diffuse situations before they get violent. I cannot do that wearing skirts. I need to be able to back up what I say with what I do know how to do, and that is Karate.”

  “I am opposed to this, Darshana.” Eleanor was furious, and if she was capable, she would shake the girl and lock her in her room and then she would take a stick to the Mayor! She started having chest pains, but did her best to hide that fact from Darshana.

  “I know you are opposed, Gram. So am I. It won’t take me long to make the town wish they had Will back.”

  “If you don’t get yourself killed in the meantime, child!” Eleanor was truly frightened.

  “Gram, please calm down. I’m upset and nervous, and I don’t want to feel guilty, too. I also don’t want you to worry yourself into a heart attack. Please. I give you my word that I will be very careful.”

  “I love you so much, Darshana.”

  “I love you so much, too, Gram. You are so special to me.” She went to give her a big hug and noticed how frail she was. She’d lost weight again! And there were lines of pain around her mouth!

  “I’ve said my piece, and now I will hold my peace,” Gram said. “You keep your promise to me, child.”

  “I will, Gram. Why don’t you go and rest until it’s time for dinner?” Darcy suggested, trying not to give in to the panic she was feeling.

  “I think I will.” Eleanor didn’t feel well at all, and she needed to rest. It wasn’t time for her to leave Darshana just yet.

  Louisa came into the front parlor and said, “Did I hear you say you wanted to rest, Miss Eleanor?” Louisa didn’t sleep well last night, and she could do with a nap herself.

  “Yes, dear. I’m very tired.”

  Louisa nodded, and then pushed her employer’s chair toward the back of the house. Louisa was feeling queasy, and she worried that her peace was about to be shattered. The warning feeling was letting her know that Malachi was near. But, how could she leave these wonderful people and run away… again? Miss Eleanor didn’t have long, and Louisa didn’t want to abandon her… or Darcy. Darcy was going to take Miss Eleanor’s death very hard. Besides, sooner or later Louisa was going to need to stand up to Malachi. She couldn’t keep running and changing her name. He would do whatever it took to keep finding her, and she knew that for a fact.

  * * * * *

  Will was not a happy man as he walked over to the Hamilton house. Temper was not the best way to deal with Darcy, especially if she felt she was doing the right thing. Still, he was going to make a few things very clear. He stomped up the front porch steps and knocked on the door, determined that he was going to make his strong-willed redhead see sweet reason.

  “I’ve been expecting you, Will,” Darcy said when she answered the door. “I have decided to do as the voters asked… at least for a while.” She stood there nervously as his dark eyes raked over her, taking in her attire.

  “Not dressed like that, you won’t!” he growled angrily.

  “Be reasonable, Will! Would you wear a dress if you were wearing a badge?” she asked in a sarcastic tone of voice.

  “No, but then, I am a man. You are a woman and women wear dresses, not pants!” Will reminded himself to stay calm and not lose his temper. He needed to talk to Darcy, give her enough facts that she could make the right decision. Damn those voters for doing this to her!

  “Oh, I know quite a few women who wear pants. Cassie Martin wears pants all the time.” Darcy couldn’t have picked a name that would spark Will’s temper more than Cassie Martin’s did! He reached for Darcy and she quickly stepped out of reach.

  “Cassie Martin needs a good spanking, and so do you. Go and change right now.” He was losing the battle with his temper. “Cassie Martin is unreasonable, and so are you! Go and put a dress on!” he growled.

  “I will not! I need to be prepared if there is trouble of any kind.” Darcy thought she was being perfectly reasonable and Will couldn’t see the forest for the trees! He was just set in his ways! And, he was upset that she beat him in the polls!

  “We are going to discuss this reasonably, Darshana Elizabeth Hamilton. I am trying to be patient, but those pants and that gun belt are not making that likely. Either you go and change, or else!” He gave her one last chance!

  “Will, I explained to you why I am dressed
this way. Please stop giving me grief. I am not going to wear a dress until the town kicks me out of office.”

  Will rolled his dark eyes heavenward in one last attempt to control his temper. “Okay.” Will grabbed her and two seconds later, her gun belt was lying on the floor. “No, Will! I mean it.” She tried to flip him as she had the outlaw in the store, but it didn’t work. Instead, Will picked her up and carried her over to the settee, where he took a seat, and then dropped her over his knee. “No, don’t you dare!” she yelled, positive she knew what he intended to do, and equally positive she didn’t want him to do it!

