by Zi'ere
Prologue
42
It was ten o’clock in the morning and I was curled up on the couch in the living room of the house I was forced to move into. I had no specific place to be. When Laini re-opened the doors of the Jefferies & Barton building, she had legal documentation to keep me away. While I was busy hatching plans to cut the Jefferies out of my business, they were quicker in making their plans legal. Having the legal end of my plans should have been step one seeing as to how my brother-in-law was a high profile attorney. My plans were so deceitful that I didn’t have the nerve to let anyone know how underhanded I could be in my business and personal affairs. Darrel had thought he married an upstanding classy woman. Instead of planning and plotting the downfall of someone else, I should have been trying to be the best me I could be. Amina, Zoey, and Laini made it look so easy. Surely I could have made a better good girl than the three of them put together.
No matter what though, I was sold out by my own flesh and blood. Amina had gone to Terrell and had the legal documents drawn up that would leave me in no position to make decisions in her absence. At the time her absence had been in anticipation of her next pregnancy and the time she would be out for maternity leave. Evidently she was also considering selling her shares in the corporation but she didn’t trust me enough to sell them to me. I could see where I had been shady with my sister. But no matter what though, I was still her flesh and blood, not Laini. There was no responsibility to be taken when it came to how Amina had forced my hand. Everything was Amina’s fault. Had she loved me like she loved Carlos, everything wouldn’t be ruined for me right now. Those damned Haywood’s were more precious to her than me.
I understand that I caused some pretty bad events to happen, but I still didn’t deserve to be ousted by Amina. Nothing else mattered to me other than what my husband thought of me. And now, he didn’t think of me at all. Here I was sharing a dilapidated house with Angel, Tory, her kids, and Yvette. Angel’s oldest daughter had taken her kids right from under her. I couldn’t blame Amaya though. Angel was messed up mentally. All the money I had paid these broads and none of them had anything to show for it. I refused to remain in this position on the bottom. I had been privileged and well- bred my entire life. This shack they called home was beneath me.
“You got mail chick!” Tory stomped into the room and hurled an envelope at my face.
When I was living the lap of luxury, all three of them treated me better than they did now that I had nothing. I had to give it to Yvette though. She begged us all to stop our evil ways. What did she know? She was only an administrative assistant! Here lately she had become hostile after she had been booted from her level as close to Laini as anyone in the regular world could get. I had to admit, Yvette was the only one of us who were accepting responsibility and genuinely remorseful. I caught the envelope and read ‘Arizona State Domestic Court’. My final divorce decree. Darrell knew where I was and he still hadn’t come for me. The pain was unbearable. I threw the unopened envelope into my bag. That’s when I spotted the pain pills. I might as well kill this physical pain since I was hurting from the nappy hair on the top of my head to my dirty feet that hadn’t had a pedicure in months. Yes, twenty Lortabs should make my head stop pounding. When did Lortab’s start coming orange? I looked at the label on the bottle. That was me. It took three gulps of the flat Coke I had been drinking for two days for me to wash all the pills down. I wondered if it would stop my heart from aching too. There was only one way to find out. I needed the relief. I laid back on the couch waiting for the pain to go away.
All rights reserved. Except for use in any review, the reproduction or utilization of this work in whole or in part in any form by electronic, mechanical or other means, now or hereafter invented, including xerography, photocopying, and recording, or in any information storage or retrieval system, is forbidden without the written permission of the author.
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are either the product of the author’s imagination or are used factiously, and any resemblances to the actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events or locales is entirely coincidental.
Copyright 2013
Zi’ereBooks 2016
1
Amina looked down at the four pregnancy tests sitting on the bathroom countertop. According to the top pregnancy tests makers on the market, she was still very pregnant. One test even told her she was twelve weeks. That kind of technology had to be the devil, but it was 2013- anything was possible. She laughed thinking that the new pregnancy test just might put Maury out of business. There weren’t too many lies that could be based off a test that put it on notice how many weeks pregnant a woman really was.
Wow, girl! You gotta have more confidence this has to be it’
She couldn’t believe she was still testing positive.
Amina rubbed her nonexistent belly in anticipation and excitement. In reality she was too far gone, she was passed excited. Her husband Carlos had come from a large family and her in-laws were tapping their watches in anticipation on when she was going to get in the family way and bring another Haywood into the world. Her face and neck got hot. In a matter of minutes her composure changed. The pressure was getting to her already. She had done a lot of amazing things in her life but carrying a Haywood child for nine months would be the most important job she would ever have. No one was putting more pressure on her more than she was loading onto her own shoulders.
She began to pace the floor in the bathroom. She needed to figure out how she could get to her gynecologist for the all too important blood test she needed to have before she spilled the beans to her fiancé, Carlos. She would have to make up a small white lie, but she was not going to tell anyone anything until she had confirmation by a professional. She got dressed for work as normal. She canceled her morning appointments and her personal driver for the day. Louie didn’t want to be held up in the parking lot of a women’s doctor waiting for her. Besides Amina was beyond sure that Louie, and his wife, Bella already discussed all of her personal business between the two of them anyway. The news of a possible pregnancy couldn’t even be trusted with her housekeeper Bella at that point.
