Behind Her Smile

by Luck, Olivia

  I push my sunglasses onto my forehead in hopes that it will encourage Alec to take off his own mask. The maddening man doesn’t take my hint though he gives me one of his little smirks that tells me he is on to me.

  “Will you show me what you’ve been working on? I’d love to see.”

  I bite back an incredulous response. “Maybe someday. Most of my work is unfinished.”

  Alec moves closer. Close enough that I can inhale the spicy scent of his aftershave discreetly. The nearness of him alone makes me come alive. My head buzzes, and I start to feel lightheaded—but not in an unpleasant way.

  “Promise me something, Karolina.”

  “What?” I whisper.

  “Don’t give up on your passion. You are an artist. I’ve seen what you can do when you let your talent run wild. It would be a damn shame for your work to go unrecognized.”

  “I have no intention of giving it up,” I say haughtily and scoot away from Alec. My standoffishness does not deter him. He simply grabs the seat of my chair and yanks it until not even an inch separates us.

  “Is it business connections you need? I’d be happy to help you find the buyers, suppliers, labor . . . whatever you need.”

  My breath catches in my throat. Not even my husband has made this offer. In fact, David discouraged me from putting too much time into my fashion.

  Taking it upon myself to reveal Alec, I carefully remove his sunglasses and place them to the side. His onyx eyes are no hope—endless pools of darkness. “Tell me why you care this much.”

  “I don’t like to see beautiful things destroyed.”

  “You said that on my wedding day, Alec, and I’m still here, not destroyed in the least.”

  Liar.

  Alec doesn’t say it, but I see the rebuke spelled plainly over his features.

  “When I look at you, I see an endless fountain of potential. You have so much to offer . . .” Alec trails off, leaving me hanging on his words, aching for him to say more. “There are many years ahead of you to realize that potential.”

  I don’t know who I’m supposed to be. What I know for sure is that I’m not a Mrs. Morgan type, an empress to run a financial empire next to her husband. And I’m not sure I’m supposed to be a fashion mogul anymore either.

  Peter breaks the tense conversation when he appears with our drinks.

  “There’s something about being on the ocean that is freeing.” I look out to the horizon, hoping to find a reprieve from my disturbing thoughts.

  “Breathtaking,” Alec murmurs. I don’t need to look directly at him to know Alec is watching me and not the smooth waters. Despite the forbidden indulgence, I can’t help but be flattered by his appreciation.

  When lunch arrives, neither of us shifts our chair away from the other.

  “Tell me something about you that no one knows,” I request.

  One of his dark eyebrows rises and he surveys me while chewing a bite of hamburger. “How about something that not many people know? Adriana and Hector Martinez have two children, Valencia and Manuel. To those two, I’m their Uncle Alec, and when they need a babysitter, Adriana calls me.”

  “You like kids?” I ask in genuine surprise.

  Alec smiles wryly. “Valencia and Manuel have wormed their way into my heart. They’re honest and challenging. Such sweet kids. I’m sure Adriana has already talked your ear off about them.”

  “Yes, it’s obvious she loves them wildly.” I can’t keep the note of envy from my voice. “She’s a wonderful mother.”

  “I’ll deny this if you ever tell anyone, but being around their children makes me want a brood of my own. Only child syndrome, I suppose.” Another piece of Alec’s armor falls away revealing the man beneath.

  “You’d make a great dad, Alec. Protective and nurturing.”

  A rare hint of vulnerability flashes his eyes. “Thank you, Karolina. Coming from you that’s a high compliment.” We share a smile then, both raw signs of affection. With Alec, I can be my authentic, work-in-progress self. And, in return, he’s showing me his unfiltered side. The more he shares with me, the more I find myself wanting to spend time in his presence.

  Hours later when we arrive back at the dock, Alec decides to drive me back to Coral Gables instead of sending me with a driver. It’s a quiet ride to the house, neither one of us much for talking after hours of nonstop conversation aboard Dýnami. It was as if I wanted him to know everything about me—from the silly jobs I worked throughout high school to the design projects I made while I was in school. In turn, he told me about his travels all over the world. Admittedly, I did most of the talking, but never once did Alec look bored or uninterested.

