“Nay. I’m ready to commit my life to you.”
“Until you disintegrate into dust you mean?” She disentangled herself and sat up. “Maybe we should wait and see what happens.”
“Do you no’ want me, Zoe?”
“Oh, I want you.” She met his gaze. “And I don’t want to lose you. Knowing I might, well…” She shrugged, and studied the gold duvet. How could she explain? She needed to protect herself, didn’t she?
“Knowing you might lose me in a couple of weeks makes you reluctant to give your heart.”
Zoe nodded and bit her lower lip.
“Aye, well, you’ve given me your sweet body.” He ran his hand down her spine. “I thank you for that.” He grinned. “You’re holding your love back until you see if I live through all of this. I canna blame you, lass.”
“It’s going to hurt like hell if you die. I can’t help holding back. It’s like walking into the dentist’s office knowing he’s going to drill. You know you have to get through it, but you don’t walk real fast toward that big vinyl chair.” Zoe felt like crying. She blinked and studied the room.
How could he be ready to commit his life to her when they’d only known each other for a handful of days? Wait. She’d known him for a few days. He’d known her forever. No. He’d known the former her. The present her needed more time. Cripes, I’m talking about myself in third person!
“Let’s no’ discuss this now.” Thomas drew her close and brushed his lips across her forehead. “Where were we in the story?”
“Mairéad agreed to give up her immortality to marry Dermot, and her mother was not pleased with either of them.”
“Less pleased with Dermot. It was his idea.”
“So then what happened?”
“Once Áine realized she couldn’t change her daughter’s mind, she agreed to the union on one condition.” Thomas paused to fondle her breast, and her body went into overdrive.
“Thomas, please.” She removed his hand from her chest. “Continue the story. What was the one condition?”
“We have the whole afternoon. There’s no reason we canna—”
“Something’s been bothering me.” Zoe pulled the covers up so nothing showed to tempt him…or her. Everything in her life had become very intense since she’d met him. There had been way too much to absorb in too short a time. The closer they became, the more anxious she became. And confused.
“What is it?”
“I’m afraid.” She covered his mouth with her hand when he started to respond and propped herself up on one elbow. “I’m afraid of what I feel for you, and I’m afraid because I might lose you. This is all happening so fast.” She shook her head. “All we ever talk about is Dermot, Mairéad and the damned curse.” Tears welled up. Swallowing hard, she looked directly into his beautiful blue eyes. “What if once the story is done we find we have nothing else to talk about? What if our past is all we have in common?” she whispered.
Thomas enfolded her in his arms and ran his hands over her back. “I swear to you, we’ll have plenty to talk about after this is over. We’ll make plans together, start a family. Maybe I’ll come work with you in your wee shop, and we can talk about work.” He tightened his hold. “Would you like that?”
“Working with you?” She thought about it for a minute. “I don’t know. What would you do otherwise? What would you like to do?”
“Make love to you day and night.”
She snorted. “Be serious.”
“I’ve had almost two millennia to accumulate wealth and property all over the world. I have no need to work, and neither do you.” He leered at her. “And I am being serious.”
She couldn’t help smiling. “I like working.”
“Then continue. I’ll be content with whatever you choose.” Thomas kissed her shoulder and nuzzled her neck. “You’ve no idea how much it means to me, and how much I want an ordinary life with you.” He made a muffled noise against her skin, his voice breaking. “You worry we’ll have nothing to talk about? My God, woman, being quiet for hour upon hour would be heaven so long as you’re beside me. I’ve been so sodding lonely without you for such a sodding long time.”
“Oh, baby.” Zoe ran her fingers through his hair. “It’s okay. We’re together now. Let’s finish the story. Let’s get this over with so we can bore each other to tears.” God, this man had such an effect on her. His pain went straight through her like some kind of emotional osmosis. “You said Áine set conditions before agreeing to the union. What were they?”
“Can you no’ guess? Dermot had to form an elite cadre of warriors to act as personal guards for Mairéad and himself. We all had to swear to protect them with our lives. Once we took the oath before Áine and her father, Dermot and Mairéad were wed.”