She hadn’t driven her own car in ages and it felt funny being behind the wheel. Amina’s nerves were worn thin to the bone. She was toting around the most important news a newly married woman could have and then having to keep it all a secret. Secrets were not Amina’s strong point. She needed to confide in someone soon. The sooner she had answers, the sooner she could let the cat out of the bag to her best friends at least. Amina couldn’t help but smile thinking of how her fiancé was going to react about her carrying what would be their first of many children. She squirmed in her seat to keep her female purse from lighting up in excitement again. Every time she thought about the beautiful specimen of a man she met on a whim of a casual lunch date, she was dragged to by her sister; her body reacted in lust and passion. She’d wanted him from day one.
Amina reflected back to the last year of her life as she continued on thru the city on the drive to her doctor’s office. Her twin sister Emani Barton had somehow received an invitation from Anna Haywood. If nothing else was to come out of the casual lunch meeting, at least they would have an open door to network with all of the entrepreneurs Anna had as children. Back then Anna and Greg Haywood were the parents of four of the most eligible handsome and wealthy bachelors and one diva of a bachelorette. At the time the most important network Anna needed was a love connection between the beautiful twins and any two of her four sons. As if the stars had aligned to create the perfect match, Amina was paired with Carlos Haywood. Carlos was next to the third son and was a renowned chef and restaurant franchisee. Carlos and Amina’s work ethic, laid back personalities, and their matched desire to settle down started them on the fast track to a committed relationship. Not too many moons later, both of them admitted to the other that it was love at first sight.
Cupid had shot them
both, right between the eyes. Love at first sight turned into nights of lovemaking that left them drained and still in bed together when the sun rose. The more they got of each other, it was never enough. They still wanted more and they were eager to share. It only took her tall, caramel, low faded and goatee lined perfectly, muscles on deck, always smelling good, and always willing to feed her, thoughtful, caring, the gentlemen of all men, three months to propose to her. Now here she was three months after that and two weeks away from their wedding. She would walk down the aisle holding an exquisite bouquet and possibly a love child. There were only two problems to making her dreams come true on her wedding day: her heart and the pregnancy.
2
A week later, Amina sat in the lobby of yet another gynecologist’s office.
“Amina Barton?” The nurse called from the doorway that led to the examination rooms.
This appointment would count as the second opinion everyone tells a patient they should get after they have been given a life altering diagnosis. Amina hopped out of her chair and hustled to the door held open by a petite blonde woman.
“Good morning Mrs. Barton. My name is Sara and I am Dr. Wang’s nurse. I will serve as your first contact anytime you need prescriptions refilled or to relay any questions you may have for the doctor in the future. I like to be as thorough as possible so that you don’t spend unnecessary time in the office with something I could have handled over the phone.” Sara smiled as she talked guiding Amina into an empty room.
“Wow, sounds like you guys run a tight and efficient ship around here. I like that kind of work ethic.” Amina was guided to step up on the single step that would allow her to sit on the exam table.
“Ok. You are a new patient, so I’m going to ask you some questions about the answers you checked off on the questionnaire sheet. Then I’m going to check your vitals, and get the doctor in to see you as quickly as possible.” Sara took a seat in front of the computer monitor.
The computer was sitting on a desk built into the wall. After a few mouse clicks and keystrokes, Sara got down to the business of finding out why Amina needed to see the good doctor.
“I see two areas of concern for you right now. I noticed that you checked off a lot of breathing symptoms. Have you ever been told that you had asthma in the past?” Sara looked at Amina for confirmation.
“No. I’ve always been healthy. I’ve never even had a broken bone or even the chicken pox.” Amina was trying to hide her nervousness.
“Ok, and you haven’t had a menstrual cycle in two months, is that correct?” Once again, eye contact.
“That’s right, but it’s not an uncommon event for my cycles to be irregular.” Amina looked away as she lied.
“That’s the good thing about choosing a doctor like Dr. Wang. He has an established background of an internist. Plus what he cannot diagnose he has several professionals on his staff. These are medically board certified physicians that are qualified and prepared to treat any underlying health issues his patients may have.” Sara looked at Amina and offered a comforting smile.