  “I dare. You need to listen to me, you stubborn little redhead! And the only way I know to get your attention is to turn your butt red.” Will had to admit that she had a lot less padding covering her posterior this time. He smacked her rounded bottom and was surprised at the exclamation out of her mouth. “Talk like that is going to get your mouth soaped, little girl!” he warned, spanking her again.

  “But, it hurts!” she squealed as he continued to mete out a spanking that hurt like the very devil. “Stop! Stop!”

  “There is no way I am going to stop, Darcy. You need this spanking in the worst way and I’m surprised Miss Eleanor didn’t send for me to administer it. This Sheriff thing is ridiculous. You are going to get yourself killed if you aren’t careful!”

  “I’m planning to be careful!” she yelled as his hand slid down to spank her sit spots. This spanking was so much worse than the other one! She wished she had on a dress and all of her petticoats. It would still hurt, but not as much, she reasoned.

  “How is dressing in men’s pants that show every detail of your pretty backside going to keep you out of trouble, Darcy? When men see you dressed like that I am sure they’re going to get ideas.”

  “Cassie Martin never has trouble.”

  There was that name again, and Will growled! If Darcy thought for one minute that he was going to permit her to act like Cassie, then she’d best think again! All that acting like Cassie Martin would accomplish was to get her seat soundly spanked every time she turned around! “Yes she does have trouble, all of the time, in fact, I’ve tossed two men into a jail cell because they tried to rape her. She needs her behind spanked just as much as you do.”

  “Ow! Stop, Will! I need to wear pants because I can’t fight in a dress. Don’t be silly, Will! Ow. Ow! Ow! You are hurting me!” she cried out.

  “That is the whole purpose of this exercise.”

  “I am going to arrest you and toss you in jail,” she threatened only to have him snort in a dismissive manner. “I mean it, damn you!” How she would accomplish it, she didn’t know, but she was going to do it!

  “I mean this, too!” He hoped her butt was stinging as much as his hand. Maybe he was going to need to see Barney and buy a good sturdy hairbrush that would make a serious impression on her backside. “Are you ready to listen to me?”

  “No! I’m ready to arrest you, and don’t think I won’t do it, too!”

  There was a thin volume of poetry lying on the coffee table. Will picked it up and started spanking Darcy with it. The book accomplished what his hand couldn’t, or else his hand created such a fire that she was already near tears and he had no idea. He continued to paddle her with the book until she was sobbing. “Now then, are you ready to listen to me?” he asked a second time.

  “Yes!” she whispered.

  “Good.” He gently picked her up and then sat her on his lap, ignoring her hiss of pain. “You are my fiancée, Darcy, and I love you more than life. I am going to give you some rules that I expect you to obey. If you don’t obey me, I’m going to buy a hairbrush and use it on you until you promise not to disobey me again. Hear me so far?”

  “Yes.”

  “Good. These rules aren’t to be mean to you, honey, but to protect you from any crazed killer who will hear that Cactus Hill has a lady sheriff. First of all, you don’t go on any calls by yourself. You never know what you’ll find. Second of all, do not let some idiot goad you into a gunfight. You aren’t fast with your gun. Three, if you do get into a situation, don’t make waves, and don’t try to fight your way out of it unless you have no choice. I will come and rescue you. Four, do not wear these pants. They give me ideas, and I don’t want any man thinking of you in those terms.”

  “I am the Sheriff, and I will set my own rules. Whoever I hire as a deputy will help with the tough stuff.”

  “I am acting Deputy,” Will informed her.

  “No you aren’t. I haven’t decided whom I am going to hire, but if I hire you, you will be the one in charge, and that defeats the whole purpose of my being elected. I am going to do this job to the best of my ability… until the town throws a fit and says enough.”

  “I can see I am going to need to go and see Barney and pick out a sturdy hairbrush.”

  “If you spank me again, I promise I will arrest you and throw you in jail. Won’t Waldo enjoy writing about that?” she threatened, knowing full well she would shoot Waldo if he printed that.

  There was a scream from the back of the house and Will was on his feet and running before Darcy realized that it was her job to investigate and took off after him, running as fast as she could, but still not catching the big man.

  “What’s wrong?” Darcy heard Will ask before she reached the room.

