by Rosie Hendry
Winnie didn’t know how much time had passed, it was a hazy world of pain with intermittent bursts of relief which got shorter and shorter as the agony built up.
‘The head’s there,’ the midwife said.
Winnie felt a burning pain burst between her legs.
‘Don’t push!’ the midwife instructed her. ‘You need to pant now.’
Winnie did as she was told and panted.
‘You’re nearly there,’ Frankie said. ‘You’re doing great, Winnie.’
‘That’s it,’ the midwife said. ‘On the next contraction you need to push gently.’
The next few minutes passed in a blur of pain and pushing which miraculously stopped the moment the baby slithered out of her, and a sense of euphoria flooded through her. She’d done it and the pain was gone.
‘Congratulations, you’ve had a little girl,’ the midwife said as her daughter whimpered and began to cry.
‘Oh, Winnie, that’s wonderful!’ Bella bent down and kissed her cheek. ‘You did it.’
‘Well done!’ Frankie said. ‘I knew you could do it.’
Winnie pulled a face. ‘I didn’t have much of a choice, did I? But it’s over, thank goodness.’
They watched the midwife expertly cut the cord and then wrap the baby in a clean towel before she handed Winnie’s daughter to her.
Looking down into the face of her child, tears filled Winnie’s eyes. ‘She looks like Mac, don’t you think?’ She stroked the baby’s face, which was downy soft.
‘She’s beautiful.’ Frankie sat down on the bed next to her.
‘What are you going to call her?’ Bella asked, sitting on the other side of her.
‘Daisy Constance. That’s what Mac and I want: Daisy after the beautiful little flower and Constance after Connie.’
The baby’s blue eyes were fixed on Winnie’s face and she smiled at daughter. It had only been a matter of minutes since she’d been born but already Winnie felt a fierce and protective love for her child, she would do everything she could to look after her well and bring her up knowing that she was loved and cared for by her mother.
‘Feeling better now?’ the midwife asked.
Winnie nodded. ‘Yes, much.’
When she looked down again, her daughter had drifted off to sleep, the weight of her in her arms feeling the most natural thing in the world. ‘It was worth it in the end.’
Chapter 71
As the bus came to a stop outside the row of village shops, Frankie looked out of the window expecting to see her mother waiting there to meet her but, to her surprise, it was her sister, Lizzie. The last time she’d seen her had been in the hospital last autumn after her backstreet abortion had gone badly wrong, and she had heard nothing from her since. So why was she here now? Grabbing her suitcase, Frankie mentally braced herself as she got off the bus, expecting Lizzie to be her usual prickly and unwelcoming self.
‘Hello.’ Lizzie held out her hand to take Frankie’s case.
‘Hello, Lizzie. It’s all right, I can manage, thank you. I wasn’t expecting you to come and meet me.’
‘I asked Mother if she’d mind if I did.’ Lizzie’s cheeks flushed, and she looked around at locals who’d got off the bus and now stood chatting outside the shop and within earshot of them. ‘Let’s go.’
Frankie nodded and they fell into step heading away from the shop and the chance of being overheard. ‘I didn’t know you’d be ’ere. Have you been demobbed?’
‘No, and I’m not going to be. I’m going to stay on in the WAAF, I like it.’ Lizzie looked around her, checking no one was close by. ‘I wanted the chance to talk to you about what happened, and to thank you for what you did. I probably wouldn’t be here now if you hadn’t helped me.’ She sighed. ‘I didn’t deserve your help after the way I treated you.’
Frankie stopped walking and put a hand on Lizzie’s arm, making her halt. ‘Did you expect me to ignore you? I’d never ’ave done that.’
‘You’re a better person than me, and I need to say sorry for being such a cow to you. I was jealous. Plain and simple jealous, I hated the idea of Mother having another daughter older than me . . . and the way Eve took to you . . . it made my blood boil.’ Lizzie looked down at the ground for a moment before looking up and meeting Frankie’s eyes. ‘I’m not like that any more, I promise.’
