He opened one eye to peer at her in question.
“You don’t look so good. Are you sure you’re okay?”
“I will be. Using magic takes a toll. I end up with a raging headache.” He sipped his tea. “This helps. Once the throbbing subsides, I’ll fix us something to eat.”
“If you’d just get me one of the walking casts like I asked, I’d be fine. You don’t have to wait on me like I’m some kind of invalid.”
“Gods, woman.” He lifted his head to glare at her. “Are you always so impossible to please? I’ve done nothing but try to please you since first we met, and it’s all come to naught.”
“I only meant you’re in no shape to wait on anybody.” Sidney blinked back the tears stinging her eyes. She took a shuddering breath. “I will travel to Scotland with you, and I’ll take your damn money. That should make you happy. Once the curse is ended, we’ll go our separate ways. In the meantime, I’ll ride back to St. Paul with one of the other men or drive myself.”
“You’ll ride with me.” His tone carried an edge.
“We have one more thing to settle.” Sidney ignored his tone and his decree. “What happened last night will not happen again. Like you said, you never wanted to sleep with me, so this arrangement should please you to no end.”
“Wheesht, ye wee glaikit besom.” He leaped from the couch. “I swear ye put me in a fankle o’ purpose.” Dermot stomped up the stairs, taking them three at a time.
“Gee. Too bad I don’t speak gibberish,” she called after him, “or I might be really offended.” And if it hadn’t been for her own hurt feelings, she might’ve felt a bit of satisfaction at his reaction. She might’ve even found his immature exit amusing. Instead, an empty, hollow sensation lodged in her chest, and a lump formed in her throat. Snatching the frozen vegetables from her ankle, she hurled the bag toward the stairs.
Approaching headlights illuminated the wall. Dermot had been sitting for hours watching Sidney sleep. Her injured foot, now encased in a plastic-and-nylon boot, lay propped on a pillow. A cane rested against the coffee table within easy reach next to a plate holding the remnants of a sandwich and an orange peel. She’d been forced to take care of herself while he’d pouted upstairs like a child. He rose and shook her shoulder. “Wake up. They’re here.”
She groaned and stretched, blinking up at him.
“It’s time to go.” He tried to help her sit up, only to have her brush him away.
“How long have I been sleeping?” Her hands went to her hair. “God, I must be a mess. Why didn’t you wake me sooner?” She wrapped the blanket around her waist and struggled to stand. “I’ve got to freshen up.”
“It’s only Lachlan and Niall. You look fine.”
“I’m not wearing any pants. How is that looking fine?” She spied her duffel and backpack on the floor next to his. “You packed my stuff?”
“To expedite matters, aye.” He thrust his hands into his pockets, widened his stance and braced himself for an argument.
“Which bag holds my toiletries?”
“You’re no’ angry because I went through your things?” Gods, would he ever figure her out?
“No. It’s not like I travel with deep, dark secrets hidden in my duffel.”
“The wee bag is in the backpack.”
Rifling through her things, she pulled out a dry pair of jeans and her toiletries. “I can appreciate help when it’s offered.” Turning her back on him, she hobbled up the stairs.
He walked through the first floor, making sure all the appliances and lights were turned off. Lachlan and Niall entered the lodge at the same time Sidney started down the stairs. His men exchanged glances and then gazed at her. It meant nothing. They were only curious. Still, his jaw clenched and he had to fight the wave of possessiveness sweeping through him. She approached with a bright smile that made his teeth itch.
“Hi, I’m Sidney.” She held out her hand.
They glanced at each other then at him. He gave them a nod, and they took turns shaking her hand.
“I’m Lachlan, and this is Niall.” Lachlan pointed at Niall with his thumb.
“Which one of you is driving the Jeep back to the Twin Cities?” Sidney opened her purse and fished around in its depths.
“Lachlan will,” Dermot replied.
“Oh, good.” She passed her keys to Lachlan and turned toward him. “I noticed you made the bed and tidied up.” Giving him a syrupy smile, she pressed a twenty dollar bill into his palm. “This is for you.” She snatched her parka from the back of the couch and put it on, tucked the cane under her arm and grabbed her bags.