  A strange sensation washes over me, and it takes me a bit to recognize it: I’m relaxed. Normally, there’s a ball of tension needling into my spine, as I’m constantly afraid of making the wrong move. Today, I was just me, Karolina, and Alec had no qualms about the woman I am.

  The car glides to a stop at the end of the stone driveway. Alec puts the car into park. It hums idly as he stretches one hand along the length the steering wheel and then turns his torso to face me.

  “If you decide you want help with your fashion, come to me. Please, Karolina. I want to be of assistance to you.” I turn away, staring at the house. My studio faces the front, and I can see its window on the far side of the second story.

  “Not yet, Alec. But when I’m ready . . . I’ll find you.” Turning back, I give him one last fleeting look. “Thank you for a lovely day. It’s the best I’ve had in a long time.”

  Does he hear what I am really saying beneath the surface? One day, if I gather the courage to leave David, I will go to him. I just hope that he is there because, if I ever decide to leave, it will be the toughest battle of my life.

  Alec

  The car door shuts behind Karolina and all the emotion building in my chest nearly brings me to punch the steering wheel. What the fuck am I doing? Chasing after this woman who has all but erected a flashing ‘Off-Limits’ sign.

  Admittedly, my intentions toward her weren’t always pure. But now I find myself helpless to fight against her relentless pull. Of course, Karolina doesn’t see the full depth of my attraction to her. Hell, I don’t understand it myself.

  Shifting the car into gear, I vacate the driveway. The last thing I need is video footage showing me parked in front David Morgan’s house, pining after his wife. God, he would love it. The bastard knows just how lucky he is to have her.

  Bile sours my stomach. I’m physically ill thinking that.

  My warped relationship with David Morgan started when our professional paths crossed years ago. David was trying to prove his worth to the family business by landing lucrative clients. We met at Hotel Monroe, both interested in Ira Gold. David wanted to manage his personal portfolio, and I wanted to purchase real estate from Gold. David and I could have worked together to convince Gold to work with us, but something about the look of David Morgan instantly rose my competitive instincts. I messed with him every chance I got; I played games with him because I wanted to take the smarmy prick down a notch or two. We were in a perpetual battle to be the best, the most successful, and both of us were too stubborn to give up on our war. Keep your friends close and your enemies closer, right?

  Hubris was my downfall. From a business perspective, David could never have surpassed my success, but personally, he won. Karolina. Sweet, generous, giving Karolina was his because I let him have her. She was supposed to be mine from the beginning. I won the damned bet and should have pursued her, but arrogance won out. I thought I didn’t need attachments, least of all a woman, in my life so I gave her away to David as if she meant nothing to me.

  Then I got to know her. At the Morgan funeral, she was unrelenting in her support of David. I watched her treat him lovingly even though I was sure the bastard didn’t deserve her devotion. I had to know more about her—where did she come from, what was she doing in Miami? To my surprise, we had similar histories. I felt a kinsh
ip to her because, like me, she fought her way through poverty and neglect. It made me sick that David had landed such a good woman. David invited me to be the witness at that pathetic excuse of a wedding to gloat, and I wanted to get him back, so I snuck into the bathroom to talk to Karolina . . . In an instant, everything changed. She was challenging and smart and gorgeous.

  But she chose him.

  This man is inferior to me in every possible way. The business he inherited in the unfortunate death of his father is tenuous at best. In a city full of phonies and wannabes, David Morgan stands out above the rest as desperate to maintain a certain pedigree, even if under false pretenses, whereas Karolina is authentic and genuine. What could she possibly see in him? He clearly stifles her. She practically balked in shock when I asked her what she wanted to eat. It’s as if he controls every aspect of her life.

  A controlling asshole and a broken wrist make one hell of a nasty equation.