“I get it. You all swore to protect her, not just Dermot.”
“Aye, and things went well for a time. We flourished and our holdings grew.” Thomas wrapped a curl around his forefinger and rubbed it with his thumb. “Naturally, neighboring clans began to covet what we had. Compared to most, we were very wealthy.”
The obvious pride in his tone made her smile. “Go on.”
“Raiders from the north started to harry our borders, stealing and plundering where they could.” He closed his eyes as if calling up the images from his past. “Many villages and smaller holdings were hit hard by their forays into Scotland. Weaker clans sought our protection, and our numbers increased. We had recently built a new keep, a timber structure set upon a hill for defense. Mairéad was with child, almost to term, and Dermot wanted her kept safe.”
“Wouldn’t a castle made of stone have been better?” Zoe asked. “I thought castles had like, twelve-foot-thick walls of stone or something.”
“We lived in the fifth century.” He shot her a look like she should know this. “Castles of stone didn’t come about until much later. Our folly.” He shrugged. “Wood burns.”
“Oh. I don’t know much about the fifth century.”
He patted her arm. “Of course you don’t remember. Dermot says we all drink from the well of forgetfulness before we can be reborn. He also says—”
“Focus, Thomas. You do have a tendency to drift off topic.”
“Aye. Sorry.” He shifted his weight next to her. “The Sutherlands, a neighboring clan with a grudge against us, formed an alliance of sorts with mercenaries from the north.” He shuddered. “Vikings you’d call them.”
“What did you call them?” Zoe asked, perplexed.
“Whore-sons, soulless spawns of the devil. They took slaves when they raided, burned homes and destroyed crops. They killed cattle, raped and murdered women and children…I’ve seen it with my own eyes.” His expression changed, as though haunted by the images in his mind. “There’s nothing more foul than the stench of burning flesh, or to see a woman or a child you knew dismembered, their parts strewn about in the dirt.”
He might as well have left the room he seemed so far away. Thomas trembled and reached for her hand, gripping it so tight it hurt. “Ouch.”
“Och, I’m sorry, love.” He relaxed his hold. “I’m remembering things best left forgot.”
“Are you going to tell me what happened to me that day?”
“Nay.” He sat up and swung his feet to the floor, his back to her. “I canna even bear to think about it. Dinna ask it of me.” His voice came out in a hoarse rasp. He swallowed several times. Zoe rested her hand on his shoulder. Thomas turned and crushed her to him, burying his face in the crook of her neck. She stroked his hair and murmured words of comfort. His entire body shook as he relived the losses from that day.
“I won’t ask again, Thomas. I’m sorry.”
He took her face between his hands and looked deep into her eyes. “I failed you that day.” His voice was filled with anguish. “My loyalties were torn between duty to my laird and his lady and my duty to you.” Thomas pressed his forehead against hers. “Never again will I let anything or anyone come between us. I vow it up
on my very soul.”
His eyes were so full of pain and desperation her heart broke for him. “I’ve changed my mind. Let’s shop for rings,” she whispered, wanting nothing more than to take the pain away and to see him smile.
Thomas held her a moment longer, and kissed her with a fierce possessiveness. “I would have bought one anyway. If any man looks at you while I’m gone, I want him to know you’re mine.”
“Do you have to return to Scotland with Dermot? Couldn’t you stay here with me until it’s all over?”
“Tempting, but I must be there to be released from the curse. And you’ve yet to learn how it came about.”
Sighing, Zoe settled herself against him and laid her head on his shoulder. “Tell me.” She leaned her head back to gaze at him. “Let’s finish this ancient story so we can start a new one together.”
“That’s the best idea I’ve heard since you suggested this afternoon’s…activities.” He winked and drew her tighter against his side.
“As I recall, this was your idea.” She nudged him, pleased to see his mood lighten. “Finish the story, and we can engage in activities again.” She wagged her eyebrows at him, ran her hand down his chest and kept going.