Sara typed notes in what was to be Amina’s electronic medical records. Amina had five tubes of blood drawn from her body. Then Sara instructed her through an asthma diagnosis test. The EKG test that was ordered and the sudden need for an ultrasound that was required to be performed upset Amina’s emotions. Amina took one look at the machines as they came and another when they went. Each test left her full of goo, leaving sticky marks on her body. Amina had a stomach full of mush on the inside. In a matter of minutes everything became too much for her to handle. Just as Sara had promised as soon as the tests were complete, Dr. Wang was standing beside Amina with his stethoscope up to her chest. He asked the same standard questions she had heard before although she answered them as if everything he said was first heard news. Midway through the dialogue, the doctor’s face changed to professional concern. Minutes later, Dr. Wang gave her the same news Dr. Jenkins had given her a week before. Amina was definitely in the early stages of heart failure. Crushing her even more he told her that the fetus inside of her did not have a heartbeat. Just like she had responded the first time, Amina began to weep uncontrollably. Dr. Wang expressed excellent bedside manner yet he consoled her as much as he could.
He conducted some on the spot research via his iPad and found Amina a cardiologist that would be equipped to treat her illness. Ironically, it was the same Dr. Frasier that had been suggested the first time by Dr. Jenkins. Amina tried to focus on the doctor’s words but she couldn’t. She declined Sara making an initial appointment for her with the cardiologist. Her perfect excuse that she needed to get with her assistant on her work schedule availability was accepted. She did agree to a set of two toxic pills that would make her pass the now dead cells in her womb within twenty-four hours, instead of having an outpatient procedure called a D&C. A procedure would mean that everyone in the family would know she had lost her first child. She decided no one, including her own mind was ready to face the worries of her heart condition. Amina had never been on front-street all alone before. Every milestone in her life was experienced in a set of two, with her twin or a set of four, with her twin best friends and her sister. She wasn’t ready for the type of exposure that would have her under a microscope yet. She would have to build up the courage to face that kind of news.
Amina would take the bad news of losing her first child with her to the grave. Failure wasn’t an option in her professional or romantic life. She felt Carlos would see her as unworthy, which is exactly what she felt in that moment. Her mind was in a fog about why God would choose her for such a big burden to bare. In all the conversations she and Carlos had that lasted from night into the wee hours of the morning, it was never brought up even in a hypothetical sense about possibly not being able to conceive. She’d led an exciting life before Carlos was even in the picture. She was beautiful. She had walked the runways in Milan, Paris, Italy, and Africa. After the modeling jobs ran far and few between, the Barton sisters started their own modeling agency. With the help of their best friends, the Barton Modeling Agency was a multi-million dollar a year corporation. Although she could never deny that Carlos brought new levels to her life, there had never been room for disappointment in either of their lives. There was no way she could sit back and watch her four sister-in-laws announce pregnancies at family dinners. She was not going to watch from the sidelines as they carried their babies and then see those beautiful babies all around her for years to come. Amina knew she was not strong enough to deal with such heartache and pain. She was convinced it would drive her crazy. Her thoughts kept going to the negatives, she wasn’t that strong of a woman to carry self- disappointment and allowing Carlos to settle for less than. All her and Carlos had talked about was having a family that was larger than the one he had growing up being amongst four other siblings.
3
Amina walked to her white on mirror tint custom made Audi R8 LMS sports car still in tears. There was a sharp pain in her heart. She felt less than a woman on so many different levels. She was beautiful, she was successful, and she was in love. She had prayed on her hands and her knees for another outcome this time. She’d begged God that Dr. Jenkins had been a quack and didn’t know what in the world he was talking about when he said her baby didn’t have a heartbeat. Both doctors had come highly recommended and it seemed as if they actually were knowledgeable. This was a second opinion explained exactly the way it had been the first time. Dr. Wang answered the only question she had the nerve to ask. She was still testing positive on pregnancy tests because her body did not recognize the embryo as being unviable yet. Pretty soon her hormone levels would drop and her body would then reject what had been her biggest moment of joy.
As she got behind the wheel she decided she would use her regular internist for the third and final opinion on the heart issue when the time came. She decided she wouldn’t make the cardiac appointment until her symptoms made it necessary. During this time, she needed to grieve
the loss of her child in secrecy. There was no way she was going to accept that she was in heart failure in her early thirties. There was nothing she could do about her first child dying in her womb. She would simply get pregnant again regardless of what she had to do. She was giving the heart diagnosis a no in her spirit. She would keep on living her life like she always had. Even though she had never told anyone she was having shortness of breath, Emani had never told her that she was having medical concerns either. They shared the same DNA. Surely if something was off with Amina, Emani would have the same issue she thought.
It was a Friday morning when Amina began to feel the effects of her body rejecting her baby. The pain awoke her out of her sleep. It was before day and way before Carlos would be up. She made it to the bathroom just in time. She sat down on the toilet and let a mass of her love and dedication for her man fall out of her body. The pain was so dull in her abdomen. She couldn’t help but scream out in pain even as she flushed the toilet. That was all it took to awaken Carlos from his sleep. No doubt he took large, quick steps to come to her aide. Minutes later she was allowing him to undress her completely. She seriously needed a shower there was so much blood. Just as the blood flowed so did her tears. Behind her tears she couldn’t even make out his face clearly. She contemplated telling him the entire truth in that moment. Just as quick as it came, the thought was kicked out of her brain seconds later.