by Riley Storm
Maybe I can push him into action. Tell him that he needs to go and do this.
She was well aware of the arrogance of that thought, that perhaps she could convince him to do something that three of his wolf shifter friends couldn’t, but he couldn’t stop now. After rescuing Lorik and Lana, he had the numbers he’d wanted to go after his other friends.
Alison was aware that it ate at him, knowing he was free and they weren’t, but there wasn’t much she could do to fix that. Except perhaps encourage him that this was the right thing to do, that he should be going after his friends. Especially, and this was an even more self-centered thought, especially if he was growing hesitant because of what had happened between them.
Pulling open the door, she walked out into the tiny living room. It was cramped with the four big shifters.
“What’s going on?” she asked casually, smiling at the rest of the room in greeting.
To her surprise, most of the room shifted uncomfortably. Chief smiled at her, but it was tight, forced. Both Lana and Lorik couldn’t even bring themselves to do that much, unable to meet her gaze.
“Did I interrupt?” she added lamely, suddenly feeling awkward and shy at the unexpected treatment.
“No,” Chief said, his smile twisting into something that might be an attempt to soothe her and apologize.
But why does he feel the need to apologize to me? He hasn’t done anything.
“Lucien?” she asked. “What’s going on?”
Broad shoulders rose and fell, stretching the plain gray t-shirt nearly to the breaking point before he exhaled. “Give us a minute.”
Her eyebrows went up a fraction of an inch. Despite only having to turn his head slightly, Lucien had so far refused to look over at her. Something was wrong here. Alison had misjudged the situation, and perhaps badly.
The others got up and filed out without a word, taking the back door, avoiding the street, just in case people were looking for them. They stood about still in sight, huddled under the overhang to avoid the rain. In moments, it was just her, and Lucien, who was still looking down at the floor.
“Lucien, what’s wrong?” she pressed, fighting the urge to go to his side. “Why are you acting so weird? You’re starting to scare me.”
Truthfully, she was more confused than anything, but there most definitely was a sliver of fear pressing against her stomach, ready to jab itself home. Until there was a definite reason to let it, however, she fought off the urge to panic.
“There’s no need to be scared,” he rumbled, at last looking up, his blue eyes bouncing around slightly before settling on her, where, like always, they seemed to brighten ever so slightly.
“Okay, that’s good,” she said, sinking into the couch, facing him where he sat on a chair from the nearby kitchen. “But what’s with the sit-in here. Why can’t the others stay?”
Lucien chewed on his lower lip. “How much did you overhear?”
Shrugging she thought back. “Not much. They want to do something, you seem to be unwilling to do it, for some reason. I wanted to come out here and tell you that you shouldn’t be. If they think it’s the right path, if there’s no other choice, then you need to do it. I…” she stopped, feeling sheepish at her self-centered assumption regarding his refusal to follow the other’s plan.
“What?” he pressed.
“This is silly,” she said as a preamble. “But I was going to say, if you’re not willing to do it because of something to do with me. Because of us, whatever this is,” she added, pointing back and forth between them. “I want you to know I think you should do it. You can’t not rescue your friends because you’re scared for me.”
Lucien was just staring at her. “You say that, but you don’t understand, Alison.”
She squared her shoulders. “Then don’t you think it’s about time you did tell me?”
26
Lucien cringed internally at her words.
He was trapped. There was no real way he could escape telling her now. Which was precisely what he’d wanted to avoid doing, until he had another plan—one that didn’t involve this. Not to mention, one that he wouldn’t spring on her the day after revealing that he was a wolf shifter. That was what they should be focusing on today.
Alison had accepted that far too easily for his comfort. Lucien knew she had to be harboring serious doubts, and he wanted to help her reconcile the truth with her changing worldview, so she didn’t have some sort of breakdown or denial at the worst possible time if things did get worse. Now he was being robbed of that, and was fearful that his mate would take on too much, too soon, until she couldn’t handle it anymore and snapped, or ran away, or did something even worse. Like tell someone.
“I’ll be blunt,” he said, deciding that was probably the best tactic. “I’m worried that, on top of what you learned yesterday, this is too much for you to handle.”
Alison looked at him calmly. “I understand.”
“You do?” he asked, trying not to sag in relief.
“Of course.” She smiled gently. “You just revealed a big secret to me yesterday. That you’re a wolf shifter. All of you. That you even exist is a big shock, and one that I am absolutely still grappling with.” She shrugged, her smile widening as his look of disbelief grew. “I’m not going to accept that in a day, Lucien. But you trusted me with it, and I saw first-hand evidence. It’s tough to be a denier in the face of that.”
“Okay,” he said, daring to exhale just a little. “I’m glad you understand.”
“I understand your worries,” she said, her smile growing tight. “Which is why I can tell you that you’re wrong. I can handle it.” Her eyes grew distant. “There’s something about all this that feels right.”
He glanced at her quizzically, waiting for a more in-depth explanation, but soon it became apparent one was not forthcoming. Whatever it was she was talking about, this was a topic Alison wasn’t quite ready to give words to yet. Which meant she expected him to do the talking.