“I’ll carry your bags.”
“I have them.” She limped to the door without sparing him a glance, working her way around his men and out the front door.
“What the hell did you do to the lass?” Lachlan asked.
“Nothing. She sprained her ankle when she went for a walk.”
“Hmm, a walk to get away from you, I’ll wager.” Lachlan raised an eyebrow.
Niall nodded. “You’d better apologize.”
“For what?”
“It does no’ matter what it’s for.” Lachlan placed a hand on Dermot’s shoulder, and gave him a shake. “In all the years you’ve lived, have you learned nothing about women?”
“Who would’ve taught me?” He shrugged. “The Druid priests, or the uncles who trained me to fight?”
“Mairéad,” Lachlan murmured.
“You and the rest of the men saw more of Mairéad’s true self than I ever did. You know it’s true. She walked on eggshells around me, as did I around her. My wife never raised her voice, much less shared her thoughts with me. How was I to learn?” He scooped up his overnight bag from the floor.
“Mairéad was in awe of you,” Lachlan said. “You were the center of her world. Had she lived longer, I’m certain the two of you would’ve found your way with one another.”
“A lot of good that does me now. Let’s be off.”
“Where women are concerned, it’s always best to apologize, even if you believe you’ve done nothing to offend.” Niall grinned. “It’s a long flight home on a very small jet.”
Dermot held out the keys to his rental. “Give me the keys to the Jeep, Lachlan.”
Lachlan made the exchange. “You told the lass I’d be driving.”
“Aye, so she’ll be in it, won’t she? Take off immediately so she doesn’t have the chance to switch to another vehicle. We’ll follow after I’ve…” He groaned and pinched the bridge of his nose.
“Begged for forgiveness on your knees?” Lachlan laughed, and Niall joined him.
His stomach in a knot, Dermot followed the men outside and locked the door. He waited until Lachlan and Niall drove off before approaching the Jeep. He tossed his bag in the back and came around to slide into the driver’s seat. Sidney opened her door and exited the passenger side. Resisting the urge to pound his head into the steering wheel, Dermot put the keys into the ignition and lowered the window. “Get in.”
“You said Lachlan was driving my car.”
“Plans have changed.”
“I’ll say they have.” Sidney turned around and headed for the house.
Dermot got out of the Jeep and overtook her in a few strides. “I’m sorry,” he snapped.
“For what?” she snapped back.
“For…” He racked his aching brain for whatever it was she wanted to hear, and came up with nothing.
Sidney shook her head and snorted. “You don’t have a clue, do you?”
“No’ a sodding notion, and it’s making me crazy.” He gave her a shake. “Whatever it is I’ve done to upset you, you will forgive me right now,” he commanded.
“Are you nuts? You can’t order me to forgive you.” She knocked his hands off her shoulders. “Put yourself in my place. You’ve careened into my life, pursued me relentlessly, invaded my privacy and made the most outlandish claims about who I am.”
She poked him in the chest. “Do you remember w
hat you said at the gym? Do you? I’m going to make you mine, Sidney.” She mimicked his brogue. “So, we did the deed, and the morning after you hand me a check. A. Check. Now you say you never intended or wanted to sleep with me.” Throwing her hands into the air, she shouted, “What the hell do you want from me? I don’t even think you know.”
Her eyes shone with unshed tears, and her chin quivered as she studied his face. What did he want from her? Everything. “I want you to look at me the way you did last night. I know that much.” He pulled her against him and tried to breathe. “Gods, you must know I want you. I’ve thought of nothing else since first laying eyes on you. I can scarce keep my hands from your body even now, and we’re fighting.” He tipped her chin up to look into her eyes. “I wanted to protect you, mo anam. That’s why I didn’t intend to lose control last night, and why I didn’t want anything to happen.”
She studied him intently. “Protect me from what?”
“From me.”