“Zoe.” Thomas put his hand over hers. “If you continue in the direction you’re headed, the tale is no’ likely to be told today.”
Giggling, Zoe settled herself against him. “Okay. Go on.”
“We were attacked before dawn. First our enemies started the stable on fire. Our clan gathered quickly to put out the blaze. We had no idea it had been started as a diversion. None of the guards on duty saw anything amiss. We found out later we were betrayed from within our own ranks.”
“Did you learn who started the fire?”
“Aye. The man did no’ live through the day.”
Zoe shivered.
“Are you cold, leannan?”
“No. I’m getting goose bumps all over, like I remember some of the horrors of that day.”
“Some part of you does remember. You were there.” He rubbed the length of her bare arm. “Once the clan had gathered, the attack began. Mairéad had been ordered to stay inside the keep when we all rushed to put out the fire. She was too far along in her pregnancy to be of any use, and Dermot did no’ want her in harm’s way.”
“Alone?”
“Nay, with one guard and a companion.” He shook his head. “None suspected an attack. One guard seemed sufficient at the time since she was behind the wall. Once the battle began, Dermot sent several men back to the keep to protect her.” Thomas sighed and kissed her forehead. “Mairéad was the true target all along. Our enemies envied our alliance with the Tuatha, and they wanted the advantage eliminated.”
“Oh, man. That’s harsh going after a pregnant woman like that. Wicked harsh.”
“Wicked harsh, indeed.”
“Did the one guard left behind survive?”
He nodded, his expression distant. “I’m certain they thought him dead. Lachlan had been knocked senseless in the battle against Mairéad’s attackers.” He twined their fingers together. “We fought all morning before managing to turn the tide. By the time we made it back to the keep, it had been set ablaze, and Mairéad lay dying on the floor in the Great Hall.” He turned to face Zoe. “What transpired then between Dermot and Mairéad is too intimate to impart. I wish to God I’d no’ been there to witness it myself. We had to drag Dermot away from her as the building burned down around us.”
“She died.”
“She did. That night Áine appeared. Dermot and she had a terrible row, both blaming the other for Mairéad’s death. Dermot had summoned Áine for help, and she failed to heed his pleas. Áine was livid that we failed to protect her daughter during the attack.”
“Dermot summoned her? How do you mean?”
“It’s complicated. Part of the alliance included creating a pathway of sorts for communication between Dermot and the Tuatha Dé Danann. Have you ever heard of astral projection?”
“Sure, out-of-body experiences you mean?”
“Aye. Dermot says their form of communication is similar. He sends mental energy on an astral path created by the Tuatha for that purpose.”
Zoe propped herself up and beamed at him. “Wow. Can anyone learn how to do that? Just think, we could communicate all the time when we’re apart.”
“I do have a mobile phone, Zoe, and an international carrier. I’ll put you on my plan and see that you get a new phone.”
“Oh fine.” She plopped back down, disappointed. “It would’ve been cool to have our own channel of communication.”
Thomas chuckled. “I doubt the Tuatha wish to share their secrets. They are a race of beings far more advanced than we are. When they wish to, they exist in a separate dimension unknown to us.”
“Goodie for them,” she grumbled. “So, Áine and Dermot fought. Is that when she cursed all of you?”
“Nay. She left that night and came back the next day bearing wine from the land of the fae as a peace offering, or so she claimed. The discussion that evening turned to vengeance. Áine demanded that we see her daughter’s murderers vanquished. We agreed. She said she wanted to seal our vow with a toast and filled our goblets with the faerie wine.” Thomas paused to shake his head. “I tell you, lass. I knew we should no’ have partaken. We had already consumed quite a bit of ale that evening, and our judgment was impaired.”
He turned to face her. “I expected Áine to kill us that night. What need did she have for mere mortals to avenge her daughter, when she could easily accomplish the deed by herself? What she did to us was far worse than death. She cursed us with immortality.”