  God. Thoughts like that make me almost as paranoid as David Morgan. I’ve seen the way he dotes on Karolina. It would be easy to believe the absolute worst of Morgan, but he doesn’t have the balls to hurt Karolina. He places her on a pedestal; he shows her off to every person who comes his way. He calls her his jewel, for chrissakes, as if she’s an object. A precious one, but an object nonetheless.

  With an angry grunt, I stop the car next to the security hut. Unknowingly, I’ve driven myself to Hector Martinez’s home on Star Island. He and his wife, Adriana, are the closest friends I have, and I don’t feel like sitting alone tonight, stewing in my own misery.

  As idiotic as it may be, I can’t stop myself from spending time with Karolina. Pathetically, I’ll take whatever piece of her I can. Biding my time until David fucks up enough that she leaves him. It will happen, and I’ll be damned if I miss my chance with her a second time.

  “We should have a baby.”

  David’s declaration nearly makes me choke on my orange juice. We are in Charleston, South Carolina sitting on a veranda overlooking an impeccably groomed grassy knoll behind the hotel where we are vacationing. Technically, it’s not so much of a vacation as David has spent most of his time courting a potential client and I have drifted around the city alone. I close the cover on my iPad to give me another moment to gather my thoughts.

  A child? David and I never spoke about growing our family. I have only just turned twenty-five. In many ways, I don’t think of myself as an adult. I hardly know what I’m doing with my life; how could I mold a young mind when I’m still figuring this out for myself?

  “You want to have a baby?” I repeat, still in shock.

  “We have been married for two years, Karolina. It’s about time to add another member to our family. Don’t you think the house is too quiet as it is?” If any one of the expensive hotel’s other patrons were to overhear our conversation, they would think that David is just the doting husband—but I sense there is more to this than just a desire to add more noise to our life. David’s intentions frighten me. The expectations he has for a wife are impossible to achieve, I can’t imagine what he would demand of his child.

  “I hadn’t given much thought to expanding our family,” I say mildly. “To be honest, I’m a little surprised. You sound so sure of yourself.”

  “I am sure. I want a son, Karolina.”

  “Well, you don’t exactly have much of a choice.” I try to joke, but David frowns in response.

  “Are you going to deny me?” His voice is deceptively soft. His eyes narrow, letting me know this is a delicate subject.

  My instant reaction to his demand for a child is hell no. This is no marriage in which to bring a child. But I have to choose my words carefully, so as to not upset my husband. “No, David, of course not. I want to have children. But is now the right time? We’re still newlyweds and I’m a minute into my mid-twenties. I don’t know that I’d make a good mother at this point in my life.” I try to make my case gently, without provoking any further anger from David. In a public place, he won’t get too vicious, but that doesn’t mean I won’t feel his wrath behind closed doors.

  David waves a hand dismissively. “Miranda will be there with for whatever you need. We’ll hire a nanny if necessary.”

  “Well . . .” When David realizes he has me—again—exactly where he wants me, a boyish light illuminates his face. He genuinely wants this. I’m flabbergasted, and dare I say, a tiny part of me wonders what it would be like to become a mother.

  The broken wrist incident ended up being a turning point in our relationship. When David returned from his trip overseas, he was noticeably less tense. Apparently, he signed two new clients while there, and he was pleased with himself. As a result, our home life has run significantly smoother. All the rules and regulations are still in place, but David has been more lax about correcting my mistakes with physical punishment.

  Until this subject, David and I have disagreed upon very little. That’s why I am more willing to allow him to persuade me this morning. When David looks at me this way, lit up with pleasure, it’s even more difficult than usual for me to deny him.

  “When we get home, I can call my gynecologist.” I relent against the doubts. A man this thrilled must desperately want a child.

  Didn’t that same line of thinking end with you marrying him? But he’s changing. At his core, David Morgan is a good man. I know it. Sounds like battered wife syndrome, a dark voice whispers.

  No. That is not me.

  David pats my hand in a way that’s almost patronizing, but I brush away the feeling. “Wonderful. I knew you would come around.” David pushes back his jacket sleeve to glance at his watch. “Right. I have meetings and then a lunch this afternoon. We’ll meet after that and do whatever you like. Maybe some shopping?” David winks. Then he is gone with only a chaste kiss on my cheek.