‘Well there ain’t no denying that you were an unwelcoming cow, as you put it, but the past is the past and I hope we can move on from that. You had nothin’ to be jealous of, in fact, you were the lucky one because you grew up with our mother, I didn’t. I was told she’d died and I missed out on ’aving her in my life all those years.’
Lizzie nodded. ‘Thank you. It must have been a shock to find out she was still alive?’
‘It was, and I was very angry about being lied to for so long and her leaving me, making me grow up thinkin’ I was an orphan. I know she had her reasons, thought it was for the best, but she regrets it now.’ Frankie shrugged. ‘But I’m glad I’ve ’ad the chance to find her again.’ They started walking again, leaving the village behind them, and heading out to the farm.
‘They don’t know the truth about what happened to me,’ Lizzie blurted out. ‘I told them I had a fall and it caused damage, so I had to have the hysterectomy. I don’t want them to know about what I did. You won’t tell them, will you? Please don’t, they’d be so angry and never forgive me.’
Frankie slipped her arm through her sister’s. ‘It’s not my story to tell. I promise I won’t ever say a word about it.’
‘Thank you.’ Lizzie’s voice wavered. ‘I still feel bad about it and I always will, but I can’t turn the clock back. At least if I stay in the WAAF I can have a job I enjoy, it keeps me busy.’
‘I think you’re doing the right thing. After serving in the war, it’s hard to go back to normal life and the jobs we had before. I’ve got plans myself.’
‘What are you going to do?’ Lizzie asked.
But before Frankie could answer, a shout of delight reached them as their sister, Eve, came zooming around the corner on her bicycle and called out at the sight of them, waving madly.
‘I couldn’t wait any longer!’ Eve said breathlessly as she brought her bicycle to a halt beside them and leapt off, wrapping her arms around Frankie and squeezing her tight. ‘It’s so good to see you. I couldn’t believe it when Mother said Lizzie wanted to come and meet you. I thought you might need rescuing.’ She frowned. ‘Is everything all right?’
Frankie and Lizzie looked at each other, nodded and smiled.
‘Yes, everything’s just fine,’ Frankie said.
It was a beautiful evening, a blue sky gently streaked with fine threads of cloud arching overhead. The sweet smell of drying hay filled the air as swallows darted to and fro, hawking for insects as Frankie and her mother walked around the edge of the field. Frankie would be returning to London in the morning, her few days staying with her Suffolk family having passed all too quickly.
‘I’m glad you came to stay,’ her mother said, linking her arm through Frankie’s. ‘You’re always welcome here any time, you know that, don’t you?’
‘Thank you, I’ve enjoyed being ’ere and even helping with the haymaking.’ She held up her hands which had a few blisters on them from handling her pitchfork to turn the hay over so that it dried evenly in its rows across the field. ‘There ain’t a lot of haymaking going on in Stepney, it was a whole new experience for me.’
‘You did a good job. Are you looking forward to joining UNRRA next week?’
‘Yes, it’ll be a month before they send me out to Germany, though. There’s the training to do first, lectures and practical exercises.’
‘Are you sure about wanting to go?’ her mother asked. ‘It’s not going to be easy.’
Frankie stopped and looked across the field where some rabbits were out around the edges, their powder-puff white tails bobbing as they hopped around.
‘I know it will be hard, but those people need hel
p and I need to do something more than working back at the clothes factory till Alastair comes home.’ She smiled at her mother. ‘Helping them will help me as well. I’m not quite sure yet what I’ll be doing, they know I was an ambulance driver, but whether they will get me to drive or not I’m not sure. Whatever I’m asked, I intend to do it well.’
‘I’m sure you will. And I understand about wanting to do something more, you’ve had years of doing an important job so to go back to where you were before would be hard. You and Lizzie have been changed by the war and your lives are taking a different path to what they would have done if it had never happened.’ She sighed. ‘After the Great War, women had to return to their normal lives after doing so much for the war effort and so many of them found it hard.’
Frankie looked at her mother. ‘Did you?’
