by Zi'ere
No matter what though, I loved Angel as my sister thus making those kids my nieces but more importantly my God-babies. In true hood rat fashion, Angel had four baby daddies that ranged from millionaires to street boys. Somehow each man turned out to be happily married to someone else; the wives forbade acknowledgment of the outside kids. Angel was a true single mother through and through. Whenever Angel decided she had enough of being a mother she would simply disappear, leaving her oldest daughter Amaya to parent at the age of fifteen. Times such as those my godchild would call me on her cell phone and I would drop everything to pick up the kids to stay with me until Angel resurfaced again. That process has taken as long as four days in the past. Sometimes Angel’s actions caused us to think she had an underlying drug problem. I just settled upon the fact that she had the deadliest addiction a woman could have, a wealthy man. Attempting to catch that big fish caused her to neglect the most important job she had in being a mother.
12
I know knew that Angel was alive and well so the only thing I could do was rest on the faith that Amaya would contact me by any means necessary if I was truly needed. All this heavy thinking had my head pounding, then the realization that I needed to eat hit my stomach and brain at the same time. I grabbed my cell and belted “call D” into the speaker. My big brother Darrell was my second favorite man in the world after my father.
“Hi baby Steph” Darrell swooned into the phone. His tone of voiced was always the same with me, full of admiration.
“Hey, I was calling to see if you wanted to grab something to eat with me.” Being that it was an early Friday afternoon, I knew he would be available to have lunch at the drop of a dime.
“Actually we were just about to call you. Everybody’s here at the dealership on Lanier.”
Just then I realized I was on speaker phone. “Hi homies!” I belted.
“Hi baby Steph” they all sung in unison.
“Okay, I can be at Benihana’s in thirty minutes. Is that okay for you guys?”
Terrell spoke up, “Yes, that’s fine. I see them pulling my car around now. We will be there shortly. Don’t get out of your car until we get there though.”
I couldn’t help but roll my eyes and let out a small sigh. There really was no point in arguing with my other daddy.
“Ok, I will see you guys in a minute.”
“Love you” they chorused.
“Love you guys too.” That part always put a smile on my face. I knew I was treasured by the Haywood men; second to none other than Anna.
After a pleasant scene like that you would never suspect those gentlemen knew how to show their asses really well. No matter how many letters were behind their names or who was featured in what magazine as an eligible bachelor, they were a mini gang. Thanks be to the most high that we had a lawyer in the family. Although it was not often, they sometimes needed an attorney on retainer seriously! One conflict in my life was enough. I didn’t have the energy to take on my 4 dad’s tonight so I intended to do as I was told. Backing out of the garage I noticed a flower delivery woman heading to my front door. I called out to her as I cut the ignition. I signed for a dozen hot pink roses, my favorite flowers. The card attached read, ‘I hope these brighten your day just like your smile brightens mine.’ No doubt who they were from and he had delivered on his hope because I was cheesing so hard my cheeks began to hurt. After I put the flowers on the nightstand next to my bed I set out to meet my daddies.
Behind the wheel my mind began to wander again. Angel was definitely tripping. The longer she took to call me back the guiltier I felt. Deep down I knew exactly why Angel was avoiding me. Two weeks ago I accepted an invitation to travel to New Orleans to watch the Saints play a home game and party on Bourbon St. Most importantly, I would be out of the state and none of my dad’s would be there to monitor my fun. Only problem was the invitation came from the only man Angel wanted but could not have, Cedric Goldman. He and I had been conversing on the low for a while now and I knew the mini vacation would put me on front street with my brothers and Angel. I just didn’t know she would know about it before I got back or that she would still be crushing on this man as a grown woman. Angel had a concrete reputation as having loose panties. Only a few men passed my dad’s criteria, a huge chunk of them were then disqualified by having dealings with Angel. I really knew better than to bring Ced’s name up to her, ever.