Chapter Thirteen
Sidney’s thoughts chased around inside her head, and he still held her so tight she could hardly breathe. “You want to protect me…from you? What does that even mean?”
He released her, refusing to look her in the eye. “We must be going.”
“What kind of threat are you to me?” He didn’t answer. She followed Dermot to the Jeep, and Scary Faerie’s warning flashed through her mind. Should she fear him? Perhaps ending the curse involved some sort of physical danger.
Dermot helped her into the Jeep and leaned across her to fasten the seat belt. Her senses filled with his delicious outdoorsy scent, and she could feel the heat radiating from his body. How could a man smell so damned good, seem so right and exasperate her so completely all at the same time?
They drove in silence. She fiddled with her watchband and stared out the window into the growing darkness. “What kind of danger does my helping you involve?”
“I must take you to the place where you were murdered on the anniversary of your death.” His hands gripped the steering wheel so tight his knuckles stood out in stark relief. “That is all I know for certain.”
“How does that morph into my needing protection from you?” She glanced at him. “You’re not the one who murdered Mairéad, are you? Maybe if you told me more about—”
“It has nothing to do with the curse.” He turned toward her, his face an unreadable mask. “I’m no good for you is all.”
“You’re talking relationship stuff here?”
He shook his head. “I was raised by men to be a leader or a priest. I’m no good at…I was never prepared to deal with…”
“Oh.”
“I let Mairéad down in the worst possible way. I’m certain it’s why you feel such anger toward me.”
“How did you let her down?” She gave him a wry look. “I’m guessing you and I weren’t all that ecstatic together in our past life. Is that what you mean?”
“It doesn’t matter.” He stared out the windshield, his body rigid. “I have nothing to offer. That’s why I tried to keep my distance.”
“You have nothing to offer. That’s what all this is about? I don’t recall asking for anything.”
“I—”
“Oh, shut up. You’re such an idiot, you know that? Not to mention arrogant.”
“No doubt.”
“Plus, you never really answer any of my questions, which is extremely annoying. There is no such thing as I’ve got nothing to offer. That’s just a really lame, sorry-assed excuse for selfishness.”
“Selfishness?” He scowled at her. “You do no’ understand.”
“Sure I do.” She grabbed her purse from the floor and pulled out her iPod. “Where is that check anyway?”
“In my wallet.”
“I’ll take it now.”
He reached into his back pocket and tossed the wallet onto her lap. She transferred the check to her purse and placed the wallet on the dashboard. She put her earbuds in and leaned back with her eyes closed, determined to shut him out.
How dare she call him selfish? He’d never been allowed the luxury of selfishness. His entire life had always been about responsibility for others. Dermot watched the Jeep’s headlights eat up the broken white lines on the highway. Her words preyed on his mind.
Now would be the time to tell her he’d disintegrate into dust the moment the curse lifted. Then she’d understand. Maybe she’d even regret her words and offer him some sympathy. He should tell her, and he would.
Not now though, not while so many emotions churned within him. Dermot reached over and took an earbud out of Sidney’s ear. “What do you mean by an excuse for selfishness?”
“We’ve already had this discussion, remember? Right after we had sex for the second time.” With a glare, she put the earbud back and closed her eyes.
He took it out again. “The topic of that discussion was romantic love and cowardice. This is different.”
“Is it?” Her brow rose. “Why should I answer your questions? You don’t answer mine.”
He didn’t want to answer her questions. Once she knew the secret he carried from their past, and how he’d failed Mairéad, she’d never forgive him. He couldn’t bear the hurt and betrayal he’d see in her eyes. The temptation to compel her cooperation grew strong. Gods, maybe he was selfish. “Please, do me this favor.”
Sidney looked askance at him. “Okay, only because you asked so nicely. Saying you have nothing to offer is a copout. You lusted after me enough to have sex with me, but you don’t care enough about me to take an emotional risk.”
“Nay,” he protested. “It’s because I care about you that I tried to keep my distance.”
She snorted. “Like I said.”
“You’re wrong.”