‘Yes, sometimes. Working as a VAD, then going out to France, was a world away from the place and life I’d grown up with, but then I met your father and had you and, well, you know the rest of the story. I’ve never forgotten that feeling of having a job that stretched and pushed me out of all I was familiar with and took me to places I’ve never thought I’d ever go . . . ’ She paused for a moment. ‘But I am happy with what I have here, although a little part of me wonders what I would be doing now if I hadn’t come back. So now young women, like you and Lizzie . . . I understand your need to go on doing more. You proved that you can, that you are more than capable and should go on rather than back to the life you had before.’
‘Thank you, I’m glad you understand, though not everyone does – lots of people think women should go back to running a home like they did before. Especially some men.’
‘What does Alastair think?’
‘That it’s a good idea to join UNRRA. He’s going to do the same when he’s demobbed, they need doctors as well.’
‘I’m very proud of you, you know.’ Her mother put her hand on Frankie’s arm. ‘And your father would have been too.’
Chapter 72
Winnie gently tucked the blanket around Daisy who had dropped off at the end of her feed with her tummy satisfyingly full, and stood back and admired her little daughter. Ever since she’d been born nearly four weeks ago, Winnie couldn’t get enough of her, spending hours just looking at her, loving her rosebud mouth that sucked in her sleep, her soft downy skin and silky hair, marvelling that she and Mac had brought her into the world. Winnie completely adored her. Trixie clearly thought along the same lines too; she was utterly devoted to the baby, and now lay, as she always did, beside Daisy’s cot as she slept.
A yawn crept up on Winnie and with it a longing for some much-needed sleep of her own. The lack of sleep was the one thing she found hard, though she should be used to it after working shifts at Station 75, especially during those terrible days when the Blitz was at its peak and getting enough rest was impossible. She glanced at the clock on the chest of drawers. It was a little after six o’clock in the morning and, since she’d been up two other times in the night feeding Daisy, Winnie decided to climb back in bed and get what sleep she could before her daughter woke up again.
The sound of Daisy stirring filtered down into Winnie’s dream, pulling her out of her sleep. She took a few moments to gather herself before she opened her eyes, aware that Daisy would get louder and more insistent very quickly if she was hungry again, filling her lungs and making a lot of noise for someone so small. But Daisy didn’t get louder. Instantly alert, Winnie sat up and gasped at the sight of her daughter being gently cradled in the arms of Mac.
‘Good morning, sleeping beauty.’ Mac carried Daisy over to the bed and sat down on the edge of it, leaning over to kiss her.
‘How? I mean, when?’ Winnie said, her head still fuzzy with sleep and the shock of seeing Mac here.
‘I arrived about half an hour ago and came in here to find you both fast asleep. I didn’t want to wake you, so I’ve been sitting there,’ he nodded towards the chair by Daisy’s cot where Winnie always sat to feed her. ‘She’s beautiful, Winnie, just like her mother.’ He smiled at her, his eyes bright with tears. ‘I can hardly believe we’ve got a daughter.’ He stroked the baby’s cheek with one finger, the little girl looking up at him with her wide blue eyes.
‘She’s real enough and just wait until you hear her yell.’
Mac laughed. ‘Likes to make herself heard does she? Just like you! I’m going to have to stand up for myself with two like you in my family.’
‘I’m sure you’ll manage very well.’ Winnie laid her head on his shoulder and the pair of them sat watching their daughter together, with Trixie lying close by. It felt as if they were in a perfect bubble of happiness.
‘I couldn’t wait to come home and see her after I got your letter to say she’d been born. Even before she was born, knowing we were having a child . . . I kept thinking about it, wondering what it was, imagining all the things we could do as he or she got older. It made me really happy to know we were having a baby.’
‘I’m sorry I didn’t tell you straight away when I found out I was expecting,’ Winnie said. ‘I thought it was the best thing to do for you and for me.’
Mac moved slightly so that their eyes met. ‘I was cross you didn’t – you should have. I had every right to know.’ He sighed. ‘But knowing and loving you, Winnie . . . I soon got over it. You had your reasons and there was nothing I could have done to help you from where I was.’ He smiled at her. ‘I was thrilled to know we were going to have a child together. It was the best news . . . when it finally came!’