13
Angel was territorial over men who didn’t seem to want her. I just didn’t anticipate him being so serious about me from the start. I’d never even considered Ced a candidate for a long term relationship and certainly not marriage. Former hoop star status plus fat pockets equaled women being kept in all corners of the world. Angel on the other hand, had high hopes of among the chosen few after he ended the relationship with the mother of his children. She’d voiced this desire to me too many times to count. The only advice I could offer was to approach him totally different than she’d ever approached a man before. But no matter what tricks she pulled out of her bag, she could not get Ced’s attention. Angel and I were polar opposites when it came to the subject of men. Angel set her mark and then stepped to any man she wanted. Stephanie on the other hand, never approached any man; never, ever.
Cedric wasn’t the average run of the mill guy. He was a six foot six, had the skin complexion of a caramel square, athletic build, with a smile that would put Morris Chestnut to sleep. Not only was Ced a looker with a model walk, he was a wealthy self- made man. Fresh out of high school Ced was recruited as a first round draft pick into the NBA. After a sports injury knocked him out the game, he used his wealth to implement phase two of his money making life. He owned competition businesses in our city on all fronts and was also very illegal in the streets. Despite having deep pockets to start, the easy money at high numbers couldn’t be turned down by a man who thought he could lose everything. Cedric was the secret leader of street pharmaceutical sales for the state. In addition to his businesses, Ced was the proud father of two little girls and one son.
At any given time he would be hauled into court to prove time & time again that he was not the father of some random chick’s newborn baby. After too many suits had run his kid’s mother into the arms of another man, Ced cut her off. In his sometimes grimy world loyalty was everything. Having the paternity of his daughters questioned by another seasoned basketball player was the proverbial straw that ended Ced’s dedication to his children’s mother. She’d violated & Ced did not hesitate to move on with his life. Unfortunately for her & Angel, he knew who he wanted from the beginning- Stephanie Haywood. The decision was a no brainer for him to seek whom he thought he should have had from the start. There were only six problems with Ced wanting me in his life: Angel, Greg, Terrell, Carlos, Darrell, and John! Honestly in Ced’s defense he was on the finishing end of cleaning up and legalizing all his money but I knew none of the Haywood men would care about that one bit.
14
A knock on my driver’s side window pulled me out of my thoughts. I cut off the ignition and unlocked the doors. John opened my door and offered me his hand to help me out the car. Once my feet hit the ground I was bombarded with kisses and hugs. I had no idea I was walking into a trap. As soon as we reached the hostess stand we were approached by our favorite waitress and led to our favorite table. After Shelia confirmed our regular orders and walked away my brothers started to discuss our weekend.
“Since you were out of town with your sorrors last weekend Baby, the Haywood’s need to get out!” Carlos was the party planner of our clique. Next to me, he really lived the life of a socialite retiree.
“Let’s do it!” I agreed.
“Okay Baby, we will be at your house tomorrow afternoon around 3 so have your bags packed to stay out in the country until Monday at least. I haven’t decided if we will stay at my house the whole time or if we will go spend time with the ‘rents.” Terrell commanded.
“I wanna go shopping. I haven’t been shopping since my las
t conference” John stated. John had the style of a GQ model and no expense was spared on his wardrobe. None of my brothers were slackers, but John was always photo-shoot ready regardless of the time of day or night.
“Okay John we are going to hit up the mall so you can continue to rip the runway, don’t worry.” Carlos had little patience for shopping, we all knew this.
“Mama was an angel in that dress last night.” Carlos stated.
“That was Ralph Lauren, Blue Label. Remember we got that on our shopping trip to Miami a few months ago?” I made it my business to always know what labels my mom wore on her body.
Although she was a couple inches taller than me, her body still looked the same way it had before she started bearing children. It was easy to find flattering clothing for her size eight frame.
“Oh, yea- Terrell you owe me a bill because you bet Ma wouldn’t wear a halter dress. I going to need to collect my bread now, please and thank you.” Carlos outstretched his hand in Terrell’s face.