  “It’s Malachi!” Louisa sobbed against Will as he comforted her. “He’s found me!”

  “What has happened?” Eleanor asked worriedly, holding onto the doorframe with one hand and holding a pistol in the other.

  “Gram, where is your wheelchair?” Darcy asked, shocked to see the elderly woman on her feet. She took her arm to steady her.

  “I wanted to get here as fast as I could,” Eleanor explained, but she gratefully sat on the chair that Will carried across Louisa’s room for her to sit upon.

  “Oh, Miss Eleanor, I am here to take care of you, not for you to take care of me!” Louisa sobbed, kneeling on the floor in front of the elderly woman.

  “Don’t cry, dear. You know we consider you family.” Eleanor placed her hand on Louisa’s shoulder, offering comfort. “Please tell us who this Malachi person is so that we may deal with him.” Eleanor was shaking from the effort of walking so far. She normally walked a bit in her bedroom, but the rest of the time, she used her wheelchair so that her legs didn’t give out from the effort of walking, but that scream spelled trouble, and she wasn’t one to do nothing if her household was threatened.

  “Oh, Miss Eleanor, I don’t want you to think badly of me. We were very poor when I grew up, and I knew that if I married, there would be more food for the others. Malachi seemed like a nice boy, so I married him when I was fifteen and he was eighteen. I didn’t find out for five years that he was supporting us by stealing from others. By then he was slapping me around, and furious that I wasn’t with child. I regretted marrying him, but I couldn’t go home. When I learned the truth about Malachi, I went to the police and turned him in. I didn’t know it then, but there were several rewards for information about the robberies. I received enough money to support myself while I went to nursing school.

  “Malachi swore he would kill me, but I thought that he would calm down in eight years. He didn’t. He kept sending me hate-filled letters, outlining all of the horrid things he intended to do to me when he got out. I divorced him while he was in prison. I couldn’t bear the thought of staying married to him. He went wild in prison when he received the divorce papers, and they put him in solitaire for two weeks to keep him from killing someone in a fit of temper. I was getting ready to lie down for a moment or two while you were resting, Miss Eleanor, when I glanced up and saw him in my window! I came here with a different name, hoping to hide from Malachi, when I heard he was released from prison. The Warden wrote to me, warning me that Malachi was still swearing revenge… but there was nothing he could do. Malachi served every last day of his sentence, and the six months extra he earned for hitting a guard when he first arrived, and t
he Warden had to release him. I don’t know how he found me so quickly. Doctor and Mrs. English were the only ones who knew my new name, and that I was working for Doctor Grayson to take care of you, Miss Eleanor. I’m so sorry I frightened you by screaming, but I am terrified of him.”

  “I’ll go and see if I can find him. You ladies stay right here in this house,” Will ordered, reacting normally.

  “No. I am Sheriff now, and it is my job to find this Malachi person.”

  “Do you honestly think I’m going to permit you to go after someone dangerous, little girl? Now stay inside this house or I swear I will paddle you again.” Will stomped off after giving Darcy a warning look.

  “My goodness, Darshana! Did Will spank you again?” Eleanor asked.

  “Gram, I don’t want to discuss my blazing backside! Will just doesn’t understand how I feel, and he thinks that manhandling me is going to get me to obey him when I can’t. I have to show some respect to the voters who thought me good enough to be Sheriff. Now, to that end…. Gram, will you stay right here with Louisa, please. Shoot to kill if anyone you don’t know comes popping through the door or the window. You do have bullets in your gun, don’t you?” Darcy asked, all business.

  “Yes, this gun is loaded, and I might be old, but I haven’t forgotten how to use it if necessary.”

  “I believe in you, Gram. I’ll be back soon. I hope I find that lowlife and can send him back to prison for harassing you, Louisa.” Darcy took off running, anxious to find Malachi and lock him up so that he couldn’t harm Louisa. Even with that worry, she still had to smile at her dear Gram for showing her feisty side. How many times had she heard her say, “Even a lady can have a feisty side when necessary, Darshana.”

  It was sheer luck that brought Darcy to the livery stable in town just in time to see a strange man trying to get a place for his mount for the night. She pulled her gun and approached quietly. “Malachi?” she called, and the man turned, surprise on his features. “I’m Sheriff Hamilton, and you are under arrest.”