‘It’s going to be wonderful watching her grow up together.’ Winnie snuggled against him again. ‘We can start to make plans, you can apply for teaching jobs . . . ’
Mac took hold of her hand. ‘I’m not back for good yet, Winnie. I only have a seventy-two-hour pass. We’re going for more training to be deployed again.’
‘Where? The war’s o—’ She stopped, looking at him. The war wasn’t completely over, there was still fighting in the Far East. ‘Are they sending you out to pick up soldiers injured by the Japanese now?’
He nodded. ‘It looks like it, but we need training for jungle conditions.’
She put her hand over her mouth, fighting back tears. ‘Haven’t you done enough?’
‘I don’t want to go, Winnie, especially now with Daisy here, but I have to. It won’t be straight away because of the training, we’ll need to be ready, and then it’ll take a while to get there.’ He gently touched her cheek. ‘I know it’s not what you wanted to hear, but let’s not allow it to spoil the time we have got. I’ve got two nights here with you both and for that I am grateful. I get to be with my wife and to meet my daughter, what more could a fellow want, eh?’
Chapter 73
Bella stared at her reflection in the dressing table mirror. She couldn’t quite believe it was her, dressed in Station Officer Steele’s wedding dress, her hair and make-up done. She was ready to go and marry Stefan.
‘Is anything wrong?’ Frankie asked, standing beside her, their eyes meeting in their reflections.
She shook her head and smiled at her friend. ‘No, I’m just not used to seeing myself dressed up like this and . . . And I can’t quite believe I’m getting married in half an hour.’
‘You’re not having second thoughts, are you?’ Winnie asked from where she sat on the other side of the room, discreetly feeding baby Daisy.
Bella turned around. ‘Not at all, I’m nervous . . . excited!’
‘I was nervous too, couldn’t believe how anxious it made me feel,’ Winnie said.
‘What!’ Frankie said. ‘That ain’t like you, Winnie.’
Winnie laughed. ‘I know, but Trixie sorted me out, didn’t you, Trix?’ She leaned down and patted the head of the little dog, who sat by her feet. ‘I cuddled her for a bit and it made me feel a lot better. You could do that as well, Bella. A cuddle from Trixie works wonders.’
‘You’d better not, we’ll end up with golden hairs on your dress,’ Franki
e said. ‘I’ll give you a hug instead.’ She put her arms around Bella and gently hugged her, taking care with the lace wedding dress.
Bella hugged her back, glad that her dearest friends were here with her.
Frankie stepped back, putting her hands on Bella’s shoulders. ‘Better?’
She nodded. ‘Everything’s changing, it takes some getting used to after us all being together for so long. I’m excited about being married to Stefan, but sad that my life working at Station 75 with you two is over. Winnie’s got baby Daisy and you’re off with UNRRA soon.’
Frankie’s blue eyes met hers. ‘Nothing stays the same for ever, Bella. Time moves on and we have to as well. What we had at Station 75 will never leave us, we’ll always have each other, that’s right, ain’t it, Winnie?’
‘Absolutely.’ Winnie stood up, putting Daisy over her shoulder, and came over to them. ‘This is just another chapter in our stories, and you know all about stories, Bella, ours will still be woven in together as much as we can make them. We may not work together and see each other every day any more, but we will always keep in touch and meet up as often as we can.’
Bella nodded, not daring to speak for fear that she might cry and make the precious mascara that Winnie had so painstakingly applied run down her cheeks.
Frankie put her arms around both of them and hugged them to her, taking care not to squash baby Daisy, who had fallen asleep on her mother’s shoulder oblivious to everything apart from her milky dreams.
The bedroom door opened and Rose came in, dressed in her pre-war silk bridesmaid dress – the same one she’d worn for Frankie’s wedding.
‘Your mother’s just arrived, Bella. She . . . ’ She frowned at the sight of them. ‘Is everything all right?’