“We sound like some spoiled ass teenagers! Who has these types of conversations with their brothers and sisters?” Terrell asked.
“We are a product of our environment. Face it we work hard to play harder. I don’t do all that I do to dress like a hippie. I like lookin good, end of discussion.” John had a point.
“It’s always just been us. Dad got us hooked early, no homo- but the way we look is captured in internet blogs and magazines at the local Winn Dixie Supermarket.” John was the voice of reason.
“No homo? Really? You think that is needed when you talk to your best friends?” People talked about our family all the time, I got defensive every time in return with whoever it was.
“I agree with John, we were born with silver spoons in all of our mouths, forget the haters! We work hard to play hard. We dress the best and set trends for the rest.”
“Seriously, I’m just saying though” John began to rub his chin. “Dad was killing the game in Armani- from head to toe! That’s how he’s doing it now? His shoe game is sick, I gotta regroup! I’m glad I didn’t have a date up in there because daddy woulda shut me down! I can’t have that; ya’ll know how I do.”
John was engulfed in laughter surrounding him. Anybody out dressing John was the ultimate no-no in his eyes. My brother was way more into fashion than what a normal straight man should be. He made sure the Haywood’s never graced the fashion don’t lists. If I didn’t know how much he loved women who were just as beautiful as he, I would really question is sexuality. I was sure the brother arched his eyebrows, his man-scaping was on point.
“Yes sir, those oxfords set will set you back a grip. They looked good on his feet though.” I struggled to contain a straight face as I openly admitted to helping my dad out dress the bros.
15
My dad liked his sons to believe his swag was maintained independently; when actually my dad and I spent a lot of time shopping together. Correction: I picked out and he paid.
“You mean to tell me you were part of that assault on me? I thought you were a friendly ally Baby?” John had a look of disbelief on his face. “I can’t believe you would do this to me!”
Laughing too hard and much too fast caused my drink to go up my nose. The entire table was laughing except John.
“Relax sweetheart, you know I got your back! I got you some Gucci loafers at the same time I got dad’s shoes. They’re in my trunk right now.”
John’s manicured hands went flying into the air and he quickly crossed his legs.
“For real girl? What color?” John did a poor imitation of a flamboyant man, placing the back of his hand on his forehead and snapping his fingers three times in a circle.
Total hysteria erupted around the table. Terrell had to get out of his seat and walk away. I had tears coming out of my eyes I was laughing so hard.
“Oh lawd, boy you are crazy! I know Mama didn’t let you hit your head as a child, what in the world happened to you?” Terrell shouted at John three tables away.
Good thing Shelia already knew the deal when the Haywood’s came into this fine establishment. We were always seated in a corner away from any potential customers we could disturb.
With my head resting in my hands, I described the shoes. I knew I would fall back into heavy laughter if I looked at John’s facial expressions.
“White, blue and red; the Gucci insignia is across the tongue with brown pebble soles. I got them to go with that white linen suite you got when we were in Houston. Trust me Daddy ain’t seen those yet.”
John got out of his chair and walked around the table to hug me.
After he had planted a kiss on my forehead he returned to his seat.
“That’s right, that all white party is coming up.” Carlos spoke up.
“Yea, we gotta decide if we are taking dates or stepping out as 4:1.” Terrell added.
Four to one is what we called ourselves when we went out on the social scene without dates; four boys to one girl. Thinking of Ced’s words ‘the sooner the introductions are made the sooner we can get on with our plans’ resounded in my ears. I would have to come clean very soon. I didn’t know how much longer I would have with my secret.
Deciding that was another subject for another time I offered, “we still have time to decide what we want to do about that. Mom might already have dates for us anyway.”
“True!” Carlos spoke.
“God, I hope not. I just got Bre to stop calling me last week; I can’t handle another crush right now.” Terrell had come close to pressing harassing communication charges against mom’s last blind date fix up.