“Am I? You asked, and I answered.” She shrugged. “Material assets aside, none of us has anything to give anyone but ourselves. It’s a choice. Either you take the risk and become vulnerable with someone, or you don’t.” Taking the earbud from his hand, she smiled at him. “It’s okay. I’m fine with things the way they are. I never asked you for anything.”
“What if I’m no’ fine with the way things are?” Panic exploded in his chest. He didn’t want it to be okay with her.
“Since you’ve offered nothing but money, and asked for nothing other than my help ending the curse, I can’t see why you’d have a problem.” Sidney shrugged. “From what you’ve told me, our previous association was all about political and material gain. By your own admission, Mairéad belonged to you in much the same way as your cattle. You didn’t love her. Why should things be any different now?”
“I cared for her.” Her words made him squirm. “You must consider the era and my position.”
“Must I?” She turned to look out her window. “The way I see it, you need my help, and you’re willing to pay for it. Besides the lust, that’s all there is to the story.”
“What if I change my mind? What if I’m willing to take the risks you keep harping about?”
“Harping about?” She rolled her eyes at him. “Yep, I’m thinkin’ that ship has pretty much sailed.”
“Aye, but you control the rudder.” Gods, what the hell was he saying? Dermot stood at the edge of a precipice, and everything hinged upon what Sidney said next. Was it possible he wanted to make that leap for her? No. Not an option when death loomed so near. Yet, here he was, willing to beg if necessary and rationalize his actions no matter what. He thought of Thomas. His cousin said he’d remain immortal if he must to stay with Zoe. Was such a thing possible? “Can we start over?”
“Again?” Sidney continued to stare out her window. “How many start-overs am I supposed to give you?”
The hurt he heard in her voice turned him inside out. “When did—”
“Don’t you remember? The night we went out to dinner you asked me then if we could start over.”
“I remember.” He was traveling in a foreign country without a map. “Do you…have feelings for me, lass
?”
“What kind of question is that? Do you think I’d fall into bed with a man I don’t care about? Would I be upset about that big fat check if I didn’t have feelings for you? I would’ve helped end the curse for nothing. You didn’t even give me the chance.”
“I know what to apologize for now.”
“Oh?”
“I’m sorry I’m such an arse.”
“I’m sorry you’re such an ass too.” Her laughter filled the SUV, causing the familiar flutter and surge of warmth inside him. Finally he’d said something right. Dermot smiled as thoughts of how she’d slept in his arms flashed through his mind. He longed to make love to her again. He imagined holding her through the night, her naked body snug against his.
“I forgive you, but I’m not going to sleep with you again.”
His smile disappeared.
Thomas held Zoe close while the jet was fueled and made ready for takeoff. He sent a wave of gratitude to Sidney for insisting she needed time to prepare for the trip. They’d had four glorious days of freedom. He and Zoe had made the most of every moment. Hell, they’d spent most of their time together in bed. “You’ve got my mobile number on speed dial. I expect you to use it.” He ran his hands down her back.
“I will. You too. You’d better call me at least once a day.” Zoe glanced around the airport. “Dermot and Sidney aren’t here yet.”
“David is bringing them.” He brushed her lips with his. “It’s only a week we’ll be separated, love.”
“I hope you’re right.”
Lachlan, Niall and Donald exited the hangar and made their way toward the jet. Until now, Thomas had managed to keep them away from Zoe. He hadn’t wanted them to cause her any more distress than she already felt. The three men studied her as they approached. Thomas put his arm around Zoe’s shoulders.
“Who is this?” Lachlan asked, nodding his head toward Zoe. Donald and Niall flanked him.
She stepped out from under his arm and extended her hand to Lachlan. “I’m Zoe LeBlanc, Thomas’s fiancée.”
She lifted her chin as if challenging Lachlan to deny her claim, and his chest swelled with pride. He should’ve known his lass would no’ be intimidated. Three pairs of eyes turned his way, all holding varied expressions of shock and disapproval.
Heart of the Druid Laird Page 15