“Tell me everything, Lucien.” It wasn’t a request, nor was it a command. Somewhere in between the two.
And he couldn’t refuse.
“I think there’s going to be a fight,” he said heavily. “Between those who support my view of things. And those on the other side.”
“You mean like, where one side might stab and cut up another and leave him for dead while he wanders across town and falls down at the door of some woman to die? That kind of fight?”
Lucien shook his head, recognizing her attempt at humor to lighten the situation. “Worse,” he said heavily. “Much worse.”
Alison’s face grew tight. “Oh.”
“If we’re going to have a chance at winning,” he said, giving voice to thoughts he’d mostly tried to keep repressed, “Then we’re going to need leadership. Someone to command the entire thing. To organize us.”
“You.”
He smiled, appreciative of her support. “No, not me. I’m not a leader.”
Alison looked over at the back door where the other three still milled about outside, waiting for them to be done. “I think they would argue differently,” she suggested.
“Maybe. But I’m a relative nobody, Alison. As humbling as that is to admit. We need someone who can be a rallying cry. A beacon that others will come to. That man is Logan. I can lead squads, I suppose. But he can lead an army. He has the experience at it, among other things. But he’s high profile in our world, and his presence will bring others, those who are too nervous or scared to do so otherwise.”
“Logan,” Alison said. “This is Logan, the name you were mumbling when you showed up at my place. This is him?”
“Yes. He’s the one trapped. The one I need to rescue.” The one I left behind. “He’s the one who can make the hard decisions. The ones that might get people killed.”
Alison’s head tilted as she stared at him, and Logan got the distinct impression she was seeing deeper into him than he was perhaps comfortable with.
“Is that why you left the men in my house alive?” she asked quietly.
Lucien sagged forward. “What else would you have me do?” he asked hoarsely. “They’re my family. How am I supposed to kill them, while still being able to look at myself in the mirror and proclaim that I’m doing the “right thing” fighting them? What sort of person would that make me? Besides a liar,” he added bitterly. “No, this is why we need Logan.”
“I believe in you,” Alison said into the silence that followed, reaching out to rest a hand on his.
Despite it all, he shuddered at her touch, knowing what he knew. Her faith in him was misplaced.
“You have strength you don’t know you possess inside you,” she continued. “Strength to do what you believe is right. I can see that, even if you can’t, Lucien. You’re too harsh on yourself.”
He shrugged. “You’re assuming what we’re doing is right. I…God, I can’t believe some of the things I’ve done. I dragged you into all this! How is that right?”
“Why wouldn’t what you’re doing be right?” she asked.
“Our world, the shifter world,” he said, giving her some background. “We still have a monarchy. We’re ruled by a king. A king that I and others are defying. How is it right to defy your legitimate ruler?”
Alison frowned, rubbing one finger idly across the back of his hand. “Why are you defying him?”
“Because he’s gotten it into his mind that House Canis, the house of wolves, deserve to rule over the entire paranormal world. That we should be the only shifters. He wants to be a tyrant, hungry for more power.”
“Oh,” Alison said in a tiny voice. “Is that it?”
“I doubt it. I let slip with you before, but he wants to extend his power into the human world as well. First he wants to take out the other shifters. Then your government. A covert war with humans would be doom for us. We survive by remaining unseen.”
Alison was staring at him wide-eyed now. “I seeee. How do they not know about you?”
Lucien shrugged. “Certain highly-placed operatives in a number of government agencies may or may not actually be shifters. They suppress any mention, though we try to be careful. That is why the seats of power for shifters are here, in Plymouth Falls. A nowhere, essentially, instead of somewhere like Washington, New York, London, etc. Sure, we have outposts there, but this is our headquarters. Our home.”
He watched Alison’s face as he explained it all, noting again with fascination how she seemed to suck down all the information he could handle and process it in a way that, really, shouldn’t be possible. How was it she was so accepting of such world-changing information? What was he missing?
“You’re going to tell me a lot more about that,” Alison said at last. “But not now, I don’t think. You’re under a time crunch, Lucien. You’ve told me this again and again. Your friends need you. So why aren’t you willing to go in there and help them? What’s the hold-up?”
“The hold-up?” He mulled over her question, but the longer he delayed, the more Alison’s eyebrows furrowed. There was no way he was avoiding this question. It was time to reveal everything.
I just hope she understands I didn’t plan for this.
“The hold-up is how we rescue Logan,” he said, hating himself for even now dragging out his explanation. He was such a coward.
“You go into wherever he’s being held, and you bust him the hell out of there like we did with Lorik and Lana,” Alison told him, as if that should have been obvious.
“It’s not going to be that easy,” he said, cringing.
“Why not? Where is he being held at?” Alison crossed her arms.
“Um, in a secure facility,” Lucien said lamely.
“Where, Lucien? Where is this facility?”
He sighed. “It’s located below the mental illness ward of the hospital. The one I used to have access to when I was your boss.”
Alison’s face was completely unresponsive, giving absolutely nothing away.
This was going to be bad.