  Most of the time, I walk on eggshells to avoid a dangerous misstep. What if our child upset David? Though my father never hurt me, I did know what it was like to grow up in the home of a dark man. It still pains me to think about my father, mother, and sister—heck, my entire life in Central Florida. The difference, though, is that my father wasn’t interested in being a dad. Even when times were good, he wasn’t the type of dad to take me to ride a bike or to the local ice-cream shop. David, on the other hand, genuinely wants a child. I saw the sincere desire in him. Plus, money would never be a problem. I won’t have to worry about David turning to drinking because we can barely keep a roof over our heads.

  And, if I’m being honest with myself, the house would be far less quiet with a tiny little baby gurgling and giggling. A baby is one step closer to the house full of love and laughter that I realized I wanted all along. Maybe a baby would mellow David out.

  Babies don’t solve martial problems—they are simply a distraction. I don’t know where the voice comes from, but I swat it away. In my mind, a baby would bring us closer together than ever and maybe give some purpose to my life.

  A ringing cell phone pierces through my thoughts. I pull the offending device from my purse and find an unlisted caller on the screen. That can only mean one thing.

  “Hi.”

  “Hello, Karolina,” Alec says.

  Since that day on his yacht, Alec and I have waded through a somewhat unconventional friendship. Mostly, we talk on the phone when he finds himself free. Sometimes, when David travels, we meet for lunch. The interactions are sporadic, and thus, in my mind, are safer. Whenever we do meet, it's in places away from leering eyes, like a private terrace for lunch, again in my own backyard. Somehow, David hasn’t found out about our friendship. Alec is someone to talk to, even if we no longer touch on the topic of my marriage or the women he dates. Mostly, I tell him about my designs, and he talks about work and travel.

  “South Carolina sticky this time of year?” he asks dryly.

  Gone are the days of my wonderment of Alec’s knowledge of, seemingly, everything. The man says he’s made a business of possessing knowledge, and I can attest to this by all
of the things he knows.

  “Sort of. Are you in Miami?”

  “London. Have you ever been here?”

  “You know I haven’t.”

  “One day, you need to get here. Imagine all the inspiration . . .” Alec trails off, waiting for me to refute him. There’s something much weightier on my mind.

  The intensity of my conversation with David makes me suddenly serious. “I’m trying to figure out my life, Alec. It’s not as easy as you make it sound. You knew what you wanted to do, and I’m still floundering. Fashion can’t be the only thing in my life.”

  “It wasn’t until Hector Martinez took me under his wing that I focused on real estate,” Alec tells me. “You don’t have to have all the answers, Karolina.”

  “Trust me, I don’t have any answers.” I scoff.

  All the way from London, I hear Alec chuckle. “Design can be one aspect of Karolina. There are other parts to you—the woman who raises money for disadvantaged youth and calls me on my pretentious bullshit.”

  It’s glaringly obvious that he doesn’t mention my duties as a wife. Insecurity makes me waffle. “Do you think I would be a good mother?” I blurt, needing reassurance from the man whose opinion matters to me.

  I sense Alec’s tension on the other end of the line because he’s silent. It’s not one of those pleasant, soothing silences we’ve shared before.

  “I think you would make a tremendous mother,” Alec finally says after a few more beats. “A child would be all the better for having you as his or her parent. You genuinely listen and you care. My God, do you care, about everyone, even if he or she don’t deserve your unfailing kindness. Is there—” Alec clears his throat roughly as if he’s full of anguish “–are you trying to tell me something?”

  “No. I’m not pregnant.” I force a laugh, trying to bring some levity. “You’re the only person I can ask these questions. And, um, I wanted to know what you thought. There aren’t many people whose opinions I trust.”

  All of a sudden, Alec’s voice is rock hard. Anger filters through the phone lines even though he is thousands of miles away. “Right. You have my opinion on the matter. Excuse me, Karolina, but something needs my immediate attention. Enjoy Charleston.” The phone disconnects with an abrupt click.