Bre was a little too pushy for the Alpha male Terrell was. I understood any woman wanting to hold his attention would have to be just as powerful in her own life as he was in his but she would have to also be humble to a fault. Terrell wanted to be the boss in every aspect of his life.
“Poor thing didn’t look like a stalker, did she?” My words collided with four sets of icy stares. I giggled, “my bad, I take that back.”
Terrell didn’t find my words the least bit amusing, “ANYWAY, even though I have so much more I could say about Bre- I have to change the subject. There is a more serious issue we need to address and that’s you, Baby.”
17
Once again, four sets of eyes shot me daggers. Carlos reached into his back pocket and pulled out a white envelope. When he broke the seal, several five by seven pictures of me and Ced were thrown in front of me.
“We would like to know what were you doing with Cedric Goldman in New Orleans?” Terrell spewed.
I looked up in sheer amazement, how in the world did they find that out? That was the whole reason I went to another state in the first place! My mouth went dry and my eyes refused to blink. I was completely caught off guard and for that I was going to have a come to Jesus with Darrell. I did not sleep on the fact that my brothers discussed every detail of our lives in depth when they were alone. Only difference is, Darrell never kept those conversations secret from me even though he promised he wouldn’t tell a soul. I knew about all of their late night creeps and stalkers. My eyes flew to D’s and in an instant he looked away. Terrell still hadn’t taken his seat. He chose to stand over me with his hands on his hips. The legal jargon ‘badgering the witness’ came to mind. I did not appreciate his tone or body language in the slightest.
“Cedric who?” My eyes flew to Terrell’s. I had momentarily forgotten about the proof they had in color.
“Don’t you even try it sister girl!” This is why Terrell and I had such a strained relationship as it was.
He vehemently thought he was Greg Haywood and equally thought he should get the same level of respect. He totally overlooked the fact that Daddy never cornered me and demanded information from me about anything. I was always comfortable enough with Daddy to confess my sins on my own. I always felt like I needed to retain my own personal attorney when I needed to talk to Terrell.
“Stop stalling and answer my question right
now Stephanie Anna Marie Haywood!”
“It doesn’t even matter what you say, we’ve already had a meeting of the minds with Cedric. He is on notice that he is not to be associated with you in any form, not now, not ever.” Carlos was the second oldest and always the first to stand behind his big brother.
I could only buck my eyes in a shocked expression at the way Terrell and Carlos were talking to me. I honestly believed he had forgotten that Benihana’s was not a courtroom. Carlos had never really used force with me before but then again I’d never deliberately done anything I knew they wouldn’t approve of. And, they’d already talked to Ced. Attitude immediately over rid my need to be lady like and polite.
“Look, let me tell you something: you don’t get to badge me like I’m one of your hostile witnesses in the courtroom. Nor do you force words from my mouth about whomever I may be seen talking to on the street. Every last one of ya’ll have the liberty of seeing whomever you choose, whenever you choose. Nobody ever says a word about the high frequency of women coming and going in ya’lls life! Do you ever think that I get lonely?” I looked at the four of their faces, one by one.” Do you ever think that I need companionship? I really am missing companionship in my life. Everywhere I go I am surrounded by people with my DNA! I went to mom & dads after my party- alone! When was the last time you’ve spent a birthday alone Mr. Hot Shot Attorney? I’m not saying I’m marrying Ced, least of all dating him, but I do desire someone in my life. I really think I’m ready. I’ve only spent most of my adult life with a few dates scattered here and there over the years because the men that like me are afraid of ya’ll!”
“Baby-“
I cut Terrell off; I was done listening to his words.
“Let me take that back- I’ve only had a few dates because they either don’t measure up to ya’lls standards or they have been excluded by Angel’s extracurricular activities!”
“Baby, calm down! This is going too far!”
The cover model John spoke in a hushed tone but with deliberate seriousness.