The muscles in his jaw twitched. “At first, none of us realized the repercussions of her perfidy. Some saw our immortality as a blessing. God, we couldn’t be defeated by any foe.” He shook his head. “Then you watch your relatives age and die, their offspring age and die. So much loss. Nothing but loss, century after century.”
Thomas threw off the covers and got up to pace. “Then there’s the problem of hiding your immortality. Moving frequently, counterfeiting birth certificates, death certificates. I tell you, lass, no’ a man among us wishes to continue this way. Dermot should never have married Mairéad.”
Zoe struggled not to be distracted by Thomas’s magnificent body as he paced. Lord, he didn’t have an ounce of flab on him. All muscle and gorgeous male, and he was hers. All hers. “Are you saying you blame Dermot?”
“Aye.” His eyes took on a haunted look. “Nay.” Thomas raked both of his hands through his hair. “I canna say for certain. He should have stayed with the Druids. He did no’ know his own people when he took his father’s place.”
“Who would’ve been laird if he hadn’t returned?”
Thomas walked across the room and shoved the drapes open to stare out the window. His body rigid, he made no reply. She’d hit a nerve, and she suspected she knew the answer. “Back to the story. You think there was something in the wine, and that’s what made you immortal?”
“Aye,” he said to the window.
“Thomas, come back to bed. I don’t like the idea of the rest of St. Paul being privy to that…um…view of you.”
He glanced over his shoulder at her with a blank expression as if her words hadn’t registered.
“How did you find out you were cursed with immortality?” she asked.
“After we all lifted our goblets and partook of the faerie brew, Áine rose from her place and made some kind of runes in the air before her. She told us we were cursed for failing to uphold our end of the agreement—a curse with no way out.”
“Wait. If the curse had no out, how can it be lifted now?”
“Dermot appealed to Dagda Mór, Áine’s father.” Thomas returned to the bed and sat on the edge. “The high king of the Tuatha Dé Danann does no’ involve himself in the affairs of mortals. He was displeased with his daughter and no’ happy to be drawn into her quarrel with Dermot. However, Mairéad was
his granddaughter, so he agreed to listen to both sides. Once he had, he rendered judgment.”
“Which was?”
“He judged both parties grieved, though not in equal measure. Because we failed to protect Mairéad, we had to bear the brunt of Áine’s wrath. But because Áine failed to heed Dermot’s summons in time to save Mairéad, he also forced his daughter to provide us with an out.”
“Which is?”
“We must return Mairéad’s reincarnated soul to the exact place her murder took place on the anniversary of her death.”
“Why?”
“Who can say?” Thomas shrugged. “Everything’s a game to the Tuatha. Faerie politics are beyond my ken, lass, but I’m certain Dagda Mór had his reasons.”
“So, Sidney is Mairéad,” Zoe muttered.
“Aye, and once Dermot discovered she’d been reborn, the clock started ticking. We have only this one chance. If we fail, we remain immortal forever. As of tomorrow, we have only fifteen days left.”
Chapter Seven
Sidney wiped the condensation off the medicine cabinet mirror with a wash rag and wondered how long she could hide out in the bathroom. The Macy’s box from Dermot tormented her from its place at the end of her bed. Resisting the urge to tear it open had consumed her from the moment she’d arrived home from work.
Two hours until Dermot came to pick her up. Certainly she could control herself for two hours. Then she’d return it to him. Unopened.
“Hey, Sid. Some of us out here are waiting for the bathroom.” David knocked on the heavy wooden door.
“Can’t a girl have a little peace?”
“Sure. In her own room, which is down the hall and to the left.”
She belted her terrycloth robe and opened the door, sliding past David in a cloud of steam. “Brothers.”
“Sisters.” David shut the door behind her.
Zoe had stayed at Panache until closing, so she couldn’t enlist her aid. Not that she’d be any help. Zoe would’ve opened the box and had the dress on Sidney in a heartbeat. Standing in the middle of the kitchen, she considered making a fresh pot of coffee to distract herself. She didn’t really need it. Her stomach was jittery enough without the caffeine. “Oh, the hell with it.”
Heart of the Druid Laird Page 8