27
The first thing she did was sit up straight, removing her hand from Lucien’s knee. Secondly, she forced herself to take in a deep breath, proud of how little of the emotions raging inside her showed through, making it far less ragged than it had any right to be.
So, this was why was Lucien had come to her two nights before. All along, she’d been under the impression that it was because he cared about her, that after six long months apart, he wanted to see her. Perhaps his injury-ravaged brain had thought he would be seeing her one last time before he died. Alison really didn’t know, but that was the fairy-tale sort of lie she’d let herself believe.
And a lie it was.
She’d fallen for it without hesitation, believing him when he’d said he cared for her, that he’d come back for her because he did. She’d believed that the passion in his kiss, in his voice too, had all been for real, that he’d truly felt that way about her. She’d made love to him still believing that.
Now, now she knew it wasn’t real. None of it had been real. All this time, it had been a coverup, a conjob designed to convince her to help. To get her aid in his real question. She hadn’t been real to him. Alison was nothing more than a means to the end for Lucien, and why wouldn’t she be? After all, she wasn’t a wolf shifter, so why would she ever assume that he would want to be with someone that wasn’t his own kind?
Had he been planning this all along, she wondered? From the very start nearly eight months earlier? His little flirtations, the torrid—for her—workplace romance. All of it a lie, so that he could use her for something?
For access. An ID badge, fingerprints, key codes. That was it. Lucien had fabricated a monstrous story, pretended to care about her deeply, all because he wanted something from her.
“So that’s why you came to me,” she said at last, when her mind started to come full circle. “You just needed me for my access, in case you didn’t have your own anymore because you got found out.” She slapped her forehead. “How could I have been so blind?!”
“No,” Lucien growled, his voice filling the little room, spilling out into the rest of the house. “That is not all I wanted. That is why I’m trying for another way, can’t you see?” he pleaded.
Alison took a deep breath. “What else did you want, Lucien?”
She would give him precisely one chance. One opportunity, to take everything he wanted. Would he seize it? Or just let it slip? Would the words come to him, the words that might make her reconsider? It was the one thing she still believed he couldn’t lie about, though there was no proof to the contrary.
Lucien licked his lips, staring directly at her, until she started to feel uncomfortable. Was he going to speak? Would he say it?
His head tilted down, and she had her answer. Whether he couldn’t, or wouldn’t, say it, it no longer mattered. Alison knew the truth.
All the good she’d felt in the morning, the burgeoning feelings of acceptance and belonging, were gone, ripped away like a bandage not ready to come off. The pain was fresh, but not unknown. Alison welcomed it back after so long, like an old friend, though this wasn’t one she missed.
But it was one she knew how to handle. Being cast out, thrown away. Oh yes, she was very used to that. It was why she’d been so reluctant to open up to Lucien in the first place, and now she was getting a fresh lesson on why she should trust her instincts and never anyone else. Others lied to her.
The humiliation would come soon. It always did, as would the questions of how could she actually have believed he would care about her? They would haunt her sleep, keep her up for entire nights while she grappled with yet more abandonment.
Of course, he didn’t want me. Nobody wants me. You’re broken goods, and you know it. If you were smart, you would have seen this coming.
Anger at the fact she’d given herself to him bubbled up deep within. Given herself freely, and completely, and he’d taken it, stood there and taken it without hesitati
on.
“I’m leaving,” she said abruptly, standing up. “Bergey!”
The dog was instantly at her side, though he kept looking back and forth between her and Lucien, sensing the tension and emotion flying about the room, and wasn’t entirely sure how to act.
“No.”
“Excuse me?” she asked, her voice ice. Beside her, Bergey’s ears flattened against the back of his head and his lips pulled back slightly. Alison could see the hesitation in him, and didn’t blame the animal. Bergey somehow knew what Lucien was, and didn’t want to tangle with him, but was showing he would, if it came down to Alison’s safety.
Good boy.
“I said no,” Lucien repeated, now standing.
“Are you threatening me?”
Lucien’s face dropped, mouth falling open in a mixture of surprise and horror. “What? Absolutely not!” he all but shouted. “How can you? I…Not something I would do. That’s…” he finally snarled, receiving an answering one from Bergey, which caused Lucien to step back in surprise.
“I’m leaving,” she repeated, daring him to deny her again.
“What I meant,” Lucien repeated, eyeing the dog carefully. “Is that I am leaving. You should stay here. It’s safer.”
Alison shook her head. “I cannot hide here forever, Lucien. I have to go home at some point. I’m not staying with you.”
Her words hit him like a physical object, but the huge shifter gathered himself slowly, not retreating. “Wait until we launch our attack,” he pleaded. “Once it’s over, and Logan is free, then you can go home. They’ll leave you alone, because you won’t be of use to me anymore.”
She frowned, as if sensing more words, unspoken ones, yet aching to come out. What wasn’t he telling her? What was she missing here?
“I’ll go get the others,” Lucien said after a moment when she didn’t reply. “We’ll be gone soon.”
Alison watched him head out the door to converse with the trio waiting outside. The entire time, she kept waiting for him to stop and turn around. To confess the truth to her. To just speak his feelings! Why was that so hard for him?